The Story of Me
The Story of Me
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Tolerance towards Bella's temper &
attitude was limited, we finally broke up... Not because that I can't tolerate
her anymore but due to one word, trust~! It's her that don't trust me. I
once told her that there's this gal that is so nice to me, and she misunderstood
that I'm asking her if I could get myself another girlfriend. 
Stupid
rite~! My purpose of telling her that a gal is treating me nice is that, I
wanted her to have a pressure in order to have a better control of her temper
& attitude. But I was wrong, Bella is
someone that can't take up challenge.
Instead of having everything in better control, it went out of control~! More argument broke out, and to make things worst is that she'll said something like, "Go to that gal who's nicer to you lor~!". Ever since Bella came to know the name of Winnie, who's the gal who treated me nice, she hated that name. She'll hate everyone with that name, even Winnie The Pooh~!
Well, since that there's lack of trust in this relationship, especially when Bella actually thought that I'm going steady with Winnie liao, and that our argument gets more often & worst, we broke up...
I'm someone who seldom give up~! If there's ever a slightest chance, I'll still continue trying. But I gave up on Bella, I really need to rest. There's too many tears & hurt involved in this relationship and yet it's okay, but now even trust was gone~! I've put in many time & effort in it, yet I still failed~! Bella defeated me, she won~! Even though I'm someone who could succeed in doing other things as long as I put in enough effort, I still failed in proving to Bella that I'm the right one, while I die trying~!
After the break up, I undergo coma in love... I ask myself, even though I die
trying, I still fail. So why not just abandon love, since love had abandoned me.
For quite some time I don't even dare to think of getting into another
relationship. I'm scare of gals liao... They're so unpredictable~! Don't you
guys agree~? 
However, I found this special gal, Fiona~! I
had a crush with her. She hit my world like a meteor~! I met her at Causeway
Point, where Charles & Freddy
accompany me go shopping there. We're playing games at the arcade centre there,
when I suddenly saw Fiona & her friend, Jesslyn.
Everything in that moment was like complete darkness, leaving only her shining
brightly there. Sorry arh~! Kinda too exaggerating liao~! 
But she really got hold of my attention at that moment lor. She was wearing a Giordano
windbreaker with a T-shirt underneath, and jeans.
Freddy and Charles also came to notice her presence. Thus we decided to approach her, however only Freddy and I went up to her~! My heart beats faster & harder as I walk nearer to her. Freddy was the one who started the conversation, in a very typical way. "Can we make friends with you~?", Freddy asked. Fiona seems to be shocked by our approach, she just kept shaking her head and saying no. Feeling disheartened, I said, "Can lah~! Just making new friends only mah..." Again, she just kept shaking her head and saying no. However, in the end she finally gave up as we keep bothering her. She told us her name, but refused to give us her contact number. Thus we just continue to bother her again lor, till she gave up again. Eventually she said, "I'll give you my pager number, but I'll only say once~! Ok~?"
We both nod our heads happily~! She played cheat by mumbling her number softly
in a very fast manner. Thus we told her that we had already taken up the challenge
thus she also needs to play fair mahz... We said that we don't mind saying it
fast, but must be clear mahz, rite~? Thus she said it again. This time loud
& clear, but even faster. I only manage to remember the first 4 numbers. Guess
what~? Freddy also only got to heard 4 numbers, but they're the last 4
numbers~! 
Yeah~!
Thus we combine the numbers together. Fiona
seems disappointed, but was smiling at the way we remembered her number. We then
finally decided not to bother her further, so we left the place some time
later...
Fiona
I paged Fiona that very night, she returned call a few minutes later... We chatted for quite a long time, say for about 4 hours. We chatted about everything. From then on, we chatted everyday. We started to share our experiences of our past relationship. We even shared our darkest secret... Like~? Cannot tell you lah... Secrets how to tell you~! Anyway, after one week of long talks on the phone, we decided to meet up again.
Before I met up with her, I was struggling on what to wear~? I can't really
recall how she look like liao, but I only can remember that she's a chio bu,
meaning pretty gal. In the end I decided to wear simple, cos if too exaggerating
in what I wear might give her the impression that I'm a psycho. On the way to
meet her, I was damn nervous~! *sweat* However, when I finally meet up with her,
I was shocked~! She's much prettier than what I remembered~! That makes me even
more nervous~! Till then, she's the pretties gal I know... Man, I even nearly
blush in front of her at that moment~! 
After that first meeting, there's more meeting... I always send her home, I normally bring along my Discman as there's only one bus at her place there that I can take to go home, and it's a very long trip~! At least 30 to 45 minutes... Well, all I can say is that I like her lor. I treat her as if she's my girl friend. I don't know about her, but she's very nice to me. She's even caution about my feelings, that's sweet to me~! That made me like her even more...
Fiona knows everything about Bella. I remembered that there's one day where she told me that if she & I were to be together, she'll be very scared of Bella. That was a few days after Bella went into the hospital. Why Bella end up in the hospital~? She had committed suicide.
One or two days before Bella tried killing herself by swallowing panadols, she wanted a patch up with me. But I don't want, then she also quarrel with her mother. That make it worse, so she end up trying to kill herself. That's what she told me lah... Anyway, on the day where Bella was sent to hospital, I was with Fiona & her two friends, Jesslyn & Eileen, at Parklane Shopping Centre playing arcade games when Jasmine, my mei mei, page me to tell me that Bella is at Alexandra Hospital. After telling me all the facts, my face turn pale~! I then told Fiona that I gotta go see Bella and hope that she'll understand. She's kinda sad about it, but still she accompanied me to wait for a cab. Before I leave I apologised to her for not sending her home. I also promised that I'll call her when I'm done, and also asked her to page me when she reached home.
When I reached the hospital, I saw everyone waiting outside the ward. When I'm
at the entrance of the ward, I saw a few doctors & nurses attending to Bella.
Oh~! I forgot to tell you that Bella's
parents don't know about our breakup... Anyway, that sight melted me~! Tears
came pouring down my cheeks. 
To make it worse, when Bella's mother saw me
crying quietly, she told me that it's ok if I cannot take it, she'll handle this
kinda of situation herself~! What the hell is she trying to say man~! She don't
know anything man~! Anyway Bella's dad came
a few minutes later...
When the doctors said that we can go in to see Bella liao, we rushed it~! She looked so pitiful with all those needles poking into her arms, and gas tube put into her nose~! It hurts me to see her in that state... I just kept quiet and stay at one corner. Cause I'm waiting for everyone to finish with whatever they wanna say, it's like I'm the lead actor in the movies who'll make the most important conversation a to the dying lead actress... When it's finally my turn, most of the people step aside.
The first sentence I said was, "Now you really look like a super hero with a oxygen tank~!" She smiled. Then I just kneel beside her bed, holding on to her right hand while looking at her. I think my expression says everything, I need not say anything more. She also don't need to say anything. To me, her expression is telling me that she wanna say sorry... I ask the nurse for permission to stay till Bella fall asleep. Bella's dad also help me to talk to the nurse. The nurse agreed and we thank her. Bella's dad got me a chair for me to sit instead of kneeling down the whole day... Everyone then left.
The atmosphere of a hospital is kinda sickening, I just don't like it. It's like death guardian is there watching over everyone on the sick bed. However, I told Bella that I'll be there till she fall asleep, and that I'll be there again the following day after my lesson in SP. But she must sleep immediately, that'll be the trade. She agreed. She falls asleep fast, must be due to the medications and injections. After she fall asleep, I brushed away her hair that are covering her face. Then gently I let go of her hand, hoping that it'll not wake her up. Just before I leave, I kissed her on her forehead and whispered goodnite softly at her ears... Guess that till now, she still don't know about it~! However, she was discharged the following morning, even before my lesson ended.
The Song Of Me & Fiona
Anyway back to my story about Fiona... She is another popular gal among guys, but of course~! She's pretty, so sure got a lot of admirers one rite~! There's these two guys, Aaron & Eddie. Man, they both are sure handsome & stylish, especially Eddie. Aaron is quite good looking, someone who's able to talk and crack jokes. Fiona, Jesslyn, Eileen, Aaron & Eddie are all good friends. Anyway, the relationship is kinda complicated as one like the other, while the other likes another~! Hope you get what I mean... Anyway Aaron & Eddie both likes Fiona...
They're a group of fun people, so it's quite entertaining to go out with them. However, I only went out once with the whole group only once. That's on Fiona's chalet at Sentosa... That was when I first got to see the two guys. Freddy was worried that I might get into trouble, thus he told me that he'll get some guys to be stand by, just in case if the two guys try something funny, then all I need is give him a call and the whole gang will start coming down~! I laughed when he said that, cos I told him that everything will be fine... Quite a good friend huh~!
Anyway, there's only the six of us in the chalet... It was quite fun at first till night time. It was like a war going on. Aaron, Eddie & I will be trying to find time with Fiona. Whenever one is playing or talking with her, the other two will be sitting quietly at separate corners. The feeling was really kinda bad lor... For me, time flew past when I'm with Fiona, but time drag slowly when the other two was with him. Anyway, I spent the least time with Fiona as I don't wanna go into this kinda 'fight' for time. Why? Simply because I don't wanna pressure Fiona further in this type of situation. However Fiona seems trouble that night. It was the first time I ever saw her smoke...
So how do I cope with the long dragging hours? Well at around 0400hrs, I couldn't take it anymore. So I decided to jog around the beach, alone. Can you believe it~? It took me quite some time for me to realise that the beach was kinda eerie as there was no lightings at all. I jogged for only 15 minutes then I decided to go back, as I saw someone cycling there alone. Also don't know if that is a he or it~! I reach back the room at about 0445hrs. The war was still going on~! *sian*
However I finally got to have all the time with Fiona at about 0800hrs. It was when everyone decided to sleep liao. Fiona was tired too, and wanted only to lay down to rest as there's only 2 more hours and we need to check out liao... Everyone was sleeping on the bed and sofa, leaving me and Fiona laying on the carpet floor. We lied down facing each other, chatting softly...
Then suddenly Fiona rush to the toilet~! I thought wat happen, thus I followed... I then saw her crying at the basin. She must have been thinking about his ex-boyfriend again. I then decided to console her. When I hold her arms, she turn and hug me, still crying... I hug her back, taping her head with one of my hands. Suddenly someone push the door, which hit my back. The door was left ajar thus the noise must have awaken someone... Fiona told me not to tell anyone that she cried in there, and I promised.
Anyway, Fiona & I never meet up again after the chalet. Why? Cause to my surprise, she had chosen Aaron a few days later... I was hurt badly. After so many things that we shared, and that someone who finally in this world that can show me that love still exist, actually left me~! Maybe she's worried about Bella, or the way I treated her as my girlfriend when she's not, and scared her away in the end~! But I just can't take the fact that she choose somebody else. I felt cheated...
At first was Bella, now Fiona... Sadness took over me~! Anger build up in me~! I changed all my thoughts~! Why should I be an Angel Of Women, where I'll only be hurt and abused~! Wanna know what happen to me? Do stay tune for my next chapter of my life... Where you'll hate me till you hope that I will die and burn in hell~! See what's coming up next, in Fallen Angel...