I entered the hot, steamy sanctuary that was the
bathroom. Peace and calm oozed from the lavender and cream tiled walls that
were covered in little water droplets as the bath heated up. In the soothing
mist I took my time to undress and stepped into the marble bath tub slowly,
letting my senses react to the warmth that was passing through my skin and
swirling throughout my body. I settled down with my head leaning against the
edge of the tub on a large fluffy white towel. I began to drift away into
dreamland.
I saw Allie playing with Sock, our family’s darling
golden retriever, whose brown fur never failed to shine and glisten. The rays
of the sun seemed to favour my dearest daughter so much, they shone only on
her. It was as though she were the highlight of the world. She was the greatest
treasure I ever owned. Paul, my husband, stood by me at the glass window
overlooking the lawn. His large feeling hands caressed my head lovingly as we
painted the picture of the perfect family. Allie threw a bright orange frisbee
high into the sky. As Sock bounded away to fetch it ----
I suddenly snapped back into reality. I thought—I
thought I heard Allie’s voice. I tensed up for a moment. Then I remembered. My
most precious Allie wasn’t ever coming back. It has been so long yet the memory
of her adorable face just cannot subside and vanish. Wearily, I sank back into
the comfort of the hot bath.
I saw nine-year-old Allie in the doorway. She wasn’t
wearing her favourite baby blue cardigan as she did everyday. On top of her
flowery t-shirt was a pink pullover that was 2 sizes too big for her. But it
had to do as a hole her in cardigan was being stitched back together in my
careful, motherly hands. The smell of pasta wafted through the house as Paul
whistled merrily in the kitchen, hard at work preparing dinner. Gracefully,
Allie glided across the living room floor to the bannister. She put her
treasured maroon schoolbag at the bottom of the stairs before floating up to
her room to get changed. Allie, my little angel. I couldn’t think of a better
way to end a day than eating, chatting, laughing together at the dinner table
and finally sleeping together as a family on a king-sized waterbed. It was love
in quantities that cannot be measured.
Suddenly I was jolted awake by Paul’s voice. “I’m
home, Reen.” It was comforting to hear Paul’s voice. It is a voice that I have
grown to know so well, a voice that filled the void that Allie left behind.
Paul has been beside me for 20 years now and both of us are still deeply grieving
over something that happened just 5 years prior. He grew from just a
significant other to someone who was truly magnificent, someone who knew
everything I felt and someone who was always there when I needed him so. I
looked up and squinted to read the time on the small square clock I had mounted
on the bathroom wall. It had been 3 hours since I entered my little haven. It
was time to get out and face a new beginning. I had learned to face up to the
fact that our lives have been changed forever. Allie was our everything. We
obsessed over her and spoiled her, made her the happiest girl ever. But now all
we have is each other.
“I’ll be right out, dear.” I wasted no time in rinsing myself of soap bubbles and changed into the smart casual attire I had picked out. As I stepped out of the bathroom, I felt Paul’s arms around me. His caring honey brown eyes looked into mine. “Shall, we?” I smiled. We would begin a new chapter of our lives together. What God has joined, men must not divide. No, not even the greatest loss we ever had. Instead, we grew even closer. We have gained so much more after Allie. Thank you, Allie.