"Now, look here, I am your softball coach, and I don't care if it is the latest thing in Paris, you are not playing left field till your hair is in a proper ponytail.  Or shave it off, see if I care.  Oh, quit crying, come on."
Okay, so I kinda like this one.
Contrast of red and black = good.

Macrame' = bad.
This reminds of when I was a kid going on church hayrides.  That having been said, your hairdo should never be reminiscent of hay bales.
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