April 10, 2002
I am sending this email almost
expressly to tell you that I have slain the beastly thing. It was making a nest
in my window when I tried to go to bed tonite. Not a case of “hey i found a
ladybug, cool” – it was making its home. And I got nervous and figured right
away tomorrow I would try to deal with it, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to
sleep knowing it was getting real comfy. So I started praying and shaking, put
on flat-soled shoes, made sure the door was unlocked, tore off some paper
towls, moved the plants, unplugged the vacuum, pulled back the sheets and the
stuffed ones, and continued to shake and finally I opened the window a bit, and
it froze, and started moving again. So I took a deep breath said a really short
prayer and shoved the window open. Luckily for me the disturbance in the force
caused it to fall off its web into the sill, where it balled up. I vacuumed it
up, and scrutinized to make sure it was in there. I figured I didn’t really
want to walk down two flights of steps in pajamas at midnight to dump it
outside, revving the vacuum the whole way, so I took it into the bathroom,
pulled up the seat, revved it once, started taking it apart, shaking it to keep
the ugly thing balled up and confused, then tipped it over the terlit, flushed.
Breathed, flushed again. Took the vacuum completely apart, flushed again. Rinsed
the vacuum parts (except the engine). Looked around for the thing, just to make
sure, my knees shaking violently the whole time. Flushed once more. Said a
thanks, came in here, checked once more, started putting my room back together.
I’m still shaking. But at least now I know I won’t have to worry about opening
my window and having it come back. I just need to get rid of the rest of the
web later. I feel almost good. Shaking. But way relieved. Now it’s nearing 1
a.m. so much for an early night. But hey, at least it’s gone. Party on, dude.