Title: A Child Alone

Author: Corri

Disclaimer: The world in which this story takes place is not my own.  It belongs to Robert Jordan.  I am making NOTHING off of this.  The characters are original, however.

Author’s note: This is one of the first pieces of fanfiction I ever wrote.  I don’t even think I knew what fanfic was when I wrote it.  It was simply an idea I had for explaining the past of a character I was roleplaying at the time.  Hopefully, it is able to stand on its own merits. 

 

 

A Child Alone

 

            “…And furthermore, you are never to see him again.  I told you he was trouble the first time I saw him.”  Kelara Tarillon gave her daughter sitting in the chair across from her a hard look, but received only a defiant stare.  “Nyrin, listen to me!  You are NOT to attempt to see him.  Do you know how precarious our situation is right now?  Not only did you deliberately disobey me by seeing him in the first place, we now discover that he is, Light preserve us, a male channeler!  If the Red Ajah, or the Whitecloaks, for that matter, discover that we have any connection with him…” Kelara shuddered.

            “Rallith had no idea he could channel, and neither did I!  How dare you accuse me of being part of some plot?  I am twenty years old, mother.  I WILL make my own decisions!” Nyrin shouted, leaning forward in her chair.  Her mother turned on her.  For a long moment, the two of them stared at each other.  They were mirror images almost, both had the same blue eyes and auburn hair, and the determined expressions on their faces were identical. 

            “Listen to me, girl,” she said through clenched teeth.  “I am the head of house Tarillon, and you are its only child.  You will do as I tell you, do you understand?” Before she could finish speaking, Nyrin had jumped from her chair and bolted out of the room, tears running down her face.  “Crying isn’t going to help you, Nyrin!” Kelara yelled after her.  “Come back here this instant!” 

            Nyrin ran through the gardens of the family’s mansion in Caemlyn, a satisfied smile on her face.  Let her mother think her tears were those of a lovesick and downtrodden girl.  She thought of Rallith’s face…well, maybe lovesick, but certainly not downtrodden.  She ran along the wall until she came to the side gate that almost no one ever used.   She pushed it open and winced as the hinges squeaked from years of neglect.  Looking over her shoulder to make sure no one had seen her, she pushed the gate closed.  Once in the street, she attempted to put on some semblance of dignity.   Taking a deep breath, she walked purposefully toward the prison.  She had gotten lucky, and she knew it.  With all the fuss around the city with the odd weather, false Dragons ravaging the countryside, and the world in upheaval, the Aes Sedai who had taken Rallith had not seen fit to guard one more untrained channeler very heavily.   Nyrin smiled to herself.  They had not even left one Aes Sedai with him!  As she approached the prison, the guards knuckled their foreheads respectfully, but gave her strange looks out of the corners of their eyes.  Ladies were not frequent visitors to the prison.  More illustrious prisoners were kept in the palace dungeon where the Queen could better keep an eye on them.  Nyrin assumed an air of authority and walked into the prison.

            “M’lady,” the guard inside stuttered, eyeing her fine dress, Nyrin cursed herself for wearing it instead of something plain, “we are honored, but….what are you doing here?”

            “A man was taken by the Aes Sedai this morning, and I want to see him.”  The guard’s eyes bulged and he shook his head.

            “I can’t do that for you, M’lady.  The Aes Sedai that was here said no one was to see him under any circumstances.” The guard lowered his voice.  “She said he could channel.” 

            “I have heard these ridiculous accusations against my husband and…..”

            “Did you say your husband, M’lady?” the guard asked.

            “Yes, and I demand to see him.  I am his wife, after all.  Surely there would be no harm in that.”  Nyrin said.

            “Ah, of course.  Let me tell him you’re here.”  The guard walked over to one of the cells and knocked on the ironbound door.  “Your wife is here to see you,” he said. 

            “My wife?  But I’m not….”  Rallith was saying as the door opened, when Nyrin peered around the guard’s shoulder.  “Nyrin!  What are you doing here?”

            “I’m here to see you, my husband,” she answered, hoping he would understand what she was trying to do.  A look of comprehension spread across Rallith’s face.  He smiled at her, and she darted into the cell.  The guard closed the door behind her and instructed her to let him know when she was ready to leave. 

            “What are you doing here?  This is no place for you.  How did you ever get past your mother?” Rallith asked.  She smiled and inspected him for any signs of damage.  He appeared to be fine, he looked almost the same as always.  His warm brown eyes were gentle, if a little tired, and his dark hair was more unkempt than usual.  

            “Is that any way to greet your wife?” Nyrin laughed as she put her arms around him.  He held her tightly for a moment, then unwrapped her from around his neck.

            “Seriously, this is no place for you.  When they took me, they asked many questions about my friends, as if they too were under suspicion.  I managed to keep you out of it, and you ruin it by coming here!” Rallith tried to look stern, but only succeeded in looking concerned.

            “I had to see you before they took you away,” Nyrin whispered.  “I was afraid I wouldn’t get to tell you……”

            “Tell me what?”  Nyrin looked over her shoulder before answering, and for the first time, looked afraid.

            “I am going to have a child.  Your child,” she said simply.  Rallith was speechless.  He could only stare at her. 

            “Mine?” he gasped.  “How long…are you sure…a child?” 

            “Of course I’m sure!  How could it be anyone else’s?   I think it has been a few weeks,” Nyrin told him.  Rallith stared at her again, then a grin spread across his face.  He took her in his arms and swung her around.  Even in the dark prison, nothing could dampen their happiness.  “If you can channel, perhaps the child will be able to as well,” Nyrin whispered excitedly.  The smile disappeared from Rallith’s face.

            “By the Light, I hope it’s a girl, then,” he said.  “I wouldn’t want any son of mine to go through this.”  He gestured to the cell that enclosed them.  Nyrin reached up and touched his face.

            “Don’t worry, love.  I won’t let anything happen to our child.  I will protect them and tell them always that their father was a brave man, and a strong one,” she promised, then thought for a moment.  “Are you afraid?” she asked.

            “Not exactly.  I never posed a danger to anyone, in fact, I didn’t know I could channel until this morning.  Do you know how they found me?”

            “How?”

            “Do you remember when my brother nearly died while hunting a few weeks ago?  Everyone thought his injuries were too serious for him to survive, yet he did.”

            “You Healed him!” Nyrin said.  “They want to gentle you for Healing someone?”

            “Not for Healing him, but for having the ability to do it.  Any man who can channel is perceived as a threat, you know that,” Rallith told her.  Nyrin could think of nothing to say in response.  During the quiet, the guard pushed the door open.

            “It would be best for you to be going now, M’lady.  The Aes Sedai could be back any time now,” he said.  Nyrin grabbed Rallith’s had and held it tightly.  As their fingers parted, she mouthed the words “I love you,” and was gone. 

 

            Try as she did, nothing Nyrin could have done would have hidden her condition from her mother.  Kelara watched her daughter like a hawk, and when she began to notice changes in her moods and habits she demanded to be told what was going on.  Nyrin had no choice but to tell her, and from that point on, Kelara took complete control of her daughter’s life.

            “You are not to tell anyone about this, do you understand me, girl?  It’s bad enough that the child is illegitimate, but its father is that filthy channeler!”  Kelara towered over her daughter, who was lying on the bed after the bout of morning sickness that had finally confirmed her suspicions.  “From now on, you will not leave this house without my permission.  I think I can hide your…embarrassing condition, as long as you aren’t out in public very much.  I will have some clothes tailored to hide it as much as possible.”  The contempt she felt for both Nyrin and the child was obvious.  She looked at Nyrin as one would look at some diseased beggar in the street.  There was nothing Nyrin could do about it except take her mother’s harsh comments in silence. 

            News trickled back from Tar Valon that the man taken in Caemlyn had died during the process of being gentled.  This news was one more blow to Nyrin’s spirits, which were already low.  She refused to eat, move, or speak to anyone.  The servants of the house left her alone, but her mother had less sympathy for her.  Kelara entered the room with a bowl of soup and some bread.  Before she could say anything Nyrin was already shouting.

            “Why? Why, Mother?  This didn’t have to happen!  You know that Rallith would have been a good husband for me!  If you only would have allowed us to marry, this never would have happened!”

            “Rallith Neseldran was the third son of a minor house.  Though he was socially your equal, you will marry much higher than that.  As for your other assertion, he would have been found eventually, and you would have had the stigma of being married to a dangerous channeler.  Now, you should eat something.  You haven’t had anything all day.” 

            “I’m not hungry,” Nyrin said, turning her back on her mother.  Kelara set the tray on the table next to the bed.

            “You know that this could hurt your child, don’t you?” she asked.  “Now, I personally don’t care whether it lives or dies, but I will not have you moping around and disturbing the servants.  It would take only one of them learning our little secret to put us both in an embarrassing social position.  You know how servants talk.  Now eat.” Nyrin shook her head.

“I don’t care if I have to force you to eat this myself,” Kelara growled.  Reluctantly, Nyrin reached for the bowl and began to eat.  She had to admit she didn’t want to die.  If it was only her own life, she would have let herself waste away long ago, but she was not the only one she was responsible for.  Every time she felt her child move inside of her she was more determined to survive.

……..

            The months passed, and Nyrin’s stomach swelled.  Somehow, through Kelara’s efforts and those of a tailor with deft fingers, no one discovered their secret.  In late spring, with the child due at any time, Kelara came into her daughter’s room and ordered her to have some things packed.  With some difficulty, she rose from the bed.

            “Why, mother?  Where are we going?” she asked. 

            “Lord Dervin is having a party to celebrate the start of summer, and he has invited all of his guests to stay at his estate outside Caemlyn.  You and I will be going,” Kelara told her.  Nyrin gave her a sarcastic half smile.

            “Now I know you want this child to die.  Are you mad?  I could have my baby at any time, and you want me to leave the house for a party?” she shook her head and laughed to herself.

            “You will not have your baby for at least several more days, and if you think I’m going to let you have it in this house, it is you who are mad, and not I.  Dervin’s mansion is large, and I’m sure he will have a quiet room for you when I tell him you aren’t feeling well.  All of the guests will meet at the Queensman Inn tonight at sundown before traveling to his estate in the morning.  I will send one of the servants up to help you get ready.” 

An hour later, Nyrin found herself in a carriage with her mother, rumbling through the streets of the old city.  The setting sun struck the domes and columns of the palaces of Caemlyn so that it seemed every roof was ablaze.   They stopped in front of an inn that already bustled with activity.  Even in her tired state, Nyrin could recognize the sigils of many major and minor houses of Andoran nobility painted on the sides of carriages.  Lord Dervin himself came out of the inn to greet them, he was an old friend of Kelara’s, and the gossip in court circles said he would have been much more, had she not married Nyrin’s father.  He greeted Kelara with a graceful bow, and called his own servants to help Nyrin to the ground.  She gave him a weak but thankful smile.  Inside the Queensman, the tables had been pushed against the walls, and the floor was alive with dancers.  Kelara found a table for herself and her daughter, and once seated never moved from Nyrin’s side.  Into the night, various nobles stopped and chatted with them, always rejoining the celebration after a few minutes.  The innkeeper, Darol Nerander, and his wife Therien kept their serving girls busy filling glasses and plates, while they themselves moved among the guests. 

An hour before midnight, Nyrin was exhausted.  The noise in the room had given her a pounding headache, and she felt as if she were going to burst at any minute.  Convulsively, she reached out and grabbed her mother’s hand.

“Mother!  I need to go upstairs!” she whispered.

“What is wrong with you?  Let go of my hand,” Kelara said.

“For once in your life, you were wrong, Mother,” Nyrin said, a little smile of triumph spreading across her face.  “This child is not going to wait for a few more days.  It is going to come now.”  Kelara shook her head disgustedly and waved two of the serving girls over.

“My daughter is not feeling well.  Would you please help her to her room?” she asked sweetly.  Both girls set their trays on the table.  Each one supported one of Nyrin’s arms as they gently helped her up the stairs.   In her room, they carefully laid her on the bed.  Kelara appeared a minute later and assured them that Nyrin would be fine, she was just tired.  Nyrin tried to reach out to them, to bid them to stay, but they did not see her.  Both girls curtsied to Kelara and left the room. 

“Where is the midwife, Mother?” Nyrin asked when they were alone.

“A midwife would be one more person to know our secret.  Besides, I am not one of those women who faints at the sight of blood.  When I was a girl, I saw many animals give birth in my father’s stables.  There is no reason to involve anyone else.”  She pressed a cup of hot liquid into her daughter’s hands.  “Drink this.  It should ease the pain.  We couldn’t have you making a racket, now, could we?”  Reluctantly, Nyrin raised the cup to her lips.  It held some sort of tea with herbs mixed in.  She drained it, and immediately felt better.  The soothing mixture calmed her unsteady heart and made her relax.  She fell back onto the pillows stacked at the head of her bed.  She did not see Kelara’s satisfied smile as unconsciousness took her.

            She woke as the first light of dawn was appearing over Caemlyn.  Kelara stood in the corner wrapping a small bundle in a sheet.  Nyrin tried to sit up but fell back onto the bed.

            “Mother!  What happened?” she asked.

            “The herbs I gave you put you to sleep.  The child is born, and you never felt a thing,” Kelara answered. 

            “Let me see my baby!” Nyrin demanded, desperation creeping into her eyes.   Kelara picked the child up off of the other bed and handed it to her.  Nyrin pushed back the blanket that covered it, and exclaimed, “I have a daughter!”  She inspected the girl, and saw that she was perfectly formed.  She had inherited her Nyrin’s auburn hair and Rallith’s brown eyes.  As Nyrin took her in her arms, she yawned sleepily and opened her eyes.  Nyrin gasped.  “Rallith’s eyes…”she murmured, her voice drifting off into her own recollections. 

            “Enough of that, now,” Kelara said, snatching the girl from Nyrin’s arms.  “We will leave the inn within the hour, and you need to get ready.”  She wrapped the child in the blanket and set her back on the bed.  “Get up, Nyrin,” she commanded.  With some difficulty, Nyrin rose from the bed and made her way to a chair in the corner of the room.  Kelara began to strip the sheets off of the bed.  She folded them methodically and put them in one of the trunks containing her clothes.  “As you can see, I was not unprepared for this eventuality.  I brought our own bedclothes, just in case.”  She brought another set of sheets out from beneath the bed and began to put them on.  Nyrin watched in tired fascination as her mother performed the servant’s task.

“No one will ever suspect that a child was born here,” Kelara said triumphantly.  Nyrin smiled.

            “What do you think everyone is going to suspect when I come downstairs with her this morning?” she asked.  Kelara arched her eyebrows at her daughter, and began to laugh.  Shaking her head, she sat on the bed she had just made. 

            “I always knew you were a foolish girl, but now…” Kelara chuckled again, and when she finally regained the ability to speak, said, “If you thought even for a moment that I was going to let you keep this child, you are more stupid than I ever suspected.  I may as well have let you advertise your condition to the whole city!  No, my dear, when we leave this place, that child will not be with us.”

            “No!” Nyrin shrieked.  “Mother, why?  What will happen to her?”  She tried to get out of the chair and cross the room to where the child lay, but she was too weak. 

            “Keep your voice down, girl!  Why?  What a silly question.  I will not have it known that my daughter has a fatherless child, much less one that was fathered by a man who could channel the One Power.  I could not care any less what happens to her, but I know the woman who owns this inn, Therien Nerander, and I know that she is a good woman.  She will take the child in, or find someone who will.  Now, we must prepare to leave.”  Kelara helped her daughter to dress, and packed the rest of their belongings.  All the while, the child slept peacefully on the bed.  When Kelara’s back was turned, Nyrin managed to slip a ring from her finger bearing the sigil of house Tarillon and put it inside of the blanket the girl was wrapped in.  It was comforting, knowing that perhaps her child would have some way to find her, someday.  Her hopes were short lived.  Just before they left, Kelara unwrapped the child and discovered the ring.

            “You have read to many stories, Nyrin, in which the hero discovers he is of noble birth because of some token left with him at birth.  I did not think you would actually try it, but I suppose it is fortunate that I checked,” she said, and handed the ring back to Nyrin.  “Now, we must go.” 

            “Let me see her one last time!” Nyrin pleaded.

            “That would not be advisable.  She is dead to you the instant we leave here, so why should you put yourself through needless suffering?” Kelara answered.  They descended the stairs into the common room, where Lord Dervin and his other guests were already assembled.  All of them laughed and talked as their baggage was loaded onto their carriages.  Nyrin sat alone until it was announced that all was ready.  Her mother helped her into the carriage, and they began to roll through the streets of Caemlyn.  It was late spring, and the countryside around the city was green and lush.  Kelara breathed in the fresh air with satisfaction, but Nyrin only stared out the window mournfully. 

            “Don’t pout, child.  It is so unbecoming,” Kelara chided. 

            “I wasn’t even allowed to name my own child, or see her for more than two seconds!  And you tell me not to pout?”  Nyrin shot back.  Real hatred blazed in her eyes for the first time.

            “You will never speak of that to me or anyone else again.  Do you understand me?”  Kelara demanded.  “As far as we are concerned, she is dead.  It is for the best.  Now, I know you are a devious girl, and the instant you are back in Caemlyn, you will be trying to go to the Queensman and retrieve your brat.  That, of course, is unacceptable.  And that is why you will not be returning to Caemlyn.”

            “What?  What are you talking about, Mother?” Nyrin asked, clearly shocked. 

            “You are getting married.  When we arrive at Dervin’s, I will introduce you to Tallar Paranon.  He is the son of one of Dervin’s Illianer friends.  He is high born, handsome, and charming.  You will like him.  As soon as you are married, you will be going back to Illian with your husband,” Kelara told her.  As much as she had been trying not to cry, this announcement was too much for Nyrin.  Hot tears streamed down her cheeks.  Kelara handed her a handkerchief.  “Wipe your face, we are almost there.”  Glaring at her mother, she did what she was told. 

            The carriage pulled up in front of Lord Dervin’s house.  It was a beautiful estate, white columns gleamed in the sun, and the guests that had already arrived added spots of color like so many wildflowers on the lawn.  Dervin himself helped Kelara to the ground.  Beside him stood a young man in Illianer garb.  He bowed deeply to her.

            “Nyrin,” Dervin said, “I would like to introduce you to Tallar Paranon.”  Nyrin took one look at the man she would eventually marry, and fainted dead away from shock and exhaustion. 

………

            Therien Nerander was pleased.  The group of nobles who had stayed at the Queensman the previous night had eaten well, drunk plentifully, and gone away happy.  Not for the first time, she was glad for her friendship with Lord Dervin.  She bustled around the inn, going from room to room and making sure all was ready for the next guests.  Her youngest son Laric trailed behind her, doing his best to help his mother.  She smiled fondly at him.  Her sons were a blessing to her, but how nice it would have been to have a daughter!  Not one to dwell on the impossible, Therien opened the door of the next room to be cleaned.  At first, she thought one of the guests had left some of their belongings in a bundle on the bed.  Getting closer, she realized it was one of the inn’s own blankets.  She began to pick it up when the blanket cried.  Therien pulled back one of the folds, and revealed a small face.  Laric laughed and waved his hand in front of the child, who smiled and tried to catch it. 

            “Laric, go find your father,” Therien instructed.  “Tell him to come up here.”  The little boy nodded and raced out of the room and down the stairs.  Therien unwrapped the child and shook the blanket, the searched the rest of the room for some clue to the girl’s identity.  Finding nothing, she rewrapped the child and picked her up, talking gently.  She was still playing with the baby when her husband, Darol, stepped into the room.  Therien unceremoniously handed him the child. 

            “Look at what I’ve found,” she said.  Darol looked at the child curiously.

            “Where did she come from?” he asked, smiling at the girl in his arms.  The child smiled back, reached out and grabbed the hand Darol was using to stroke her face, and laughed.

            “She likes you,” Therien said.  “Where did she come from?  I have no idea.  I suspect that group of nobles might have something to do with it.  If not them, perhaps one of their servants.  Strange, though.  Not many nobles would forget their children, unless it was intentional.  Just think, Darol!  All this time, we have hoped for a girl, and here she is!”  

            “Still,” Darol cautioned, “we should try and find her family.”

            “Of course we will.  I will speak with Dervin the next time I see him and ask if he has heard anything,” Therien assured him.  As it turned out, she didn’t have long to wait.  Dervin was back that evening to retrieve a piece of jewelry forgotten by one of his guests.  Therien laughed when she heard the purpose of his visit.  “Always the gentleman,” she said.  Dervin bowed elegantly to her.  “Dervin,” she asked, “have you heard anything about a missing child?”  This morning, after all of you left, I found a baby in one of the rooms, wrapped in nothing but one of our blankets.  She was no more than a few days old, possibly only a few hours.”  He shook his head.

            “I have heard nothing.”  Looking at the child in Therien’s arms, he smiled sadly.  “Poor girl, left with nothing but a blanket that doesn’t even belong to her.  Most likely, some poor servant couldn’t afford to keep her and left her here.  There is always the possibility that someone from the street snuck in and left her.”  Therien nodded.  “What will you do with her?” Dervin asked. 

            “Darol and I will keep her here, and raise her as our own.  The Light knows I love my boys, but I have always wanted a daughter,” she told him.  Dervin nodded with approval and turned to leave.   

            “You are a good woman, Therien,” he said.  “Her mother was right to bring her here.”  As he walked out the door, he turned to ask one last question.  “What will you name her?”  Therien looked deep into the child’s eyes, and knew the name she had chosen was the right one.

            “Corrielle,” she told him. 

            “A beautiful name,” Dervin said.  “I must be getting back now.  Light shine on you, Therien, and Corrielle, also.”  Therien did not see him leave, for she was still staring into the deep brown pools that were her daughter’s eyes.