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Are You a Net Junkie? |
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"Do you post at Movie Poop Shoot.com under the name 'Magnolia_fan?" |
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Do you sometimes worry that you, or someone you love might be a net junkie? Unfortunately, society does not recognize net addiction as the serious, family destroying, life ending menace it truly is. LOL, J/K. Below are some of the signs to look for to determine whether you or someone you know is, in fact, addicted to the net, so please take these all to heart and if this is you, seek help. Special thanks to Seth for giving me this idea. |
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Has actually said "LOL" out loud in real life conversation. |
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The first thing you do when you wake up, before peeing, coffee or personal hygeine is to log into a chatroom. |
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You stop answering to your birth name completely and will ONLY be addressed as "super_stud_dude04" |
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You actually count cyber sex as sex. |
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When engaged in real life conversations with people you don't want to talk to, you find yourself looking for the "ignore" button. |
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You once tried to boot your cousin from Thanksgiving dinner |
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You have abandoned the use of capitol letters and punctuation entirely. |
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You have difficulty expressing your feelings in real life due to the absence of emoticons. |
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YOU CAN'T GET PAST THE "ALL CAPS IS SCREAMING" RULE. |
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You make sections on websites about people addicted to chat.. |
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The ONLY time you talk to your spouse or significant other is through Messenger. |
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You actually start to feel a little drunk when people "hand you a beer" in a chatroom. |
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You actually think it's a mark of accomplishment to be considered a "regular" |
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You have no idea that there are actually people who log into a chatroom, kick back and LAUGH at you. |
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You spend 3 grand on a state of the art computer system, webcam and microphone only so you can scream obscenities in a drunken stupor about absolutely nothing. |
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You actually took the time and effort to locate, download and store bootcodes. |
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You do screensaves of chats, message board posts or messenger exchanges for "use at a later date" |
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You honestly believe you have a "deep, long-term serious relationship" with someone you've never seen in person, but talked to in a chatroom. |
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You actually believe that what you have to say is not only important, but will actually have any effect on the real world at all. |
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You still think you're "tight" with Ben Afleck because he answered one of your questions during a celebrity chat session. |
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You're more obsessed with "who did what to whom" in chat than most people are with soap operas. |
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You've actually been "offended" by something someone said or did on the net. |
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You feel the need to seek the council of your "net family" before doing anything serious, such as going on vacation. |
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When in restaurant, before excusing yourself to go to the bathroom you say BRB. |
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You take the word of Drudgereport.com over ANY legitimate print media. |
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You think of yourself as an accomplished author because your fan fiction got 5 out of ten stars. |
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On Friday nights, your idea of fun is to log into chat, get drunk and play music. |
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When you log on, you actually start to believe what you've lied about on your profile. |
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You got engaged online. |
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You got married online. |
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You did a live webcast of the birth of your first child. |
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All images and text TM and Copyright Electric Blues 2004, unless otherwise noted, in which case, we don't care. |
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