Now I know why I keep an online journal. This is my place to talk, complain, and such without being inturupted. Those who wich to listen may, and those who dont, will leave.
The only thing I feel like I can talk to is the darkness of my room, and recently it seems as even it has turned against me. I know one day things will get better. I only need to wait.
I never realised how much my friend turning on me effected me. I didnt feel anything, I thought I was a cold hearted bitch for not even caring. It took me awhile, and I also needed the capassion of another frient to realise just how much it did effect me.
I have turned my back on the world. I realise I dont trust anyone anymore. I tell people things not to get pity, but to advise them. But my feelings, my life, my thoughts. They go here.
These are the most personal things I tell anyone. And I write them here not wanting to know who read it. I dont want to worry. As much as I want to talk to someone. As soon as I tell them anything, I feel uncomfortable around them.
The only people I've ever gotten close to I turn away. I dont want pity; and they cant understand, even I dont..