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| The Story I think I have very bad even years. As I commented to my University friend Ros, it's lucky that I have taken my exams in odd years, or I doubt I'd be where I am now. Since this year is 2000, not good. But 1998 was probably worse. One of my close friends took her own life. I was in Germany on an exchange trip with 2 other close friends. She jumped in front of a train. We couldn't believe it. Perhaps it was my fault for not noticing anything, but I think nothing would have made any difference. It was a determined suicide, not a cry for help. She must have felt beyond help. I cannot know. No-one can see into another person's mind. She wanted to hide everything from us. The day it happened, she sent an e-mail with a joke to everyone. A very funny joke, but then she had an amazing sense of humour. I was at the inquest, I have kept the newpaper cuttings. I keep e-mails she wrote, a few letters and postcards that I have. Anything and everything. But I think I have been able to let go now. She would now be 20, but she will be eternally 17 to me. Her name was Helen. |
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