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After my last trip to the doctor's, my physician discovered a medical phenomenon. My cheese consumption has increased to four pounds per day over the last five months, and my heart has actually turned into a wedge of cheese, pumping a thick, yellow liquid through my veins made of 75% cheese. This has never been discovered in all of medical history, and technically, I should be dead. |
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The cheese has spread throughout my entire body, and decreasing cheese intake now would be even more tragic to my health. I must maintain eating a variety of cheeses all day while performing as little physical activity as possible. The cheese will eventually take over my whole body leaving my bones in a weak, rubbery, cheddar-tasting state. My cells and immune system will be overturned to cheese, all the while I will be battling softball-sized kidney stones. |
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This state will inevitably leave me dead at the age of 27. While doctors do not currently have a cure or a name for this deadly but delicious disease, they are looking for suggestions all the time. Please do not let this happen to you, unless you really like cheese. Then go ahead. |
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=w=WEEZER WALLPAPER=w= |
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