Employer to applicant: In this job we need someone who is responsible.
Applicant: I'm the one you want. On my last job, every time anything went wrong, they said I was responsible.

Young man, do you think you can handle a variety of work?
I ought to be able to. I've had ten different jobs in four months.

Judge to defendant: Aren't you ashamed, coming here for the third time?
Defendant: Well, you come every day.

Why did the man wear a wet shirt?
Because the shirt's label said: Wash and wear.

Q: Which city is trying to get rid of its mad people?
A: Madrid..... MAD.. RID (got it!!)

A teacher was testing the young student's intelligence.
When is your birthday dear? asked the teacher to his six-year old.
22nd February, said the child.
What year my dear? Asked the teacher.
Every year, said the child with a smile.

Sunny: My mom took me to the cemetery last Sunday.
Sonia: Oh! anyone dead?
Sunny: Yes All of them!

Knock, Knock. Who's there?
Opportunity.
Can't be.
Why Not?
Opportunity knocks only once.

Q: What is the best place to go to when you are dying?
A: The living room.

Q: When can 60 people stand under an umbrella without getting wet?
A: When it isn't raining.

Raju: How many sides does a circle have?
Ravi: A circle does not have any side.
Raju: Yes, it does, the inside and the outside.

Q: Why are doctors and lawyers never perfect?
A: Because they are always practising.