Ever wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?

I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

How do you know when you're in the middle of nowhere?

What do the vacuum "Dirt Devil" and Viagra have in common? They both put the power of an upright in the palm of your hand.

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese.

What if there were no hypothetical questions?

Ever stop to think and forget to start again?

When people say "It's always in the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the heck would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?