3 Nephi 13:19-21

I'm still working on that whole planning for the future thing, although I have to admit that I haven't done a very good job of it this last week. As most of the family was at the coast this weekend, I mostly just hung out with my brother and played video games. That has contributed to an awful mess of work for me this week, as you can see by going to my new calendar: http://calendar.yahoo.com/elder_dozark

Balance. Everything in life is about balance, and moderation; neither of which I'm very good at. Instead, I tend to work myself into the ground with schedules and demands that leave no room for recreation at all, then snap and spend way too much time playing games and watching TV, which puts me behind, so I have to work to catch up...and none of that works very well. I guess I still don't have the hang of that whole scheduling and organization concept I was talking about a couple of weeks ago.

So where am I at this week? First, I'm reordering a few priorities. As far as school goes, I just realized that I can probably spend a large part of tomorrow morning at home (though still working on assignments). I may even sleep in for a half-hour or so. I'm not certain yet, so I haven't changed my calendar to reflect that. I'm just fortunate enough to have most of my remaining work be things I don't need the school computers to do.

Other than that comes again this whole idea of being "in the world, but not of the world" that Latter-Day Saints are so used to talking about. On the one hand, we have to "agree quickly" with our enemies and "make friends with the mammon of unrighteousness", yet in playing the games of the world it gets to be so easy to lose yourself in the game. I have an essay that I'm writing to earn scholarship money and lower the amount I'm borrowing (anything I can do to reduce the debt I'm incurring here). All I have to do is write a personal statement about the experiences that led me to this school, my need for the scholarship, and my career goals. I'm sorry to say it took me nearly 45 minutes to stop searching for compelling responses and dynamic arguments, and finally just start speaking from the heart. In some ways, I really resent my English classes for teaching me to be so silver-tongued.

However, moving right along...back to the part about life-planning. There is so much that needs to be done in this life, and so little time to do it. However, it occurred to me as I was laying in bed that life is really far simpler than it gets made out to be. Take school and work for instance. So often they can become the goals and ends in life, when really there are meant only be means to an end. I work so I can support myself, contribute to my family, and pay for school. I go to school so I can get a better-paying job doing something I enjoy. I want that job so I can support a family someday. Family is eternal, so that is the important part of this equation.

However, the goals go farther than that. Why do I want a family? Because I want to be like my Father in Heaven. There is a God in Heaven, and I am His son -- that's as complicated as it ever needs to be. He watches over me, blesses me, and waits for me to come home from this school we call life. He probably thinks it amusing that we count these few short years our "lives", having had us with Him for so long before sending us here, and knowing full well the expanse of eternity that we will live with Him after. If I can just remember that a little more often, maybe I won't get so stressed out all the time.

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