SPLTNEMBG Site News - El Macho Tracking Device
-17th, July. Silicon Valley, California.
Today, in someone else's garage, hack pseudo-scientist Rob "Evil un-American, Irish Commie Punk" Gay announced that he had made a breakthrough in El Macho tracking technology.
"Today," Rob said, "we have made a breakthrough. Actually, this didn't occur today. It occured in 1951, and I am just claiming that I invented this item in this garage."
In reality, he may be right. However, this is still a newsworthy item. Because the El Macho's tiny brain must work excedingly hard to produce even one iota of energy, the three brain cells oscilate on a frequency that can be pick up on this Du Mont Labs Oscilliscope, which was actually based on a radio stolen from a German U-boat.
Click above for another view
In any case, the closer the El Macho, the larger the waves will appear on the deadly "cathode ray tube". The theory behind this is to track to El Macho until it is within close range (1-3 feet), and turn the Oscilliscope to full power, thereby killing the El Macho with a bombardment of dangerous X-rays.
However, some technical problems are still faced by the design team. "Well," said Rob, "it's going to be hard to bring this thing out into the field when it needs to remain plugged into a wall, and there is no concievable way to get around this. However, once ew ignore this problem, I'm sure we'll have this out in operational capacity by 3146-973246!"
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