Chapter 2

Regan wandered into the house, threw her stuff on the couch, and shoved her shoes off by the front door. The day at home for her had just begun. She had so much to do there that she didn�t even want to think about it. She wanted to just go to sleep and wake up the next day, feeling renewed and maybe a little bit happier.

That possibility was far out of reach. First things first, she had to clean the kitchen and do a couple loads of laundry before she could leave for work at five. She worked at a clothing store in the mall, and her hours were respectably reasonable. During the week she worked five to nine, and on Saturdays she worked ten to three. Sundays were her off days, but if it ever got really busy she was called in. It rarely ever got too bad.

She was completely worn out from the day she had just had. It was no wonder either; she had done so much thinking that day that her mind was completely exhausted. She had thought more that day than she did that whole week. It was really starting to bug her.

Then she remembered the promise she had made to Chase to call him. She sighed heavily, not wanting to move from where she was comfortably sitting to pick up the phone. Knowing Chase, if she called any later than three, he�d end up calling her anyway. She didn�t feel like being on the phone all that long.

She quickly dialed his number to get the conversation over with. �Hello, is Chase there?�

�This is Chase,� he answered.

�Hey, bud, it�s me,� she said, making herself comfortable on the couch.

�Hey, Reag,� he answered simply. �What�s up?�

�Not a lot, just sitting around the house, waiting for four forty-five to roll around so I can leave,� she reported.

�Oh?� he asked with a laugh. �Why are we wanting to be out of the house all of a sudden?�

�Reasons,� she said.

�Ah, okay, so what was wrong at school today? Why was your day so horribly bad?� he asked.

She rolled her eyes. She knew that he�d get it out as quickly as possible so she�d have to answer as quickly as possible.

�Well, I have a lot on my mind,� she told him.

�What were you thinking about?� he asked, and she had known that it was coming. He wanted to know what was really going on with her lately. She had been snappy to him on the phone the other night. He was trying to explain something to her but she really didn�t pay attention and that wasn�t like her. Normally she always asked a million questions or laughed at just about everything that he said. She loved his jokes, and he knew that by now.

�Well, it�s a million different things,� she said, wanting to leave it at that. How was she going to tell him that she had a problem with him and how she felt about him? But she knew before she even said it what the answer was going to be to that statement.

�Tell me what the million different things are!� he pushed.

She rolled her eyes. �Chase, you are too much,� she said.

�Too much what?� he asked.

�Too much you,� she told him, not really sure what she meant.

�Oh okay,� he said, growing silent. She thanked Chase silently for not saying any more about the subject, and then he spoke again. �Come on, Regan, just tell me what the problem is!�

She could have smacked him. �I just have some things going on. My mind is really busy right now and I have a lot on my mind. It�s getting in the way of my schoolwork, it�s getting in the way of me spending time with my friends, and it�s getting in the way of me having to listen to you on the phone,� she raved.

This took them both aback. She couldn�t believe how honest she was being and how rude that sounded. There was something seriously wrong.

�What is wrong? Now you�ve got me listening. You don�t normally use a tone of voice like that,� he pointed out.

�I know, I know,� she said, rubbing her eyes. �I�ve also been really sick lately, I don�t know what it is. Probably the flu.�

�Most likely, it�s been going around,� he said. �Reag, you know I�m here for you. Don�t hesitate to call me whenever you need me. I�ll be over there in a flash.�

�I know you will,� she said, smiling now. Of course she knew she could count on Chase. He had always been there for her, through thick and thin. Then again, so had E�

�Sweetie,� Chase�s voice broke over just in time. She couldn�t believe his timing. �Don�t expect every problem you have to turn up okay like that. Things don�t just work out that way. You need to talk about it, get it off of your mind� and you know that I am here.�

�Of course I do, Chase,� she said sweetly. �And if I ever need you to be here, I�ll call you.�

�Good,� he said with a pleased sigh. �Do you want to tell me what�s been on your mind?�

All of a sudden, she started to laugh. It was just the thing she needed. The perfect closure to a confusing day.

After talking on the phone for a few more minutes, Chase and Regan hung up, definitely agreeing to meet at the Ice Arena on Friday for ice-skating. Regan was actually looking forward to it. She loved spending time with Chase. He was fun, he always made her laugh, and all he had to do was smile for her to be completely happy. She loved him.

This was the thought that confused her to all hell. She loved Chase, sure she did. She never felt anything more than affection for him. She loved having him around and she loved spending time with him, but she felt as though they would never be together in the end.

What were they really headed toward? What was their future together? She didn�t know and that was what confused her. Where her relationship with Chase was going, (if anywhere) and how she really and truly felt about him.

She decided to give up on it all together and go write. Writing was the only sanctuary Regan ever felt she truly had. Writing had been her only friend sometimes, and it never left her side. Through all the bad times, losing her one true love, losing some friends and then some, writing was the one thing that was true to her. Writing would never betray her like some things did.

This time, she vowed to write something worthwhile as she sat down and clicked the mouse a couple of times to get things going. Once she had pulled up her word processor, she sat and thought for a couple of seconds before letting it all go. She stuck her tongue out of the corner of her mouth, and with a maniacal glint in her eye, wrote and wrote and wrote until she had almost five pages of poem.

She sat back and read it, and couldn�t make any sense out of what she had just poured out. That was perfect; it was exactly what she had on the brain. Confusion and complete and utter chaos. If anyone else were to read this mess, they would not know what she was talking about. That didn�t seem to matter, because it was her poem, and her brain. It was her brain on these five sheets of virtual paper, and that was all that seemed to matter. She clicked �print,� and once she had the poem in her hands, she saved it, and decided to write another one.

This time she wanted to make more sense of it. She wanted to write a poem that some people could relate to. At the very second she was about to give up on an idea, it hit her. The exact thing to write about. The perfect thing to put into poem form.

Once she had done that, read it over, printed it out, and saved it, she got up from the computer desk and went to finish her daily work for that evening. Enough writing had been done, enough thinking had been done, and now she had to get some actual work done. Besides, it wasn�t like the right guy was just a block away from her. Regan knew she had a long way to go before she met the one.