It’s all Gemmas fault

 

Crossover

The rain beat a steady rhythm on the cobbled streets of Ankh-Morpork, trickling down broken gutters and dripping off rotten window sills to form puddles in the street. Through one of these many puddles a man trudged, wrapped up in a dark black cloak and hood he strode with a purposeful march towards the largest building in the sprawling metropolis, the Unseen University.

Just before the university lay Sator Square, the usual thriving marketplace of the city but this evening the stalls were silent and deserted. Above the noise of the driving rain came seven long sonorous silences as Old Tom the Unseen University’s magical bell counted out the hour in it’s particular way[1]. As the last silence rolled across the city a shadowed figure detached itself from the shadows and stood behind the hooded figure causing him to tense momentarily.

“Relax Thu, it’s me” whispered the shadowed figure

The hooded figure turned around to face the speaker and laughed quietly

“Pro, how many times have I told you never to sneak up on me like that?”

“I’ve lost count, heh heh heh”

The hooded figure slowly drew back his hood and looked up into the evening sky

“It’s a horrid evening isn’t it?”

“Aye, do you think they’ll turn up?”

“I should have thought so, they’ll not let a trivial matter such as the weather get in their way”

A sharp crackle of thunder made both speakers turn their heads to the centre of the square where a both of lightning briefly earthed itself, momentarily whiting out the entire square.

“Thunderchild, what the hell have you got us into!?” cried the second figure

“Easy now Proeliator, they’re not as powerful as they appear”

“Oh, great, that’s really put my mind at ease”

Both men slowly drew their swords and prepared for battle. Another bolt of lightning hit the centre of the square, shaking the ground underfoot. This bolt illuminated both men, the speaker known as Proeliator became a mysterious figure of about 5 foot 10, wearing darkened sunglasses and sporting a goatee, Thunderchild became a tall figure of 6 foot 2 wearing heavy armour and holding a large two-handed sword.

“They certainly weren’t this powerful before, something’s wrong”

“Now you tell me!”

Thunderchild backed away from the centre of the square where almost continuous bolts of lightning were striking the ground causing the whole city to shake. Over the din of perpetual thunder Proeliator turned to Thunderchild and screamed to him

“HERE THEY COME!!”

With a blinding flash of lightning which spread from across the whole sky down to one point in the centre of the square, two figures appeared. They appeared to be wizards of a sort, but not the usual chubby old beings that Ankh-Morpork was used to, these wizards wore dark black shabby clothing and wide dark hats under the brow of which no facial features could be made out.

One of them raised it’s arm out and called in a deep voice that shattered nearby windows

“It is time”

Thunderchild strode forward, sheathing his sword and holding his head high, causing Proeliator to run after him

“Thunderchild, what the hell are you doing going in unarmed, these guys can kill you with one wave of their hand!!”

“Well then, what good is a sword going to do me?”

“You could chop their hand off first?”

“Leave it Proeliator, maybe there’s a chance”

With that Thunderchild pushed Proeliator behind him and walked up to the figures who raised their hands in a greeting

“You are the one named Thunderchild” boomed one

“Much has been said of you, much you have done” crashed the other

“You have wronged our people, taken what is rightfully ours, for this you must be punished”

Thunderchild knelt before the figures and shouted into the darkening night

“Let it not be said that I did not accept the responsibilities of my actions!”

The first black wizard pulled out a small staff and swung it in a long arc towards Thunderchild, half way through it was met by Thunderchilds sword.

“Insolence!” cried one of the black wizards

At the sight of Thunderchild beginning to battle the wizards, Proeliator ran forward and swung his sword at the nearest wizard, a battle then ensued.

Thunderchild swung his two-handed sword as fast as he could but the wizards were too quick, dodging out of the way and firing a blast, which only made Thunderchild even madder. Proeliator darted in quick and struck fast, but again the wizards were too fast, Thunderchild began to worry if this was a battle he could not win.

Suddenly one of the wizards began a long slow steady chant in an alien language that neither Thunderchild nor Proeliator could understand, briefly they heard a word that sounded like Gaya, although neither could be sure. Believing that the wizard was powering up for a major attack Proeliator pressed forward, trying to make his way to the chanting wizard, but was held back by the other wizard, Thunderchild on the other hand managed to smash his way past the wizard battling Proeliator and emerged in front of the chanting wizard, who was now chanting louder and faster.

The wind suddenly got up, whistling in from the streets surrounding Sator Square, it tore into Thunderchild almost knocking him over and blowing his cloak around him, still the wizard chanted, reaching a crescendo of sound as his chanting combined with the wind, rain and thunder to make a wall of sound which seemed to cancel everything out.

Then it all went quiet, the wizard stop chanting and flung his arms high into the air, the rain stopped, the wind stopped, everything was as quiet as the grave, Thunderchild got up, looked at Proeliator and then charged the wizard, as he swung his sword a massive blast of light seared across the heavens tearing the clouds apart and engulfed the two wizards and Thunderchild.

When Proeliator was able to see clearly again, there was no sign of any of them.

 

The first thing that Thunderchild was aware of, was that he was lying face down on a floor made of wood, he moved his hands around him, good they weren’t tied up. So, now what? Feigning unconsciousness for a minute or two, Thunderchild gathered his bearings and then opened his eyes. Yep, a wooden floor, and walls, and ceiling, so, he was in a prison cell, not a very well made prison cell he judged as he looked around himself. A table in the corner with a chair next to it, no windows though, no fruit or a bed or anything…. He tried the door and to his astonishment, it swung open freely. Some prison cell!!

He tiptoed out, careful not to wake any guards that there should be, again, to his surprise, he found none.

“Where the hell am I?” he pondered as he walked down a corridor

The floor under his feet slowly leaned to his left, tripping Thunderchild over.

“Ah, that narrows it down a bit, I’m on a ship”

Now, all he had to do was find the deck and then he could stow away until this boat came into port, simple.

After some searching amongst the wooden corridors, he found a staircase leading up, This must be the way up he thought, so up he went, climbing around the spiral staircase until he could see daylight.

At the top of the stairs he could see out across the ship, above several things whirred around in a circle, this was the oddest ship he’d seen on the disc, maybe it was Ecksian he mused, they did some strange things so he’d heard. After making a quick check that the coast was clear he walked out on deck, he’d only got halfway across when someone behind him shouted

“Oi you! Stop!”

That was it, he ran for it. Get my armour off when I jump overboard, might be able to swim for it he thought, but as he got to the edge of the deck he suddenly realised that that wasn’t going to be an option.

The ship was flying.

“By the Gods, what place is this!!?” he cried, backing away from the edge, as he looked down he could see clouds floating past. It was a long, long way down….

A hand touched his shoulder and he wheeled round to see a short lad, he averaged to be in his early twenties with blonde hair, and…and

“Ga, ack, ack!” cried Thunderchild and tried to run away from this creature

“What the hells the matter!?” cried the creature

“Your, your..!” gibbered Thunderchild and pointed to the rear of the creature

“Oh, my tail?” said the creature, swishing the aforementioned tail lightly

That was too much for Thunderchild, as he fainted.

“Strange,” muttered the creature as he stood over Thunderchilds prostrate form “You’d have thought he’d never seen a genome before”