Top 5 Poundland -stylee shops... 1. Planet pound and plus - the 'plus' was the aisle of things over a pound, usually dayglo CD racks and fibre optic malarky. Now sadly demised, this poundshop on piccadilly bus station has divided itself into two shops one of which is... 2. Pound World, whose big red sign happily proclaims that "everything is pound" (sic) 3. Poundland('everything's a pound at poundland' music does it for me, but i knew someone who worked there when i was in 6th form and they treat you like shit apparently, anyway you have to go all the way to Wythenshaw to see it these days, only worth a trip if you're goin to the hospital. 4. Pound �mpire. On the other side of Piccadilly, boasts an impressive array of candles, windchimes, dream catchers and other items for the skint hippy. 5. Pound stretcher. Comes last becuase it's not an actual pound shop in that it sells it's wares for all different prices, how confusing, imagine if all shops starting doing that. Has good sweets and them videos that have two films on that are quite similar. |
| Top 5 things to do in Blackpool: 1. Spend 20p trying to win teddybears through the medium of near useless metal grabby arms 2. Watch teenage girls impress other teenage girls with thier fast feet on the 'EuroDance' game. 3. Get to the front of the queue of the Pepsi Max then bottle it and push your way back through 4. Trudge round B+B's looking for rainbow flags and other gay paraphenalia, then stay in a straight one anyway cos they're nicer and less gay (and because jackie's not gay anymore, duhh) 5. Slag off the new corporate sponsership of the illuminations (like, they weren't shit before) |
| Top five Palindrones (them phrases that are the same f orwards and backwards) 1. Yo, banana boy! 2. "Do nine men interpret?" "Nine men," I nod. 3. If I had a hifi 4. UFO tofu 5. No lemons, no melon |
| Stuff and things... |
| Top 5 manky conditions Jackie has had in the last couple of years: 1. Hand foot and mouth disease - otherwise known as the 'coxsackies virus' and involving seeping lesions on the hands, feet and (surprisingly) mouth. Definately the mankiest by far. Wrote a poem about it. 2. Gallstones - the most painful, and I even got jaundice, I looked like a Simpson, I'd say it was kinda cool but it wasn't. It was really shit. I now have no gallbladder. 3. Tonsilitus - all the fucking time 4. Reynaurds - cold 5. A foreign object in the gland duct of the paratoid gland (ooooh!) - on-going, makes me look like I've got mumps. I also may have pluracy at the moment, I have just moved house and am getting a new doctor so we'll see what it is soon. |
| and finally, in true high school / FHM stylee, here's my... Top ten most fanciable people 1. Morrissey 2. Susan Matthews 3. Bernard's skirt 4. Slowpoke the sloth 6. Scarlet (now no longer with us, she had stars for hands, little furry fucker) 8. The Olson twins (they're 18 now, seriously) 9. All my freinds, equally, alphabetically and chorologically. 10. Morrissey |
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| Gallstones - visual |
| Top five revels 1. Naked minstrel 2. Malteaser 3. Coffee 4. Orange 5. Hard toffee (at a push) |
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