My First Rape
September 10, 2001 will be the tenth anniversary of my first rape.
My First Rape. Sounds like something you'd find in the toy store, next to My First Barbie and My First Kitchen Set. "Well, sweetheart, since we can assume that you'll experience some form of sexual violence in your life, why don't we buy you this nice pink My First Rape playset for Christmas? Then you can be all ready for it, when the time comes."
"Wow, Mommy, did you get raped?"
"Yes, honey, when I was 20. Hopefully you'll be a little older when you're raped. Some women never get raped at all. Then again, some women never get married, but they played with the My First Bride's Dress playset too."
"Oh look, what's this thingy?"
"That's a toy speculum, honey. After you're raped, if you report the rape and go to the hospital, they use that special tool to get some stuff to find out who raped you."
"What's those pills, Mommy?"
"Those are just candy, honey, but when girls or women are really raped, they often take some special pills to keep a baby from growing inside them because of the rape."
"Those silver things look sharp, Mom."
"Yes, those are plastic razor blades. Some women who have been raped use the real ones to keep living. Others use them to stop living."
"Oh. Rape doesn't really sound as fun as being a doctor, like Barbie."
"Well, no, it's not a lot of fun. Neither is domestic violence. But they're both part of being women, honey. It's what women do. Even Dr. Barbie gets raped sometimes."
-- 21 August 2001
Elusive Gorgons: my writings