Unintentional Damages by Seinfeld & Friends

Estimated Lives Lost

0

Estimated Material Damage

US$0

When you think of all the havoc that Jerry, George, Elaine and Kramer have unintentionally wreaked, be thankful that they are fictitious characters. On the other hand, they are fictitious characters based on real people...

Season One

None. (?)

Season Two

7. The Pony Remark. Jerry's statement criticizing pony owners may have accelerated Polish cousin Manya's death. (Manya had a pony as a kid).

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17. The Busboy. George gets Antonio fired from his job as a busboy at an Italian restaurant.

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Season Three

19. The Truth. Being truthful with Patrice in order to break up with her, George causes her a nervous breakdown.

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24. The Caf�. Jerry convinces Babu to make his Caf�'s menu all-Pakistani. The Caf� loses all clients and closes.

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28. The Alternate Side. George, filling in for car-mover Sid, causes a traffic jam and wrecks Jerry's rental car.

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29. The Red Dot. Jerry mistakenly switches his vodka with the cranberry juice of Dick, a recovering alcoholic. Dick goes on a drinking binge.

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31. The Pez Dispenser. Jerry recalls that when Kramer told Ritchie to pour Gatorade on 67-year-old club owner Marty Benson's head, Ritchie did so, and Benson dies soon after.

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Season Four

41. The Trip, Part II. Exiting a cop car, Jerry and George leave the door open, allowing the handcuffed Smog Strangler to escape and commit murder again.

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45. The Bubble Boy. Careless with a Cuban cigar, Kramer sets Susan's father's cabin on fire.

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48. The Virgin. Delivery boy Ping swerves to avoid a jaywalking Elaine and runs into a parked car.

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49. The Contest. When George's mother catches George gratifying himself, she falls down and winds up in the Hospital.

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53. The Visa. Elaine fails to pick up Jerry's mail, which has Babu's immigration papers. Babu gets deported.

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55. The Outing. Jerry and George lead a reporter to believe they're a gay couple. When the story shows up in the New York Times and George's mother reads it, she has an accident, landing again in the Hospital.

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56. The Old Man. Kramer and Newman destroy Sid's dentures in a scuffle.

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60. The Handicap Spot. Jerry parks in a handicapped spot. A handicapped woman who parks in a regular spot has an accident.

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Season Five

63. The Puffy Shirt. When low-talking Leslie asks Jerry to wear a puffy shirt she designed, Jerry agrees rather than admit he did not hear what she said. Jerry ditches the shirt at his appearance at the Today show, negating possible demand for the shirt and ruining Leslie. Angered, Leslie picks up a hot iron and rushes at Jerry, but instead hits George's hands, ruining George's hand modeling carreer.

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68. The Nonfat Yogurt. Kramer's necking with a lab technician causes a vial of so-called "nonfat" yogurt to spill into a sample of mayor-candidate Rudolph Giuliani's blood, giving Giuliani an unrealistically high cholesterol count. Elaine suggests to Lloyd Braun, aide to Mayor Dinkins, that New York residents wear name tags to promote greater friendliness. Braun takes the suggestion to Dinkins, who adopts it as a campaign promise. Giuliani has by then found out the truth about his cholesterol count and the yogurt fraud, which he vows to put a stop to. This, combined with Dinkins's silly name tag proposal, causes Dinkins to lose the mayoral election to Giuliani.

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73. The Stall. Rock-climbing with Tony the Mimbo, George losees his grip, causing Tony to get hit with rocks in the face, in turn causing him to lose girlfriend Elaine.

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75. The Marine Biologist. Kramer gives Elaine an electronic pocket organizer. Riding in a car with novelist Yuri Testikov, Elaine's organizer beeps annoyingly, so Testikov grabs it and throws it out the window, hitting Corrinne. Elaine goes to Testikov's hotel room with a tape recorder, which Testikov hears and also throws out, again hitting Corrinne. Kramer plays golf on the beach, and one of his errant golf balls falls on a whale's blowhole, obstructing it. Fortunately, George, who's at the time pretending to be a marine biologist, happens to be at the beach when the whale washes ashore, and he is able to remove the golf ball and save the whale.

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77. The Stand-In. Jerry, trying to cheer up hospitalized Fulton, makes Fulton laugh to death.

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80. The Fire. After being heckled by Toby at the comedy club, Jerry goes down to Pendant Publishing to heckle her. Toby, distraught by the heckling, goes out to the street and has an accident in which her pinky toe is severed. Fortunately, Kramer rushes the toe to the Hospital to be reattached to Toby's foot. Out of sympathy for her, her superiors give Toby the promotion that might have gone to Elaine otherwise.

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Season Six

83. The Chaperone. From a hotel room terrace, Jerry dumps some water, killing doves in a cage on a terrace below. The doves belong to a Miss America contestant, who substitutes her magic act (with the doves) for a song sung off key, costing her the pageant. George decides to change the NY Yankees uniforms to cotton, causing the players discomfort during a game and making them lose.

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84. The Big Salad. Kramer golfs with former ballplayer Steve Gendason They get in an argument which Kramer later believes motivated Gendason to go on a killing rampage.

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88. The Gymnast. Kramer passes a kidney stone at the circus restroom and yells out in pain. The scream distracts an acrobat on the high wire, making him fall.

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90. The Mom & Pop Store. Jerry goes to Tim Whatley's party, where he knocks a trophy off the windowsill. The trophy falls on a Woody Woodpecker balloon.

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102. The Diplomats Club. Jerry goes to a pharmacy dressed like the people who work there. When Mr. Pitt gets faulty medical advice from Jerry, he buys medications with dangerous interactions.

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103. The Face Painter. Puddy paints his face to cheer on the New Jersey Devils and yells at a priest, who then believes he's seen Satan and goes into a coma. Elaine, dressed in all white, visits the priest, who then believes he's seeing the Virgin Mary.

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Season Seven

107. The Maestro. George buys a rocking chair for a clothing shop's security guard. When the guard falls asleep, thieves take the opportunity to rob the cashier.

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108. The Wink. Jerry, trying to pass off for a carnivore, hides mutton in his coat pocket. Elaine borrows that coat, and her boyfriend's dogs, smelling the mutton, attack her. Jerry accidentally squirts grapefruit into George's eye, causing him to wink a lot. George's winking causes a coworker to get fired.

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109. The Hot Tub. Kramer gets a 16000BTU heat pump for his new bathtub, which shorts out the fuses in the whole building. Olympics runner Jean-Paul, sleeping in Jerry's apartment for the night, wakes up late and nearly misses a marathon race. At the marathon, Kramer drinks a cup of coffee, which a passing Jean-Paul mistakes for a cold drink meant for him, and winds up scalding himself.

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111. The Secret Code. George reveals his secret ATM code to Peterman's dying mother. The code, "Bosco", holds some significance for her and precipitates her death. Jerry's limp causes some gasoline to spill at Leapin' Larry's appliance store, later setting off a fire. The firemen don't get there in time due to Kramer's misguided help with traffic shortcuts.

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116. The Caddy. Elaine buys a brassiere for Sue Ellen Mischke, who hasn't worn one ever. Sue Ellen uses the bra as an outer garment, and, walking down the street so dressed, distracts Kramer who's driving by, and he smashes George's car into a lamppost. They return the car in that condition to George's parking spot at Yankee Stadium, leading Steinbrenner to believe the absent George is dead.

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124. The Bottle Deposit. At an auction, Elaine bids $20000 on behalf of Peterman for JFK's golf clubs, then stores the clubs in Jerry's car, which is stolen by a zealous mechanic. In Ohio, Kramer and Newman, driving an USPS truck full of empty soda bottles, spot Jerry's car, but the mechanic flings the JFK clubs at them. In all this, the USPS truck is totalled.

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125. The Wait Out. George nearly precipitates David and Beth's divorce by folksily commenting to Beth that she "could've done better" than David. In a rare turn, George declares that he will not be responsible for the breakup of a marriage, and, despite opposition from Jerry and Elaine, gets David and Beth back together.

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126. The Invitations. George buys the cheapest envelopes for his wedding invitations. Susan stuffs the envelopes, and eventually the toxic glue kills her.

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Season Eight

134. The Chicken Roaster. Jerry walks into Kenny Rogers Roasters with an imitation sable hat that's shedding feathers, bringing about the demise of the Roasters business.

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137. The Little Jerry. George dates Celia, a prisoner. George counsels Kurt, Elaine's current boyfriend, on going bald. When Celia busts out of jail and goes to George's apartment, Kurt is there. The police arrive and mistake Kurt for George, and arrest him for "aiding and abetting a known fugitive".

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142. The Pothole. Kramer adopts a mile of highway, but in his incompetent cleaning, he spills oil and causes Newman, who's driving along in an USPS truck, to catch on fire. George wants to retrieve his keys that fell into a pothole later repaved, so he takes a jackhammer to it himself, and causes a plumbing accident in Jenna's house.

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143. The English Patient. Jerry is misunderstood by three generations of Mandelbaum men, who all think Jerry is belittling them, and trying to prove him wrong, they each put their backs out and wind up in the Hospital.

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144. The Nap. George sleeps under his desk with an alarm clock. Steinbrenner mistakes the clock's ticking for the ticking of a terrorist bomb.

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Season Nine

150. The Voice. Kramer and his 'intern', Darin, drop a big plastic bag filled with oil out of a window at the Play Now sporting goods store. Claire, standing at the point of impact, does not move out of the way when Jerry tries to warn her using a voice she hates, so the oil falls on her. She sues Play Now and puts them out of business, and George out of a job.

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152. The Blood. Kramer stores his blood in Jerry's car. When the Mandelbaums drive Jerry's car with Jerry in tow, the blood in the motor causes the car to malfunction, and Jerry to get badly scraped.

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154. The Merv Griffin Show. George runs over a squirrel, and takes him to animal expert Jim Fowler, who has a hawk on his arm. Fowler's hawk attacks George's squirrel.

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162. The Strong Box. Kramer hides the key to his safe in the food of a neighbor's parrot. The parrot ingests the key and dies.

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166. The Frogger. Unknowing at first, Elaine eats a slice from Peterman's $29000 antique cake, and later winds up eating the whole thing and replacing it with an Entenmann's. George attempts to move a Frogger machine across the street to a truck to transport it to his house. Kramer's cordoning off of the area causes traffic jams, but when the police tape is removed, George tries to take it across the street himself amid all the traffic, but almost there, another truck comes at him too quickly, and George moves out and the truck smashes the Frogger machine to bits.

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168. The Puerto Rican Day. Kramer tramples a Puerto Rican flag.

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Designed for Internet Explorer. You can click on each Season heading to view descriptions of damages caused in those season's episodes and estimated amounts of lost lives and materials. You might disagree with the estimates, in which case you can type in your estimates for either lives lost or material damage, and update the total by clicking the Add It Up button. (Do not type the dollar sign or the commas, they're implied).

This listing is probably not complete. You can e-mail me to let me know of anything I may have overlooked. If add to this list, your contribution will be acknowledged.

Contributors: Jeremiah Stone. Sources: Seinfeld reruns, TV Guide special Seinfeld Forever.

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