| Answers to Life's Little Questions |
| Q: What is it when a
man talks nasty to a woman? A: Sexual harassment. Q: What is it when a woman talks nasty to a man? A: $3.99 a minute. Q: How can you tell if your husband is dead? A: The sex is the same but you get the remote. Q: If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love? A: The swallow. Q: What's the difference between a paycheck and your Dick? A: You don't have to beg a woman to blow your paycheck. Q: What's it called when a woman is paralyzed from the waist down? A: Marriage. Q: What are the small bumps around a woman's nipples for? A: It's Braille for "suck here." Q: How many men does it take to change a light bulb? A: None. They just sit there in the dark and complain. Q: Why are men and parking spaces alike? A: Because all the good ones are gone and the only ones left are disabled. Q: What have men and floor tiles got in common? A: If you lay them properly the first time, you can walk all over them for life. Q: What is the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? A: One is a bottom-feeding scum-sucker and the other is a fish. Q: Why do men want to marry virgins? A: They can't stand criticism. Q: Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking? A: Because those men already have boyfriends. Q: Why do men like masturbation? A: It's sex with someone they love and admire. Q. What is a man's view of safe sex? A: A padded headboard. Q: How do men sort their laundry? A: "Filthy" and "Filthy but Wearable" Q: Why did God create man? A: Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn. Q: Why were men give larger brains than dogs? A: So they wouldn't hump women's legs at cocktail parties. Q: What's the difference between a woman and a computer? A: A woman would never accept a 3.5" floppy!! And a computer can't turn a 3.5" floppy into a hard drive in a matter of seconds. Q: Do you know why women fake orgasm? A: Because men fake foreplay. Q: What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? A: After a year the dog is still excited to see you. Q: What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? A: The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving. |