Nerds Ruined My Life!
A hot November morning, I decide to go and visit James Hooper aka Boo Boo, who had recently begun a job as a Student Advisory person at Massey University, Palmerston North's nerd mecca. It took me nearly two hours to traipse there, and the trip in the sweltering heat was made easier by the sounds of Midnight Oil and REM on my iPod, and a few cigarettes every so often. As I got closer to nerd haven, I was being constantly being nearly run over by students on bikes. Cyclists who had their own cycling lane, yet chose to ride on the footpath and attempt to bowl me over. Since I was cruising to the electronic sounds of Ladytron at the time, the attempted attacks were not anticipated in any way and I had to yell out "FUCKEN HELL, NERD!!" as they biked off into the distance on their rusty, weatherbeaten Raleighs. As I neared the main nerdy complex, I felt a bout of nausea ensuing - yes, the fact I was in Geekdom was making me gag. This was so uncool for me. Everyone was wearing tatty striped polo shirts and jandals...no style whatsoever. These people actually looked like losers!!! I felt an immense sense of embarrassment to know that James, although he wasn't studying, was working there amongst these losers. I was getting pretty sick of me having to call him a nerd all the time and I wanted things to change. Waiting for James to come out on his lunchbreak, I sat on a seat and started smoking. But alas!! Apparently nerds had a problem with niccotine, and I was told to stubb it out because I was too close to a building! I am currently going through a phase of threatening to kill people via gun, and I wasn't taking any of this bullshit. I had walked a long way and was now trying to relax with a cigarette. "Don't you fucken tell me what to do, do you want me to get my gun and blow your fucken brains out?" is what I said. Then I made out to reach into my bag. The bogan walked away. Pussy. For the record I don't have a gun, and nerds should hope I never get one because I would actually use it. I don't really care about going to jail. If I be really bad I may get life, so maybe I could have a tv in my cell or the net. Whoopee!! James' lunchbreak was reportedly at 12.45pm. I looked at my watch. 12.48!! WTF!!!!! Was the nerd staying in on his lunchbreak?? wtf!! I was holding back he vomit, and then he came out. As we were walking to find somewhere to sit, I picked fights with all, yelling out "NEEE-RRRRRRD" and the like. They didn't even respond! Nerds are wimps man. We sat down on a table in the middle of a field, and I noticed there was no litter, ANYWHERE!! I couldn't believe it. A litterer by name and nature, I kicked off the process by tossing my now empty packet of cigarettes onto the ground. Practically only 15 mins later, James had to go back in to his loser hole. What he does is, umm, nerd stuff. That's all I can tell you, umm it's like he'll advise people what degree to take or something similar. He is in a training group with 4 other nerds. This is a JOB, yet they turn up wearing jeans and hoodies!!! Every job I have ever been in has a corporate dress code. James had described the others - a try hard guy who called himself "Nat" (you know, the type who wear baggy clothes with sunglasses on their head), a horse faced girl, a grossly fat girl, and a quiet girl. Well, I was looking forward to laying my eyes on these freaks, and I was in luck. I was sitting down on a seat and I saw a group of really scruffy people coming out of a door. I looked away, thinking these were obviously students. I was then surprised that stylish James was following them at the back!! He stood out so much. Even though I have serious problems with him at the moment because he works at a university, at least he looked good. I went up to him, and all the losers stared at me. Just because I looked good and they didnt!! They were having to walk to somewhere, as part of training. So this wasn't a break or anything, but I followed James anyway, walking right behind the freaks. They looked so messy. I said in a loud voice "You were so right, they ARE nerds!", and "Why are they so scruffy", and "OMG what's with her shoes?", and "These nerds are freaking me out". James laughed but didn't actually say anything to support my words!!! Some shit about having to work with them or something...whatever. Pleased about knowing I insulted them, I waited on another seat until James came back. These old men came by to empty the rubbish bins, and they asked me had I finished my exams. I replied with "Ohhh no, I don't go here! Waaayyy too nerdy for me". He said "I know where you're coming from there". So I'm not the only one who thinks universities are nerdy! James came back about 30 mins later, and the others were walking in front of him. The blond bitch looked me up and down and gave me the evils, and the hideously fat girl looked at me and laughed!!!!! This fucken set me off!!! How dare they fucken do that!! So I screamed something about blond skanks and obsese freaks, and they turned around again but kept walking. I was about to run after them and bash their brains out but James stopped me. I was in angry tears, saying "Didn't you fucken see what they did???" and he hadnt, obviously, but apparently believed me about it. I was crying like anything, and he YELLED AT ME, saying "LOOK LADY I'M AT WORK I HAVE TO CATCH UP WITH THE OTHERS OR I'LL GET LOST", and he RAN OFF and left me on the seat crying. Totally beside myself, I trudged to a dark corner of a cafe and cried my heart out. I wanted to blow up the university so bad, but all I had in my bag was some mouldy cheese. I wiped it all over a building. It was all I could do! Confused and disoriented, I then stumble to an open field, where I lie down and attempt to sleep. My life had been ruined by nerds, and I have a problem with James working with people who were nasty to me. Wannabe skanks always have problems with actual skanks like myself, and fat people have ALWAYS started shit with me. For the record, the main people who have problems with me are fat people and goths. I guess they hate Barbie clones. Well I don't like fat people or goths either! Let's all wear black everyday!! Pathetic. Later on in the day, I got extremely angry with James. A man basher at heart, I whacked him in the head a few times and guess what he did!!! He pushed me away from him and I went falling back into the table and I whacked my back on the table. As I result I am most handicapped. Nerds have ruined my life, and they will pay. If I ever fucking see that fat freak again I'm going to give her a hiding she'll never forget and I fucken mean it. Yes, I hate nerds. If anyone is reading this and they go to a university, then no offense, and I am not talking about you. You know I love you dearly. I am talking about Massey University nerds. The most uncool geeks in the universe. Everyone knows that (in New Zealand anyway) people who have a degree can't even get a job in their profession, thats why they all work in call centres instead. Practically everyone at Studylink had a degree in some shit but they couldnt get a job for it! Haha. Serves them right for being nerdy in the first place. I will be depressed until March 17th when this job runs out for James. He has a problem with me even laughing when he talks of getting the sack!!! Well James I hope you do, I used to think of you as cool.......now this?!??!! You have torn up my world by working at a university, and the tears of betrayal will stream down my non-graduate face for life.