Chapter Two "Season One"

1966

Hollywood/Los Angeles, California

The Continuance of Adventures With Gene, et al

January

I was living with this guy, Randy Johnson, while Gene was still living with his "starlet" girlfriend, a dancer named Jackie. Randy was a musician too, and he had a rich father. We had a lot of fun together, did a lot of crazy-fun things. One night we took Acid and split a bottle of Romalar cough syrup. We got extremely stoned. I do not remember anything of that "trip" except when we went to Ben Franks and got iced tea or something. We had gotten two mini-flashlights somewhere. I do remember that we were playing Space Folk and pretending the tiny flashlights were our ray guns. Laughing hilariously all the while, we would shine and flash them on and off, at each other and on other people and things, and then say we'd just "blasted" the people or the objects with our ray guns. I don't even remember who was there besides us, but someone joined us at our table and we had much fun blasting them too. I think whoever it was joined in our game, borrowing our "ray guns" and blasting us in turns.

One morning, after a party we'd given, with so many people that his small house was packed to over-flowing, I woke up to find Randy "doing it" with some girl; they were lying across the back of my legs! I was hurt, but more than that, furious. I pretended to be asleep until they finished and rolled off my legs. Then once they were asleep, as was everyone else in the house, I quietly got up, gathered all my belongings and left. That was it for me and Randy! I'd originally gotten together with him because Gene was living with that dancer in the first place.

I returned to my home with my Nana and Mom, very sick. After leaving Randy, I'd originally planned to hitchhike to Mexico! However I was so ill, with constant coughing, fever, etc., that Nana took me to our family doctor. It's just as well, since I'd of most likely been robbed, raped, murdered, etc., going off like that on my own, having only just turned twenty on 15 January; and, being so naive, I thought I knew all about the world and "everything". My illness turned out to be pneumonia, which lasted for three weeks. This illness was the result of my running around in the rain, much of the time stoned on Acid or whatever else, without wearing any jacket, and sometimes barefoot. Randy and I had even spent three weeks "living at" the Venice West coffee house in Venice Beach. We'd hang out in the Venice West from afternoon, (when it was not raining...if it was, then we'd be inside as soon as they opened the doors) and then hang out there until it closed. Then we'd go back out to the beach with our sleeping bags and sleep there. That had been in December of 1965. Anyway, once I was recovered, I started hanging out a lot with Candy and Marilyn.

(More to come...as I remember)

Hollywood/Los Angeles, California

Pre-Fame Stories About Gene and The Other Byrds

Late January ~ February

One of the friends I had made since meeting the Byrds, Candy Lake, along with her pals, Marilyn Miller, Kathy West, Flo, Norma, and others who's names I can't remember now, told me a whole bunch of great stories about Gene, Michael, Chris, David and McGuinn. But it was especially Gene they told me stories about. Firstly, they all wanted to be with each of their favorite guys, the other Byrds members; and also, I think, that since by now I had "a crush on" Gene, which they all knew about, they encouraged me in it. It was like they, as well as "destiny", always seemed to be "pushing" me to him, and the two of us together. There were so many of the pre-fame stories. They were all super. One of the funniest was the one about when Michael and Gene used to tell everybody that they were Brian Jones and Mick Jagger, while trying to pick up girls. Gene, of course, was supposed to be Mick; imagine a six foot tall Mick Jagger! I try to picture Gene endeavoring to speak in a British accent with that Mid-Western drawl of his! I busted up laughing about that one. It was great.

(More to come...as I remember)

Hollywood/Los Angeles, California

Meeting and Going To a Party

With The Rolling Stones

February

One night while at The Trip with Candy, who had known the Rolling Stones since they first came to Los Angeles, introduced me to Mick Jagger, who was, I think, sitting with Carl (one of Vito's "gang") along with Bill Wyman and perhaps some other people. Later we all made our way to the front of the club. As we were walking to the door to exit, I remember first Carl patted me on my ass and whispered in my ear that I shouldn't wear a girdle (it was the only thing I had, from my mom, to hold up my stockings) because I was too young and firm to need one. Then Mick swatted me on my ass a couple of minutes afterwards! I was flattered but I just acted like I didn't notice it. Once we went out the door, we all got into the long black stretch-limo which was waiting there. When we got in, Candy, Mick, someone else, it could have been Carl, but I don't remember now, and I, were seated with Brian Jones and his European girlfriend, "What's-Her-Name". Bill Wyman, the other 'Stones members, and a couple of their managers, sat across from us. I would really rather that it had been with Gene and the other Byrds who we went with. But next to that, going with the Rolling Stones was the next best thing. It was a rush and fun beyond imagining to be sure. They had the limo's radio on, and while we were on our way to the party, one of their newest hit songs came on, and they all began cheering.

Once we got to the party I got so stoned on pot laced with something (probably opium, though in those days, I didn't know that much about it), that I don't really remember much of any details, except that Brian and his girlfriend were real jerks, stuck-up, and acted like everybody but they were peasants. However Mick, Bill, and most of the others were so nice, friendly, fun and great to be around and socialize with, etc.

(More to come...as I remember)

Hollywood/Los Angeles, California

Gene and I Formally Introduced & My

First Time In His Home

March

It was the Opening Night of Donovan's at The Trip. This was the new in, cool nightclub, located across the street from Ben Frank's. It was on this night that it all began as to my finally being formally introduced to Gene, by one of his ex-girlfriends, in this case, Candy. I had always insisted that Gene and I really must be formally introduced to each other. I'd been raised with Victorian manners, so that was a must for me. Though Gene and I already "knew" each other from since the first night in Ciro's, and our seeing each other backstage a lot, both there, other places which I've previously mentioned, The Trip, at parties, at other gigs they did around town and in the Valley, and all our other cool hang-outs. Still our conversations were mostly short, like "Hi," and stuff like that. Candy was willing to do me the favor of introducing me to him. Gene and I were strongly attracted to each other, and had been so from the first time we made eye contact, perhaps even "before"; but his job/career was not conducive to approachability and easily getting acquainted, being asked out on a date, and all the things that go with establishing the rest of "down-to-earth" relationships. I had also been told that, at the time of the Byrds' becoming famous, and all the stuff that went with it, that their managers had actually told the guys who and who not they could and/or should date!. I couldn't stand Jim Dickson for a long time because of that. I'd just assumed that had been his doing. However I finally got to know him a couple of years later, once I was hanging out at the Troubadour, and we became good friends. The last time I remember seeing him was shortly after I had moved up to Mendocino in 1971.

Earlier that night Candy and I had hitchhiked up to Gene's house on Stanley Hills Drive in Laurel Canyon, but he wasn't home. We sat on his front porch for about two hours smoking pot, cigarettes and eating Nestles' Crunch candy bars, until we finally gave up waiting. We wrote Gene a note telling him we'd been up to visit him, and we both signed our names. From there we hitched back down to the Strip, and there Candy and I saw Gene's little sky-blue two-seater M.G. convertible parked across from The Trip. We alternated between hanging out by his car, sitting on it and smoking pot and drinking Romalar cough syrup, which, once we stopped gagging, got us high as kites. It was kind of like Acid, pot and speed, all at once, combined. Then we would go back across the street to The Trip where we would hang around and wait to either be let in for free, as happened most of the time except for the Opening Nights, or hang out in front until Gene came out of the club. When he didn't come out by 1:30 a.m., and we were again sitting on the hood of his car, we gave up and headed back across the street by The Trip to hitchhike home. Just as we were in the middle of Sunset Blvd. we saw Gene walk out of the club, and cross the street to his car. Frustration indeed! Without even thinking, I went to the curb's edge and stuck my thumb out as Gene turned out onto the street heading toward us, on his way home, I presumed. To my delight, he pulled over and picked us up. Candy jumped in first before I had a chance, so she was in the middle and next to Gene. That kind of made me mad, but it was minor, really. She then formally introduced us to each other. When Gene, who was going to turn up Laurel Canyon Boulevard, stopped to let us out, I said, "It was really nice meeting you, Gene", and other stuff which I forget now, he replied in much the same. However, before he left the curb to turn up Laurel Canyon, he looked at me right into my eyes as he said, "Come over to my house anytime. You're always welcome." I was very happy to put it mildly.

The next night Friday, Candy called me, and I met her at Ben Franks, and then we hitchhiked up to Stanley Hills Drive to Gene's house. I don't know why now that I didn't go up there alone; after all he had told me, too, that I "was always welcome at his house". I guess I was still so young and uncertain of myself that it never occurred to me to do so. Anyway, we knocked on the door. Gene answered, and seeing me, his face lit up, and he said, "Hey! Great to see you! C'mon in!" And we did. At first, he and Candy were talking about stuff that they knew about from his pre-fame days, the one I remember being, "...this is sure a lot better than that house on Melrose, isn't it?" While we were sitting in his living room chatting, Gene went to his fridge and got out a bottle of wine that was almost empty, and split it three ways for us all to share. I was nervous, excited, happy, and feeling all kinds of things, but Gene was really easy to relate to and with, very good company indeed, and somehow he made me feel more at ease. When we ran out of the wine, he said, "Let's go get some more wine and stuff and have our own party." So we piled into his M.G., Candy again jumping in the middle before I had a chance to, which now really pissed me off, but of course I didn't let it show or say anything. I just "acted the Good Sport", while gritting my teeth. It felt so wonderful being in Gene's car in the warm spring night, "flying" down Laurel Canyon Boulevard to the Liquor Locker, where he had us wait for him while he went in to get the wine, and me a pack of cigarettes because I'd run out. What a Sweetheart he was!

Candy kept looking around and saying stuff like "If only Marilyn and all those guys could see us now!" Her attitude and actions embarrassed and annoyed me to no end. She wasn't as honest and sincere as I preferred, especially as I strived to be that way. I know Marilyn and most of the others were more like me than Candy was. But I was not so "pure" either, for I saw my opportunities to get close to Gene through them and took advantage of it. It was not a bad thing, however, because I did my best to give honest and sincere friendship to them. And they didn't seem to mind my taking the opportunities. In fact, I think they wanted to give them to me. As time went on, I caught Candy in several out and out lies, so from then on I took her words with a grain of salt, until I could see or find out for myself and confirm or deny the validity of what she told me. In time Marilyn and I became closer friends. And I learned quite a lot about what was true and what was false, as well as much more of the details of many of the "pre-Byrds" stories.

Gene came out of the store with enough bags of groceries to feed at least 50 people! Candy and I had bags on our laps, and more all around us, under our legs on the floor, as well as in the little "back seat." When we got back, Gene made sandwiches for us, gave Candy and me wine, while he drank beer. I was so "happy-nervous" that I could only finish half of my sandwich. We talked about a lot of stuff while eating, then once the table was cleared, Gene brought out a sheet of notebook paper on which he'd just written the song, Echoes. It couldn't have been very long before he had written it, perhaps even earlier that same day. I still remember his bold clear printing, and noted that he apparently didn't write in cursive, as he read his latest creation out to us. Then we got into more earnest conversation. Gene told us about his quitting the Byrds, some of why. I'd known about some of this as well. I was glad he had done so, hoping he would become more approachable and not have that "big rock-star" thing clinging to him. He also told us about how he had got up and walked off the jet they were leaving for a tour on. When he, stoned on Acid, saw that part of the inner wall of the plane next to his seat was falling off, he told us it just freaked him out and he refused to go. I'd been told a lot of this by Candy and others before the news was public. It was best, however, to hear it directly from Gene.

As our conversation continued, I remember saying, after Gene said he was freaked out by having to fly in planes, that I liked to fly in jets, except for when the plane hit turbulence. So Gene then told me a story about a horrible plane crash that had killed all aboard it. He said this was the plane that just dropped from the air and crashed and burned onto Mount Fujiyama. He said it had happened about a week or two before this night. I don't know why, and I feel quite of stupid about it, but even to this day, ever since Gene told me that "Mt. Fuji horror story", I became very nervous about flying in planes myself. I always have to be at least "half drunk" for even the take off, which, aside from the turbulence, is the scariest part of air flight for me.

Among all the "pre-fame" stories Candy, Kathy and the others told me, was the one about how Gene ended up being the "tambourine player" instead of playing rhythm guitar, as had been the original format of the band. Apparently at one of the gigs they did somewhere before they were on television, someone stole David's guitar and the little creep just took Gene's guitar away from him, and then refused to give it back. So Gene had to play the tambourine while he sang. Gene and David did not get along well with each other at all. We talked about lots of other stuff, too, which I can't possibly remember now after so many years! It was a wonderful evening, though, to say the least.

Well I drank that wine. Too much for what happened later. At some point, I knocked over my glass, spilling wine all over Gene's rug. I was mortified! Gene just laughed, however, and got out the biggest push-broom I've ever seen, and started sweeping the "wet wine" off his rug. At some point either before or after this, he played Eight Miles High for us, which was to be released on the radio in a few days, so I was among those that got to hear it before. I just loved it. Again, it was so unique.

Gene asked me if I liked jazz, and I truthfully said that I did very much, especially John Coltrain; and his music just happened to be playing on the jazz radio station. By now Gene and I were lying on our backs, still in the living room, by his piano, listening to the jazz and talking about anything and everything, and we were laughing a lot, too. We were so completely into each other. Candy could've been on Mars for all we were aware, or cared. It was wonderful. A bit later, as we were talking, I was still lying on my back, and now Gene was on his side, leaning on an elbow, looking down at me as we chatted, and I thought to myself, I wonder if he's going to kiss me. I hope he does kiss me. And that same sensation felt strongly that it was coming to me from him.

Later Gene and I went into the kitchen, and, at his request, I made some coffee for us. He had asked Candy first, but she simpered and said she didn't know how to make coffee. She kept up this false image of herself that she came from a very wealthy family and had always had servants, so she "knew nothing of domestic chores". I doubt Gene believed this anymore than I did. I knew Candy's Mom and Dad, and Gene and Michael did as well. I clearly remember Candy's Mom told me that the two guys had come over and had dinner with them from time to time when they were poor and starving aspiring rock-stars. I also had eaten dinner often there, and spent nights there as well. Those times I stayed overnight were often to escape my drunken mother and her abusive treatment of me; it was just too painful for me to handle. It was also so much better for me to stay at Candy's, or one of the other of my friends' houses, than to go out and pick up strange men who I didn't even know their names and sleep with whoever it was, rather than return to my home and my mother's creepy and drunken sphere of "friends" and the parties she often threw.

Anyway, while Gene and I were alone together in the kitchen, we were really comfortable with each other, and talking and laughing heartily about something. Then all of a sudden Gene just grabbed me and held me in a tight embrace, a very loving embrace. Neither of us said anything; and I could feel so much love emanating from him, and I felt so much love for him. It got to the point that I knew I was going to start crying, because of the deep intensity of my feelings and emotions. So I kind of pulled out, away, from him, but not out of his arms. But when I did, he misunderstood my action, and the look of pure hurt in his eyes and on his face bewildered and distressed me terribly; and the memory of this has haunted me ever since. The reason I'd done that was because I was afraid that if I started crying he would obviously ask me why I was crying, and that he would think I was crazy or God knows what when I would try and tell him. I also didn't know what words to put to the feelings I was experiencing, and consequently, I'd not know just what to say. Then I did start to tell him something like I liked him a lot, etc., but he just kissed me on the cheek or forehead, let go of me, and with a kind of sad smile, he walked out of the kitchen. After that Gene and I were both rather subdued and depressed, though we still felt that desire and love for each other. I also think he was wary of getting "close," because he had just come out of that relationship with the "starlet-dancer" not more than two months previously. I had also just come out of one as well, dumping Randy not more than a month before this night; and I had the same wariness as Gene.

(More to come...as I remember)

Hollywood/Los Angeles, California

Gene and I First Became Lovers

March

The first time Gene and I did kiss, I felt us as one, and saw him in my minds eye as a little boy on a farm, all sunny and green and yellow - I guess the yellow and green were for the countryside and the corn that he grew up around - and I could feel all of it. I can't explain it any better than that in words. Also, it just felt so right, even somehow familiar. Even with the frustrating circumstances around us, once we had a taste of what being together, was for us, we wanted each other even more. And we wanted to be together "now". It was that same feeling of familiarity like we knew each other forever. It was like we couldn't get enough of each other. It also felt that we were truly made for each other in all ways. However both of us were very sensitive and insecure. We were not, I think, mature enough, not to mention being secure in ourselves enough to open up and just "go for it". Through all the subsequent years, we both felt love for each other and "wanting to give it another try and do it right this time". After the first time we made love I really knew that I loved Gene and that I was in-love with him too, and that it was forever. Also I hoped, prayed and wished, he did, or would in the future, feel the same for me. Though our mutual attraction and feelings for each other never left us, our lovers' intimacy only lasted, on and off, until mid to late 1968.

(More to come...as I remember)

Hollywood/Los Angeles, California

Continuing and Ensuing Adventures of 1966

April ~ September

It was during spring, summer, and autumn of 1966 that when Gene was out and about, he'd stare at and watch me all the time. But then he would leave with other women; and at times, he would be with some of the worst slutty looking women I've ever seen. I particularly remember one night, I looked beautiful, and we had chatted now and then in the Whiskey's. And then when it was closing and I was outside talking with Rodney Bigenheimer, Gene came out with this girl I remembered from being in a class with at Hollywood High. Well that was insult added to injury! That girl had been a real snotty, stuck up bitch in school, and now here she was going as a "date" with the man I loved more than life. So I stuck my nose up at Gene, gave the girl (I think her name may have been Sharon) a lethal glare, turned my back to Gene and continued chatting with Rodney. All during this Gene was watching and staring at me; and I could feel him, like in my head I could read his mind, and he mine. I knew he wanted me to turn around and look at him, say something nice, smile at him, or anything pleasing like that. Of course I was very angry, frustrated, hurt and jealous, not to mention that Gene and I were equally stubborn and proud. So I refused to give in to my feelings with him. I did look around at Gene over my shoulder once or twice, despite myself, and saw his eyes and countenance penetrating into mine. Deep down inside I wanted to respond to him in the loving way I felt for him, but instead I just let my hurt, anger and jealousy show quite plainly. It was kind of weird, because I just kept getting these loving vibes from Gene despite the situation. I was too proud and stubborn for my own good though, and eventually Gene and that stuck-up-bitch from eleventh grade finally left together. I felt that sense of loving and hating Gene all at the same time.

(More to come...as I remember)
Hollywood/Los Angeles, California

Gene Shows His Possessiveness of Me

In The Whiskey a' Go Go

October ~ December

One night when I went into the Whiskey's I ran into Buddy Miles, whom I'd met at a few parties. We'd gotten high on uppers, drank beer and talked all night. When Buddy saw me he gave me a really warm, friendly "Hi! I remember you! How're ya doin'?", etc., and gave me a big hug. We were good friends. Buddy bought us drinks and we sat at a table and chatted. We talked about lots of stuff, just conversation really. I think it may have been close to half an hour, no more, when all of a sudden Gene along with Michael, were standing at the bar when I looked over at it. They hadn't been there when I first came into the club that I could see, so it was like they appeared out of nowhere! I noticed that Gene was looking over his shoulder at me and staring fixedly and intensely at me. Not only was it on his face, his body language, but also in his eyes. Gene was jealous and possessive of me! I could feel it emanating from him as well as see it. He made absolutely no pretense at subtly. He would eye me, and then Buddy.

After a time Gene and Michael left the bar. The next thing I knew, within no more than five minutes of their disappearance, Gene and Michael were standing no farther away then three or four feet from Buddy's and my table; and they were both watching us, being very obvious. Neither said a word, but they didn't have to. I projected my thoughts at Gene "telling him" that "You are way off the mark in what you must be thinking!". But all that seemed to do was make Gene turn his, "she's mine", vibes very strongly towards Buddy. And Michael was helping Gene, backing him up! I was at the same time complimented and annoyed. There was nothing for Gene, let alone Michael, to be jealous about. Buddy was my friend, pal, and "buddy" just like his name. We were like siblings. Gene and Michael kept this up until Buddy got to feeling awkward and nervously said his "Bye, I'll see ya some other time...", and then he left. That poor guy!

At the least Gene, and Michael as well, could have come over to my table, sat down with me, and bought drinks for us, etc., now that they had gotten Buddy away from me! But they didn't. Gene and Michael became aloof and went back to the bar! Gene kept his eyes on me all night, however. After sauntering away from my table back to the bar, they each got a shot of something. Gene watched me like a hawk all the time he was there. Not very long after Gene and Michael finished their shots of whatever they had, they left the Whiskey's, after no more than an hour, if even that long! I was both delighted and furious.

(More to come...as I remember)