The Story of Me
The Story of Me
[Introduction Page] [Personal Profile] [Photo Gallery] [Story Of Me] [Mail Me] [Links]
I thought that I can move on without her in my life. I thought that my life
wouldn't be affected. I thought that I'll be standing tall & strong. But I
was wrong... I have to admit that I can't forget about her, neither can I move
on without her. Yap, she's Bella. I thought
that after breaking up with her is a new step that I had to take. Instead, I
found myself still standing at the same spot that I had stop, refusing to move
ahead. 
Although time won't allow me to stop it from ticking, I still feels that I'm stuck in that particular time dimension. I'm so afraid to go anywhere, cause her image is everywhere. Even my home. Nothing seems not related to her. I'm struggling everyday to put on a simple smile on my face. It's hard during the day, but it's even harder in the night. I often have headaches when memories of us keep appearing in my head. I'll have a bigger headache when I try to push these memories out of my head. It's painful enough already, yet she thinks that it wasn't enough for me...
I don't know how can Bella get over me in such a short time, cause soon after our breakup, about two months or so later, Bella soon find herself a new boyfriend. His name is John. He is introduced to her thru a friend. He's actually working just next to her. According to Bella, he's like me. That's why he attracted her. No only that we both look alike, our character also seems to be the same. Style, what can I say~? I look like a beng, and he's one. Thus I think we don't need to go into that... What Bella told me is that, he is also the joker among a crowd. With him around in a group, there wouldn't be lack of laughter. He's also a man of his words, someone who'll always keep his promise. He too expects people to live up to theirs.
Bella
liked to compare John and me
whenever we talk... She'll say how much better he is than me. Like the kinda
freedom he'll give her. Oh, not forgetting the kinda quarrel they had. She'll
say how he'll talk things out with her in a peaceful manner, even though it was
her who piss him off. She'll say that the way she & I quarrel is in a fierce
& heated manner, which brings us nowhere most of the time. Come on, they go
steady for a while only yet they started to quarrel already, why didn't she
compare that we only start to have slight disagreements after 9 months. 
It seems like she's trying very hard to get my attention on that. Well, it did~!
I can tell you, the feeling really sucks. I still have strong feelings for her
after all, it's just that we can't be together. Although I thought that I can
move on in life, till Dorene's case
happened.
You know what, John is not the only person trying to woo Bella after our breakup. There're a lot more others. Guess why John stands to win other than he's like me~? Because of the special feelings she had. What special feelings, you may ask. Bella said she feels shy when she's with him. Especially when they took their 1st photo together. *DuHzZz* What is she trying to say~?
Their 1st Photo... She Got Shy Mehz . . . ?
One of the BIGGEST hurt Bella could
gave me was letting John answered the call
that I made to her. 
I was shocked~! Why~? Bella will never
allowed that. For the 4 years that we were together, she never allowed me to
answer her calls, especially those made by her admirers & ex-boyfriends. It
was one night, and Bella had promised to
call me. It was quite late already, but she still didn't call me. Thus I call
her up instead. I was stun when it was John
who answered the call. I don't know what to say in that instance. All that I
managed to say was, "Err.. Is Bella there~?", swallowing my saliva
hard...
John was a gentleman, whom he talk to
me in a very nice tone, but I find challenges in his voice. He sounds really sarcastic,
but I do assure you that he sounded very polite~! He made all our conversations
short and straight to the point. He even ask me to pass those belongings that Bella
had left in my house to him personally. 
Argh~!
After that he still can ask me if that's all, and then hang up when I said
yes...
Bella will say how good is he towards her. How sweet & caring is he when he does things for her. And how someone can actually defeat me using only merely a month or so, when mine was a relationship I tried with anything I could & everything I have for the past few years. I felt inferior. I do, and I seriously thinks that that's what Bella wants.
Bella Got Put On Some Weight Huh ! ? !
Anyway, not everyone is like me. Why would I say that~? You know how would I
treat a girl that I wanna woo~? Simple, I'll treat her as if she's my
girlfriend. How I treat a girl that I like when I'm
wooing her, will be the same as how I'll treat her when she's my girlfriend, and
it'll only gets better. It's easy to say, but it's definitely not
easy. You might think that that's another crap of mine, but I won't need to
prove it to you. If you happens to be that person, you'll know... That's why I
think I belongs to the Cave Man times. Someone like that is just as rare as dinosaur,
don't you agreed~? 
For John, he's nice when he's wooing Bella, but he starts to ignore her after some time that they went on steady. To me, one tends to ignore the treasure when he/she already owns it. He won't accompany her that often anymore, sometimes not even to the movies. He'll not even accompany her to have meals. Do you know when he'll go find her~? Only when he wants money, which is in most of the cases.
Finally, I came to make up my mind. I will take Bella back~! Even if it'll cost me everything... However there're more than that. I also got to find out the truth about Bella, on why she act in certain ways. You'll get to know them, in Tearing Them Apart...