Racial Stereotypes

We all love to abuse and ridicule those based on their racial / cultural group.  We've been doing it for centuries; which was the common cause for many trade disputes and even wars. YES, WARS. Hmm.. that was odd. Anyway the image on the left best symbolizes multiculturalism in our home country of Australia: a whole bunch of ethnic groups all gathered together for one big orgy ("only one Asian?" you may think, but he's right in the middle getting all the love BABY!) and you got the dumbass fat white kid all alone in Tasmania.  Does this mean that Tasmania is full of stupid white people? I think so.

Well! Lets get right into it! We'll start with one of my personal favourites:

Taco you say? yes. These people include Spanish, Portuguese, Mexicans (obviously), South Americans, Cuban Drug Lords, and other Hispanics.  The typical image of a Taco is alike to the image to the left: obviously intoxicated, hairy, somewhat obese, and under the influence of a fat cigar (unfortunately, this taco couldn't acquire a fat Cuban cigar, but he's too drunk to know any difference).  Taco's typically enjoy playing, arguing, gambling, and starting riots about soccer.  They are known for exerting all their energies in becoming famous soccer players and being fat hairy pimps. Quite a hospitable race, with attractive females - and that's what really matters.

< CLICK ME TO HEAR RICARDO (RIGHT) TALK

2.  Noodles, Nips, Gooks, Chins, Chinks, etc (Asians)

Well, with Noodles, you typically have two different varieties: assimilated noodles, and immigrant noodles. The immigrant noodles are typically depicted as the ladies on the left: totally technologically advanced (almost into that alien technology they have in Stargate), very odd fashion sense, especially with their taste in jeans, eyeglasses, strange anti-aero-dynamic hair styles, and a great abundance in cash. 

My buddy Richard went off to the casino in Melbourne the other weekend and there were a shitload of drunken asians just putting fuckloads of chips down on any number in roulette, and on every turn, they keep losing all their cash. Every now and then, they'd win a few and cheer and go all drunk-berserker, but as soon as they lose their money, they run off to the bank only to cash out MORE chips... How do they get the money you may think? I have the simple answer: DRUGS. They ALL DEAL DRUGS. 

The assimilated Noodles are the product of the White Australia Policy.  I believe that the Australian Government is still servicing this ancient policy in secret, through the use of television brainwashing.. BEWARE! The image below is an example of an assimilated Noodle:

Trekkie: "Hey Captain check out my new toy!"

Asian: "I am an Asian Robot.. GLITCH!"

Well this is how they REALLY look like.  They all listen to Rap/Hip Hop/R&B and walk around like gangsters. Obsessed with grossly modifying cheap Japanese cars and eating yum-cha, these people are generally extremely stoic, and rarely show emotion, unless it involves ... well I don't really know.  The whole idea of "face" or respect is still very evident in assimilated Asian culture, which I believe does cause a lot of those Asian Triad Wars... like that dude with the shaved blonde hair-doo in Rush Hour 1.  That guy is a total badass, killing everything around that gets in his way.  Or that Jet Li character in Lethal Weapon IV; that motherfucker just fucks EVERYONE up.  I reckon he'd beat the shit outta that Jun-Tao dude in Rush Hour.  Those are great examples of assimilated Asians; they just run around beating people up. Watch Out!

3. Curries (Indian, Pakistan, Sri Lankan)

No I'm talking about those "Native American" Indians here for all you international fans, I'm talking about REAL Indains: from India naturally. Out here in Australia, like Noodles, we have two types of Indians: Assimilated and Immigrant.  The assimilated type are like totally obsessed with the whole "yeah nigga we black" shit. Damn that shit! Indians people aren't black: YOU'RE INDIAN.  Well these Indian folk are pretty smart in all subjects at school except for English.  They all end up working in the medicine field or some shit like that and good on em!  They have the C-Unit thing going which is totally weird... but the noodles would totally beat the shit outta these guys man! Noodle power!!

Oh Yes! Indians love to get jiggy with it! Immigrant Indians tend to lend themselves completely to poverty (ie Apu from the Simpsons) to achieve their goals in life.  Indians usually grow to be big and strong like the guys Indiana Jones fights in the Temple of Doom.  All of India's collective energies goes into cricket. The reason being its a shitty sport and it requires minimal effort or skill. There is no real "team" element of the sport or any physical contact. Its like watching grass grow or paint dry : complete boredom.

4. Wogs (Italians, Greeks, etc)

Well wogs are generally horny people, very hairy and large noses. They are very passionate people that on the often occasion get passionate enough to start riots around Sydney screaming "FORZA ITALIA" whenever an Italian team loses to say, an English Team.  I can't really think up any funny shit about wogs except that they suffer from terrible BO and are a bunch of fools back in the WWs when they switched alliances two because they were too chicken to fight for the side they chose in the first place. I reckon they're all Nazi's, and in secret they gather in their little soccer matches to muster groups together resources.  During the year 2007 they will reveal themselves as Nazis and we'll see WWIII. Damn left-wing Traitors!

"Damn my hairy italian testicles! They're givin me a rash!"

Here's the wogs at it again, starting another large scale riot in Leichart (spelt incorrectly?), Sydney.  This was during the World Cup when Korea paid off the umpires so that Italy would lose once again, to the Noodles. Obviously Italians aren't as rich as Noodles, which is why they lost.  Modern sports have nothing to do with talent: its all business. Wait a second! you may think.. They're Asians! NOT BLOODY WOGS! dumbass el Frendez.. but no! they're all wogs DISGUISED as noodles to trick the police (also dressed as noodles). That way when the authorities come by to arrest them, they wont know who's who.  All Asians look the same.. ooohh clever wogs!

5. White Trash (white people! duh!)

All white people are typically depicted as the photo on the right suggests: KKK

Yes the white man is evil! Well I dunno.. I can't really seem to find any real white trash stereotype. Well you got westies. They're totally feral. They're like totally gross people.. Eck! They're all obese, have messed up muff hair on their heads, freckles.. ohh.. just the thought of them is making me hurl *throws up on keyboard*.  They got some shit about being "superior" since that asshole Darwin came up with his "survival of the fittest shit" so you get the guys like the KKK.  On the other hand u have the nice decent type.  The ones that DON't run around with rifles and pitchforks enslaving cultures, racial genocide (Tasmania) and generally acting totally paranoid.

Well you also got surfer people.. which are like bronze from the sun, blonde hair from the constant use of bleach peroxide and ... yeah I like surfers. They're mostly potheads and druggies but anyway.. I was gonna put up a pic of a surfer but Arnold's much better. In Austrian accent: "Look at my biceps.. they are so sexual. They could crush your face into my finely toned buttocks."  How cool is Arnold man? If only he was born in the USA, he could run for president and win. Screw Bush and Kerry, and the War on Terror.. This guy would literally lead the US Armed Forces into battle and kill all innocent children, women and men.. Even their pets! wait.. did I write innocent? I meant to write Arab! Why is it that all Arabs and Muslims hate Americans? Can't they just forgive and forget like all other cultures? Geez!

6. Black People

Well the common stereotype for black people is that they can ALL play basketball really well, they all rap, average height of around 7 feet, weigh 300 lbs, and generally aggressive people.  Always going crazy when they don't get their soul food or if a "brother" lands in jail for committing a crime - or for just being black.  You got two types of black people: you get the guy "Carlton Banks" from Fresh Prince, guys like "Steve Urkel" from Family matters or the Traditional huge black dude that works out like everyday to steal shit from his neighbour. I dunno what possessed me to put up the "black superman" but its there.  Why is it that black people always lose in movies? Forrest Gump had "Bubba" die, Rocky defeated Mr T and Apollo Creed, Steven Segal beat that fit black guy in Exit Wounds, blah blah blah. As if Steven Segal could beat that black guy. Steven Segal's and old shit that can't act and barely talk properly. I beat the black superman guy could beat the shit outta him.  There's no justice in society. All this work in the media is the result of KKK white people acting in secret organizations like the StoneCutters in the Simpsons. 

7. Arabs, Sand-monkeys, Habibs, Ahkmeds, Wookies, Terrorists

I wasn't too sure if I should stereotype all people of Arabic origins as Terrorists but they are all generally over-aggressive.  All of these guys are extremely and when they miss an hourly electrolysis session, they appear as the image indicates (left).  And whats with all these guys banding together to kill and terrorize others? What a load of crap.. they're such a bunch of pussies.. they're out in Afghanistan crawling around in caves like a game of hide and seek with the US Forces.  Its about time Bush launched a couple of ICBMs into those bunkers and nuke the fuck outta the Middle East. War on Terror over.  Anyway, I'm getting off topic.  Arab people love to drive around in old (stolen) BMWs, WRXs (also stolen) and Holden Geminis.  There was this whole thing about the gang rape shit gave Lebs a bad rep everywhere but after 9/11 everyone got over it.  Well I can't REALLY think of anything random to tell you about Arabs, so I'll just google "Arab" and post up the wierdest shit I can find:

The internet is indeed a strange place.  Google "arab" in the image search and you get this as the first match. WHAT THE?

Well to end this site, I give you Yoda. This little alien fucker would beat the shit outta any race on earth once with his light saber, twice with his force lightning shit, and thrice with his evil voice. Watch out man.. This guy is the real shit.  Star Wars Episode III coming out next year will have Yoda just beating the fuck outta everyone. Even that Sith asshole Dooku.

"The fuck beat out of you, I will." -Yoda