1)You measure distance in hours.
2)You've ever had to switch from Heat to AC in the same day.
3)Stores don't have bags; they have sacks.
4)Stores don't have shopping carts; they have buggies.
5)You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it, no matter what time of the year it is.
6)You use "fix" as a verb. Example: 'I am fixin to go to the store.'
7)All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, or animal.
8)You install security lights on your house and garage, and leave both unlocked.
9)You carry jumper cables in your car..for your OWN car.
10)You know what "cow tippin" and "snipe huntin" are.
11)You only own four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco.
12)You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent.
13)You think sexy lingerie is a t-shirt and boxer shorts.
14)The local paper covers national and international news on one page, but requires six pages for sports.
15)You think the first day of deer season is a national holiday.
16)You know which leaves make the best toilet paper.
17)You think 90 degrees F is "a little warm."
18)You know all four seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, Still Summer, and Christmas.
19)You know whether another Alabamian is from southern, middle, or northern Alabama as soon as they open their mouth.
20)There is a Dairy Queen in any town with a population of 1000 or more.
21)Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite passtime known as "Goin Walmartin" or off to "Wally World."
22)You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good, chilly weather.
23)A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola, or pop..It's a Coke, regardless of brand or flavor.
24)You understand these jokes, and know they're true.
1)On Sears hair dryer--'Do not use while sleeping.'
**Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair.**
2)On a bag of Fritos--'You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.Details inside.'
**Evidently, the shoplifter special.**
3)On a bar of Dial soap--'Use like regular soap.'
**And how else would you use it??**
4)On some Swanson frozen dinners--'Serving Suggestion: Defrost.'
**But it's just a suggestion!**
5)On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of box--'Do not turn upside down!'
**Oops! Too late!**
6)On Marks and Spencer bread pudding--'May be hot after heating.'
**Now how did they figure that one out?!**
7)On pakaging for Rowenta iron--'Do not iron clothes on body.'
**But wouldn't this save even more time??**
8)On Boot's Children's cough medicine--'Do not drive a car or operate heavy machinery after taking this medicine.'
**We could do a lot to reduce construction accidents if we could just get those darn five-year-olds with head colds off those forklifts!**
9)On Nytol sleep aide--'May cause drowsiness.'
**Well, let's hope so!**
10)On most brands of Christmas lights--'For indoor or outdoor use only.'
**As opposed to what??**
11)On a Japanese food processor--'Not to be used for the other use.'
**I have to admit, I'm curious.**
12)On Sainsbury's peanuts--'Warning: May contain peanuts.'
**NEWS FLASH**
13)On an American Airlines packet of nuts--'Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.'
**Step 3: Fly Delta**
14)On a child's Superman costume--'Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.'
**I don't blame the company for this one, I blame the parents.**
15)On a Swedish chainsaw--'Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.'
**Was there a chance of this happening somewhere?**
16)On a bottle of Palmolive dishwashing detergent--'Do not use on food.'
**Hey, Mom, we're out of syrup! It's okay, Honey, just use the Palmolive!**
17)On a tube of Crest toothpaste--'If swallowed, contact Poison Control.'
**Oh please! Who ever heard of anyone dying from swallowing a little toothpaste?!**
18)On a bottle of ALL laundry detergent--'Remove clothing before distributing in washing machine.'
**Hey, no more swimming in the washing machine, Kids! Awww..you mean we have to swim in the swimming pool?!**
19)On a Little Caesar's pizza coupon--'Spear not included.'
**You mean someone actually expected to get a cartoon spear with their pizza?!**
The sad thing about all these labels are that manufacturers would only put them on their products if someone actually did/thought these things!
