I, on the other hand, grew up in a "all white" community: about 45 minutes West of Downtown Chicago. Now, I say " all white", because growing up, I don't remember seeing anyone of color: No African Americans; No Hispanics/Latinos; No Asian Americans. Now, that same community reflects the vast growth of the Hispanic population that is being seen throughout the country. I don't have anything against the Hispanics: in fact it is quite the opposite is true. I actually love the culture and the people. There is much we can learn from one another, if we just open our minds and our hearts. My cousins, whom I haven't seen in several decades; are of Mexican/Polish decent. I hope that maybe someday, I will be blessed with them back in my life...but alas, I digress.
Barb's and my paths crossed that faithful day when I met her "at work". Well, I wasn't actually an employee, and she wasn't my co-worker, but let me see if I can explain this. I had worked for a social service agency; serving adults with disabilities for a couple of years, when I was presented with an opportunity. The opportunity was to run my own foster home through this same organization that I was currently working for. I jumped at the chance. As a foster parent, I was allotted a certain amount of hours per week for respite care: a time when a staff member of the agency would come in so I could "get away". I had several people who worked for me in this position, but it was hard to keep good people for my home because of the special needs of the guys I lived with. One day, when I was bringing one of my guys to his day program, there she stood: in the classroom working along side my brother; whom I previously guided to his position. I was in love; ok, maybe lust is a better word. All I knew was that I just had to meet this woman.
And that is exactly what I set out to do. I had a need to fill, both personally and professionally, so I asked the big question: would she be interested in working in my home as a respite worker (ok, not the question you may have been thinking of)? She said that she would be interested, because she needed to get some more hours. I made the arrangements for her to work for me, but it almost didn�t happen. On the day she was scheduled to work for me, she had called in, trying not to have to come in. I NEEDED this time off, so I wouldn�t let her off the hook. She did (begrudgingly) come in and work. I actually had a �date� with a lady I had been seeing (on and off) for about 9 months. I was going to break up with her: I just didn�t feel the way I should to commit to a LTR. She was a great woman, but I just didn�t have any feelings for her; no more than just platonic ones. I was in the mode of looking for someone to spend the rest of my life with.
When I returned that evening, I scheduled her next time at my home for the following week (6/8/97). On that particular day, I had scheduled two respite workers for two back-to-back shifts. Barb�s was the first shift. Also, being that this was a Saturday, I had my children at my home visiting for the weekend. I had been so impressed with Barb from the week before, I wanted to get to know her even more. So when she started, I asked her (in front of my kids), if she would be interested in going with the kids and myself to the lake (Michigan) when she got off of work. Her answer was no, initially, but she had changed her mind later on. One of the reasons for her change of heart I found out much later, was because my daughters (especially the eldest) kept asking her to come along with us. She agreed�and that was the start of our wonderful journey together.
That was the beginning of June. Prior to us getting together, I had already planned to not renew my contract for the foster home. My brother and his wife would be taking over the house starting in July. So a little after mid-month in June, I was going to hold a multi-family garage sale with some of my neighbors. We arranged to hold it on a Saturday and Sunday. The first day went fine. I actually made a few hundred dollars: selling almost all of what I had. That night though, things turned for the worst. I began feeling very sick. In fact, I was so sick, that I could barely stand up. My (now) girlfriend, Barbara, and my ex-girlfriend (who also worked for me), helped with the running of the house (making dinner, getting the guys to bed, etc.).
Barbara did more�much, much more. I became almost an invalid: having to stay in my bed. I had a high fever, and could barely lift my head. Barb stayed by my side all night, trying to reduce my fever. I was told later that my fever had reached about 104�. The next morning, Barb had to go back to work at another home. I tried to attend the garage sale that day, but I just couldn�t because of the way I felt (really bad). I excused myself, and went back to bed. I had another respite worker there that morning, and in the afternoon, Barb returned to be by my side. By that time, I was not getting any better, so it was decided by all that it would be best to get checked out at the VA Hospital (yep, I�m a Vet too). All arrangements were made, and Barb drove me to the nearby hospital�s ER. I was checked out, and admitted to the hospital with pneumonia. I remained in the hospital for 3 � days.
Barb came and visited me every day when she wasn�t working. All this, from a woman I had hardly knew. We had only been dating for about 3 weeks, and she made the sacrifice to be with me. I thank God for such a blessing as the spirit I have been given in Barbara. I have to be honest: I didn�t recognize this blessing right a way. It took me a while to realize just what I had. But when I understood what was in my heart, I asked her to marry me. This was on December 26th, at my mom�s home. I exchanged gifts with my family; but I gave the best present of all to Barbara: I gave her my love and a ring to symbolize it. The best thing is that she said YES!! About 2 � months later we were married. We have now been married for 7 years. There have been some difficult times; but more importantly are all the splendid times that we have been given to share together. I know that because of her wonderful spirit, and our faith in our Heavenly Father & Jesus Christ, we shall weather all the storms ahead.
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