From the year 10 exchange trip to Germany:

"You could be like me and just be spiteful and catty all the time."
- Tara

Tara (taking a picture): "I can't see!"
Alison: "Open your eye."

"I'm not... ssshluring."
- Carl

"I'd like a free meal, please."
- Carl

"Is this the red-cross district of Munich?"
- Renee (she meant to say the red-light distict)

Alison: "How can you be an avalanche?"
Renee: "I didn't say she wanted to be an avalanche. I said she wanted to see one!"

"Don't get my umbrella wet!"
- Miriam (So what else is an umbrella good for?)

Amy: "I think I'm a yellow person all over. Do you see people in colours?"
Sam: "I see everything in colour."

Annie: "I say... I say... I say... I'm sorry."
Nicola: "For what?"
Annie: "I don't know."

"I need a photo, I'm hungry."
- Annie (she wanted to take a photo of the food before she ate it)

"I had my head on the wrong way."
- Kimi (what the?)

Sam (sits up abruptly as a young male guard climbs onto our bus at a border-crossing): "Do we get stripsearched?"

"Kimi, move your junk!"
- Everyone (because her stuff always ended up on everyone else's beds)

Others

"I hate the word 'scrutinise,' because it makes it sound like something being screwed... screwtinise..."
- David

"Insomnia... why do I always suffer from stuff I can barely spell?"
- Freya

"I think I got sun-burn-poisoning."
- Alison

"Can I dress in drag?"
- Mr Reed

"Guys are like noodles. Some prefer them thin, some like them big. Personally I go for the packaging which is why it's usually a disappointment when I get a closer look."
- Isa

Kate's English formula for understanding the link between language, culture and values: "Ok, imagine culture and value are two sides of the road. Now, imagine that language is a chicken."

Mrs Drayton: "Lucinda... I'm still waiting for your work." (mimes throttling her while still seated at her desk)
Lucinda: "Ah, I get threatened by a lot of my teachers."

Mr Cigana: "I used to talk a lot more properly than I do now and they all thought I was a wanker."
Erin: "Really! They did?"

Mr Cigana (to year 12): "Now you're in a position of relative power, ABUSE IT!"

Most commonly heard phrases on a Friday (quiz day in German class):
1. This word wasn't on the list!
2. Can we have five more minutes?
3. Be quiet, Renee!
- Mr Ritter's list on the board

3. Giggling in the back corner from Mr Ritter.
- Renee's alternative to the above

Cathy (to Mr Ritter, who's marking tests): "You're not concentrating very hard on that, are you?
Mr Ritter: "I could do this blindfolded."
Renee: "No wonder I get such bad marks."

Belinda: Why didn't you tell us your house had a name on the front?
Renee: It does?

Heather: Do they still kill cows for milk?

UD: I thought that girl up there was Regi, but she wasn't wearing black like Regi always does. She was wearing blue jeans and a top.
Lenore: Yeah, since when does Regi wear tops?

Candice: What would you do if your man cheated on you with another man?
UD: I'D KILL THE OTHER MAN!!
Me: Nah, I'd ask for pictures.

UD: I think I need a toenail transplant.

UD: I don't lose things. They grow legs and walk off!

Griffin: Can I eat her? Will she taste like sugar?

My mother: You must be diluted.
(methinks she meant 'deluded')

Woman at convention: So, who are you dressed up as?
Vive: No one. This is us normally.

Bec: Vive, did you know I'm having an affair with you?

Person: Is this Viven?
Vive: Yes.
Person: *Vivien
Vive: Oh great, I don't even realise when my own name is spelt wrong.

Gloria: Why isn't the orange juice in the fridge?
Helmut: It wasn't me!
Gloria: Uh huh...
Helmut: I swear!
Regi: Maybe you sleepwalked so you don't remember. Or maybe it was the fridge... I mean, the juice that sleepwalked!
Gloria: Yeah, Regi, cause fridges juice-walk... I mean... Oh my god!

My mother: There are two types of wine: white, red, and rose.

Coco: Matt's a metrosexual... he's a Mattrosexual.

Vive: The real estate agent LJ Hooker has always made me think dirty things because of the last name. But I just realised, in the context of my life an LJ [LiveJournal] Hooker is even more interesting.

Vive: I think my enter key and my apostrophy key swap place to keep themselves amused at my expense.

Alex: This bread has a penis! Check out the bread's penis!

Jyin: Those motherfuckers better not give me ANOTHER biased test this year! Or I will KILL them with papercuts from it!

Gloria: I think I'm going to start charging people for being their entertainment.

Me: I steal my sisters' hair ties.
Kristy: My dad used to steal mine.

UD: I snored once on the bus yesterday.
It woke me up and I was like, "Right! Which idiot woke me up?!"
And then, "Oh my god! That was me!"

UD: Well, my legs are looking pretty weird right now. I decided to shave, then changed my mind half way. It's like a stripe effect on my legs now.

Deborah: I've learnt never to look into the mirror with glasses because then I can see all the wrinkles.

My brother: "I am a man!"
My sister: "No you're not! I'm more of a man than you are!"

Gloria: Don't poke my... I was about to say testicle. Don't poke my tonsil!

Helmut: When I grow up I want to be a limousine.
Gloria: Yes! Very good! Then I can drive you straight into a tree!
(I think he meant to say limousine driver.)

Danielle: After you die you may go up, down, wherever...
UD: I think I'll probably just stay in libido.
(Limbo, UD. Limbo.)

UD: I thought it was a hanky - I grabbed it in the dark, shoved it in my pocket, and went to uni. And when I pulled it out on the bus to blow my nose, it was a pair of my undies.

Jyin: I'm not interested in penis... Just erection.

OoO