Title: Unchanging Melody
Author:
E-mail: wren13 @ gmail.com
Fandom & Pairing: L'Arc~en~Ciel; none
Keywords: gen, drug use
Rating: Teens
Words: 838
Status: Complete
Disclaimer: I don't own these people (obviously) and I'm only
writing this for entertainment purposes. I'm not making any money off this and
I don’t intend any harm by it. The story itself is mine,
however I make no claims to its factual bases.
Status: Complete.
Comments: I really don’t remember why I wrote this. But it was at a time when
nothing I sat down to write seemed to work at all, so in desperation I tried to
write something, anything, just to get back into the process of writing again.
Unchanging Melody
By
The drumsticks were unbelievably heavy in Sakura's hands, and with each song it
became harder to keep the beat. Each movement shot pain through his body when
the bones in his joints ground together, which wasn't helping any.
It had been two days since his last hit... his last before he went clean, but
now the pain had gotten to the stage that it reached into his bones. It tore
with furious agony through his whole body, making aching muscles tighten,
stilting his movements.
Sakura shot a dark glare at his drum kit. He knew his drumming was getting
worse, but with the explosions in his nerves he couldn't help it. Fuck it all.
Who cared? He just wanted to get out of here. His arms and legs screamed agony
at the motions of drumming, and he sucked in his breath sharply.
The song ended. Finally!
He wasn't particularly surprised by the questioning look Tetsu
threw in his direction - he'd played badly, throwing them all off - but it was
Hyde that voiced what they all must have been thinking. "Sakura, is
something wrong?"
Fuck! I feel like hell, and it's only going to get worse.
Had to get out of there!
"I'm fine," he lied blandly, wiping the sweat from his forehead. But
even as he said it, he rose from his seat and put down the drumsticks. Screw
practice.
As he walked out the door he heard Tetsu sigh is
resignation. "Okay, take a break everyone."
Their manager called out after him. "Sakura! Where are you going?" but he didn't bother answering, not out
of rudeness, but out of apathy. He didn't want to be talked at, or
anyone fussing over him, not while he felt like this. He just had to get rid of
the pain. That was all.
Sweat coated his body making his skin damp and clammy, and his steps down the
hall were stiff. But at least he'd come prepared...
just one more to help him down...
White walls tunnelled his steps towards the one place he could escape to.
The bathroom was empty when Sakura entered and immediately he locked the door
behind him, light from the smoky-glass window making the walls reflect bright
white. His hands stopped trembling as he emptied his pockets on the sink,
necessity steadying them.
He never thought about the desperation that had lead to this need of shooting
up in the studio toilets with his friends and band-mates just down the hall. It
didn't matter.
* * * * *
"Sakura? Are you alright?" Hyde's voice
sounded worried through the door. Sakura could almost envisage him out there in
the corridor fretting. Let him. He could stand there for all eternity for all
he cared. Couldn't he just go away?
At another time the thought might have roused him, but with the stuff in his
system all he could feel was the peaceful sense of tranquillity settled over
him. The knots in his arms were finally uncramping
and his mind drifted in a relaxed nirvana. Intellectually his mind informed him
he shouldn't be doing this, but he couldn't bring himself to care. Now that the
world's problems suddenly seemed so comfortably distant, there was nothing to
worry about. Not the band, not their practice, not his friend standing out there
worrying about him. Only this peaceful feeling of floating in
cotton wool.
He had promised himself that this would be the last one; the thought never
crossed his self-satisfied mind that the sickness would be back, that he'd use
that last shot as an excuse to help him down... and it would never be the last.
There was really no reason to move and nothing worth moving for, so he could
have quite comfortably stayed there in his dreamy haze. Then again he may as
well get back to the studio, it was all the same.
His face stared back at him from the mirror. The light made his reddened eyes
hurt, but his face had lost that haunted, pained look. Content he turned away,
spoon and lighter hidden neatly in the deep pockets of his jacket, dumping the
spent syringe into the bin by the door.
Hyde nearly ran into him as he came outside. "Sakura!"
There was deep worry in the vocalist's eyes but Sakura ignored it and gazed off
down the corridor instead.
"Are you ok? You looked..." his voice trailed off a little uncertainly.
"I was just felt sick. Don't worry, I'm alright now." And it wasn't
even a complete lie.
Hyde hesitated a moment searching the drummer's face, looking for affirmation,
then he smiled, apparently relieved. "Good. We were worried. You didn't look
like yourself for a moment."
It was a statement Sakura didn't bother to respond to, and Hyde didn't seem to
expect an answer. Instead they headed back to the studio together, Hyde
chatting all the way. Back to practice, and back to the way things were supposed
to be. As though nothing could ever change them.
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Completed: 2002.08.25