| She was awakened to her mom shaking her shoulder gently. �Blake called twice.�
�He did?� she asked, yawning. �Yeah, he�s worried about you. Is he taking you to your appointment tomorrow?� �Yeah,� Regan answered, sitting up. �Alright,� her mom whispered, staring at her. �The rash hasn�t gone away yet,� her mom commented, studying her closely. �No,� she said quietly, looking away. �I�ve been using that cream.� �I think it might be your job,� her mom told her. �I don�t know. But I love my job.� �Yeah, yeah, I know.� Her mom got up, kissed her forehead, and walked out of the room. Regan found herself lying in bed, thinking about Blake so much she fell asleep once again. The next time she woke up it was the next day at seven in the morning. Everyone was gone. Her mom was at work, her brothers were at either work or a friend�s. She had the whole house to herself yet no desire to get out of bed to lavish in it. She stretched her arms out and stared up at the ceiling for a while. It made no sense anymore, most of it didn�t anyway. Her life, that is. She wondered time and time again how after a nasty breakup with Evan and a world shattering event with Chase, that she could end up with someone as perfect as Blake. It didn�t seem to make sense. She loved it, but she always tried to figure it out. It was time again to write in her journal. Her journal was only pages away from being completely full. In a way it saddened Regan, but at the same time it excited her to see that she had the stamina to get all the way through it. Maybe later on she could go look for a new one, but right now she didn�t really care to. She picked up her pen, sat down, and opened up her journal. Wow. Only four more pages to fill up. I remember when I first ever saw this thing, I was shocked at how many pages there were. I always thought �I�ll never fill that up.� But look at this. I�ve only got a few more pages before I can chronicle this whole thing, lock it up, and put it away in my hope chest. How long is it going to be before I can find another one? I don�t think I am going to be able to find one just like it. For some reason, after a while you grow so attached to it and don�t even realize it when you close the book on the last page. Anyway, that wasn�t what I got up to write about. I wanted to talk about how much I love Blake and don�t deserve to be loved so wonderfully by him. I mean, it seems like after Evan and Chase, it seems like I�m some kind of prisoner. But when I met Blake, it was like it all went away. Like that. In an instant, my fears were gone. Of course I still had some of my past that I was hanging onto, but with some of Blake�s help, I managed to rid myself of all those old fears and now I love Blake more than ever. But now there is this thing with my health. It�s so weird. Every so often I�ll get so completely exhausted that I can barely walk, and then when I wake up, it seems like nothing happened. But after I work around a little bit, it all comes back again. I don�t understand it. And this other thing, like at my new job. I have to work out in the sun. No big deal, I usually get a little sweaty, but being out in the sun is something I normally enjoy. Well, not so much anymore. For some reason, I always sweat more than usual and get even more exhausted because of the sun. I figure it�s because I�m dehydrated. It seemed to help a little bit last time, but not enough. I�m glad in a way that I�m going to the doctor tomorrow. I�m still a little scared though. I know exactly what the rash is from, but I don�t want to tell Blake because he�ll worry. Knowing him, he�ll instantly think I�m dying and spend the night at my house trying to cure me. Not that I could complain about him spending the night, but I don�t want him to waste his life worrying about me so much. It�s not good for him. I�m a big girl; I can survive on my own. I love him to death and I will always love him. A lot. Regan set down her pencil once another wave of fatigue hit her. She settled herself into her bed and fell once again into a deep sleep. It was still the same day when she woke up, and this time she awoke to the phone ringing. �Hello?� she answered sleepily, half expecting it to be a telemarketer. �Hey cutie,� answered the all too familiar voice. She instantly smiled. �I love you.� He laughed, a little taken aback by her greeting. �I love you too.� �What are you doing?� she asked. �Thinking about you. How are you today? Other than tired?� �Same ol� same ol,� she said, sitting up in bed. �Liz gave me the day off tomorrow because I got so exhausted at work.� �Good,� he said. �I�m glad, plus I have to take you to your appointment.� �I know, I know,� she said. �Well honey I just want you to get better,� he said, sounding more pathetic than he ever had before. �I know,� Regan said, smiling coyly. �I just want you to make me better.� �I�d love nothing more,� Blake told her. She smiled a mile wide and sighed into the phone. �Oh I love you so much.� �I know.� �Oh really?� �Yep, I do. I know you love me because I love you.� �Where have you been hiding Blake?� �What do you mean?� he asked, chuckling. �How did I make so many mistakes and then end up with someone as perfect as you? Why couldn�t I have just met you first?� �Oh my darling, then you wouldn�t have been so grateful when you met me. I would have been just some creep you happened to find dead sexy,� he said with a conceited air. She snorted. �Who said I find you sexy?� �Uh!� he exclaimed in mock rebuttal. �I am sexy! I�m a sexy bitch.� �Oh,� she laughed, rolling her eyes. �That�s right. I forgot.� �You better not forget,� he instructed. �Don�t worry, I won�t,� she laughed. �I�m sorry. I love picking on ya.� �Yeah trust me I noticed.� �And what is that supposed to mean?� he demanded jokingly. �You know what it�s supposed to mean,� she told him. He scoffed on the other line, and they continued to talk and pick on each other until Blake told her he had to go and that he�d see her tomorrow. That and of course, he loved her. She sat up in bed, stretched out her arms, and decided to make good use of the rest of the day she had left. She decided not to write in her journal for a while (to prolong the last use of it) and went downstairs to get online. She talked to Maria and Piper for a while before feeling a wave of exhaustion hit her. Regan decided this time to try and overcome it, so she sat where she was and fight to keep awake. It almost got to the point where she was holding her eyes open, and in the next couple of minutes, she was asleep at the computer desk. She awoke to someone shaking her violently. She opened her eyes silently, looked around, and realized she was on the floor in her sunroom where the computer was. The computer desk however, was just above her. �What am I doing on the floor?� she asked groggily, wiping her eyes. �You fell over in your sleep. Hon, you need to stay in bed,� her mom told her worriedly. �Oh mom, I�m fine,� she brushed it off, standing up. Her mom gave her a concerned look and shook her head. �You�re not fine to me.� �Mom,� she said, taking on a stern tone. �I�ll be okay. I just need to find out what�s wrong with me, and I�ll find out tomorrow at the appointment.� �Go to bed.� �I�m going,� Regan said, and she walked upstairs, slid back under the covers, and fell asleep within a couple of minutes. Blake woke her up with a telephone call the next day at ten in the morning. �Out of bed sleepyhead,� he greeted. �Hello,� she answered, smiling in spite of her drowsiness. �Your appointment is in an hour, but I�m going to come by early to spend some time with you and make sure you�re all right,� he told her. She rolled her eyes. �Blake you care about me way too much.� �There�s no such thing as caring too much,� he pointed out. �Whatever,� she said between chuckles. �Okay, I�m going to head on over as soon as I hang up, so if you don�t want me to watch you change, you better get dressed right now.� �Why would I care? You�ve seen me naked,� she said playfully. �Regan, you�re much too tired to start getting me all worked up. I�d put you to sleep in a second.� She laughed at the top of her lungs and shook her head. �I love you.� �I love you too. Get dressed before I come over missy, and that�s an order.� �Yes sir,� she saluted the phone. �Okay, I am going to go now.� �Alright.� �Okay.� �Goodbye.� �Bye.� She put down the phone, got up, and took off her pajamas. She searched her room for something to wear and finally was able to get around for more than ten minutes without becoming fatigued again. She was completely dressed and almost back to her old self when Blake arrived. He made his way up to her room, and was amazed to find her sitting on her bed, reading. It was almost like she was alive and happy like she had been before she became so sick. �Hey there you,� he greeted, bending over to kiss her smoothly on the lips. �Hello to you too,� she put down her book as he wrapped his arms around her and made his way next to her on the bed. �I love you,� he whispered into her ear. �I love you.� They lay in bed for a couple more minutes, holding each other before Blake rolled over ever so slightly to look at the clock. �We�re going to be late to your appointment.� �Oh do we really have to go? I�d rather lay here and kiss you all day,� she said, planting a kiss on his cheek. �We can do that after your appointment,� he said, regretfully yanking himself away from her. �Oh okay,� she pouted. She stood up, put on her shoes, and followed Blake downstairs and out to his car. She got in the passenger side, watched Blake slip into the driver�s seat, and sighed heavily. �Oh come on it�s not going to be that bad,� he emphasized, trying to make her feel better. �Maybe it will be,� she muttered to herself. He glanced at her pensively. �What�s making you so nervous about this visit?� She shook her head and looked out the window. He patted her knee and it caused her to turn and face him. �Regan, tell me why you are getting so upset about this appointment.� �I�ll tell you afterward,� she said, looking down into her lap. �No,� he demanded. �Tell me now.� She looked up at him with tears in her eyes and he was shocked to see how obviously frightened and nervous she was about it. �It�s nothing and I�d prefer to tell you later.� He said nothing and nodded. They rode the rest of the way to the appointment in silence. Once they got there, Regan checked in, and Blake sat behind in the lobby waiting area nervous and concerned for her. Whatever she was afraid of hearing must have been something very big, because Regan normally wouldn�t have been this bent out of shape over a simple check-up. She sat down next to him and he took her hand, holding it protectively. After what seemed like an hour to Regan but in actuality was only ten minutes, the nurse called her name and Blake stood with her to go find out what was wrong with the woman that he loved. They walked into room four, sat down, and continued to hold hands. It was obvious to the nurse they were both scared, yet very much in love with each other. She wondered what was wrong with the girl, and why it was causing both of them to look so terrified. �Okay,� she said, flipping through her sheets. �Regan Stanbury. What are your symptoms Regan?� Regan sighed, and Blake gave her hand an encouraging squeeze. �Recently I�ve been very fatigued. I mean, I can barely walk around for ten minutes without becoming so tired I fall asleep right on the spot. I was at the computer the other night and I was exhausted to the point where I fell asleep right at the desk.� �Alright. Extreme fatigue,� said the nurse, making a note. �Anything else?� �Yeah,� she answered, gulping. �I�m having trouble being out in the sun. I�m usually alright staying out in the daylight for hours on end, but for some reason, I start getting heat exhaustion when I�m out there for more then five minutes. I thought it might have been dehydration, but I tried drinking water every time I got too hot, but it didn�t seem to work all too well.� �Okay,� the nurse commented, scratching hastily. �Anything else?� �Well, I have a severe rash on my face, but I�ve been taking cream to cure that.� The nurse looked up and studied Regan�s face for a second and then nodded. She did the normal procedure of checking her breathing, her mouth, her ears, and afterward, she left and promised the doctor would be back soon. Regan looked at Blake with pure fear in her brown eyes. �Oh baby, don�t look at me like that,� he begged, pulling her close to him. �Sh,� he whispered. �Please don�t cry,� he reassured her, rubbing her shoulder. In truth, he couldn�t help but squeeze a few tears out as well. He was scared for her, but he didn�t know why it had to be fear to this extent. It was just a check-up to find out why she had been so tired. Maybe it was a form of depression. Maybe it was mononucleosis. It could have been a number of things, and yet she was crying in fear for what the doctor would tell her. Soon after he had encouraged Regan to stop crying, the doctor walked in and smiled warmly at them. He opened his notes and read over all of her symptoms, questioned her about them all, and then did some tests of his own. He frowned in thought over her chart and requested she give a urine sample. Something dropped to the pit of her stomach as she stood up, walked away from Blake�s fingers reluctantly, and left the room. She returned a couple of minutes later, and it was obvious that she had spent most of her time in the bathroom crying. He wasn�t sure why it made such a difference to her, but he knew it had to have been a big deal. Several minutes later, the doctor came back in to give them the results of her tests. �Okay Regan,� he said, setting his stuff down and looking at her. �I�m not sure how to tell you this.� She closed her eyes tightly together and tried not to let any tears through. �Yes?� �We�re not sure what you have.� Her eyes flew open. �You�re not?� �No,� he said, tapping his foot a couple of times. �Your symptoms are very much like several other diseases, so what we�re going to have to do is try and rule out everything we can before we finally narrow it down to one specific illness.� She shook her head. �I�m not sure I understand.� �Well, persistent fatigue, heat exhaustion, and facial rashes can all be symptoms of various diseases, not one specific one. It�s not like cancer, where we can pinpoint exactly what kind you have. It�s very complicated. I�m afraid we�re going to have to do a number of tests on you before we understand your ailment.� She looked at Blake and back down at her hands. �I�m� uh�� �Yes?� he asked her. �I�m not pregnant?� she whispered. Blake�s face lost all color as the doctor smiled to himself and shook his head. �No. We didn�t conclude that from your urinalysis.� Regan felt a couple of new tears escape her eyes and she smiled for what seemed like the first time all day. �Alright.� �We�ll need you at the Central Hospital in a couple of days so you can undergo some tests.� �Alright, I can do that,� she said, sighing. �Could I make it this weekend?� �Of course,� he said, talked to her a little more about what she could do to relieve some of her fatigue, and she and Blake left. Blake stopped her halfway down the hall and looked her straight in the eye. �That is what you have been crying about all day?� She looked away and tried to walk past him. �What do you mean?� He stopped her. �Getting pregnant is what was worrying you? Why didn�t you just tell me?� She sighed and looked at his expectant blue eyes. �I was afraid if I told you I might be pregnant you�d freak out on me.� �Why would I do that?� he asked her, sounding a bit hurt. �I don�t know, I thought it might have happened. I didn�t want to tell you I might have been pregnant because I wasn�t sure how you�d handle it. I thought you wouldn�t have understood. I didn�t know what I was thinking. I was so scared I couldn�t even think straight. I can�t get pregnant now. Not with one year of school left. I have so many plans for my future, I don�t want to have a kid and have those plans botched.� He sighed, and realized she was right. He would have gotten scared too. Blake wrapped his arms around her as she cried and let her sob close to him for a couple of minutes. �I love you,� he whispered, and holding her still close, he led her to his car. They drove back to Regan�s and just as he had promised, they spent the rest of the day close to each other, wrapped up in one another�s arms, kissing, crying, and realizing that the day had been far too long for both of them. |
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