Chapter One: Help?

 
      The struggle was brief, but fought valiantly by both participants. And in the end, the winner did only what was expected – immediately plant himself in front of the television while the loser stormed off to her room, alternating between muttering threats of doom under her breath and shouting them out loud.
 
    Dib shuddered at one of Gaz’s most vicious to date, wondering what he had done to deserve such a weird sister. Then he ignored her and turned up the volume, allowing the opening music of Mysterious Mysteries to overwhelm the other household noises. He watched intently, wondering and hoping that his most recent letter about Zim – a particularly worthy effort, he thought – would be given airtime.
 
***
 
      Dib sighed as the ending credits began to roll across the screen and turned off the television with a small twinge of disgust. The show had definitely gone downhill in the last decade, he thought critically, fondly remembering the episodes from its early days. Then, they had focused on real threats – but now, the entire show seemed to be run by that stupid ‘paranormal investigator’ who he had spent career day with that one year, who was more interested in prosecuting a cereal mascot rather than the alien right in front of his eyes…
 
      Zim.
 
      Dib was still frustrated about his inability to capture or even reveal the alien who had invaded his school so many years ago. Zim had disappeared sometime after they started middle school, much to Dib’s chagrin. True, it seemed that the earth was safe – at least, Zim obviously hadn’t conquered it yet – but it hadn’t been through any effort of his own that Dib could see. So there was no sort of recognition for him, because the world had never seen its threat, no matter how many times the he had tried to tell them.
 
      He dismissed the thoughts – they were entirely too familiar, and no doubt sparked by the old television program that he was watching out of sheer boredom. Saving the world is all well and good but it’s not much of a consolation that you’re an outcast for the rest of your life… and I thought there was room for *everyone* in college…
 
      Suddenly there was a knock on his door. The only person Dib could think of who would be visiting him was Gaz; but why would she come over at all, much less at this hour?
 
      He opened the door anyway. On the other side was a man, about his age, a little shorter than him, with huge blue-irised eyes and black hair gelled up into short three short spikes that angled over his forehead like bizaree bangs. Dib barely had time to register this description, however, before he was shoved out of the doorway roughly and the stranger had entered the room and locked the door behind him. Dib was frightened for a moment before he realized that the stranger took no actions other than to lean against the door and take great huge gasps of air to catch his breath. He looked frazzled, Dib noticed now. As if someone was chasing him.
 
      Since he made no move to speak, Dib took the initiative. “What do you want?”
 
      “The last time I asked you for help,” the answer came, in a preemptive and startlingly familiar voice, “You refused me, but I managed to save this planet anyway. This time – it’s not so simple.”
 
      Dib’s eyes widened. “Zim?” he croaked with some difficulty, seeing as how his lungs seemed suddenly devoid of air. He took a deep breath, which helped some. “I – I figured you had gone back home…” Through his surprise, the analytical portion of his brain was still running, noting that the alien’s disguise had improved, changing the skin color to a more human shade - although still with distinct green undertones - but the lack of ears was still glaring.
 
      Zim laughed briefly, not the maniacal or cruel laughter that Dib remembered, but just a humorless chuckle. “I could never go back to the Irken Empire. The Tallests declared me a fugitive six years ago.” He gave Dib a shrewd look, obviously knowing quite well what he was saying.
 
      Dib blinked. So much time wasted trying to pry that very information from the alien, and now he just said it glibly… “A fugitive?” Six years ago – that’s about when he disappeared. Irken Empire? And they’re ruled by the tallest? Whatever that means… He sank a little when he remembered his previous success… but with him here, maybe…
 
      Zim looked angry at the question. “I was deemed a threat to the Irken Empire,” he explained, scowling, and placing sarcastic emphasis on the words ‘threat’ and ‘Empire’. “For my so-called incompetence. Namely, GIR sent them a letter bomb.”
 
      “That stupid dog-robot of yours? So you’ve been in hiding from your own people for all this time?” A plan started to form in Dib’s mind.
 
      Zim just shook his head. “Not hiding, banished. But don’t think about using this to your advantage, because now they’ve remembered earth… if they ever forgot it. They seem to know how much I know of earth culture, and they want to implant that knowledge into the minds of dozens of newborn Irkens, let them mature, then rampage Earth… a little more drastic than their usual plans, but apparently Earth has proven to be particularly difficult. Anyway,” he continued, finally taking a breath, “all that aside, are you willing to help me yet?”
 
      The new information, so sudden and unexpected, swirled around in Dib’s brain and made its organization into something of a mess. *Dozens* of invaders? The only thing he could manage to say was, “How am I supposed to protect you from your own people?”
 
      Zim looked at him as if he were once again revising his estimate of average human intelligence downward. “Isn’t it obvious? You have to help me stop them!”
 
      Dib looked disbelieving. “That’s obvious? And why are you running from them, anyway? How can I trust you?”
 
      The Irken shuddered. “Do you have any idea *how* the Irken army extracts memory from a soldier?” Dib shook his head. “Let’s just say it makes the human idea of dissection look humane…” Dib was silent. Zim sighed in exasperation. “If they find me here with you they’ll arrest you too, have no doubt of that…”
 
      Dib snapped out of it. “I still don’t trust you, Zim… but I’ll help you, on the condition that you tell me *everything*…”
 
      Zim hesitated, then nodded. “Whatever! Just hurry, they’ll be here any minute!”
 
      Dib opened up his closet door and began tossing things out of it without any regard to where the objects were landing. Once the floor was cleared he pulled up a corner of the pale blue carpeting, peeling it off easily. A section of the floor below hinged upward, creating a gap just large enough for a relatively small person to fit though into a dark passage underneath. “Take a left at the first intersection and a right at the second. The password is… waterballoon.”
 
      Zim jumped down the secret passage without a backward glance, committing the password to memory. He only hoped that his old rival had properly shielded whatever it was he was hiding down there…
 
***
 
      Once Zim had disappeared down the tunnel, Dib quickly recovered the trapdoor. And a good thing too… because there was another knock on the door. A very insistent one. Dib gulped, and answered it.
 
***
 
~Mordain

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