Instead of just part 4, I tacked on Part 5. Finale time! LIke Magic, I will post the whole thing after editing it, a sort of final copy with all the changes necessary. The titles will be (mercifully) cut out and I vow to never, ever do that again! "I have a problem," Princess Serena announced to the senshi. They were relaxing in her private quarters in the palace. "What is it?" sighed Mars, expecting to be notified of a broken nail or other pressing problem. Princesses didn't usually get what other people considered real problems. "I can't decide between Prince Darian and Prince Xeryus!" she sighed, then giggled. "What, you love them both?" Venus stared incredulously. "Yes. Darian has that wholesome, dependable puppy dog thing going, he's so eager. And a little naive. I think it's the first time he's tried any sort of romance." "But Xeryus?" Jupiter prompted, leaning forward with interest. "He has a sort of flair. He's exciting. He's confident. And he has chivalrous, romantic manners." "They both like you and you like both of them," Mercury concluded. "And they're both handsome," Venus added. "And they're both quite smart," Mercury stated. "Boy, you really do have a horrible problem there!" Jupiter snorted. "Mother is hinting she wouldn't mind if I married either, as a merger between Earth and the Moon." Serena replied with a sigh. "You're actually pretty lucky. We can't marry, even if we find the guy of our dreams," Mars said quietly. "Either way, both of them are really cute!" Jupiter said cheerily. "Still, I cannot help but feel a little angry that I have to marry one. It is like this is my duty! Sometimes I wish I weren't a princess and could be more like you guys." "What? A Senshi?" Mercury said. They all exchanged glances. "You wouldn't like it. All the fighting, the worrying..." Mars stated. "Plus you have to take care of a love-sick princess!" Venus said playfully. Princess Serenity promptly threw a pillow in her face. Venus retaliated, and soon the chambers of the princess was filled with giggling laughter and flying pillows. * * * * Prince Xeryus stealthily entered his brother's chambers and crept up to Darian's bedside. He watched Darian sleep peacefully for a while. It was a lucky thing the local healers had been able to remedy the poison. It had made Darian very weak, though, and he had been sleeping steadily for two days now. He had very nearly been a goner, and it would be a while before he was able to do any strenuous activity. Xeryus shrugged and placed his hands on Darian's chest. He shut his eyes and began to concentrate. When he was sure he was ready to begin, his eyes snapped open again. A red glow shone in them. Xeryus channeled his power into Darian and pulled. He strained for several long minutes before he felt the Sentinel Rose give a little. After more steady tugging, the glowing rose of red energy was hovering half in and half out of Prince Darian's chest. Xeryus smiled gleefully. "Just what do you think you're doing?" a voice demanded from the door. Shocked (forgot to lock it!), Xeryus spun around to see Silantro standing in the doorway, holding a potted plant and frowning. The Rose sank slowly back into Darian's body. Xeryus grinned, "I wasn't doing a thing, just visiting my dear convalescent brother here." "Like hell you were. What the hell are you doing?" Silantro dropped the plant and drew his sabre. Xeryus sighed again and waved his hand in Silantro's general direction. Silantro froze for a second and got a glazed look in his eye. "I'm just leaving. Maybe you should pick up the pieces of that potted plant you dropped." "I think I'll pick up the pieces of this plant," Silantro said cheerily, "I seemed to have dropped it. Silly me!" "It's always nice to see you, dear Silantro!" Xeryus chuckled softly. "It's terrific to see you, Prince Xeryus! I like my bum!" Silantro replied. Xeryus was still chuckling as he walked out of the room. * * * * The senshi stood before Queen Serenity in an ornate chamber. Queen Serenity's two cat advisors, Artemis and Luna, were also present. "Senshi, your roles have become more important than ever. Princess Serena has been attacked twice now. We have to keep our guard up." "We are sorry we couldn't be there when she was attacked. We should have followed," Venus said, downcast. "The threat was taken care of both times by the Earth Princes. Besides, the attack got through all the palace defenses. That hasn't happened for many years," Luna said comfortingly. "I could not bear it if something happened to the princess!" Mars said with feeling, "She is our responsibility. As Senshi, we must protect her at all costs!" "Yes," agreed Artemis, "The Princess has been in danger quite a lot lately. We all need to be on our toes from now on, and wary." The Senshi nodded in agreement. "We won't be caught off guard again," Jupiter promised. "The Princess will be safe," added Mercury. * * * * Darian adjusted his shirt carefully and checked his hair. Today, he and Xeryus would be escorting Princess Serenity and the Senshi around the Kingdom. He wanted to look his best. The poison was pretty much gone and he felt almost back to normal now. He trotted off to the stables, where he carefully selected the finest bred and gentlest horses he could find. He was just brushing the last one when Xeryus and the Moon Kingdom retinue appeared. "All set?" Xeryus asked cheerily. Darian nodded. The Senshi each selected a horse to their liking and mounted, with a little help from the two princes. Serena stood to one side, looking slightly worried. Xeryus bowed to her. "Don't worry, Serena. You can ride with me and you'll be perfectly safe." She nodded with a smile as he mounted. "Darian, a little help getting the Princess up here?" he called to Darian, who had immersed himself angrily in checking his saddle. Darian stalked over, flushed. Why hadn't he thought of that? None of the Moon Kingdom people had been riding before. The princess must be especially nervous. He helped her mount in the saddle with Xeryus. She had to sit side saddle, as befitting a lady of her standing. The senshi were warriors and could do anything they pleased (within limits) and rode normally. Serena didn't seem to mind as Xeryus put an arm around her to keep her steady. Darian chewed his lip and mounted his black charger, fully recovered from its encounter with the man from the Negaverse last week. He rode out to the lead of the small party, giving the new riders help when they needed it. Xeryus paid the others little attention and was talking to the princess again. Darian sighed and realized this was going to be a very long day if things kept up like this. The Moon Kingdom retinue was as wide eyed with wonder as they rode through the forest paths to the city proper. They had never seen trees or grass like this, had never felt wind blowing in their hair. Darian smiled. Their wonder at his Earth made him see it again for the first time. His knowledge of the trails was incredible, and he made sure to take the most scenic route to their destination. After a stop at midday in a clearing for a picnic, which incidentally was the very same clearing Darian had fought the mysterious man with the poleaxe, they finally arrived at the city proper. At this point in the proceedings, Darian was getting depressed due to the fact the princess was enjoying herself thoroughly. This was unfortunate because she was spending all her time with Xeryus. Darian had barely had any chances at all to speak with her or even look at her, heading off the line as he was. "Darian, why don't we dismount here and go through the marketplace? I'm sure the Senshi and Princess Serena would love a chance to do some shopping here," Xeryus called out. The Moon Kingdom retinue seemed to like the idea. "Agreed." replied Darian as he stopped the procession. "My rear was getting sore anyways," Mercury confided to the others, which made them giggle. "Same with the rest of us I think," Venus said. "I rather like these 'horses'," Jupiter said thoughtfully as she slid off her mount and patted its nose. "Say, Darian, there's a stable over there! Why don't you be a nice guy and take the horses there while the ladies and I get started?" Xeryus grinned wickedly. Darian ground his teeth in frustration. "Allright," he muttered as he grabbed the lead reins on Xeryus' horse as his brother dismounted, Serena in his arms. He set her lightly on her feet. Darian stomped off to stable the horses as the rest of the group headed off in the opposite direction to do investigate the bustling marketplace. He had just paid the grinning handler and was leading the last horse, his own, into the corral when he heard the screaming. He spun to see the crowds scattering, running away from the strange creatures that had suddenly appeared, knocking over carts and stalls and slaughtering any who stood in their way. The creatures seemed to be short dog-like humanoids, with short black or brown fur, and they carried swords. Their leader was larger than the rest of them, standing six feet tall, and wore armor. Darian's eyes narrowed and he swung up onto his steed, busting out of the corral's entry gate (nearly running over the handler in the process) and thundered towards the Darkling commander, drawing his sword. The senshi had started attacking the Darklings to hold them off so they couldn't swarm the princess. Xeryus was in the fray as well, his twin rapiers whirling in a deadly dance. Silantro popped up from behind a stall, munching an apple as he watched with interest. When he finished his snack, he tossed aside the core and jumped into the fray, sabre flashing in the sun. Princess Serena was just about to get decapitated by a Darkling when Darian rode by, swinging her onto the horse and out of the way as he felled the Darkling with a rose. He slashed his way through the Darklings, cutting a wide swath to ride his charger through with the roses, until he came to Silantro, who was prancing about, slashing with his sabre. Darian thrust Serena into Silantro's arms. "Get her out of here!" Silantro grinned at the Princess. Darian rode back into the melee, hit a Darkling, then seemed to think better of something and turned his horse back around to ride back up to Silantro. He waggled his finger at the dandy. "And don't you try anything funny!" he warned before he galloped off to make his way to the Darkling commander. Meanwhile, the Scouts were keeping things relatively under control. Xeryus was taking care of about four at once, keeping the Darklings from attacking the Senshi hand-to-hand. Darian saw that yet more Darklings were emerging from all over. He sighed and realized he'd have to kill the commander to end the fight. He spurred his horse on and charged the main body of Darklings head on. Darian said a silent prayer as he flung his arm back and then swung it in a wide arc, roses spraying in a fan formation, cutting down the first rank of Darklings. He cut down a few stragglers with his sword, then pulled the reins sharply to the left as he leapt clear of his steed and rolled, quickly regaining his footing. His horse spun off to the left, out of harm's way. Darian wished he had worn his armor as he swung his blade, killing several Darklings at a time. He could use the protection. An attack that would have cut his leg was deflected by a slender rapier. Darian saw Xeryus, fighting alongside him. "We take the commander together," his brother stated. Darian nodded as he slashed and dodged. In the meanwhile, Silantro had lead Serena a safe distance away and the pair turned to watch the battle. Silantro withdrew another apple he had pinched from an overturned cart and polished it on his shirt. Serena continued to watch in admiration. "They're so brave, aren't they?" she said. "Right, little lady!" Silantro agreed as he munched on his apple noisily, "But I think they're goners!" Finally, the princes reached their foe. Darian leapt up into the air, slashing in a downward arc at the commander's head. He blocked easily, but this gave Xeryus a chance to slam his blades into the warrior's back. Darian landed nimbly and swung as well. The commander countered, grimacing in pain, and Darian chuckled as he drove his boot, low, under the blade. The commander wheezed. It appeared Darklings had the same weaknesses as humans in some cases. "That was dirty," Xeryus stated as he continued to whirl with his rapiers. "You've never been in a bar fight, have you?" Darian remarked, flinging a rose. "No! Hey, you're not allowed to go into bars!" Xeryus protested. "Er ... Silantro's a terrible influence on me!" Darian replied. Xeryus raised his eyebrows as he plunged his rapiers into the Darkling, which dissolved into a fine black mist and dispersed, as did the rest of the lot. Darian wiped his brow. "That took long enough!" Silantro commented, shrugging. "Why is it that every time I go out with those two, I get attacked!" Serena screamed. Silantro patted her shoulder. "I feel your pain!" he said, "But at least no one called you gay." * * * * A few nights later, Darian lay awake in bed, staring at the moon. He pondered Princess Serena. Darian thought that at this point, he was just about even with Xeryus in her opinion. He tried to figure out what he could do to win her over. He now thought he had finally found his queen, and he didn't want his brother to steal her away. The one perfect match for me and my own brother has to try to court her, too. Why her? It wasn't like Xeryus needed a queen. He wasn't tied up in the same princely duties as Darian was. Xeryus wasn't required to ever marry. It was times like this that Darian wished he was a normal person, free to do as he wished. He wondered if things would be different between Serena and him if only they weren't royalty. If only they weren't royalty. Darian sat up and smiled. * * * * Perhaps an hour later, Darian was outside the Moon Palace's wall, trying to remember which window was Serena's. It was on the third story. In other days, Darian would have headed to the stairs at this point. But now he had the Sentinel Rose. Prince Darian crouched and leapt easily onto the balcony. He smiled, pleased with himself. Even though he was relatively used to the Rose's power boost by now, it still surprised even him when he did stuff like that. He walked over to the window, conjured up a rose, and placed it on the sill. He rapped the glass lightly. Supressing a giggle, he jumped off the balcony, landing nimbly on his feet, and waited below in plain sight. Within a few minutes, Serena appeared at the window, sleepy-eyed. "Prince Darian?" she called down softly, with disbelief. "Want to go on a midnight ride?" he asked with a roguish grin. "I'm not allowed to do that!" Serena gasped. "Exactly my point!" Serena smiled, slowly. "Wait one minute." She appeared again and climbed out the window, clad in a pale pink summer dress, hardly princess-like attire. He wasn't wearing his armor, just his usual grubby riding clothes. She sat on the edge of the balcony and peered down at him. "Don't worry, I'll catch you," he promised. She hesitated a moment longer, then took a deep breath and dropped off the balcony. He leapt up, intercepted her in mid-fall (she gasped in wonder) and landed gracefully on his feet. Minutes later, they had teleported back to Earth and raced down the forest paths, Darian's black charger even with her chestnut one. Finally, she could forget she was a princess and ride like everyone else could. Finally, she was with someone who could understand her secret wish not to be royalty. Not to have to deal with politics, protocol, manners, and elegance. Someone who understood the definition of the word, 'fun' and thought it should apply to princes and princesses as well. Someone whom she could fall in love with. * * * * Darian hummed a cheery tune as he washed up the next morning, tired from last night. After they had tired the horses out sufficiently, they had talked the whole night through. He was dead on his feet but extremely happy. Someone knocked on his door. "Come in!" he shouted and he combed his hair. Silantro walked in. "My, aren't we cheery!" he remarked. "Yes, we are!" "What is it? Spend the night with Serena?" Silantro laughed. "Matter of fact, I did! But get your mind out of the gutter, we went for a ride in the forest, then talked. But that wasn't what you came for. What's up?" "Good job, Darian!" Silantro said with admiration, "I didn't think you had it in you. You're right, I have to ask you a favour." "I'm in a good mood, shoot." "It's my sister's birthday today, and I have her present here," Silantro showed Darian a small wrapped box, "but, I can't get it to her in the Moon Kingdom. I really haven't been able to see her or have any contact with her ever since she went there. You can teleport there anytime, so I was thinking..." "No problem, I'll deliver your gift. Actually, Wren may be able to help me with something." Darian's walked over to a small box on his dresser, withdrew a small figurine, and dropped it into his pocket. * * * * Darian quietly crept through the window of the Magist's quarters. He had been unable to use the hallways, for some reason the guards wouldn't let him by, though Serenity assured him he could go wherever he wished. (Excepting obvious places, like the treasury. But in a Kingdom so full of magic, it didn't seem likely that you would be able to just stumble on something like that.) Darian really wondered about this and thought it was suspicious. He also wondered if the Moon Kingdom was as idyllic as it seemed at first glance. A girl in brown robes walked up to him in surprise. Darian did a double take. The last time he had seen her was when she had been ten years old. The brown-haired girl had grown up since then. He wouldn't have recognized her at all without the eyes. One greenish-gray, the other grayish- green. No one else had eyes like that. "Prince Darian?" she whispered as she did a small curtsy. "Hi, Wren! Guess what I've got!" "Uh?" "It's your birthday and Silantro sent me with this!" he thrust the box at her. As she withdrew her hands from her sleeves and took it, he noticed the ugly greenish bruise on her hand. Catching her wrist, he peered at it. It was pretty bad. "What happened? Who did this to you?" Wren flushed and drew her hand away. She touched her cheek, where Darian saw another broad bruise that had almost healed. She turned away. "Was it your master? The Magist?" She wiped her hand across her eyes, then ran over to him, grabbing his shoulders. She opened her mouth to speak but stopped, perplexed, and released his shoulders. She backed off a few steps. "What? What is it?" "Magic. The Rose, the Sentinel Rose ... it's tainted." "Tainted?" "The Magist tampered with it. I can try to fix it! I must! You could be our last hope!" "What do you mean?" Darian was getting scared. "The Magist works for the Negaverse, I don't believe you've heard of it. The plan to destroy the Moon Kingdom, but first they will take over Earth! They have to be stopped!" "I have heard of the Negaverse, I was attacked by a man from there-" "In a gray uniform?" "Yes." "I've seen them, They are the generals, the followers of Queen Beryl, avatar of Empress Metallia!" Darian drew the statuette from his pocket and held it out to her. She was loathe to touch it. "That's a statue the Magist made. The original idea came from a strong mage from the Negaverse, Bowenite. The Magist can animate them into powerful creatures that serve him. I've seen it done." "I've been attacked by this one twice. Ha, now I know who's out to get me! I'd love to slap him silly right now. But then, I'm not stupid. He'd pulverize me." "Unfortunately, you're right. He's far too powerful for you. And the Rose must be purged of dark energy, right away!" Without another word, she placed her hands on his breastplate and chanted. "Orillanae ast Zeraie/ Faillus asper doram!" Darian saw the red glowing outline of the rose light for a moment. A few wisps of dark energy came floating out from it and wafted away on a small breeze harmlessly. Wren looked noticably tired. "It should work better now," she sighed, "Now you must go and warn your Kingdom." "What will you do? I can't leave you here, he'll hurt you more!" Darian protested. "I must stay. There is something I have to do, so he can be destroyed," she said grimly. Darian hesitated, but concentrated and teleported away. Wren waited until she was sure he was gone. She had been so close to him... she turned her attention to the gaily-wrapped box and lifted the lid. inside was a pendant on a delicate gold chain. It was a small half-sphere of polished greenish gray gemstone, set in gold. Wren held the medallion up to the sunlight and watched the colours shift from green-gray to gray-green. She smiled softly. Silantro alway gave the best gifts. * * * * Darian strode into the Great Hall, where his father sat on the throne. "Father! I have important news!" he said after he had bowed, as per courtly ettiquette. "Yes, Prince Darian?" "The Negaverse is not the Moon Kingdom, though one of their agents is there. That agent is none other than the Magist. He tainted the Sentinel Rose with dark energy and sent those creatures that attacked me." "He is very powerful," King Aldaric stated. "Yes ... we have to muster the army! Queen Beryl plans to take over our Kingdom and use our armies with her own to destroy the Moon! We have to act before she does!" Darian said passionately. "I'm afraid the takeover has already started." his father said clamly as he stood. Darian paled. He had sensed things were not normal around the castle lately, and it appeared he had been right... "The Queen is powerful. The Queen shall lead us all towards our glorious victory against the moon! We shall have the Silver Imperium Crystal! We shall be immortal! Think, Darian, to never die! To never age!" His father said emotionally. Darian had never seen him like this. "MOM'S going to do all that?" he said, not thinking straight. "No, you fool!" "You did say the Queen!" "Queen Beryl! My beautiful master! I shall lead my armies to help her defeat the Moon Kingdom, earning a glorious place by her side!" "Uh, is mom okay with that?" "She has also seen the glory to be had in Queen Beryl's service! As will you, Prince Darian!" King Aldaric laughed and leveled his hands at Darian's chest level. A ball of black energy shot from his hands and burst over the stunned prince. The black energy flowed around him but he felt no different. It would take constant energy from Queen Beryl herself to turn his noble spirit to her side... "It didn't work!" he said, "The Sentinel Rose protects me. Wren cleansed the dark energy from it." "If you shall not serve us, you will die!" King Aldaric raised his sword over his head to strike his son down. Darian swore and drew his own blade to parry... but the attack never came! There was a flash of red light as a red energy beam thundered into King Aldaric's back. As the King toppled, Darian saw Xeryus standing behind, arms raised, eyes glowing red. "Xeryus!" he said in puzzlement. How had his brother done that? Darian felt a chill as the red glow did't fade. His brother certainly wasn't harmless now. "One down, one to go!" Xeryus grinned. His eyes glowed yet brighter. * * * * Silantro whistled as he walked down the marble corridors. He passed Darian's room, but Darian wasn't there. He decided to cross over to Xeryus' chambers to see if the young prince was around and perhaps knew what Darian was up to. Xeryus... why was he suddenly thinking of his bum? Strange. Another unexpected visit to Darian's room .... The Sentinel Rose ... Silantro's eyes widened as the wall that blocked his memory suddenly came crashing down. "That little bastard!" he screamed as he drew his sabre and ran off down the halls, swearing his head off, silk shirt rustling. * * * * "They brainwashed you, too?" Darian demanded, shocked. He had a feeling, had wondered for the past while now, but hoped it wasn't true. "No! I want the Kingdom! I will rule Earth! All that stands in my way is YOU, dear brother! And I have the power to dispose of you now! I am no longer weak!" He raised his fists over his head, each hand glowing with the eerie red light again. "You fool!" a clear feminine voice rang out as Wren Bladesemmer materialized next to Prince Darian. She was weak, singed and battered and clutched a remarkable book to her chest, a gigantic brown spellbook with gold trimmings. "If the Negaverse prevails, there will *be* no Kingdom for you to rule!" "Please, Xeryus! Don't do this! If you ever loved Serena-" "I will not be stopped by the likes of either of you! Prepare to DIE!" Xeryus's hands snapped down and the red energy beam shot forth! Darian and Wren started to duck but they knew it was over. There was a blue and gold streak in front of them, and the red energy burst. Silantro Bladesemmer had thrown himself in the path of Xeryus' energy bolt to protect his dearest friend and sister. He had paid the price. "Noooooooo!" screamed Darian and Wren as one as they fell next to the slender young man. "Wren .... Darian," Silantro gasped, raising a weak hand. Wren and Darian grabbed hold of it. "Damn energy beam... ruined the shirt... Not the two people I love most... He can't take the only two ... I ever loved ..." Silantro whispered, and closed his eyes a final time. Wren sobbed bitterly and cradled her brother's hand in her own. Darian's tears fell also, as he brushed Silantro's usually impeccable hair back from his friend's brow. "Touching, but the dandy's efforts were futile!" a smooth, cold voice called down from above. Eight figures in gray uniforms floated down from the ceiling. The speaker, a man with long green-tinged hair and a blue trimmed uniform, laughed. "Silly humans! Sacrificing yourself and for what, nothing!" laughed the one in the green trimmed uniform with a ponytail of brown hair. "Since you will not join Queen Beryl, you will have to die!" said the figure with a long black braid. "Hi again!" said the one with long blonde hair as he waved cheerily to Darian. The pink-haired one cackled and swung her sword. "Bowenite, Scheelite, Variscite, Lucinite! You will take care of these fools! Return in time to lead the armies with Zoicite, Nefryte, Malachite, and I!" ordered the one with short blond hair. "Yes, Lord Jedite," said the silver haired one, Variscite. Jedite, Nephlite, Zoisite, and Malachite winked out as they teleported away. The four remaining Negaverse commanders landed. "Queen Beryl shall rule the Earth and the Moon Kingdom!" said Variscite. "Now, you shall die," intoned Bowenite. "I think not!" replied Xeryus as he knocked Wren and Darian away with superhuman strength. They went flying across the Great Hall, slamming into the wall at the opposite end. Xeryus clutched his fists to his chest, closed his eyes and shook as the magical wild forces he had flowing inside him surged to new peaks. His body began to glow with red energy, his hair rising as the power covered him. His eyes snapped open, two pools of red light. He growled as the red light grew stronger and stronger and stronger, encasing him in a red energy globe, which expanded at a rapid rate. Wren's eyes widened as she recognized what he was about to do. Darian somehow knew and threw himself over her to protect her. "Noooo!" she shrieked in denial for a second time. The globe suddenly expanded, burst apart, slamming the Negaverse commanders into the air, shredding and disintegrating the colourful banners hanging from the rafters, vaporizing the valiant Silantro's corpse and the corpse of King Aldaric, blowing out the remarkable stain-glass window in a flash of crimson light which blinded all present. "You may have won here, but you will not survive the attack on the Moon Kingdom!" screamed Bowenite as he and his mortally injured companions teleported away. Sparkling red motes of energy fell like snow in the Great Hall. "Xeryus..." Darian whispered. There wasn't even a body. "He let himself be utterly consumed in the magic he couldn't control," whispered Wren, "A magic Wild Talent." Prince Darian regarded the total destruction of the Great Hall. "They must be warned... the Moon Kingdom will be next," he said grimly. "At least the Magist won't be a part of the attack," Wren said, "Not without this, the Codex...." The ancient book was unharmed. "Serena and the Moon Kingdom must be warned..." The warm pink energy of the Sentinel Rose flowed over them as they teleported to the Moon Kingdom, to bring their warning of the destruction to come... "Goodbye, my brother. You have redeemed yourself in your final act." And we all know what happened next. A Small Pronunciation Guide Xeryus = Zeer-ee-us Silantro = Sil-ann-trow Magist = Mayge-ist Magus = Mayge-us Bowenite = Bow(like rainBOW)-n-ite Scheelite = Ski-lite (much like Scheel-o) Lucinite = Lue-sin-ite Variscite = Vair-iss-site -- *Frighteningly, at any given moment, an hour has just passed. *Most states fit so closely together that almost no space is wasted. *King Edward the Seventh frequently asked total strangers "not to meddle with his spoons". -ABRELL AND THOMPSON'S ACTUAL FACTS