DISCLAIMER: This filk is based on
characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers
including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast
Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or
trademark infringement is intended. The
song “I Wanna be a Producer” comes from the musical The Producers and
belongs to Mel Brooks.
Posted by: Elspeth (AKA Elspethdixon).
Ships: There’s a hint of Puppyshiping if you look hard, but otherwise,
none.
We
Wanna be Animagi!
THE
MARAUDERS:
Unhappy…
unhappy…very unhappy
Unhappy…
unhappy
Very
very very very very
Very
very unhappy
REMUS:
Oh,
I’m twitchy all that evening
And
exhausted the next morning
Every
full moon night
MARAUDERS:
Every
full moon night.
SIRIUS:
I’ve
spent a few weeks musing
Upon
your sad state
OTHER
MARAUDERS:
Unhappy
SIRIUS:
The
solution is real amusing
It’s
gonna be great.
OTHER
MARAUDERS:
Unhappy
SIRIUS:
I
have a brilliant proposal
To
help you out of this hole.
Listen
guys, I just know you’ll
Be
thrilled to play this role.
*
beat *
We
ought to be animagi
We’ll
all learn to change our shape.
We
ought to be animagi
That
way danger we’ll escape
We
ought to be animagi
Make
sure Remus is all right
We
ought to be animagi
And
keep him company all night!
We
ought to be animagi
I’m
sure we could do the spell
We
ought to be animagi
So
Remus won’t feel like Hell
We
ought to be animagi
We
can do it if we try
We
out to be animagi
We’ll
shift our shapes, Peter, James, and I!
JAMES:
That sounds like a good idea!
MARAUDERS:
We
want to be animagi
REMUS:
Are
you sure?
JAMES:
We
think it will be a smash.
MARAUDERS:
We
want to be animagi
Change
our species in a flash
We
want to be animagi
Help
you out when you are sick
We
want to be animagi
Tell
us, what shapes should we pick?
REMUS:
Er…
SIRIUS:
We’re
gonna be…
MARAUDERS:
We
want to be…
SIRIUS:
We’re
gonna be…
MARAUDERS:
We
want to be…
SIRIUS:
We’re
gonna be the greatest, grandest
And
most powerful animagi in the world!
MARAUDERS:
We
want to be animagi
We
think we’ll shift to a dog and stag and rat.
PETER:
I
just gotta be animagi
And
grow whiskers just like that
SIRIUS
& JAMES:
Grow
antlers/fur just like that!
JAMES:
I
want to be animagi
And
grow horns upon my head.
I
want to change my shape
So
Remus will not bite me
MARAUDERS:
Run
around in the forest nightly.
JAMES:
I
want to be animagi
And
get lots of girls in bed!
PETER:
(spoken)
How
will changing into a stag accomplish that?
JAMES:
(spoken)
Shut
up and let me fantasize, okay?
MARAUDERS:
Unhappy…
unhappy…
So
unhappy
REMUS:
Very
very very very very
Very
very…
MARAUDERS:
…
sad.
JAMES:
We
wanna be animagi…
Hold
everything! I think we’ve finally
gotten it! Sirius was right!
It
wasn’t that hard after all!
Look
at me, I’ve got hooves!
REMUS:
Guys,
what do you think you’re doing?
JAMES:
Remus,
we’ve got news for you! We did it!
Here’s
our fur, our antlers, and our big finish…
We’re
gonna be animagi
Sound
the horn and beat the drum
We’re
gonna be animagi
SIRIUS:
Look
out Forest, here we come!
MARAUDERS:
Look
out Forest here we come!!!!