It's been sitting around on my computer for ages and when I finally re-read it, I thought "Hey, why not?" and figured I could post it as a bonus addition to the "official" Hawk and Phoenix. Kinda like a "lost chapter" thing. ^_^ Will be edited more as time passes, just like all the rest of the chapters.

He was running, fast and hard, knowing only that there was somewhere he had to be before it was too late, but everything was dark and he couldn�t see where he was going.

But that didn�t matter. The most important thing � the only important thing � was to keep running. His own heavy breaths resounded in the dark, oppressive silence all around and echoed painfully loud in his ears.

Then, up ahead, a beam of light suddenly split the darkness � and he immediately knew that there was where he had to go. But as he redoubled his efforts to reach that distant light, he also became aware of huge, menacing shapes in the darkness around him. Shapes that sent a thrill of fear through his very soul.

Demons!

And in a flash, the ground he was running on became paved with blood red faces, and he knew without looking that the sky would have turned into a swirling madness-vision of anguished faces as well, as if shrouded in a storm of blood and damnation. Above the place of light hovered a black sun, casting everything into deep shadow.

He could only see vague, hulking shapes of the demons in the darkness, but he could feel them begin to move - slowly at first, but increasingly faster - towards the light.

Exhaustion started to take its toll on his body: His legs began to ache and every breath burnt like fire in his lungs, but still he tried to push himself a little harder, to run just a little faster, so that he would get to the light before the demons did.

It was futile; however hard he pushed himself, he couldn�t get any closer to the light. He felt the demons rush by, as if they couldn�t see him or just didn�t care. He tried to cry out a warning, but couldn�t find the breath for it� and then the ground beneath his feet squelched.

He stopped for a moment and stared down in horror, for the faces on the ground beneath him were no longer blank and impersonal � they were the faces of the Band of the Hawk. The men he had fought alongside of, the men he had laughed and mourned with. All dead. All with bloody, broken faces staring unseeingly up at him with expressions of unspeakable terror and pain forever etched into their features.

A scream from up ahead tore his mind and eyes away from the horror at his feet, and he saw the dark tide of demons descend on the light. He began running again, gritting his teeth against nausea and grief as he trampled the faces of his comrades underfoot.

And then, he came up over a small rise and could finally see what was in the light; Pippin, Corkus, Rickert, Gatts and Caska stood back to back in a circle, fighting the onslaught of demons with all that they had � but they were hopelessly outnumbered.

��Hold on! I�m coming!� Judeau pressed the shout out and tried to push himself to run faster by sheer willpower, but he couldn�t get any closer to his friends and they didn�t seem to hear him.

He had to get to them. He didn�t know what he would do once he reached them, but that didn�t matter. He had to get to them.

As he watched helplessly, a demon swooped down and bit Corkus� head clean off with a swift crunch and an awful, wet, ripping sound. The former bandit leader�s blood spattered all over the other Hawks, and the decapitated body didn�t even hit the ground before a swarm of demons tore it to shreds and devoured it.

When the blood spattered onto Rickert, the young boy cried out and lifted his arms to shield his face. Judeau threw a hand out in a futile effort to stop the impending disaster.

��No, Rickert! Don�t let your guard down!�

But it was too late. A huge, sword-like horn impaled the boy straight through the abdomen, and his anguished screams echoed on and on and on as he was lifted high above the battle like some kind of macabre flag.

With tears burning behind his eyelids, Judeau saw a scaly tentacle wrap itself around Pippin�s massive arm and tear it out of its socket with a sickening pop. The giant man�s face contorted in pain, but he kept swinging his mace with just one hand, taking down two more demons before his torso was forcefully pierced through by a multitude of spikes, and he slowly collapsed � but not before crushing the spike-demons skull with one last, mighty blow.

Now only Caska and Gatts remained, standing back to back and putting up an incredible fight. Demons fell all around them, Gatts� huge sword was merely a blur inside a whirlwind of destruction and Caska was fiercely guarding his back, striking down any demon that came too close� But more kept coming. There was no end to the onslaught, and the two were beginning to wear out.

Judeau kept running, unable to keep his tears from spilling down over his face, unable to run fast enough, unable to get any closer and unwilling to give up.

��Gatts� Caska�� His lungs felt shredded and burnt, his throat was so thick and dry, so sharply stinging with tears and effort, that his desperate calls merely came out as hoarse whispers.

He was going to be too late.

He wasn�t going to make it in time.

This knowledge sent a stab of grief through him, that quickly turned into anger and frustration at his own inadequacy. His tears threatened to blur out his vision, but he stubbornly blinked them away, focused his efforts and pressed on.

Damn it! Damn it all! Damn my weak body!

Gatts fought like a wild beast. The only difference between him and the demons attacking him was his human shape. His sword butchered at least one demon with every swipe, and when it finally broke against a hard carapace, he drew his knife and kept defending Caska�s back. Even when the demons finally overwhelmed him, they had to literally tear him apart before he stopped killing them.

And then, it was over. Hissing and gurgling, the demons withdrew, disappearing back into the darkness, and left Caska standing alone in the light. She fell to her knees and picked up the hilt of Gatts� broken sword with trembling hands. Pressing the shattered, bloodied piece of steel tightly against her chest, she hung her head and wept � a sound so abandoned and filled with grief that it tore Judeau�s heart apart.

He was approaching the light now and had to slow down into an exhausted jog, his throat so thick with tears and his chest so filled with pain that he almost couldn�t breathe anymore.

��Ca� Caska��

She didn�t look up at him when he entered the light, but stiffened a little.

��Caska�� He reached out to touch her shoulder, to try to offer some kind of comfort, but she shied away and hissed hoarsely:

��Don�t touch me. Don�t you dare touch me.�

The raw anger and pain in her whisper felt like a jagged dagger through his heart. He fell to his knees beside her, stunned and hurt.

��Ca� I��

��Where were you, Judeau? Where were you when we needed you?�

��I-I was trying� trying to get to you, but-�

��But what?!� she screamed in rage, still without looking up, �But what, Judeau?! What kept you away? What kept you from your comrades� sides? What was more important to you than their lives?�

He ineffectively tried to fight back his tears and tried to think clearly through all the pain.

She�s so very hurt and sad right now� she�s saying things that she doesn�t really mean� I shouldn�t let it hurt me� I have to stay composed, for both our sakes.

��You wanted to live! Isn�t that it? You wanted to live, so you ran, and you hid� Isn�t that it? Isn�t it?! You saved yourself and left them there to die!�

��No! Caska, believe me; I-I wanted to be by your side! I wanted to be there��

��You liar!� she interrupted again, �If you really wanted to be there that much, then you would have been there!� He heard the tears in her voice, tears both of sadness, pain and anger � and the last was aimed entirely at him.

��Caska� No� Please, believe me��

��You weren�t there, Judeau! You weren�t there when he died!� Her voice broke, but still she kept shouting at him between shaky sobs that racked her body, accusingly holding the broken remnants of Gatts� sword out between them. �Why weren�t you there?! Why are you still alive when he�s dead?! What gives you the right?!�

He couldn�t keep the pain away anymore, couldn�t keep the tears away.

��Caska�� he whispered hoarsely, almost pleading with her. ��I wanted to fight� I wanted to be��

She wasn�t listening. With another trembling, angry sob she finally raised her head and looked straight into his eyes. With a gaze full of grief and rage and with tears flowing as abundantly as his own, she screamed into his face:

��Why didn�t you die instead of him?!�

The silence between them was filled with ragged breaths and choking sobs, but it was still so much heavier than any other silence Judeau had ever had to endure.

He felt numb. He hadn�t expected it to hurt that much� but�

I knew� He could see in her eyes that his pain stood clearly written on his face. The black orbs widened a little, as if she just realised what she had said.

I knew how you felt� He couldn�t look away as her eyes narrowed again, once more filling with anger and stubbornly continuing their accusing glare.

�About me� about him� even before you knew it yourself�

�And, indeed�

��If I could�� he whispered, his voice now surprisingly steady despite the cold, numb chaos in his heart. Or maybe because of it. ��I would have.� Somehow, he managed to smile and straighten himself up. �Please believe, Caska, that all I ever wanted� was for you to be happy. If I could, I would have given my life for that �for you.�

His tears had finally stopped, as if there weren�t any more left to cry, but hers became even more enraged and she thrust the hilt of Gatts� sword out at him. The jagged metal scraped against his chestplate.

��So why didn�t you?! If you were so ready to give your life, then why weren�t you there?!�

The pain of her words was absorbed into the numbness that still filled him. This was good, because suddenly there was a familiar, tightening feeling in his guts that had nothing to do with Caska�s verbal abuse. Suddenly alert, he grabbed her by the arm, searching the darkness around them, allowing the returning adrenaline to clear and focus his mind.

His voice was almost back to normal, and he was impressed at how calm and steady it sounded:

��We can talk later, this place isn�t safe. Something very dangerous is out there, and it�s coming here.� He stood up, trying to pull her up along with him. �Come on, we have to get out of here!�

She squirmed in his grip, yanking and twisting to be released.

��No! I�m not going anywhere with you this time!�

�Caska, listen to me! If you stay here, you�ll die! I�m certain of it!� He tightened his hold as much as he dared and desperately tried to plead with her:

��I� I know you�re angry and grieving right now, but I beg you; please try not to give in to it! You�re our captain, you have to survive! For the Hawks!�

��What Hawks?!� She yelled, rising to her feet so suddenly that he almost lost his grip on her arm. �They�re dead, Judeau! They�re all dead, except for us! You want me to live for you?�

His mouth suddenly went so dry that his tongue glued itself to the roof of his mouth, and she gave him a look filled with all too much grim understanding.

��I see,� she hissed, �Of course. That�s why you dragged me away, wasn�t it? You wanted me.� Her eyes began to burn with a new kind of rage, and her voice grew equally more forceful. �But you never stopped to consider what I might want, did you?! Even though I told you: I wanted to die with the Hawks! They were my life, my family! �Swords drawn, side by side� � That�s how I wanted to go!� Before he had time to snap out of his frozen paralysis, she slapped him across the face, so hard that he staggered several steps back. Holding a hand to his burning cheek, he looked back at her in shock and pain.

In some strange way, she had never looked more beautiful. Her rage straightened her back and brought a passionate fire to her black eyes � as if she could burn him to cinders where he stood with just one look. Her short hair fell about her head like the dark halo of an avenging angel, and her voice sounded so strong, so powerful, when she growled:

��You only thought about yourself! You only wanted to escape with me, and didn�t bother about what I really wanted! Whom I wanted!� She thrust a finger out at him, so much like an angel dealing out divine punishment. �I never wanted you! I never wanted you to save me!�

He couldn�t move. It was as though her accusing finger had frozen him to the spot, and the only thing he could do was to keep staring at her beautiful, terrible frame. He couldn�t think, only hear her words echo through his mind and heart, over and over again.

�I never wanted you to save me!

�You only thought about yourself!

�They�re all dead, except for us!

�I wanted to die with the Hawks!

��Ca�!�

Something wrapped around his ankles with frightening strength and he gasped in shock, almost loosing his balance. As he whipped his arms out to steady himself, strong, scaly tentacles coiled around his wrists as well.

With a grunt of pain and effort he tried to break free of the tentacles� hold, but they were too strong and effortlessly lifted him up into the air, effectively depriving him of his leverage.

��Caska! Run!�

She remained where she stood, her expression and posture unchanged.

��Please! I beg you! Run! Before it�s too��

He caught himself mid-sentence. Partly because he was struck by the insight that she couldn�t hear him, but mostly because of the shape that emerged from the darkness behind her.

��Caska.� It said. With the same old, familiar voice. That same calm, collected, soft and sensible voice that Judeau had believed in and followed unquestioningly for most of his life. Caska turned around at the sound of that voice, and then took a small step back in surprise.

��Griffith��

It was Griffith, and yet in a way, it was not. He was changed.

The Griffith that stood before them had the same blue eyes, the same pale skin and the same hawk-like helmet that had marked him as the White Hawk, the God of Death, on countless battlefields� but now he was wearing darkness like a shroud. His helmet was black, his armour � or was it his skin? � The same; a black colour so dark that it could have been moulded out of pure shadow.

He seemed much taller and heavier than the old Griffith, but Judeau wasn�t sure whether this was actually the case, or whether it was because of the aura of menace and danger that seemed to ooze off of the dark figure.

From his shoulders hung what appeared to be a leathery, black cloak, but Judeau soon realised that it wasn�t a cloak at all as it began stretching out from Griffith�s new form.

Wings. Wings of solid darkness.

Caska began trembling when the black wings� reach exceeded the area of light.

��Gri� Griffith�?�

The dark figure said nothing but slowly raised an arm at her, holding his hand out in a gesture of invitation, an offer of comfort - but his expression remained cold as ice. Filled with a terrible sense of dread, Judeau shouted:

��Run! Run, Caska! That�s not Griffith!� He tried to wriggle free of the demonic tentacles that held him, helplessly watching as she took an uncertain step towards the shadow of those dark wings.

��Griffith?�

��No! Run! RUN! That thing is not the Griffith you knew!� His struggles against the iron hold were hopeless, but he couldn�t allow himself to give up. Caska took another step towards Griffith, slowly, almost hypnotically reaching her hand out towards his.

��Caska! No! He�s the one who killed them, don�t you remember?!� His voice broke as new tears of anger and frustration began pooling in his eyes and swell in his throat. �Run�� he whispered hoarsely, squeezing his eyes shut against the tears. �He�s the one� You have to run��

She can�t hear you.

��Gri�!� her frightened gasp was quickly silenced as Griffith�s mouth covered hers. For a short moment she seemed to melt into him, into his kiss, but then she began trembling and tried to push him away. Griffith�s arms tightened around her, his wings sweeping in with a soft whoosh to further trap her against him. Caska began making small noises of fear, ineffectively pounding her fists against Griffith�s chest and arms.

��Griffith, you bastard!� Judeau growled, �Let her go!�

No, the Griffith-voice in his head murmured, I don�t think so� in fact, I think I�m going to fulfil a dream of hers� With a sudden swipe of his claw-like hand, the Griffith-demon tore Caska�s armour apart, shredding her tunic in the same movement and revealing the soft, brown skin of her back. She gasped and managed to tear her mouth free from the forced kiss.

��Griffith, what are you doing?! No! Stop it! Help!�

The Griffith-demon proceeded to press her down against the ground, removing the top of her destroyed armour with one hand, pinning her down with the other.

Judeau struggled against his restraints, biting down hard on the surge of mind-dulling anger. �No, Griffith! Don�t you dare! I�ll never forgive you! Do you hear me? Never!�

A deceptively soft, mocking laughter caressed his ear. Oh, now I�m frightened�

Another sharp, ripping sound and a terrified cry from Caska announced that her pants had also been removed, and the dark Griffith-demon slowly lowered himself onto her, his wings spreading out across the ground like a bizarre parody of a warm, comforting blanket.

��GRIFFITH!!� Judeau screamed. Whether it was to block out Caska�s anguished cries or a temporary slip of his control, he didn�t know. It was probably both. �How dare you?! You bastard, how dare you do this!?�

She�s mine, to do with as I please. Once again that mocking laughter rang through his head, and when Griffith briefly looked up at him, the ghost of a smirk played on his lips. This is what she wants, what she�s always wanted. You know that. I�m just giving her what she�s been craving for many years.

��She�s not yours!� He felt the first tears begin to roll down his cheeks and clenched his jaw so much that it almost cramped, in an effort to keep them away. �Damn you, Griffith! Stop this! Let her go! You can do whatever you want with me � torture me, kill me� I don�t care, just� please� let her go!�

You�d sacrifice yourself for her? Again? Is she that special to you?

Truly, what a shame that she never knew� that you were never man enough to tell her.

��Ju� Judeau�� Startled at hearing her call his name, he looked down at Caska. She was crying openly, panting and whimpering in pain and humiliation. �Help me� please��

��Caska!� He tore at his arms and furiously kicked his legs, but all for nothing. He was too weak to even budge the tentacles� hold.

��Judeau�� She sobbed, raw despair seeping into her voice, ��Why �are you just standing there? �Why won�t� you help me�?�

He realised with a sinking feeling of dread that she wasn�t looking directly at him, but at something beneath his feet. He followed her gaze, and felt his mind and heart grow cold when he saw an image of himself standing there, where he had been standing before he was grabbed. Unchained, unmoving, dispassionately watching the horrible scene before him.

He forgot to struggle, numbly watching himself watching her.

��No�� he whispered, �no��

��Please, Judeau, help me�� Caska wept, pleading at the Judeau-image, �I�m sorry �for all the things I said� Please� I�ll go anywhere you want with you� if you just help me� Just please� help me��

��No� that�s not me� that�s not me� Oh, Caska, no� don�t think that I��

��Why won�t you help me?� She closed her eyes and cried at the swirling sky. �Why won�t anyone help me?!�

�� Griffith�� Judeau breathed silently, hanging limply in the air, unable to summon even enough strength to lift his head. ��damn you to hell.�

I don�t really see what you�re getting so upset about, the soft voice mocked in his mind, She gave herself to me a long time ago, you know that�

Are you jealous, Judeau? Are you jealous that I have the courage to do what you always wanted? To press her down against the ground and have your way with her� to taste her sweetness in every single way� to take whatever you wanted� haven�t you dreamt about it? Yearned for it?

Judeau just shook his head, too drained to raise his voice above a whisper. �Fuck you. I never wanted to hurt her. Never.�

Details. Insignificant details.

A sudden scream of agony from Caska made Judeau�s head snap up, against his better judgement. Griffith was pressing his hand to her chest, and delicate wisps of smoke rose up between his fingers. Judeau could feel the smell of burning flesh and as Griffith slowly removed his hand, he saw the red-hot mark of the demonic brand burning into the skin above her heart.

Branded as mine. Branded as my sacrifice. Just like the Hawks. Just� like you.

Every muscle in Judeau�s body suddenly cramped, as all the scars he had received during the eclipse were torn open in a burst of blood. He opened his mouth to scream but choked on the blood welling up from his lungs.

But the pain of the reopened wounds was nothing compared to the sizzling agony in his right hand. Moved by a force he couldn�t resist, his head turned and his eyes widened to stare at the agonised limb and watched as the cursed brand burned itself out through the skin of his palm. He trembled violently in pain, terror and rage and coughed up the blood that clogged his throat, roaring at the Griffith-demon:

��Damn you to hell, Griffith! We weren�t your toys ! You had no right to do this!�

I most certainly did� You all chose to follow me. You all entrusted me with your lives� You hypocrite, wouldn�t you have died for me?

��No! For the dream! I would have died for the dream I thought we shared!�

Well, then, you should be happy. Thanks to your sacrifice, I have gained a body that will allow me to continue our dream.

Judeau spat out more blood, glowering at the dark shape before him. �A body you paid for with the lives of everyone who trusted you! Is that how you want to win your kingdom? With broken confidences and betrayed hopes?�

How it is won is less relevant, don�t you think? I�ve said it before, and I know you�ve heard me: I will get my dream, no matter what the cost.

But� I will grant you two a last favour. For old times sake.

Once again the Griffith-demon pressed his hand to Caska�s heart, and her ragged breaths became a shrill, trembling scream as his fingers stabbed deeply into her chest. Red, warm blood began pumping out from under his palm, and he pressed even further in until Caska�s scream choked and faltered.

Judeau thrashed wildly against his restraints, helplessly screaming Caska�s name, no longer caring about the tears that blurred his vision and wet his face, no longer trying to keep a cool head.

When Griffith tore his hand out of her ribcage, he was holding her heart. Judeau froze for a moment of eternity, where all details became unnaturally clear.

He saw that the still beating heart in Griffith�s hand had a burn-mark in the exact shape and form of the demonic brand.

He saw how Caska�s beautiful, black eyes grew unnaturally large and the light in them slowly � so agonisingly slowly � faded away.

And died.

��No. Oh god, no. Oh god, no. Oh god, no��

She got her last wish fulfilled, he dimly heard Griffith�s voice echo in his head. She got to die with the other Hawks.

Caska�s body was only a vague, blurred shape of black, brown and deep red through the veil of Judeau�s tears, but he still could not look away. Could not stop seeing her dying face before his inner vision. Could not forget that look of disbelief and despair, as she focused her last gaze at the coldly staring Judeau-image.

Everything that ever mattered had been lost to him now.

When he felt a cold, hard hand press against his chest he closed his eyes in quiet acceptance, and felt a small twitch of disgust with himself at how pathetically grateful he was, to soon be relieved of all this pain.

But as the clawed fingertips pierced the skin above his heart, the feeling was as though molten lead was being poured into every one of his wounds, and his head was thrown back as a trembling scream of pure agony clawed its way out of his throat.

�And then, a woman�s voice unexpectedly tore through the pain:

Judeau! Judeau, wake up, damnit!

Wake up?

The agony faded, became diffuse, unreal� the tentacles that were holding him seemed to be shaking him roughly, and as he opened his eyes to gaze at the Griffith-demon, its features were blurred and confusing.

He thought he could discern a slight smile on the creature�s lips, and heard its voice calmly state into his mind:

You can not escape.

Then it was all gone, and he opened his eyes again into a deep, dusky darkness. Gripping whatever it was that was firmly holding on to his arms, he sat up so suddenly that he almost smacked his head into it. � Griffith�!�

...And then I decided not to do this chapter this way, after all, and started over on the more official one. So, the rest you know. Some times, scrapping a really interesting and good idea is what you have to do as a writer, and I do think it got better in the end. However, I hope this bonus chapter answers a few questions - Judeau was not remembering, he was dreaming. Demon-tainted dreams. THAT'S why he's thinking that Rickert is also dead. I did NOT forget that Rickert is the third survivor, thanks to Skullknight.

I hope that clears some things up, and that this bonus chapter was a worthy addition to the main story. I haven't proofread it quite as thoroughly as the others, but I probably will, in time. Feel free to comment, as usual.