Welcome to my Realm...


I believe that some of us, here on earth, have one foot in the spiritual realm. Part of us lives in the daily grind of day to day things, but part of us lives in the True reality that only God knows and sees. This is my Realm. God has spoken to me in many different ways: Dreams, Visions & by using my gift of discernment. Dreams being in a complete state of sleep, Visions are closer to the state between sleep and being awake. Here, I will attempt to show you all the things in my Realm. I will open up to you the details of my reality. I hope that some of you will be able to relate, and thus know that you are not alone. Perhaps this will stir the Holy Spirit in you, that you will want to share your experiences with me as well. I pray so. If this is your desire, please write to me at: Realm 1512 Roane St. Richmond, VA. 23222 or email me at:

[email protected]


W A R N I N G :

Learning about Spiritual Warfare can completely change your life. Opening yourself up for personal spiritual attacks. Read on with caution. Know the power that you have through Christ Jesus in a spiritual attack. His name alone causes the enemy to tremble and flee. I always pray aloud or sing praises of worship during an attack. Fill the darkness with the Light, being a lamp unto the world.




First Occurrence...

One of my first occurrences with angels,that I remember, was close to ten years ago. I had gone to Kingdombound, a contemporary christian music festival. This was long before I knew about Cornerstone and the whole "alternative" christian scene. Kingdombound was held at Darien Lake, a theme park in western NY. I was there with a bunch of people from New Covenant Community Church. My boyfriend, at the time, who I later married, belonged to this church and I had become very involved with their youth group. It was our 6-month anniversary together. My boyfriend and I (let's call him Mike) were sitting at a picnic table across from each other all alone at our camping site. Mike gave me a rose, lit a candle, then he got out a big cookie, which he had put chocolate frosting on. He proceeded to take out a pink ribbon and tied our right hands together. After this he fed me chocolate frosting with a spoon. He also read to me some poetry that he had written for me. (Awww...young love, it was quite a lovely time that we spent together. I had forgotten most of this story until i started writing it. It is very odd to look back on it now.) Well, after we had done all that, Mike suggested that we pray together. We then held hands and Mike began to pray. He prayed about Kindombound, our families, and our friends. He also prayed that God would strengthen our relationship and bless us. Both of us had our eyes shut the whole time. As he kept praying, I tought that some of our friends had heard us and had decided to gather around us to pray with us. It seemed as if more and more people came to join us until we were completely surrounded. It was very comforting to know that so many were moved by our prayer. Finally, Mike finished praying and we both opened our eyes to find that no one was there. I asked Mike if he had felt surrounded as well and he replied that he had felt the same thing. So, you tell me who was there....




Interlude...

I took a short break after the Kingdombound story to do some laundry. I was thinking of how odd I felt and vulnerable to be writing my stories down. I wondered what the spiritual counter-attack would be. I also thought how odd it was to be writing al this down in this house. I had just spent the night at my father's house, which was once my parent's house, the same house that I had lived in from the time I was in fourth grade until shortly after my eighteenth birthday. This house that I can't sleep in because of multitudes of memories that taunt me from the past. My father had a nervous breakdown here when I was only 13 years old, that tender age between childhood and adolescence. We had many struggles, my father and i. We had been very close when I was a little girl. I was his "little princess", but that all changed after his illness. At the same time of my father's illness, I had mononucleosis. I had been running cross- country, a 5 mile race in the rain and I became very sick afterward. It started with a sinus infection and turned into mono. I was in the hospital for a week. My poor mother going between two different hospitals, 45 miles apart to visit my father and I. Mono changed my whole outlook on life, I had far less energy than before. I had been so athletic: softball, soccer, track & cross- country. I had constant dizzy spells, black outs and just a general feeling of lousiness. I lost interest in school, which made my grades drop from an A to a C student. I lacked any kind of motivation at all. The room that I stayed in was once my bedroom in my later teens. Now it was turned into my nephew's playroom. They had put bunkbeds in there too. So much had happened in this room. I had struggled with my faith, lost it and then gained it back all in this room. I would spend all my time here, in the basement, with no windows. My mother called it my "dungeon" and I liked it that way. Everything I needed was there. It was 2 rooms divided by a wall in the middle. One room was my sleeping room and the other was my lounge/dance floor. I spent hours reading books, zines, writing poetry, letters to penpals, listening to music, making music compilations & dancing here, not to mention my fashion designing and fashion shows that I put on for myself. And yet I find myself writing here once again...




Warning...

Since I’m not working at the moment, I have been staying at a lot of different places; my father’s, my mother’s, my friend Jessica’s and my friend Andy’s. Pretty much anyplace I could crash. I have been doing some merchandising in my mom’s medical scrubs shop lately, so I stayed at her house the last few nights. I happen to be sleeping in the same room this next story occurred in. Hmm… where to begin.. This one has a lot of building up to. Years ago, when I was young and foolish about relationships. I was at a local bar, Old City Hall. The one I usually frequent when I am in Oswego. It has been this way since I can remember, since I was of age. I think it is my favorite because they have “the Cure” in the jukebox. Good enough reason for me. I met a guy there, his name was Robert. Soon after I started dating him. I am just a sucker for Texans. I later found out that he was married, but separated from his wife. This weighed heavily on my heart, yet I continued with the relationship. Robert worked for one of those companies that sends their employees from one Nuclear Power Plant to another plant, a few months at a time. I knew he would be leaving shortly, this made me nervous about our relationship. One night, while I was waiting for Robert to meet me at Old City Hall, I met a gut named Don. Don knew all kinds of things about me. It was a very weird, but yet intriguing. Don had once been a tenant at my father’s house. My father rented out rooms after my parents separated. Don knew so much about me, yet this was the first time we had ever met. The whole experience seemed very magical to me, it totally caught me off guard. So, here I was contemplating two different relationships… Then, one night, I woke up out of a sound sleep. I saw a bright light at the foot of my bed. It was an angel. I sat there in amazement. Then angel spoke to me. It said, “Stay away from him”. Then it disappeared. I went back to sleep, somewhat confused by the incident. The next day, I tried to figure out my dream. My first theory was that the angel meant to stay away from Robert. Obviously, because he was married, that made perfect sense to me. Later down the road, I realized the angel had meant Don. A long series of horrible events happened with him where he slipped me acid, threatened my life and later stalked me, forcing me to move out of town and to not go to the college I had been accepted to. I learned from this that everything is in God’s timing and that we shouldn’t jump to conclusions when God speaks to us, for we know that he works in mysterious ways...



Evangelist...

When I was pregnant with the second child, I stayed with my mother. My house was in the middle of nowhere and it was far more comforting to be with my mother, who also was a nurse. During this time I watched a lot of TV. A lot for me isn’t much at all, because I rarely watch TV. One of the programs I saw often was a TV evangelist. I watched his show a few times and I wasn’t quite sure what to make of it. I didn’t feel it was right to judge his work, but I had an uneasy feeling about it. I prayed to God, for Him to show me the truth. I fell asleep one night and I had a dream. In the dream, I walked into a bookstore. It was a small store, dark and deep. It was filled with all sorts of holy books and Bibles, every kind you could imagine. I looked around in amazement and wonder. I looked to find the salesperson. Out of the darkness he came, I realized it was the TV evangelist. He showed me all around the store. Showing me all the glorious books and bibles. He then walked behind the counter in the back of the room, he wanted to show me a special bible. From underneath the counter he pulled this great book out. It glowed with its magnificence. It had gold lettering and embroidery around the edges. He opened the book and beams of light poured out all over the room. I looked down at the book to see what it said. As I did, the words all changed into vile, evil things. I looked up horrified to see that the TV evangelist had grown horns out of the top of his head. He snarled at me and then I heard this sinister laugh that rang in my ears. I woke up startled and got up out of bed. Needless to say, I never watched that program again. I guess God answered that question...



Revelation 19:21...

Ever have an album that is just a necessity of your very being? You just couldn’t live without it? Ever had that album stolen? Lost, etc.? Well, for some reason that album to me is Wigtop- Revelation 19:21. I got the CD ages ago and it just gives me such peace and really moves the spirit for me. It lifts me up when I’m down and gives me hope. I used to sleep to this album a lot too. It really seems as if something doesn’t want me to have that album. When I moved to TX., it got left there at a friend’s parents' house in Houston or rather outside Houston and it was never seen again. (I think I know why I’m so paranoid about leaving my stuff anywhere…because I’ve lost too much stuff that way.) That was 4 years ago now, then about 3 years ago, I was surfing the net at my mom’s house and I came across this site that had Heather Stackhouse’s address. I wrote her and explained my situation to her, telling her how badly I needed a copy of her album. Well, Heather, being as awesome as she is, called me to my complete shock. She looked up my parents’ number from my address, which I thought was pretty cool and way out of her way to go for me. I talked to her for awhile and she explained how she can’t even get copies of that CD any more because they are out of print. She offered to make a copy of her own personal CD for me, which totally thrilled me. The copy is great, it has a lot of skips in it just like my CD used to play.. hehe... Well, 2 ½ years ago I moved to Rochester, NY. I lived above this club called “The Grind”. It was a horrible experience, I would definitely not ever recommend anyone to live above any club. I had to park my car in the street and it wasn’t a very safe part of town. My car got broken into and all my tapes and my stereo got stolen. I recovered a few of my tapes that were sold to a local Record Theatre music shop. So, then I didn’t have my precious Wigtop for almost another year. Surfing the net, as I like to do, I found a used music site that had it. I was overjoyed! I ordered it immediately, but of course it took me a while to get the money order out to him because I lost the order form in the chaos of paperwork in my apartment. Then, a few weeks later I had it! Yes! *jumps for joy* *kisses and hugs her CD* Of course, there was one more obstacle... I couldn’t listen to it because my CD player was ruined in a rainstorm. I had gone out of town and left the CD player by the window that was open. Brilliant me! So, I carried it in my purse for weeks ,still in the cardboard box, so as not to damage my most sacred possession. I waited for some random momemt when I would be able to listen to it. Then, one night, I went to my friend Muzet’s house. We usually went out for coffee on Tuesday nights, which was poetry night at Java Joe’s. She had a CD player! So I taped it while we were out and then picked it up later. I listened to it like 3 times straight, well...in between rewinding it cuz it is only on one side and it is only a partial copy, but it’s better than nothing. Do you have any idea how many times I listened to “Higher” on my Slava comp. Yearning for my Wigtop album? Do you? So, I finally had it again. Well...since then I have been homeless since...umm...July of 1999...not exactly homeless, but staying with different friends and what not. All my stuff has been in storage and I have been practically living in my car until about October, when I moved into my mother’s house to try to help out around her house because she has been sick and going through chemotherapy. I had my Wigtop CD in my car, so nothing would happen to it and somehow between mom’s and my car and driving back and forth 2 hours to work I’ve misplaced it. I got married in November to a man that lives in Richmond, VA. After the first of the year, I moved down here and I’m going completely nuts without my Wigtop CD… Ugh!! It’s a conspiracy, I tell you! It is!...


Testimony...


Well, consider this... That in ancient time, priests would use drugs to see spirits. In my case, it was a spiritual battle that I had. Ok, now I don’t know what experience any of you have with Hallucinogens, but from all the other people I’ve talked to, they say that the effects on your mind cause you to see the spirit realm. The only problem is you have no control, unlike when you are in deep prayer or spiritual warfare. Well, anyway, the best thing to do is tell you what happened... Great! Now I’m forced to tell the whole story!! Look what you made me do! Alright, I’ll try to make this as short as possible. I was living at my Goth friend’s house, who was a back-slidden Christian and I had been there about 2 months. My wife and I were getting separated and I was already sleeping around (we hadn’t lived together for about 11 months). Well, I got some shrooms from my roommate’s friend and I wanted to do them somewhere interesting. Soooooo……. I was at a club on shrooms and at first it was fun. I saw lots of colors and hand trails when I was dancing. It wasn’t until I started getting tired from dancing that the bad trip started. First thing that happened, I couldn’t drink water because it tasted horrible, and it didn’t do anything for my thirst. So, I went back on the dance floor, but all the people I saw dancing turned into these shadowy robed figures that blended into the floor and floated around the dance floor. The music stopped being mixed and it was all one Long chant of men and women singing in what sounded like Latin. I looked around and decided this wasn’t normal, so I went and sat up in the bar (this was around 9:30pm and hardly anyone was there). I was all alone above the bar (that’s where the seats were) and I was sitting there trying to relax and get some air. The next things I saw were these dead plants across from me bowing down to something behind me. I slowly turned and looked and the entire wall was a Purple Black void (like a black hole). I could see into it and feel heat, like being in front of an open oven. I could faintly hear people screaming and moaning, but it was drowned out by the sound of the chanting coming from the dance floor. I stopped and took everything in and I realized that I was sitting in the middle of a Satanic Temple, of sorts. The congregation was singing in foolishness to their false god in hopes he would fulfill all their desires. I said to myself,” I have to get out of here now!!”. At that instant, I felt all these female hands pulling me into my chair and stroking my body in sensual ways. I also heard their voices in my ear saying, ”Come with us”, ”You’re one of us”, “Be with us”, “you belong with us” etc. They were all talking over each other, which made me confused. I tried to close my eyes until they gave up. Bad Idea! I saw all kinds of horrific images when I did that. I saw religious symbols being broken and recreated into satanic runes. Pentagrams covered in blood and burning in fire. I would see Jesus on the cross, being pulled off and torn to pieces and he would also be on the cross and smiling at me. Then he would grow horns and have glowing red eyes. These were all tactics to scare me, which they did! I broke out of the hands that were holding me in my seat and I ran out the door and stumbled along the sidewalk until I couldn’t walk. I sat under a lamppost crying in terror. I could constantly heard laughing all around me. Every time I would think of something good, it was warped and twisted into something evil. I would think of my wife (whom I hadn’t seen in 3 months at the time) and I would see all kinds of sexually perverted images. I yelled, “No That’s not why I married her, I love her!” Then Satan tried to hypnotize me, by using the headlights of the cars coming towards me, like a deer caught in the road blinded by the headlights. He was telling me, “Why not just end it all? Then you won’t be seeing these things anymore.” I thought to myself, You’re right, I won’t see these things anymore. I’ll see them for eternity! Plus, I’ll have all the pain and suffering that comes with HELL!” I started cussing out Satan, telling him he couldn’t fool me. He just kept laughing. Finally, I just gave up and started praying and begging God to forgive me for falling so far from Him. I must have prayed for an hour or two. When I finally started thinking and I realized that the world itself is inherently Evil! All the people I would look at were doing something or another that boiled down to sin. After I realized all of this, I made up my mind to go back to my wife (if I survived the night) and get back into my church. To study my Word and destroy demonic spirits that were over people. Well, anyway. Deliverance came in the form of a homeless heroin addict. He stopped, saw me crying and asked if I was ok. I said, “No, I’m having a f***ing bad shroom trip!!” He jumped up a little at my yelling and asked if I was seeing certain things. I said, ”yeah, I’m seeing that”, and he told me he knew how I felt, because he’d had bad trips and had seen people on them before. He asked me if I thought everyone was trying to kill me. I said, “Yes! I’m afraid to talk to anyone.” Well, this part isn’t significant, but eventually I ended up at a 24-hour donut shop where I came down and pondered all kinds of things. I called my parents, told them everything that had happened and they picked me up. Well, the story keeps going but maybe next time we’ll continue... --Rick A. Mortis


I think that many people are reluctant to share stories of this nature because they are afraid of what other people might think of them. I've gone through this myself and have decided that this is my calling, to share my life experiences. God knows my heart & mind & soul, let him be the judge of my sanity, not man. In understanding of people's thoughts and fears, if you wish to contribute your stories, I will respect your anonymity...

If you would like to contribute to Realm...please e-mail: [email protected]

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