PezOrgy: i have a techno club in my head
Marpesssa: really? must be nice.
PezOrgy: it is, but there is this constant thumping and destiny's child
keeps skippping out on thier tab
Marpesssa: *laughing* hey! i like destiny's child.
PezOrgy: me too, but those independant women think alcohol is free
Marpesssa: *laughing*
This SST is The Issue with all the Answers. The statement above is the
answer to my mentality. I know you all have been asking what the hell is
wrong with Tom's head, and now you know. This issue I promise to answer all
the world's most mysterious questions, including the real story of how Bush
won the election. Ok, I know everyone is impatient on reading the answer to
life, so I'll get started with a little DEAR PEZORGY.
Dear tom,
Chic flicks are given that name because they are for women of corse,
so if pig headed retards decide to take out the attractive male movie stars
from these movies then there will be nothing left for us girls to drool over
in the movie theater's. You can't take this away because then movie theaters
will loose alot of money. Let's face it girls to go to movies to
actually see the movie they want to dool over the actor's, and go home and
then masturbate to their names. I just thought i would share with you my
little speal on this topic so have a wonderful day. :)
Well you seem to be in the need of guidance young grasshopper. First,
Chick flicks are pointless, even for you to masturbate to. Second, men are
not tools (NO Beth, they are not) and shouldn't be used as toys in your mad
puppet shows you call movies.
You haven't even seen "What Women Want" and don't
even cut on Mel, he is an incredibly talented
actor/director who made some of the best movies i have
ever seen. Cut on the president all you want, as far
as i am concerned, both candidates were complete
morons. Ok, just wanted to get my two cents in=0).
later babe, Nikki
Cut on the president? Nah, that's a little out of my leauge. But you can
have your two cents back because I'm not interested in how Mel Gibson is blah
blah blah, in fact i was thinking of deleating that part of your letter so
the seven people who read this newsletter won't die of stupidity. I can't
afford to lose any readers.
i smell revolution! first mel gibson ,then the world!!! but could you
really complain about the presidential election? they both suck, and if gore
had won, i am sure he would have been killed. not that i dont assume that
bush will not either. the only real choice in the election is make your own
political satire here. you want to know the real winners of this election?
Saturday night live!! look at the material they have to work with now!!! it
is gonna be a funny four years, you know if you can stand the idiocy.
SNL does make out on the election. But I still think Gore would have made
a better parody. Especially since he was a closet homosexual.
Dear Pezorgy...Why do things in life suck so bad? Why is the government
so stupid and cheats people out of everything? Can't we get rid of the IRS?
Why can't all men last long in sex? And who the hell stole the rainbow lucky
Charms? thank you.
Why do things in life suck so bad? Well It all has to do with sucktion,
vaccuums were named after a very shitty president (and we have had so few of
those to pick from....). If Hoovers were named after Stalin, things in life
would suck a lot better. Why is the government stupid and cheat people out of
everything? Because they are white, and white people cheat everyone out of
everything. Just take the whole "income tax" thing. It was an amendment that
was never passed by any of the states, yet the government just passed it
anyways. Technically passing an amendment without states ratifying it is
illegal, but when the government writes it's own rules, it can pretty much do
whatever it wants, including picking a president out of a hat (or trailer
park for that matter). Can't we get rid of the IRS? No, but we finally got
rid of IRIS, that god damn GOO GOO Dolls song, so don't push your luck. Why
can't all men last long in sex? Well all men are not created equal. And who
stole the lucky charms? I think I'll have to go with the Kebler Elves,
because the food industry has only so much room for shorties. If any of you
guys need even more answers that PezOrgy has not provided for you, check this
out......
appartently there is a show about a ghetto preist that is supposed tro be
real. unfortunatly you have to watch channel 45 (which is a religous
channel) and at four in the morning --XRain
There is one last question i think deserves an answer here and now. Just
how did George W. Bush win the election? I hope this dialouge explains
everything you need to know about the history of the world, and the mysteries
of polotics.
*thwpid* *thwup* *thwpid* *thwup*
D: God, what happened to us?
G : Well, the humans call it the chaos theory, I fear, that everything ends
in chaos.
D: Well I call it the Elizabeth Taylor theory
G: Ha Ha Ha, you little Devil you!
D: This laughter.....all it seems we do is fight now, we never used to fight
before.
G: Oh Paleeze, remember 1985?
D: A.D or B. C.?
G: A. D., we broke up over the whole George Micheal fight
D: Yeah, we broke up for like a week, and you were dead set on him being
straight!
G: Yeah, then that thursday we argueed about it all night over hot tea. You
were so wrong, the short shorts, hot pink shirt...
D + G : and the yellow gloves!!!!!!!!!. Ha Ha Ha
D: wham!
G: Ha Ha Ha silly.
D : God, I have a confession to make, ...but shouldn't I be in a booth for
this?
G: No, but you can get down on your knees.
D: Oh, you rotten thing you!!
G: The confession...?
D: Well...it's about George Micheal
G: You didn't!?
D: I did.... We were broken up at the time.....I wanted to prove my theory
right
G: Oh that makes it so much better
D: Well wat about Ricky Martin?
G: I told you never to bring that name up again!
D: Look at what is happening, we came into this car in the mad rain just to
talk, and we started fighting again. Are we breaking up?
G: Remeber that Mardi Gras you dressed in drag as the Virgin Mary, and you
convinced all those mexican children that they were recieving a vision?
D: There you go changing the subject again.......where did we go wrong??
G: I think it was last election.
D: What a pain in the ass that was.
G: ....Well you just handed it over to Bush. Why the hell did you pick him?
D: Well about that......
G: you didn't?
D: I did.
D + G : Ha Ha Ha Ha
*thwipd* *thwup* *thwipd* *thwup*