Colum
I don't know how we got through my parents dying. I don't think Bridget really understood what was going on. I didn't even understand fully. I understood well enough that all I wanted to do was cry, but Bridget was always around me and I didn't want to scare her. Once gran did get her away for a bit.
I was helping gran do the dishes after supper like I used to help mum sometimes and I tried to bite my lip and hold back the tears, but they slipped past anyway. I sniffed and wiped them away with the back of my hand, and gran looked at me, then at Bridget, and said, "Bridget, go see about your Uncle Dermot and I'll bring you a piece of cake."
She left then, and gran calmly put her dish towel down and hugged me and let me cry.
Not long after that everyone came to Belfast and we went through the vigil and the rosary and the wake. The first two were peaceful and quiet, save the occasional sound of someone quietly crying, and the routine of kneeling in the cathedral and praying to God while I clutched my rosary beads was comforting. I don't remember the wake. I fell asleep long before it was over and someone had to carry Bridget and I to bed.
The funeral was small. Aunt Maggie made sure I wore a suit, and she put Bridget in a black dress and off we went to the church for the first time without our parents.
Bridget sidled up next to me in the pew and gripped my arm at every opportunity. She was afraid, and I didn't know what to do for her but let her cling to me.
We buried them in the church cemetery with a modest stone to mark the grave. One of da's friends said a short eulogy and then it was time to bury them. Uncle Dermot cried and then everyone else started crying and I couldn't help but cry too, and it was just terrible. But then I noticed Bridget was gone and I went off to find her.
She was sitting behind one of the big markers, an old cross with mold growing on the celtic knots. She had her back against the damp gray stone and her knees pulled up to her chest. I wiped my eyes some more and walked over beside her.
"It's time to go back now, Bridget," I said as I hovered over her.
She looked up at me then and said, "But I want to stay with da."
I tried to choke out the words to tell her she couldn't, but all I could do was cry. She stood up then and hugged me. She's got a temper worse than anyone I know, but she can also be the sweetest girl in the world when you need her to be.
A little later I wiped my eyes and took her hand to walk back.
"You've dirtied your dress," Aunt Maggie scolded when she saw us.
"It will wash." I replied, and squeezed Bridget's hand tightly.