With a loud bang and a flash of blue, green, and white pyro, the EWI Collision is on the air. The Collision theme song, Creed's "Bullets", blares over the loudspaker as the arena is packed with several thousand rabid wrestling fans, waving signs and banners and cheering as loud as they can throughout the impressive opening display. As the noise dies down and the smoke begins to clear, the faces of play-by-play announcer Blake Underwood and color commentator Adam Kogler, his forehead bandaged from his match last week, who are at ringside to call the night's action, appears on the video screen and televisions across the continent.
Underwood: We are live, we are Elite Wrestling International, and we are about to see a Collision! Hello again everybody I'm Blake Underwood alongside Adam Kogler, and tonight we have a great show lined up for you. We're a little under two weeks away from Destiny, and we hope to answer a number of questions for you tonight as we head into that huge pay per view event. The talk of everyone in EWI over the past couple of weeks has been this bizarre character Teddy Terror. The videos we've seen of this man have been unusual to say the least, and tonight he sees action in an EWI ring for the very first time against Pitch Black in a hardcore match. We'll also see one of these, well, I guess you can only call them Fairies in singles competition against Punisher. Hopefully by the end of the night we'll have some answers as to who these men are and what their agenda is here in Elite Wrestling International. Also later on in our main event we'll see the 42-year-old rookie Mikhail Androsovich taking on his biggest challenge to date in EWI, the reigning, and I might add rightful, universal champion, Heavy D. Can this man, who has been receiving great reviews since arriving in EWI, hold up against such strong opposition this early in his professional career? And also tonight, in our opening match, we'll get a look at...
Kogler: That's right, we're kicking things off with a glimpse of the mighty Universal Champion, Rukuss! Watch what he does to this little pipsqueak Ronin, it's just a sample of what Heavy D's going to get in ten days!
Underwood: That remains to be seen, Adam. If you recall, Rukuss looked a little less than impressive in his first match under your tutelege last week against Seta Soujiro. He's going to have to pick it up if he's going to have any luck against Ronin this week, never mind what he's going to have to face at Destiny when he meets Heavy D. Is the big man up to the task? We're about to find out, as we kick things off here at Collision!
Ronin
with Kachiko
~VS.~
Rukuss
*****
Makavelli's "Bomb First" blasted over the loudspeakers, signalling the entrance of Rukuss. The massive man made his way down to the ring amid a chorous of boos, wearing the stolen niversal championship. Arriving at the ring, Rukuss simply stepped over the top rope and waited on his opponent. Just then, "Resurrection" by Moist began to play, as the crowd shot to its feet in anticipation. The stage became wreathed in white flame, and out of the smoke and fire walked Ronin. Ronin made his way down the aisle, slapping hands with the fans, and speeding up along the way. By the time he hit the ring he was in a full sprint, sliding under the ropes and going after Rukuss. The big man attempted a clothesline, but Ronin ducked and athletically stopped in his tracks. As Rukuss turned around, he was met with a chop to the throat. Several more knife-edge chops from Ronin backed Rukuss into the corner, and Ronin signalled the crowd before whipping Rukuss into the opposite corner. Ronin attempted to follow in with a Dragonfly splash, but Rukuss caught the smaller man in mid-air and simply threw him out into the middle of the ring. Ronin got up quickly and charged after Rukuss, but the big man was ready and delivered a hip toss that sent Ronin over the top rope and out to the floor. Rukuss stepped over the top rope and followed Ronin out. Before picking Ronin up, however, Rukuss motioned with digust at the crowd. He then picked Ronin up, and attempted to send him into the corner. The delay Rukuss took in taunting the crowd, however, gave Ronin the time he need to reverse things and send Rukuss hard into the steel steps, knees-first. As Rukuss got to his knees in an attempt to get up, Ronin delivered a running dropkick to the big man's face. He then picked Rukuss up and rolled him under the bottom rope and back into the ring. From there, he picked Rukuss up and grabbed his head, using the ropes to deliver a springboard bulldog back into the middle of the ring. Ronin then went for the pin but only got a two count. Ronin again picked Rukuss up, but the big man fought back with a flurry of punches that backed Ronin into the ropes. Rukuss then sent Ronin into the opposite ropes with an Irish whip, and caught the smaller man with a clothesline. Feeling confident, Rukuss picked up and sent Ronin into the ropes once more, attempting to hit a big boot, but Ronin ducked it and quickly nailed a chop block into the back of Rukuss' knee, sending the big man down hard, clutching his badly-weakened knee. Ronin quickly applied the Scorpion Deathlock. In the middle of the ring and in too much pain to work towards the ropes, Rukuss quickly and vigorously tapped out, awarding the match to Ronin.
Underwood: What's going on here, Adam? This is the man you claim is the rightful universal champion? This is two weeks in a row that Rukuss has seemed a little less than impressive. How is he going to be ready to face...
Kogler: Zip it Underwood, I'm getting something in my headset. ....Yeah?
....All right. Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to put your minds at ease - the
preceding match was in fact a non-title match. Don't you worry, Rukuss will
be at the top of his game once it comes time to fight with the Universal
Title on the line!
Underwood: Non-title match....you're unbelievable, you know that Adam? Just who do you think you're fooling? All I can say is that Rukuss had better be at the top of his game come Destiny, because then the universal title will be on the line, and Heavy D is going to be coming with everything he's got. Frankly, from what I've seen, I don't think your man is up to it. Coming up next will be our first look at the mysterious, well, they're calling themselves The Fairy Tale People. A man going by the name Super Cupid, clearly not the same individual who used that name in the old MMP, is scheduled to take on Punisher in singles competition. Folks, your guess at this one is as good as mine. Let's just send it back to the ring and see what's in store...I don't know...
Punisher
~VS.~
"Super Cupid"
*****
With Punisher already waiting in the ring, the lights in the arena went out. Rose petals and silver sparkles started to fall from the ceiling, and "Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairies" played over the speakers. Three out of shape men dressed in short pink skirts and tight white t-shirts made their way down the aisle, their heads covered in yellow happy face masks with long blond hair attachments on the back. The taller of the three men stumbled into the ring and rushed Punisher with a very weak clothesline, but Punisher simply shrugged it off and nailed his opponent with a clothesline of his own. After delivering several kicks to his adversary's ribcage, Punisher pulled the masked man up and tossed him through the ropes to the floor, causing the other two Fairies to swarm around their fallen friend. After a brief conference, the heaviest of the three Fairies tried to get in the ring, but the referee quickly stopped him, telling him that it was obvious he wasn't the man who was supposed to be in the match. The other two circled the ring and rolled in the other side, and while the ref's back was still turned they joined hands and charged Punisher with a double clothesline from behind. Punisher barely felt the attack and quickly turned, using a pair of right hands to knock the two men down. He then went for a pin on the other man, but the referee was still occupied with the overweight Fairy trying to get in the ring. This allowed the third man to hurry to the outside and grab a steel chair. He slid back into the ring and raised the chair high above Punisher, but was only able to connect with a weak blow across the back. Punisher remained barely phased by the attacks from the masked men, got to his feet, and snatched the chair away from the Fairy. As Punisher stalked this most recent attacker with the chair, a fourth masked man came out from under the right with another chair in hand. He shot up into the ring and delivered a devastating blow across the back of Punisher, knocking the biker from Guelph to the canvas. The fourth fairy, a normal sized individual with no discernable features, then pulled "Super Cupid", the legal man, over on top of Punisher just as the overweight Fairy finally collapsed to the floor from exhaustion after his strenuous efforts trying to get in the ring. The ref turned, saw "Cupid" making a cover, and counted Punisher down for the three count. "Super Cupid" slowly rolled out of the ring and collapsed in a heap on the floor as the music started to play again. When the Fairies finally started to make their way to the back, the video screen went all black, except for a pair of green eyes staring out from the middle. Chilling laughter echoed through the arena until the Fairies reached backstage.
Kogler: How this kind of BS makes it to television is beyond me. I strongly
advise Punisher to hang them up immediately just for being involved with that, let alone losing! And if that wasn't the cream of the crap, don't we have ... Teddy Terror coming up next?
Underwood: Indeed, Teddy Terror and Pitch Black's hardcore match is due up next, but I'm still trying to figure out exactly what it is that we just saw. That fourth man was built much better than his three counterparts, but...I'm speechless Adam, I don't have a clue what to make of this. Perhaps Teddy Terror's match will shed some light on the subject. It's next.
HARDCORE MATCH
Teddy Terror
~VS.~
Pitch Black
*****
Sparkles again fell from the ceiling, this time accompanied by the sounds of "Teddy Bear's Picnic" as the masked man known as Teddy Terror made his way down to the ring. Carrying a black fuzzy object dressed up as a leprechaun, Teddy swatted and growled at the fans as he made his way towards the ring, and once between the ropes he started to paw savagely at the canvas. The lights then abruptly went out, and Metallica's "My Friend of Misery" began to play. Once the song reached the main riff, the lights came back on, revealing Blinding Light at the announce position and Pitch Black, poised with his electric guitar, standing on the top turnbuckle. Teddy, though, seemed to anticipate Pitch's surprise appearance, and before Pitch could attack from the top rope, Teddy charged the corner and hit Pitch, causing him to fall all the way to the concrete floor below. Teddy quickly climbed the turnbuckle as the ref waved frantically for the bell to begin the match, and as Pitch stumbled to his feet Teddy Terror lept off the top with a flying bodypress, taking Pitch right back down. He tossed Pitch Black into the ring and right away started slamming the Irishman head first into the canvas. After about a half dozen blows Teddy got to his feet and started wandering around the ring, growling and swatting randomly at the air. While Teddy was distracted by his own thoughts, Blinding Light tossed an aluminum hockey stick into the ring from the outside, giving Pitch Black the equalizer he needed. When Teddy turned back to his opponent he was with a vicious shot across the face with a hockey stick, followed by shots to the knees and ribs as Pitch got to his feet. A headbutt sent Teddy back into the ropes, and after getting a running start Pitch nailed Teddy with a clothesline with the hockey stick, sending the masked man over the top rope to the floor. Pitch motioned for the crowd to get fired up and they responded, cheering louder and louder while Teddy struggled to his feet on the outside. Pitch backed away slowly, and once Teddy was up he ran off the far side ropes, gaining momentum before propelling himself through the ropes with a suicide dive that sent Teddy back into the steel safety rail.. Teddy fell to the floor once again but Pitch stayed right on him, pulling him up by the fur on his mask and dragging him over to the announce table. After a couple more shots the three original masked Fairies appeared in the runway, on their way towards the ring. Before they made it very far, though, Blinding Light got up from his seat at the announce position, hopped over the table, and chased the three men back to the dressing room. With Teddy's allies' attempted interference thwarted Pitch looked to have control of the match, but all that changed when the fourth normal-sized Fairy emerged from the crowd. He reached into the ring, grabbed Pitch's aluminum hockey stick, and cracked Pitch across the back with it, causing the Irishman to collapse to the floor. Just then, a platform began to lower from the ceiling with a spotlight shining down upon it. Standing on this platform was a man standing approximately six feet tall and wearing black boots and gloves, a trench coat, and a long rainbow-coloured wig. He wore a black leather mask over his mouth and nose, and goggles that shined a bright green over his eyes. The man raised his hand and pointed back to the dressing room, signalling the Fairy to leave the ringside area, which he obediently did. Only moments after the Fairy vanished, someone passed through the curtain. It was newcomer Daron Manners, and he was sprinting to the ring with a steel chair in hand. By this time Teddy Terror was getting to his feet out on the floor near the announce table, but that didn't last for long. When Manners got to ringside he set the chair up and used it as a springboard into a huracanrana, which took Teddy Terror over and dropped him down hard across the open steel chair! Manners then backed away and looked back and forth between the fans in the front row and the two men in the match - Teddy Terror, on the ground clutching his back, and Pitch Black, who was struggling to his feet. Once Pitch Black was up Manners charged forward and nailed him with a spear, slamming him back-first into the announce table! He then hurried away, leaving Teddy Terror and Pitch Black to pull themselves together. Pitch was to his feet first and, seeing that Teddy was getting up as well, snatched a cold beverage away from a fan in the front row. Once Teddy was up and facing Pitch, the Irishman tossed the drink into his opponent's face, blinding him temporarily and allowing Pitch to grab him by the mask and slam him face first into the concrete floor! Having controlled much of the latter part of the match, Pitch Black sensed that victory was at hand. He rolled Teddy Terror back into the ring and hoisted him up onto the top turnbuckle before going back outside the ring to get a table. The fans errupted at the sight of the table and started to chant in anticipation of what was about to happen. As Pitch shoved the table into the ring, the man on the hovering platform tossed a small pellet down into the centre of the ring, and as it hit it exploded into a cloud of white dust. Pitch backed away from the ring, looking hesitantly up into the cloud of dust, straining to see his opponent who remained immobile on the top turnbuckle. After a few moments had passed Pitch re-entered the ring and set up the table, and after delivering a couple of shots to his opponent to keep him dazed, he climbed to the top turnbuckle along with him. He hooked Teddy in a front facelock and prepared to lift him in a suplex, but Teddy quickly countered and spun Pitch around, connecting with a DDT off the top rope and through the table! The crowd let out a gasp at the incredible move, and Teddy flopped over on top of his opponent. The ref got down and counted three, giving the win to the mysterious Teddy Terror. As the bell sounded the normal-sized Fairy made his way back to the ring to help Teddy Terror to his feet, and the ominous platform raised back to the ceiling.
Underwood: Well, I must admit, at the start of the show I thought we would have some answers, but instead all we have are more questions. A new Fairy Tale Man, now this weirdo in the rainbow wig and trenchcoat....I've never seen anything like it in my life. A big win for Teddy Terror, suggesting that there is at least some legitimacy to this group, although I have to say I think Pitch Black got hosed on that one. He controlled a good part of the match, and if not for that odd white explosion, I think he could have pulled it off.
Kogler: Not that I had much to begin with, but any and all respect I had for
Pitch Black just went down the crapper. Let's just get D and The Doc out here
for something resembling an actual match, before you get up there in the ring
in a clown suit and start juggling microphones!
Underwood: There's no chance of that happening, I can promise you. I'd say we've seen enough bizarre occurrences already here tonight that we certainly don't need anything like that. Besides, isn't turning this show into a circus your job? It's main event time here at Collision!
EWI Universal Champion
Heavy D
~VS.~
Mikhail Androsovich
with Raisa Pavlova
*****
The match began with the arena going completely dark. "Dies Irae" and a
single spotlight led Raisa to the ring in a flowing white gown. She soon
paused and pointed toward the ring, as the house lights returned to reveal
Mikhail Androsovich leaning against the far ropes; he smiled at Raisa, who
walked over to the announcer's table to have a seat. After another spell of
darkness, "Trina Moe" and a slew of flashbulbs welcomed the real universal
champion into the arena. Heavy D stood at the foot of the entranceway as his
blue and red fireworks exploded, then walked down the aisle toward the ring.
As D stepped over the top rope, he was immediately rushed by Mikhail, who
grabbed D's wrist and whipped him into the ropes. The larger Heavy D held on,
then reversed the whip into an armbar, followed by a headlock. Mikhail
managed to push D into the ropes, then floored him with a spinning heel kick.
As Heavy D got to his feet, Mikhail attempted to keep his distance, but D
closed in, which prompted Androsovich to deliver a quick axehandle smash to
Heavy D's chest to catch him off guard. Mikhail hit a spinning Mongolian
chop, then continued the spin as he drove an elbow into the cniversal
champion's face. The doctor spun into another move, but before it could be
executed, Heavy D caught Androsovich by the throat, lifted him up, and
planted him with a chokeslam. Heavy D allowed Mikhail to get to his feet,
then whipped him into the ropes and caught him with the Gangsta Ride
powerslam. The crowd began to boo at this point, but because the massive
Rukuss began to slowly tread to the ring, the stolen universal title strapped
around his waist. He and Heavy D exchanged some words, but Heavy D turned his
attention back to Androsovich, blasting him with a series of jabs. As Heavy D
began to wind up for the Ghetto Punch however, Rukuss hopped up on the apron.
D threw the Ghetto Punch at Rukuss, who quickly dropped back down to the
floor. Seizing the opportunity, Mikhail threw a spinning back fist into Heavy
D's head, then used all his might to take D over with a side suplex. He
quickly rolled D onto his stomach and hooked his elbows behind his back. He
locked in a figure four to cut off Heavy D's air and incapacitate his legs. D
tried his best to escape, but Androsovich arched back, bending Heavy D into a
Great Bow. The air quickly seeped from Heavy D's lungs as a result of the
unorthodox hold, eventually causing the referee to ring the bell and award
the match to Androsovich by submission. Mikhail emotionlessly released the
hold and left the ring to meet Raisa, as the two walked to the back. As the
doctor left, Rukuss entered. He stared down as Heavy D slowly climbed to his
feet, but as soon as D sensed his presence, he shot up and stared up into the
eyes of his larger adversary. As the two men sized each other up, officials
rushed the ring to separate the two, depriving the fans of a pre-Destiny
showdown between the former teammates as the scene fades to black.
