Disclaimer: Much as I wish that the oldest three were,
the Weasleys, alas, are not mine (no, not even Percy). They belong to J.K. Rowling, along with
Albus Dumbledore, Minerva McGonagall, Hogwarts, Barty Crouch, the Tri-Wizard
Tournament, and any other people or places mentioned in this song.
The
song “When I was a Lad…”, from the operetta “H.M.S. Pinnafore” belongs to W.S.
Gilbert (lyrics) and Sir Arthur Sullivan (music), but seeing as it’s over a
hundred years old, I think that their copyright may have expired.
Rowling,
Gilbert & Sullivan made a lot of money with their writing, but I am not
making any money off of this.
Percy:
When
I was a boy and went to school,
I
got good grades and followed every single rule.
I
respected all positions of authority,
And
said sir and ma’am at every opportunity.
Fred,
George, & Ron:
And
said “Sir” and “Ma’am” at every opportunity!
Percy:
And
I spoke to my teachers so respectfully
That
now I am a big shot in the ministry
Fred,
George & Ron:
And
he sucked up to his teachers so skillfully
That
now he is a big shot in the ministry.
Percy:
By
fifth year I was such a teacher’s pet
That
McGonagall suggested me for House prefect.
I
scolded all my brothers for their jokes and dares,
And
polished up my prefect’s badge with love and care.
Fred,
George & Ron:
And
polished up his prefect badge with love and care!
Percy:
And
I polished that insignia so lovingly,
That
now I am a big shot in the ministry.
Fred,
George & Ron:
And
he shined that stupid badge so brilliantly,
That
now he is a big shot in the ministry!
Percy:
As
prefect my teachers found me such a joy
That
Dumbledore appointed me Hogwarts head boy.
I
quoted regulations like a great big bore,
And
bossed around the other kids in Gryffindor.
Fred,
George, and Ron:
And
bossed around the other kids in Gryffindor!
Percy:
I
controlled the other students so responsibly
That
now I am a big shot in the ministry.
Fred,
George & Ron:
And
he bossed us all around so incessantly,
That
now he is a big shot in the ministry!
Percy:
With
a school record proving that I was no slouch,
I
was hired as assistant to Sir Barty Crouch.
I
wrote his memos and I took his calls,
And
I never thought of making a complaint at all.
Fred,
George, & Ron:
No he
never thought of making a complaint at all!
Percy:
I
performed all my duties so cheerfully,
That
now I am a big shot in the ministry.
Fred,
George & Ron:
He
became the workaholic we all knew he’d be
And
thus became a big shot in the ministry!
Percy:
When
Crouch got ill I filled in so well,
That
almost no one noticed he’d gone weird as, um, as heck.
I
made excuses each time that he was absent,
And
took his place at the Tri-Wizard Tournament.
Fred,
George & Ron:
And
took his place at the Tri-Wizard Tournament!
Percy:
And
I picked up Crouch’s slack so diligently,
That
I became a big shot in the ministry.
Fred,
George & Ron:
Though
everybody thinks his name is Weatherby,
He’s
still become a big shot in the ministry!
Percy:
You
wizards young whosoever you be,
If
you want to rise to the top of the tree,
Put
your wand to the grindstone when you are in school
And
be careful that you follow Percy’s Golden Rule:
Be
polite to your boss, and keep things orderly
And
you all may be big shots in the ministry.
Fred,
George & Ron:
If
you suck up to your boss, and have OCD,
Then
you all may be big shots in the ministry!
^_~
Sorry
Draq, I couldn’t find a way to fit in a line about Penelope Clearwater (pretend
she’s the one he’s singing to).