± ± A very bittersweet life - V. One step closer ± ±

TUESDAY, MAY 28

whoo-hoo, my computer is fuckin' gonna explode... it didn't stop making noises since i opened it O.o...

anyway another day finished... days past so fast, i feel like i'm just gonna die really soon or stuff like that... i feel like wasting my time, in fact. anyway i spent a lot of time thinking this sunday, so that's why i'm so philosophical... anyway, i started in english class and we did another team work, as usual i was 'lazy'-ing, lol. then i had home ec and we drew some drawings for a project. i made something... well it's not really something because it was kinda abstract. some kinda flowers in a kinda frame with kinda eyes around, lol. i can't belive i'm really gonna draw that on some clothes, bcuz that's the project... uh, what else? oh, yeah, frenchy class. este and i 'socialized' again instead of working on our oral, lol. well, we tried but i was too fucked up to read, lol. so we talked about stuff and other stuff, lol. when we were laughing, the teacher asked us if we were alright, lol. it was funny, cuz este said yes while i said no^^'... and then i finished in history class, it was normal.

alright, i'm gonna restart the comp. it so fuckin' sux, i can't connect on msn or aim, argh!

Elia couldn't take it anymore @ 5:14 pm

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MONDAY, MAY 27

je suis actuellement hors connection, because mum a besoin du telephone...

j'ai passer mon examen d'educ ce matin. j'ai ete completement nulle comme d'habitude, argh. 1 manchette au premier essai et 2 au deuxieme-_-'. et 5 touches... j'suis vraiment pourrie. tk, j'ai jamais ete excellente en educ alors ca changera pas grand chose dans ma vie.

en francais on a fait un exercice pour l'examen de mercredi, c'etait facile. apres on s'est pratiquer pour l'oral, mais vu qu'on avait autre chose a dire, Este et moi on parlait de plein d'affaires. comme du possible gagnant de mr personnaliter 2002 de notre ecole, lol... c'etait ben drole, j'avais le nom de 'Antonio' stuck in my head, pc que heav a un frere et comme Este et moi on connait pas son nom, j'essayais des prenoms et j'ai conclu que Antonio est le nom qui faisait le mieux au frere de heav, lol.

en physique, on a eu un remplacant (comme tous les 2 cours, la prof s'absente souvent...), on devait repondre a des questions sur les roches et mineraux, pas besoin de dire que c'etait ennuyant... mais c'etait pas tellement forcant, vu que je passais la plupart du temps a ecrire des niaiseries pour passer le temps.

pis finalement ben j'ai eu des maths. lol, pendant le cours l'interphone avait un probleme technique et ca sonnait toujours... ca fait qu'on a perdu du temps de cours, lol. mais a un moment donner ca a arreter, alors on a continuer les notes de cours, beurk. pff, jeudi y'a un examen. argh, nervositer.

c'est chien, la semaine prochaine les exposes oraux commencent et este et moi on a meme pas encore pratiquer... pis en plus mon contrat Internet avec Supralink.Net va finir le 7 juin et mes parents sont meme pas surs qu'ils vont me laisser continuer a avoir le net :(... bon, c pas si grave, je trouverai bien autre chose a faire, j'mourrai pas...

see ya...

Elia couldn't take it anymore @ ??:?? pm (forgot to put the time...)

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SATURDAY, MAY 25

argh, i thought yesterday was friday 25 all day yesterday... i'm so lost...

mwahahaha, i went to sleep at 2:30 in the morning this night... i mean, this morning. mwahahaha, i'm so maniac. i could've stayed longer, but my mum caught me and she said 'are you crazy??'. i could've said 'yes, absolutely' but i was too lazy and brain sucked, lol...

i modified three Nirvana songs while i was at the computer yesterday, well, this morning, at 1 o'clock... i'm too lazy to put them here but i may do that one day... lol, the three songs all are directly or indirectly related to that damn fucker of heav. so, 'polly' becomes 'heav', 'in bloom': 'in life', and 'heart-shaped box': 'dandy-shaped crap' (named by Este, mwahahaha)... all i can say is: fucked up songs, because i was feeling lost, depressed, empty and alone... and so madly thinking about heav, so it gives you an idea of how dirty the songs are... *looks suspectly around*

i only slept 4 hours or something like that and i don't even feel tired, lol. well maybe i am, but i don't feel it because my brain is so 'heav'-alised...

while i was talking to Este on MSN, i realized i was the freakest girl of my whole school. i'm not saying that to be interesting (it is not interesting anyway), i really am. people are afraid of mah, mwahaha. 'look, she's the freak! quick, run away!' mwahahaha, whoo-hoo! then i'll have the school all for me! XD

i know, i'm only a troubled teen.

Elia couldn't take it anymore @ 11:54 am

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FRIDAY, MAY 24

er... sorry for yesterday's post, i was really mad... i know, i'm only a stupid bitch, i shouldn't be sorry at all... anyway...

*sigh* i'm so stupid... i can't belive i let 'him' go. y'a quelques temps, j'ai parler d'un gars qui etait dans ma classe de premiere (primaire) et que j'ai revu a mon ecole... je voulais aller lui parler, mais comme je suis si stupide, je l'ai pas fait et maintenant y vient meme plus a cette ecole (demenagement, surement). j'ai pu lui parler deux fois et je l'ai pas fait. j'ai eu une deuxieme chance, mais je l'ai pas prise. argh...

lots of emotions, boredom, unexpected things, sadness, thinking about the past and regretting, somebody makes me laugh, i'm happy... my day. my life is so messed up... can't i do a normal post for once??? sorry i can't, my posts must be boring, that's my way of writing.

j'ai fait de la couture pour la premiere fois ce matin, en economie familiale. nulle=moi. hehe^^'.

en francais, on est encore alle au multimedia. c'etait plutot ordinaire, sauf que j'ai pas pu imprimer les infos que j'ai trouvees, pc que l'ordi buggait.

bon, ca me tente pas de raconter le reste de mes platitudes, alors salut.

Elia couldn't take it anymore @ 5:21 pm

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THURSDAY, MAY 23

salut, nouveau design...

fuck, je suis ecoeuree que le monde me parle dans le dos. bande de salopes... 99.9% de la population sont des salopes, meme si ca parait pas. regardez-vous ben comme y faut, vous pouvez pas etre pur a 100%. moi aussi j'suis salope, je l'avoue, mais je sais que j'le suis ben moins que l'autre moitier de la population. hey, you know, i used to love everyone. i used to love socialize and stuff like that. i used to laugh like a teenybooper without knowing it. i used to be a wannabe popsy. damn, was i stupid... but now, bcuz of you bunch of whores i hate you all and i'm now a pure misanthropic. i never say 'hi' now, even to my friends. 'hi' is the beggining of a discussion, of a socializing, so no 'hi's for mah. and by the way, you can fuck yourself.

damn, i started in french today. on a corriger des pratiques de lecture, c'etait plate. 36/40 pis 68/75. bravo. hey, la salope qui est jalouse de moi, tu peux te faire foutre. j'me vante pas, mais une fille que je connais a parler de moi dans mon dos pis j'suis sure que c pour ca. criss, j'avoue que j'suis une jalouse maniaque, mais j'blaste po le monde pc que j'suis jalouse, fuck. ouais, j'suis de mauvaise humeur.

bon, c't'assez...

Elia couldn't take it anymore @ 5:35 pm