Chapter 7

Before any of the students at Hogwarts were aware of it, the end of the term had crept up on them. December was full of chilly winds and pure white snow. None of the students found the desire to go outside to study any longer. Most stayed huddled up in their common room by the fire.

The Astronomy Tower had become one of the coldest places in the castle. However, that did not stop Shaia from meeting Remus there practically every night. She performed a fairly advanced Heating Charm on the room and settled, waiting for him. She looked up at the moon outside the window. It was so beautiful that night, despite the crisp weather. The clouds uncovered it, allowing the full, white orb to beam in on her.

A sudden wolf howl sounded distantly outside the window. Shaia huddled her knees into her chest. She was glad she was in the castle, away from the Forest where most werewolves dwelt. Hogwarts was an amazing, but dangerous place.

After a while of sitting alone in the room, Shaia looked around impatiently. Remus was nowhere to be found. He�d promised her a night alone in the Tower, but yet, he was absent.

�Tempus,� she muttered, shooting a wisp of smoke out of the end of her wand. It read �11:23.� He was half an hour late.

Shaia looked around anxiously. He had promised her he�d see her that night� he�d be there. It wasn�t like him to be so late.

She stood up and ran her fingers through her hair, frustrated. She stood in front of the window and stared out at the large moon. It was a beautiful sight, one of her most favorite things to just gaze at. Other than the stars, of course. When it was so full, round, and pure like it was that night, it was truly a sight to behold.

An unplanned tear fell down her cheek as she thought about Remus. What could possibly be making him so late? Especially when he had been so sincere in asking her earlier that day.

Staring at Shaia in Herbology had become one of Remus� favorite hobbies. Then again, it didn�t have to be Herbology for him to do that. He had never thought about being so distracted from his work by anyone other than his best friends. However, James was talking his ear off that day and he barely caught but two words he had to say. Shaia once again, had her hair down.

After the bell had sounded for lunch, Shaia waited outside the greenhouse for Remus to emerge. He smiled widely at her while she took a few seconds to flick the hair over her shoulders and greet him. He stared at her for a few seconds before she broke the silence.

�Are you going to hold my hand or do I have to be the aggressive one in this relationship?�

Remus blushed but took her hand anyway as they walked to the Great Hall together. Staring at Remus� profile, Shaia felt safe and secure. Nothing could go wrong. Before they went inside the Hall, Remus stopped and turned to look into her face. She stepped back a little, not sure of what he was going to say.

�Can I see you tonight?�

�Of course you can, don�t you always see me?�

�Yes,� he clasped both of her hands in his own and brought them up to chest level. �But tonight is going to be different. Do you know what tonight is?�

�The sixteenth of December?�

�No, no, Shaia, think about it. What is tonight?�

�I don�t know, Remus. Why?�

He only sighed, bringing her hands to his lips and kissing them gently. �Meet me tonight. I need to talk to you.�

�I�ll be there. What time?�

�Eleven. It�s supposed to be cloudy until then. I really need to tell you something.�

�What is it?�

�Can it wait?�

�No, I�m impatient. Tell me right now!� she demanded jokingly.

He smiled at her, a smile that made Shaia�s knees go weak. �I love you, you know that?�

�Yes. And I love you.�

�Then just meet me tonight.�

�I�ll be there, I promise.�

Shaia stared at the window scornfully. She scoffed, staring at the moon when the crashing of her heart began.

What if wherever Remus was, he was out there? What if he had encountered that howling wolf� what if he was in danger?

She suddenly became anxious, jumping onto the platform of the window and peering out hopefully. He couldn�t possibly be out there, no one was allowed after dark. Not only would he get attacked by that thing, he would get in a lot of trouble if he wasn�t completely mangled.

�Oh, Remus,� she started crying, pounding on the window. �I don�t want to lose you! Don�t do this to me!�

She pulled out her wand and screamed, �Finite incantatem!� and ran out of the Tower, back to the common room. However, Lily came running toward her before she could even reach the portrait. She didn�t look nearly as panic-stricken as Shaia did.

�What�s going on? Do you know anything?�

Lily nodded, taking Shaia by the hand and leading her back to the common room. They sat down on the couch and Shaia wiped the tears from her face. �What is going on? Where is Remus?�

Lily spoke quietly. �He�s um��

�Where? Where is he?�

Her friend shook her head. �He�s not coming.�

�Why? Is he okay? Is he hurt?�

�He�s not hurt.�

Shaia frowned. �Well, is he okay? Where is he?�

�I don�t know why he promised you tonight, of all nights,� Lily said, more to herself than to Shaia.

�Be straight with me.�

Lily�s brilliant green eyes landed on Shaia�s large brown ones. �I can�t, Shaia. You have to talk to Remus. He�s the one you love. He�s the one that you need to hear this from.�

Shaia shook her head dismally. �I wish I knew what was going on. Why can�t you tell me? You know, don�t you?�

�Yes, I know, but I want Remus to tell you,� she whispered. �He can�t keep this away from you forever. I found out two years ago. James, Sirius, and Peter know too.�

Shaia�s eyes widened. �So you�re telling me I�m the only one who doesn�t know?�

Lily nodded. �Why don�t you ask him what�s going on tomorrow? He�ll tell you.�

�What about tonight? I want to talk to him as soon as possible.�

Lily looked around warily. �It won�t happen tonight. Not until the morning. Just wait.�

Shaia said nothing as her friend lifted herself off of the couch and went back to the dorms. She couldn�t move from where she was sitting. What had just happened?

�Shaia, Shaia, wake up!�

The clock told her it was four in the morning. Had she slept all day or was she part of some really rude joke?

�What? What is it?�

Lily was standing over her bed, looking just as disheveled as she did and frantic. �Remus is back. He wants to talk to you.�

Remus? Shaia shot up out of bed. She shoved her feet into her slippers and grabbed her robe. �Why is he up this early?�

�He�s been awake. He just got back.�

�Just got back from where?�

�Go talk to him.�

Shaia did as she was told, not at all happy with Remus for hiding something so big from her. And she wasn�t especially happy about being woken up three hours early to talk to her boyfriend.

Clambering down the stairs by herself, she found Remus lying in front of the fire. He was staring at the ceiling and looked ghostly pale. Shaia�s heart did a flip flop� maybe he was terminally ill or something and she had just thought about how angry she was with him? What if this was the last time they�d ever talk?

Remus opened his eyes at that second and stared at Shaia. �Come sit down,� he offered, in a calm and eerie voice.

Shaia did so, silently and precariously. She sat almost five feet away from Remus, staring at him thoroughly. She was desperately trying to figure out what was going on within the man she loved so much. He finally sighed, propping himself up on his elbows to stare at her.

�I really was going to come tonight.�

�I know,� Shaia whispered. She refused to look him in the eye. That was the last thing she needed at the moment.

�Shaia, I�m not how sure I am of wanting to say this out loud. So I need you to think. Be the smart girl you are. What was last night?� Remus had moved into a sitting position. He too, was intent on looking away from Shaia.

�Sixteenth of December,� she said agitatedly. �Why does everyone keep asking me that?�

Remus surprised her by turning around and glaring at her. �THINK, SHAIA! Use that intelligent brain of yours! You were in the Astronomy Tower tonight, you should know!�

Shaia was now flustered. It was as if she didn�t know how to talk. �I-I?�

Remus grabbed her shoulders and shoo her subtly. �Please, Shaia! Tell me you�re figuring it out! TELL ME!�

And she was. Piece by piece, everything she had learned from Defense Against the Dark Arts was coming back to her. It was slowly making sense. �No, Remus, it can�t be.�

�Yes, it can. I can�t help it. It happened a long time ago.�

�Remus, no,� Shaia cried. Tears flooded down her cheeks. She pushed to get away from him.

�No, please,� Remus was now becoming desperate. �Shaia, don�t leave me. I don�t want to lose you.�

�Remus, let go of me,� she shouted, writing out of his grasp.

�Don�t! Don�t pull away from me! Let me explain!�

�REMUS! NO!�

They struggled for a few minutes before Shaia succeeded in pulling away from him, and then stationed herself behind the couch. You�re being silly, she told herself. He�s not dangerous! It�s after the full moon!

�Why are you acting like this? Use your head, Shaia!� he screamed at her. She could feel the raw pain he was in, because she was feeling it as well.

However, no matter what he screamed at her, she couldn�t use her head. She couldn�t think straight. She knew that werewolves were dangerous, but only during the night of the full moon. That was over. That was why he wanted to talk to her at four in the morning. The moon was long gone and she was in no mortal danger. �I don�t know why, Remus. I�m so scared right now, I don�t know what�s going on!�

�Don�t be scared of me, Shaia. You were never scared of me.�

She only stared closely at him. �I�ve never met a-a werewolf before, Remus, much less fallen in love with one. Please tell me what happened tonight� tell me, if you knew it was a full moon, why did you even dare to meet me?�

�Before I answer any questions, please come over here. You�re scaring me.�

�How am I scaring you?� she retorted.

�I don�t want to lose you, Shaia, and the longer you stand over there, the more I�m sure it will happen. Just come over here and sit next to me,� he said as he outstretched his hand toward her.

Glancing at it warily, she reached her palm out and laid it in Remus�. He smiled gratefully at her and Shaia realized that at the gradual contact, she felt much better than she had a few seconds before. He led her slowly out from behind the couch and sat her down next to him. They were so close Shaia could feel his heart beating.

�I was going to tell you tonight. I�ve been like this as far back as I can remember. I was invited to come to Hogwarts when Professor Dumbledore made special arrangements for someone like me. Every month this happens. I go someplace where I can transform and no one will bother me.

�I also became friends with Sirius, James, and Peter, but kept my secret from them as long as I possibly could. However, they too became suspicious of what was going on. They confronted me about it. Lily found out a couple of years ago because she overheard us talking in the library,� he looked around cautiously and leaned forward slightly to whisper in her ear, �and you cannot tell a living soul this. Only you, me, Lily, James, Peter, and Sirius know about it.�

Shaia was slowly beginning to understand. She now knew why Lily had been acting so weird. Could that possibly be why she had warned her to stay away from him so long ago?

�You know what it takes to become an Animagi. You have to legally register and spend most of your time at Hogwarts successfully studying it for necessary precautions.� Shaia nodded absently. �Well, my friends wanted to keep me company in my wolf state, so the three of them illegally trained to become Animagi.�

Shaia couldn�t believe what she was hearing. She had and Lily had been friends ever since their first year at Hogwarts. How had she managed to miss all this information in the past six years?

�Sirius takes the form of a dog. James takes the shape of a stag, and Peter changes into a rat. When they are with me, I�m not nearly as dangerous as I usually am. We wander the grounds at night.�

Shaia sighed. �I really don�t understand any of this.�

�I know,� he said, staring at her. �I can�t imagine you would be following easily.�

�Well, that�s not what I�m confused about,� she told him. �Why did you want to meet me tonight if you knew it was a full moon?�

He stared into the lovely woman�s eyes, hoping to find some kind of peace that would allow him to speak freely. Her eyes were troubled as they stared at him. Hers were trying to find the reason why she was pushing away the man she loved so much.

�All I wanted was to tell you everything about me, and I had promised myself last month, that I was going to do it before the next full moon. Well I got nervous and kept putting it off. I was afraid you�d react?� he gulped, �?the way you just did.�

Shaia�s eyes filled with tears again.

�So I wanted to tell you tonight, before the transformation happened. It doesn�t work if there are clouds over the moon, and you know that. I made sure to check how it was going to be tonight. There was supposed to be a cloud cover up until midnight, but it happened an hour earlier than I had planned. I was going to tell you everything, why I disappeared for one night a month, why Lily acted like a complete idiot for one night� just everything.�

They found the silence and closeness relaxing for a few moments. Remus ran his fingers through Shaia�s hair without the vaguest clue of what they had just been through. All he knew was he was so close to Shaia that it was necessary for him to touch her hair in any way he possibly could.

Shaia found herself zoning out as well, only she was circling her fingers around Remus� hand, which was still clasped over hers.

�I feel better now that you know,� he confessed to her. �I just hope you don�t run?�

Shaia silenced him suddenly, placing a finger on his warm, tender lips. �I�m such a fool, Remus. I let my fears get the best of me. I was stupid enough to succumb to the emotions playing out in my heart. I was angry with you for deceiving me, I was upset at myself for falling again, and I was scared that something had happened to you� I don�t know. When it all comes down to it, none of it really matters. All it ever will be is you and I, here, right now, together. We love each other. I love you so much that it would be lying to my heart to say I was angry with you for nothing you have control over.�

Remus leaned over and placed his lips firmly on top of hers. After he broke the kiss, he wrapped his arms around Shaia�s petite frame and sobbed into her shoulder. All Shaia could do was squeeze him tight, run her fingers through his hair, and send out the message to him that she would always be there.