--------------------------------------------------------------------------- WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY? WLIIA Chat Games --------------------------------------------------------------------------- WORLD'S WORST (Part Four) --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Game: World's Worst Players: duddy, EmileJ, jk, JoeIsham, Lisa00, Marsha3, SinghSong Scene: World's worst person to do building work on your house. YAY FOR SALAMI! YAY FOR SALAMI... YOUR STEREO'S CRAP. THAT'S NOT THE ONLY CRACK I SEE.... HOW BOUT INSTEAD OF NAILING THIS BOARD I NAIL YOU? * Lisa00 apologizes in advance for what Matt did to her mind... LOL! Haha! I'VE GOT THE PEANUT BUTTER FOR THE INSULATION RIGHT HERE.... HOWARD, FINE AND HOWARD?... ARE YOU *SURE* YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING?... MILK AND TWENTY-NINE SUGARS. I'M FROM "RODEO PRESERVATIONS AND DECORATIONS". BUT I'M NOT A COWBOY... WE USE FLUFFY PINK MATERIAL FOR INSULATION. GIMME YOUR LINGERIE! I DRIVE NAILS BEST WHEN *I'M* HAMMERED! I FEEL LIKE HAMMERING SOMETHING RIGHT NOW. WOW, THIS INSULATION IS SO COMFY...I THINK I'LL TAKE A NAP... I NEED A SCREW! Don't look at me! ;-) I SAID BOARD! NOT BORED! GET JOHN SESSIONS OUT OF HERE! LOL! YOU COULD EASILY BEND OVER THAT WORKBENCH... THAT PAINT SMELLS GOOD. *faint* DON'T YOU LIKE WHAT I'VE DONE TO YOUR WINDOWS? NOW THEY'RE A PANE IN THE GLASS!! CASH ONLY, OF COURSE. MY BRUSH ISN'T STICKY ENOUGH... ;) I DREW MY INSPIRATION FROM TEXAS STADIUM... THERE'S A HOLE IN THE ROOF! * duddy apologises yet again. SALAMI IS THE BREATH OF LIFE! UH, HERE'S YOUR HOUSE... PAINT THE HOUSE? SURE - DO YOU HAVE THE WATERCOLOURS AND THE EASEL? WE'VE RUN OUT OF HARDWOOD SO WE HAD TO USE TWIGLETS TO FINISH THE REST OF THE WALL. HELLO... WE'RE STEVIE WONDER AND RAY CHARLES (sorry, sorry...) I HAVE 2000 POPSICLES TO EAT BEFORE I HAVE ENOUGH STICKS.... ACHOO! OH I'M SORRY...WE'LL HAVE TO START AGAIN! WE'VE RUN OUT OF PAINT, WE'LL HAVE TO USE TIPPEX. I'VE FURNISHED THE REST OF THE HOUSE OUT OF DRINKING STRAWS. NOW IT TRULY SUCKS! LOL! YOU WANT THE ROOF WHERE? WHAT'S THIS POST DOING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROOM?.... WE HAVE WORMS WHERE? WE HAVE TERMITES WHERE? LOL Copycat! Great minds think alike. :) I NOTICED THAT PHOTO OF YOUR WIFE ON THE TELLY. SHE'S A BIT OF A DOG... * duddy assures everyone this is just an act. WHAT THIS HOUSE NEEDS IS...BODY PAINT! (JUMPS INTO A POOL OF PAINT) I NOTICED THAT PHOTO OF YOUR DOG ON THE TELLY, SHE'S KINDA CUTE... LOL! I FIGGERED SINCE YOU AIN'T NO MICROSOFT FAN, I'D JUST GET RID OF YOUR WINDOWS... HEY, THE BEDROOM IS GREAT... AND SO'S YOUR DAUGHTER, HEH HEH! WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T HAVE A DAUGHTER? YOUR DAUGHTER'S CERTAINLY MORE ADVENTUROUS THAN YOUR WIFE! THAT WHITE STUFF ON THE WALL, IT AIN'T PAINT... * duddy can't believe he wrote that! <<<<>>>> Matt!!! Oops! NO, THAT WASN'T A TYPO. I *MEANT* HEATED POO, NOT POOL! Ergh!!! THE WATER RAN OUT AS WE WERE FILLING THE POOL, SO WE USED OUR OWN... SO WHAT IF THE TOILET IS CONNECTED TO THE SINK? Okay, I can see where these are going! :) LOL! I PAINTED YOUR HOUSE WITH THE LATEST COLOUR FROM GLIDDEN -- NEON LOVE CHICKEN. LOL Emile! I HAD A SHOWER WHILE I WAS HERE. YOU'LL HAVE TO REMOVE THE HAIRS... I PAINTED YOUR HOUSE *WITH* A NEON LOVE CHICKEN! YOU'LL HAVE THE HOTTEST PAD IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD... IT'S BURNING DOWN RIGHT NOW! WELL, OKAY, I GUESS THE MIRRORED WALLS, FLOOR AND CEILING IN THE BATHROOM WERE KIND OF UNNECCESSARY... * duddy finds mirrored rooms quite necessary actually... ;) * SinghSong *wonders* about duddy. WHAT'S MORTAR??? I'VE WASHED OUT YOUR FIREPLACE. * duddy assures everyone that wasn't a euphemism. I FEEL THAT WALLS ARE SO CONFINING... HAVE YOU EVER HAD FUN WITH A FLOOR WAXER? I BLOCKED YOUR CHIMNEY BY ACCIDENT, THOUGH IT'S OK AS I TOLD YOUR KIDS SANTA DOESN'T EXIST. * duddy still believes in the tooth fairy though. DON'T YOU THINK YOUR CARPET LOOKS BETTER WITH HOLES? WANT TO CHECK OUT MY HARD BRICK? * duddy is certain he spelt that correctly I POURED THE SPARE CONCRETE DOWN THE SINK. I think we need a new topic... Same here! :) * duddy agrees, if only for his own sanity! Is there anything that won't trigger matt's dirty mind? No there isn't. :) --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Game: World's Worst Players: Denny, JoeIsham, Maruyama, Meskimen, Mochrie, MsBrady, Proops, Sweeney, Tralaman Scene: World's worst thing to say at a wedding. YOU? IN WHITE? HA! LOL!!! I CAME HERE TO SEE A SHOW! WHO THE HELL ARE TONY 'N' TINA??? LOOK, I HATE TO INTERRUPT, BUT I'M CARRYING THE GROOM'S CHILD. "DO YOU TAKE THIS WOMAN?" "ALREADY HAVE MATE!" DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY I'M THE "BEST MAN"? YOUR WIFE'S AT THE CHURCH DOOR, HURRY UP! LOL! I'VE DECIDED YOUR DRESS NEEDS A MORE HIP COLOUR, I'VE PICKED IT OUT, A LOVELY COLOUR CALLED "NEON LOVE CHICKEN". WELL I'M NOT A *REAL* PRIEST.... IF I GET BORED OF HER, CAN I HAVE A BRIDESMAID? IF I GET BORED OF HER, CAN I HAVE A CHOIRBOY? EEEE! DO YOU TAKE THIS WOMAN? "I GUESS". HE'S PLAYING WITH HIS ORGAN! AND SO'S THE ORGANIST... YOU THINK *THAT'S* AN ORGAN? TAKE A LOOK AT *THIS*!!! I'VE KNOWN STEPHANIE FOR YEARS, I REMEMBER WHEN SHE WAS STEVE! WE'RE GATHERED HERE TO BID FAREWELL TO YOUR FREEDOM, MWAHAHAHA! DEB, I'VE DECIDED TO RENEW MY VOWS TO YOU IN THE STYLE OF A HOEDOWN! LET'S GO THROUGH THIS "LOVE, HONOUR, CHERISH, OBEY" THING AGAIN... WHICH ONE'S THE GROOM? LOL! SPEAK NOW OR FOREVER HOLD YOUR PENIS... ER, PEACE. AND DO YOU TAKE THIS...MAN, WOMAN, WHATEVER YOU ARE... A...E...I...O...U... OH! YOU MEANT "VOWS", NOT "VOWELS"! SILLY ME! LOL! HOW MANY WIVES IS THAT NOW? DO YOU, JOHN SESSIONS, TAKE YOUR EGO TO BE YOUR LAWFUL WEDDED.... I'M SORRY, BUT YOU DON'T QUALIFY FOR A CHURCH WEDDING, TOO MANY SINS. DO YOU HAVE THE RING? DON'T BE FILTHY, VICAR... LOL! "SHE'S ONLY MARRYING HIM FOR HIS MONEY." "SHE'S MARRYING MY SON!" LOL! FEED HER THE CAKE, JEFF!!! DO YOU, VERONICA, TAKE THIS MAN TO BE YOUR WEDDED HUSBAND, OR WOULD YOU RATHER DUMP THE BUM AND MARRY ME INSTEAD? WE'D LIKE TO THANK YOU ALL FOR COMING, AND WE'LL SEE YOU IN A WEEK WHEN WE RETURN FROM OUR HONEYMOON IN WELLAND. WEDDING PHOTOS? SURE - CAN I DO THE WEDDING NIGHT AS WELL? OH COME NOW, BEELZEBUB, THE WEDDING'S NO TIME TO BE HORNY!! I TAKE THEE TO BE MY AWFUL WEDDED WIFE... LAWFUL! I MEANT LAWFUL!!! YOU CAN STROLL DOWN *MY* AISLE ANY TIME! HOW WAS THE STAG NIGHT? OH, YOU SLEPT WITH A STAG? WHY THE HELL DID I LOOK UNDER THE VEIL? WHY OH WHY OH WHY OH WHY! WHEN I SAID A BRIDAL OUTFIT, I DIDN'T MEAN A SADDLE AND REINS! DON'T SING WOMAN - THOSE STAINED GLASS WINDOWS COST A FORTUNE. I'M SO THRILLED TO HAVE MARRIED YOU - I'LL NOW SAVE 30 PER CENT IN TAX. I think we're outta ideas ;-) Anyone havn't contributed yet? CAN I BE THE NEXT HUSBAND? BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!! A quick one, but good I can't think of any... Enjoyed that! Maybe a different topic! PICKUPS!!! LOL! I'll be Dan! "Now, think back to the beginning of the evening....when you still had hope in your hearts and feeling in your bottoms." Actually, Dan's line would make a really good pick-up line. Is this thing on? LOL! --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Game: World's Worst Players: Bremner, Denny, Mochrie, SinghSong Scene: World's worst thing to say on your honeymoon. YOU KNOW, THAT DIDN'T AWLAYS USED TO BE THERE. BUT BUT BUT...YOU SAID SIZE *DIDN'T* MATTER... I CAN'T WAIT TO .... OH, HELLO VICAR! ..... THANK GOD FOR VIAGARA! This will NOT be clean Clive! Not if *I* can help it ;) I'VE BROUGHT MY MOTHER ALONG. MOMMY!? WHAT? YOU'RE ALLERGIC TO CATS? LET'S TAKE A BATH TOGETHER...BUT RUBBER DUCKY GETS TO JOIN IN THE FUN, OK? MY BREASTS ARE MADE OF WOOD, IS THAT GOING TO BE A PROBLEM? HUH? OH NO! I WOULD NEVER SCREAM OUT MY MOM'S NAME ON PURPOSE... HEY! I THOUGHT YOU'D LOVE A HONEYMOON IN VIAGRA FALLS!.... NIAGRA? WHAT THE HELL KIND OF NAME IS THAT?! ...HEY!, THAT'S COOL!, MY *beeep* IS MADE OF WOOD! Your hand? Brem: close ;) D'YA FANCY TRIPLETS BEFORE DINNER? WE'RE NOT GOING TO NIAGARA FALLS FOR OUR HONEYMOON ANYMORE... THERE'S BEEN A CHANGE OF PLANS, WE'RE GOING TO SARNIA! Wooo!!! My hometown! OH, BY THE WAY, I'M A WHOSER ;) YOU KNOW, GYNECOLOGISTS ARE RATHER EXPENSIVE THESE DAYS...WANNA SAVE SOME MONEY? Ewww!!! Hehe! :) YOU KNOW PROCTOLOGISTS ARE KIND OF EXPENSIVE THESE DAYS..... Double ewww!!!! IF YOU WEREN'T A BIG BUTCH MAN I'D ASK YOU TO... BE MY WIFE. I'VE GOT WORMS WHERE?! OH, CRABS ARE A TURN OFF TO YOU? OF COURSE WE'RE STAYING IN THE BRIDAL SUITE, IT'S THE ONLY ONE WITH NINTENDO GAMES IN THE ROOM! WHY DID I LOOK UNDER THE VEIL? WHY OH WHY OH WHY OH WHY! WELL, YES. THE TWO-BED SUITE WAS THE LEAST EXPENSIVE... IF WE'RE GOING TO TAKE A JACUZZI, I NEED TO WEAR MY SNORKELING MASK... HONEY...MOON THE NEIGHBOURS WOULD YA? WAIT TILL I TELL MY GIRLFRIEND! SHE'S GONNA FLIP! UH......... DIDN'T I TELL YOU I WAS IMPOTENT? I *HAD* TO MARRY MIMI BOBECK, I JUST *HAD* TO! WAIT TILL I TELL MY BOYFRIEND! HE'S GONNA FLIP! UH......... Just kidding on that last one! Speaking of that, Sarnia had its first gay pride parade this weekend. I know Brem, I know. Is it time for the buzzer? Yep! GEE HONEY, I DIDN'T KNOW WE'D HONEYMOON IN THE TRUNK OF YOUR CAR....UH, WHERE ARE YOU GOING WITH THE KEYS? HONEY?....HONEY! THIS ISN'T FUNNY!!!!! HELP! HELP! HELP!! --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Game: World's Worst Players: Bremner, D_Siegel, Maruyama, Mochrie, Proopsie Scene: World's worst person to stop you at Canada Customs. DSOL, JE NE PARLE PAS ANGLAIS. OK ROVER, FIND THE DRUGS AND DADDY WILL GIVE YOU A NICE, LONG TREAT TONIGHT. Eeeeewwwwww! LOL! Uhhhh....that was gross! :) Hey, if you look in the big book of comedy a groan's as good as a laugh. =) SEE YOU TAKE THE FLAG, THEN LIGHT THE MATCH . . . DOES PEMMICAN COUNT AS A MEAT PRODUCT? YOU'RE GOING TO MONTRAL? TELL THE DANCERS AT CLUB SUPER SEXE THAT PETER SAID HI! WELCOME TO QUEBEC. YOU ARE NOW ENTERING HULL ON EARTH.... I WAS VISITING FRIENDS I MET ONLINE AND WENT TO 37 TV SHOW TAPINGS WITH THEM. WHY DO YOU ASK? Sorry, that was a little off. NO MR. MOCHRIE, WE DON'T SUSPECT YOU OF ANYTHING. JUST TAKE OFF YOUR PANTS PLEASE. LOOOVERS, IN A DANGEROUS TIME.... OH, YES I'M GOING TO MEET MY IDOL . . . JOHN SESSIONS! UH....WHY ARE YOU BRINGING BAGS OF POWDERED SUGAR INTO CANADA? CAN I BORROW SOME TO SWEETEN MY TEA? I'M SORRY, BUT YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO DECLARE YOUR PURCHASES IN THE STYLE OF A HOEDOWN. Ooh, I was gonna do that! You were gonna do that for real, or you were going to type that? =) LOL, type it! UMM... WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF YOUR VISIT TO DILDO, NEWFOUNDLAND, BASTARD TOWNSHIP, ONTARIO, AND OLD CUMMER, TORONTO, ONTARIO? This is a tough one! The game that is. Sure sure! =) I LOVE CANADA I REALLY REALLY DO . . . WELCOME TO CANADA, NOW GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE. WELCOME TO CANADA. I'M SORRY. YOU'RE BRINGING BACK TWIGLETS? I'M SORRY, BUT THE GST ON THOSE IS NOW 175%. LOL! Hehehe! WHAT YOUR NAME IS IMA TERRORIST? OH, GO AHEAD! I'M SORRY SIR, BUT I FIND YOUR ANSWER TO BE A LITTLE HARD TO BELIVE. NOBODY VISITS SASKATCHEWAN FOR *PLEASURE*. EVERYTHING'S YOU YOU YOU, WHAT ABOUT ME! WHAT ABOUT MY NEEDS!! DAMMIT, YOU DECLARE ALL DAY AND NIGHT, BUT DO I GET TO DECLARE? NOOOOOOOOOOO!!! LOL Emile! Thanks, that's overacting for you. YOU ARE NOW ENTERING CANADA, YOU MUST NOW CHANGE YOUR NAME TO GORDON. REALLY? YOUR GOING *JUST* TO SEE CTV, AND WILL BE BACK IN ABOUT A HALF AN HOUR? LOL! Or Doug according to Greg! LOL, yep =) Hmmmmmm this is getting tough! HEY, DO THAT DINOSAUR IMPRESSION FOR US. LOL! I'M SORRY, MR. SHERWOOD, BUT AFTER READING YOUR APPLICATION, "BEING A HOT STUDMUFFIN" IS NOT A VALID RESPONSE TO PREVIOUS OCCUPATION. DUTY FREE? HA! TO GET TO THE DUTY FREE SHOP, YOU HAVE TO WALK 15 KM THROUGHT TEN-FOOT SNOWDRIFTS, AND THEN PASS THROUGH A DOGSLED OBSTACLE COURSE! THE FOLLOWING PROVINCES ARE CLOSED TODAY: ALBERTA, QUEBEC, NEW BRUNSWICK... --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Game: World's Worst Players: Clive, gregsgirl, LovinRyan, Mochrie, Proopsie, Slattery Scene: World's worst advertising campaign I'M CLIVE ANDERSON, FOR HAIR CLUB FOR MEN... HERE AT JOHN SESSIONS' SCHOOL OF ACTING...... LOL! I'M TONY SLATTERY FOR THE SCHOOL OF ABSTINANCE... PETER THE PIMP - OURS ARE ALWAYS DONE UNDER 30 MIN OR LESS! AND HERE FOR DREW CAREY'S HOUSE OF PIE...AND....BUFFET... VISIT THE CHICKEN SHACK, WHERE OUR BREASTS ARE THE LARGEST ANYWHERE! LOL! LOL! I'M BILL CLINTON, AND I LOVE A GOOD CIGAR... HAVE YOU GOT A HANKERIN' FOR SOME HAGGIS? TWIGLETS, THE SNACK OF CHAMPIONS. AND HERE AT TONY'S TAILORS (AND RIPPED PANTS EMPORIUM...) LOL! LOL! VISIT BILL CLINTON'S CLOTHIERS, WHERE ALL HIS PANTS ARE HALF OFF! LOL! TOWER RECORDS INTRODUCES "THE HOEDOWNS OF COLIN MOCHRIE" LOL! LOL! VISIT MONICA'S SUPER DUPER SPOT SHOP STOP.... LEWINSKI'S CLEANERS - THEY'LL NEVER KNOW.... LOL! LOL! * Mochrie will never forgive himself for the one he's about to say. JONES SPORTING GOODS...PLAY WITH OUR BALLS AND WIN!! REALLY BAD RECORDS PRESENTS "THE BEST OF JOHN SESSIONS" THAT'S RIGHT, GET YOUR BLANK TAPES OR CDS HERE! LOLOLOLO! ROTFL! THE NEWEST BOOK FROM JOHN SESSIONS: THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING ME WELCOME TO DEBI DURST FASHION PARLOUR Ouch! ;) Ouch, Ang! :) LOL ANOTHER NEW BOOK BY JOHN SESSIONS: HOW DOES IT FEEL TO SEE RYAN IN MY OLD SPOT! LOL! LOL! AND NOW THE NEWEST LINE OF TONY SLATTERY UNDERWEAR... I PITY DA FOOL WHO DON'T USE PREPARATION T! JOIN THE SLATTERY SCHOOL OF MODESTY! ...WITH FREE FOLK SONG LESSONS! LOL! WELCOME TO CLIVE'S CENTER FOR NECK REPLACEMENT.... MIKE MCSHANE'S--"SWEATIN TO THE HOEDOWNS!" ONCE A BRIEF - UNDERWEAR FOR ALL LOL! LOL! ENROLL IN WAYNE BRADY'S GERMAN LANGUAGE CLASS..."VATTEN YOU TALKIN' ABOUT, VILLIS?" LOL! MIRC -- BETTER THAN AOL. WINDOWS 2000! COMING TO COMPUTERS IN 2004! --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Game: World's Worst Players: Cwej, EmileJ, Gregsgirl, JoeIsham, Locknestr Scene: World's worst Christmas present. AW JUST WHAT I WANTED A "MAKE ME LOOK LIKE JULIA WIG" ...YOU GOT ME A BALL OF STRING?... WOW, THE COLLECTED "KWIK WITZ" SCRIPTS! OH WOW! JOHN SESSION'S EGO! I HOPE THERE'S ENOUGH ROOM IN MY BEDROOM FOR IT. A VIDEO COLLECTION OF KISS ME KATE! IT'S THE "TEACH YOURSELF JOHN SESSIONS" BOOK! THANKYOU! "JUST WHAT I ALWAYS WANTED... THE CD OF 'SING-A-LONG-A-MERTON'!" LOL! HOW PRACTICAL! A BATTERY-OPERATED BATTERY CHARGER! ... OH DAMN, BATTERIES NOT INCLUDED. LOL! *G* THE "DO IT YOURSELF HOEDOWN KIT" ? A BLOW UP DOLL... THANKS, BUT... IT'S MALE! "TONY SLATTERY UNDERGARMENTS - YOU'LL FEEL LIKE YOU'RE WEARING NOTHING AT ALL. IN FACT, YOU WON'T!" A FUZZY DUCK SWEATER? BUT I'M 30 YRS OLD! LOL Emile! A FUZZY DUCK? BUT I'M 30 YRS OLD! WHY THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR "THE BIG BOOK-O-RANDOM QUOTES" HEY, THE 'HOME VASECTOMY KIT'! "THE BEST OF GEORGE WENDT ON WHOSE LINE"...WHAT THE, IT'S A BLANK TAPE! *G* WOW! THE DREW CAREY DOLL! WAIT! THIS HAS GOT TO BE A FAKE! IT SAYS HERE HIS POINTS *DO* MATTER! A CASKET? IS THIS SOME KIND OF HINT? *G* Good one, Em! Thanks! :) Oh my! COOL, WRAPPING PAPER! OH! LET ME RIP THIS!!.....*TEARING NOISE*....NOW I'LL UNWRAP MY GIFT! *g* LOL! YOU GOT ME A HOEDOWN CD!? OH, SURE GRANDMA, I'LL BE SURE TO USE MY "GAME OF CORN:PLAY IT AT HOME" GAME EVERYDAY! LOL! COOL! THE TELETUBBIES DO GANGSTA RAP! *ANY POKEMON PRODUCT* CLIVE ANDERSONS HAIR PIECE?! LOL Linz! CLIVE'S NEW AUTOBIOGRAPHY, "NECKLESS IN NEW HAMPSHIRE"! LOL! *g* A 'LOOK LIKE JOHN SESSIONS WIG' GEE THANKS... AND MIKE McSHANE'S AUTOBIOGRAPHY, "BLOOD SWEAT AND TEARS - WELL, SWEAT ANYWAY"! *g* :oP HI! BET YOU DIDN'T EXPECT *ME* TO POP OUT OF THAT BOX, HUH? YES! A GIFT CERTIFICATE TO "DEAD CATS" RESTAURANT! You can fill the rest of that one out! *g* Ew! YOU BOUGHT ME TONY'S SPLIT PANTS?...STRANGE... THE COMPLETE LYRICS TO ALL WHOSE LINE SONGS? COULDN'T YOU HAVE GIVEN ME THAT _LAST_ YEAR? WHAT IN THE WORLD IS THIS *TAKES A SLIP OF PAPER OUT OF BOX* "I'M WEARING A THONG" JOHN SESSIONS SPOKEN WORD-GREAT FOR INSOMIANCS...UH THANKU... OMG! A MEMBERSHIP TO THE "JOHN SESSIONS FAN CLUB" - "CONGRATULATIONS, YOU'RE OUR FIRST AND ONLY MEMBER OF OUR 25 YEAR ORGANIZATION!" LOL! IT'S JUST WHAT I ALWAYS WANTED! A VIBRATING RYAN AND GREG DOLL! WRAPPING PAPER.... UH.... THANKS. LOL, geez! *g* UH....SHOULDN'T YOU HAVE CUT AN AIRHOLE OR SOMETHING IN THIS BOX? A BOX OF TWIGLETS! WONDERFUL! I NEEDED SOME WOOD FOR THE FIRE! :) LOL! * Locknestr pushes Em and Joe forward and motions ("Ah shut it [They know] I love 'um" =) A PLAYSTATION? BUT MUM, I'M RUNNING OUT OF SOCKS AND UNDIES! YOU WON ME A TICKET TO SESSIONS UNPLUGGED?... Now if only someone would unplug John Sessions! KIDDING!! LOL U 3 :o) --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Game: World's Worst Players: Alan, Dean, Gregsgirl, Meskimen, Mochrie, MsBrady, Sweeney Scene: World's worst person to visit you in prison. SEE YOU IN 35 YEARS THEN! MY NAME IS JOE ISHAM, AND I WANTED TO GIVE YOU THE TRAFFIC REPORT... HERE'S THE FILE... MY MANICURIST NEEDS IT BACK BY TONIGHT. I GUESS YOU WON'T BE SEEING YOUR WIFE FOR A WHILE THEN, MIND IF I SEE HER? MAN! IT'S SUCH A NICE DAY OUT THERE!! HAVE YOU BEEN OUT THERE?! OH COME HERE LOVE, YOU'VE GOT BREAD CRUMBS ON YOUR MOUTH *SPITS ON HANKY* THERE'S A HOLE IN MY BUCKET, DEAR LIZA, DEAR LIZA... I'M YOUR BARRISTER, I'M CLIVE ANDERSON. LOL! LOL! THINK WE CAN DO IT THROUGH THESE BARS? I'M YOUR SOCIAL WORKER - I'M JOSIE LAWRENCE! LOVE, YOU JUST DON'T LOOK GOOD IN VERTICAL STRIPES. HI I'M FROM THE CELL NEXT DOOR. NEXT TIME I'LL COME THROUGH THE REAR ENTRANCE... IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN! HI THERE, MY NAME'S MOE. DON'T YOU THINK THAT PRISON GUARD IS CUTE, I'LL BET HE COULD COME IN HANDY! I'M PAUL MERTON, AND I'M HERE TO CHEER YOU UP DURING YOUR STAY... I BORROWED YOUR TOWEL AS I'VE RUN OUT OF TOILET PAPER. Awww... hehehe! THE GUARDS LOVE THIS...HELP! THE PRISONERS ARE ESCAPING!!!!! WATCH AS I SWALLOW THE KEY TO YOUR CELL! THE PRESTON POISONER HAS BEEN GIVEN A JOB IN THE KITCHEN I BROUGHT U A 'CAKE' JUST IN CASE THE GUARD DOESN'T COME THRU... WANT THE KEY? ... CAN'T HAVE IT! WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN'T AFFORD MY LAWYER'S FEE? YOU JUST ROBBED A BANK, DIDN'T YOU??? LOL! CAN I BORROW YOUR CAR WHILE YOU'RE IN HERE? HI,IS YOUR HUSBAND ALONE RIGHT NOW?... YOUR WIFE IS DOING DANDY - SHE'S ALSO DOING BOB, PHIL, DAVE AND CHARLIE.... LOL!!!!!! LOL! LOL Matt! Matthew :) Tch tch tch! I'm choking here! YOU CAN'T COMPLAIN ABOUT THAT - YOU ARE IN HERE FOR BUGGERY AFTER ALL!! That one will get censored! :) You could still complain.... OH SORRY, I MUST'VE SPILLED SOMETHING ON THERE, IT SAYS 84 NOT 34 YEARS. THE BAD NEWS IS YOU'RE NEVER GOING TO GET OUT AND YOU'LL ROT IN HELL HERE - BUT THE GOOD NEWS IS I'VE WON THE LOTTERY! "OH, IS THAT YOUR BOYFRIEND?" ... "NICE TO MEET YOU, I'M JOHN SESSIONS." YOU'RE LOOKING WELL - THAT PORRIDGE IS OBVIOUSLY FULL OF VITAMINS! THOTHE THTRIPTHES LOOK THIMPLY THCRUMPTIOUS ON YOU... Good chat-lisp! ARE YOU THE ONE THAT'S DOING 20 YEARS FOR RAPING MY DAUGHTER? I'M THE NEW PRISON WARDEN! Oooooh! Kiwi humour? :) I won't comment on that 1 Matt... SO YOU'RE GONNA BE IN HERE LIKE A LONG TIME RIGHT? CAN I STILL COLLECT THE REWARD MONEY FOR CATCHING YOU? I'M YOUR ATTORNEY AND.......GEORGE MICHAEL?!?!?!