Title: Temptation Waits
Author:
E-mail: wren13 @ gmail.com
Fandom & Pairing: Gackt Job; Gackt x Masa
Keywords: yaoi, lime, dark, bondage, self-injury
Rating: Teens
Words: 1,123
Status: Complete
Disclaimer: My story. Not my people. This is all made up, hence the term fan-fiction, and if anyone thinks this is reality they need to have their head examined. I'm not making any profit off this story, and no harm is intended.
Comments: Inspired by Garbage’s Temptation Waits, on the album Version 2.0.
It’s dark. And cold. Night settled in a long time ago and it's started raining. But I’m still here. Waiting.
I know he’s in there. I always know when he’s in there, and I know he knows too. And as usual he leaves me standing out here like he doesn’t care.
Rain falls on my head and runs down my face. Water falling from high above, like the angels are crying.
I shiver but I stay where I am. It’s his curse. I couldn’t move even if I wanted to. I was lost the moment I met him.
People walk past huddled under their umbrellas. One of them glances at me like he thinks I’m mad. And he’s right; this is madness. But I still can’t move.
In the light of the building I can see his figure now. He’s coming out of the light onto the street where I'm waiting but he ignores me.
My heart beats a little faster.
He’s so beautiful. An angel himself. Everyone’s always saying how he looks so divinely beautiful: unearthly, immortal. Even when he played out his vampire prince role in Malice Mizer he was alluring beyond what a human should be. An angel on earth. No wonder I never stood a chance of resisting him. If I wanted to in the first place.
Water trickles down my neck and chills my spine. It makes me sneeze and he turns casually to glance over at me. I shiver.
I can’t see his eyes from here but I know the look in them. Cold. An unforgiving angel. I want to see his eyes. I want to look into them. But I can’t move. He keeps me waiting and there’s nothing I can do.
A cruel angel.
No one else sees it. They only see his charm. He’s bespelled them all with his beautiful illusion, but I’ve seen the glints of madness in his eyes. I know what he is.
Finally he comes towards me. Not mercy, but his own desire. He wouldn’t ever grant me mercy.
I can see his eyes now. Blue. Icy. And he steps closer.
“Masa, what are you doing here?” As if he didn’t know.
I look at him helplessly. I want him.
I pray he will step close enough to touch.
And he stops walking.
“I…” but I can’t speak.
Did it stop raining or have I stopped feeling it? He doesn’t seem wet. He’s dry.
“Masa, you’ll catch your death standing out here,” there’s a smile on his face.
It’s so cold. I’m frozen.
In one swift move he steps closer, body pressed against mine, pushing me up against a stone wall. My head spins. His scent is everywhere, heady and overwhelming. I can’t think, only feel his body pressed up against mine.
“Masa, what do you want?” his eyes catch mine and I hold me. He won’t let go and I cling to that gaze.
Take me. Take all of me. Please, I pray.
“Tell me what you want.”
Don’t let me go. Make me yours. Make me burn until I feel nothing else anymore.
“Masa…”
I want you.
I feel sharp teeth scrape my neck and my eyes drift up to the stars. But the stars are invisible tonight.
I need you.
The deep blue above me calls, and it feels like I’m falling.
They say Lucifer was the most beautiful of all the angels.
* * * * *
Candles light his face. Shadows and light play across the smooth, perfect skin. He hovers over me. Paused.
The ropes on my wrists dig into my flesh. My wrists are
burning, but the rest of my body is cold as the night air breathes chills
across my bare skin.
Gentle hands trace my body leaving behind an ache wherever they touch. The touch of heaven and hell. Clear blue eyes rake over me:
helpless hands above the bed, my arms trembling, my neck, my chest exposed, flesh damp with sweat. He waits to see me tremble when his
hands rest on my hips.
Why is he waiting?
I won’t complain, but I can’t take the waiting. I don’t want to wait for the destruction to come. I want him to claim me, and yet he keeps me hanging on.
I’ve know for years that he was the angel that would suck the life out of me. He will bleed me dry and I will worship him for it. I gave him my heart, my body, my life.
But he’s still waiting. He won’t give me what I ask, what I crave. I have no choice but to wait. We both know that only he can give me what I need.
His fingernails scrape down my chest. Tiny pinpricks of pain.
But it isn’t enough.
Hot tears trail down my cheeks, and he kisses them away.
Why won’t he hurt me?
Take all of me. Please.
Need.
Want.
He hears but he doesn’t listen.
And I can only cry; I don’t even have anything to cry over because he won’t give it to me.
* * * * *
The eyes in the mirror are dark and hollow. I look like all my blood has been drained.
I can’t resist and lift the knife into the light. Silver, the blade glints welcomingly. I want only him, but if flesh can’t grant me my salvation, metal will. Metal is cold. Unforgiving. But it has no will to make me wait.
In the mirror I see his face watching me. Cold eyes rest on the blade in my hand, and he smiles.
He won’t give me what I want, but I can give him what he wants. Myself. My soul. I am already damned.
The metal is cold on my flesh. It chills the burning.
The sting of breaking sets me free. I will set us both free. My blood will set us free. I will grant the wish of an angel even if he won’t grant mine.
Red liquid smudges the pale skin on my arm. I am free. I can flow freely.
I spill over. Liquid warmth trickles across my skin.
My hands are shaking. I’m bleeding so much life.
But I don’t have to wait anymore.
My metallic salvation clatters to the ground and I hold my arms out to him.
He glances at them.
Doesn’t he understand? I’m offering him everything. Won’t he take it? I want him to take it, to take me.
And then I am falling.
I expect to slide into darkness, but instead I feel cold arms around me. Blue eyes
hold mine.
And I know. I know him like I always do. He won’t let me go. He will never let me go.
=====
Completed: 2003.06.19