--------------------------------------------------------------------------- WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY? WLIIA Chat Games ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- VARIOUS FUNNY IRC MOMENTS! (Part Three) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- SPECIAL PIE SUPPLEMENT ;-) Here are a selection of pie-related IRC moments that I hope you'll find amusing! Enjoy! ------------------------------------------------- One evening, Jeff was deliberately spilling some lines from a pie story, the rest of us ended up trying to fill in the details. But one particular line in this story caused yours truly to completely lose it. :-) Read on and find out why... Maybe it's time for a buffer spill! :) Go for it Jeff! :) Hehe, I dunno what's in it. You mean that porno you've been writing, jeff? :) Here I go... * Broth_Sam shields her eyes. Chip and Ernie are having a practical joke war. Ernie spots a couple of Uncle Charlie's fresh cream pies in the kitchen. Chip is outside in the driveway about to come in through the kitchen. Unbeknownst to Ernie... Finish the story, anyone? LOL! ...a ninja is about to jump through the window... ...uncle Charlie hid compression grenades in the pies! Um, no, that's not what happens next. :) Cool! Let's create another story! :) This one has already been created though. * jk is trying to find the continuation of that bit. No, I like mine better. :) Okay, here it is... Unbeknownst to Ernie, pretty Katie and Polly come home from shopping. As the kitchen door opens Ernie hides next to the door with a cream pie. Chip holds the door for the girls and... ...nocks the pie out of Ernie's hands, creating a mess on the floor. Knocks, even. ...escorts them inside. Chip comes around and plasters the girls with the pie...? ...puts it back in the doorframe after they enter the room. Errr. I meant Ernie... And then the concussion grenades that Uncle Charlie put in the pie explode. Um, no, that's not what happens next. :) Hold on... Chip holds the door for the girls and Katie (dressed up nicely and at her absolute prettiest) helplessly sees a pie wielding hand coming at her face. SPLURCH! She is plastered all over her gorgeous face. Shocked...she stands there and licks her lips and looks at Ernie with her mouth open. ...then whips out an Uzi and sprays the girls and Ernie with bullets... Um, you didn't watch much classic TV, did you Jason? :) :) I'm more likely to watch anime. Why do you ask, Jeff? :) Because you are WAY off on where this scene is going :) LOL!! Hey, I'm tired of seeing the standard ending. I want a surprise ending. :) What is this? The Three Stooges meet Sam Pekinpah? :) Hehe! If that indeed ever occured on My Three Sons, I'm afraid I missed that episode... :) My Three Sons: Armageddon So anyway, where were we? My three sons of Satan! :) LOL! ...grabs a water hose to rinse off Katie, because she's entering a wet T-shirt contest. Chip busts out laughing and Katie picks up the second pie and hurls it, prompting Chip to duck resulting in his cutie wife Polly getting a pie smack in the kisser, obliterating her facial features. LOL!! Obliterating her facial features? What, was there sulfuric acid in that pie?! :) Hey, *I* didn't write it :) LOL! * EmileJ doubles over in laughter! So that's what Uncle Charlie put in the pies! :) LOL! You GOT it!!! That's some good pie! Powerful flavour! Wow, that could give you a bad case of indigestion.... Mmmm...tangy! .... MY EYES ARE BURNING!!! :) LOL Emile! Yum, ow, yum, ow, yum, ow! * Hiedran notices that the girls aren't participating in the conversation much. Hmmm, if you say those words fast over and over, it sounds like "meow meow meow meow" Heavenly...My mouth is on fire! Delicious....I can't feel my nose! Mmm...... LOL Em! * EmileJ rereads the "obliterating her facial features" line and collapses again. * Hiedran snickers! LOL! Oooh, Snickers. Food. Me hungry. You Jane. :) Something tells me ol' Cutie Polly won't be much of a cutie after that pie! :-9 I believe he simply meant that you can't see her features beneath all the cream and crust... Yeah, but perhaps it should have been rephrased. :) Well, maybe she knows a really good plastic surgeon.... Maybe "hiding" or "covering". "Obliterating" is actually a common term in piefic. Hehe, this has been fun, but I have to go now. And remember, pies are fun... but treat them with the respect they deserve. Play safe! ------------------------------------------------- Of Pies And Nads....(by the way, Tabasco is Kerri, Taxco is Ang, Tesco is myself, and Texaco is Jeff.) Come visit me, Ang! Me! Me! I'm lonely here! I crave company! I will I will! I'll come see all of U! :o) And I have BETSY too! I'll provide the pies... Awww widdle Betsy Wetsy *baby talk mode off* I'm sure U will! LOL, saw some lovely custard pies the other day too :o9 Custard doesn't stick well. Teletubby custard? What about key lime? LOL! *g* Key lime. Mmmm! Depends on the kind. Pet-Ritz key lime is very good, especially fortified with Cool Whip. * Tabasco remembers someone here favors key lime.... :) * Tabasco prefers real whip cream.... Mmmm. Cool Whip Gotta get my dairy products! Cool Whip is superb, very sticky and messy and thick. Mmmm! :o9 I like both, LOL! * Tabasco doses her whip cream with almond flavoring instead of vanilla... :) * Tesco adores real cream a lot more than cool whip Why don'tcha just stick a jar of almonds in there?? ;o) A jar of almonds??? LOL, watch out for the jar tho, can be abit crunchy! :o) You know some warm pie will thaw that skull right out ;o) Remember the a la mode! LOL! * Tabasco loves apple pie a la mode! * Tesco hates apple pie a la mold! Apple pie is BAD! Why?? * Texaco has quit IRC (Read error to Texaco - No route to host) LOL, ok... Because it knocks you offline? My grnadma makes delish pie :o) My grandma makes good pie too! LOL! What relative is a grnadma? ;-) The one married to grnadpa! Lets hear it for Grnadparents!! Shut Up! LOL :oP Grnadma is a relative of the grenadama! ;o) Are those the ones that you grab their nads and they say Grrr? Kerri's got it! Better than my excuse anyway... :o) LOL! Jeffrey! What have I told you about grabbing your nads in public? * Taxco is laughing so much it hurts! LOL! I never understood the teen slang of 'rents for parents... I mean, they're not rentals, they're yours to keep.... LOL! And you can't trade them in for newer models! * Texaco has joined #WLIIA WB ApplePie! :o) Hi again yeffy! Is that Yiddish?? ;o) Nope, Scandahoovian.... As I was saying, apple pie BAD! Why tho?? He just doesn't like the factor of nonsmearability... Hey, Apple pie can be quite smeary, just not stick-y! You can break someone's nose with an apple pie! Too heavy! LOL! Oh, who wants to throw an apple pie? Not me... :) "Noctor...I god hid in da node wid an abble bie!" Can I just repeat something Tesco said? ;o) LOL! You mean the grabby line? * Tesco changes topic to ' Jeffrey! What have I told you about grabbing your nads in public?' "Jeffrey! What have I told you about grabbing your nads in public?" LMAO! I thought it was Jeff but it was Kerri. You thought what was me? You were the one who said the original grabbing nads...I thought Tabasco was Jeff. Yeah... but Jeff was gone! I know. OMG, I have tears of laughter, LOL! * Tesco changes topic to 'Grab your nads and dosey-do...' LOL! All the way to Mexico? HAHA! We all sound like we're on our way down there, ya know.... I hurt with laughter now! LOL, U 3 are so funny! THE WORLD IS FULL OF TROUBLE, THE WORLD IS FULL OF PAIN THE WORLD IS FULL OF PEOPLE WHO DON'T EVEN KNOW YOUR NAME BUT WHEN YOU'RE FEELING LONELY, THROUGH ALL THE GOODS AND BADS THE THING TO DO IS STAND UP PROUDLY, AND JUST GRAB YOUR NADS! ROTFL! * Tabasco goes to bedroom, reaches under blankets and grabs 'her' nads.... And wakes up John in the process... ;) They're the only ones in the whole house, what can I tell ya? "He's got the whole world in his nads...." LOL Kerri! *g* ------------------------------------------------- About a week later, the "pie obliteration" incident was brought up again! Apple pie is good! Apple pie BAD! As Jeff once said "You can break someone's nose with an apple pie!" Not joking Em, seriously you can! :( You could obliterate their face!! LOL! LOL! OMG I remember that! LOL! :) "Obliterate?! What, is there Sulfuric Acid in that pie?" Em, you had me rolling on the ground with your comments to that! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- While discussing Big Brother, I just *had* to make a Freudian slip.... Did anyone watch Birg Brother tonight? AKA Big Brother? NO!!! Big Brother Birg? Bird brother? Borg Brother? That show is awful! Big Bro Birg I'm hooked! Big Bird's Brother? Big Bird's Bog? "We've never had to do this...we're kicking you out of the collective." It is on the same time as DL. I didn't want to watch it, cause I knew I'd probably get hooked too :) I don't want to have another show I HAVE to see, LOL! * Duddy changes topic to 'MISS ME? :)' It's so smelly down here! So smelly down dere! Let me massage you wit de rats! LOL! I love that! LOL! I love Ryans Swedish accent! I like his Spanish. I love Survivor! * EmileJ can't stand those reality type shows like Survivor and Big Brothel. LOL! Um.......SPELLING!!! Brothel?? * EmileJ tries on his lovely new Freudian slip. LOL! LOL! LOL! Big Brothel? :) I might be convinced to watch the Brothel show! I might as well! I dunno if you want to do that Alan! Only if it's a BIIIIIG Brothel. LOL! LOL, I'll bet Ash! ;) Africa's a BIIIIIG Brothel... You'll be banished.... Banished, eh? :) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ever had a night where you couldn't even spell your own name right? I have. Just take a look... * K9 (K9@k9.chatnet.org) has joined #WLIIA * KerriOTPS (bluejay@cn-48583.rasserver.net) has joined #WLIIA wb K9! wb Puppola! LOL! If K9 is left out in the snow does that make him a Pupsicle? It's gonna be one of those nights again! Lisa: Aren't all our nights like this? :) * EJumean is now known as EmileK ARGH!!!!!!!!! Third time this week I've done that! * EmileK is now known as EmileJ Seems like more than usual lately LOL Em! *snort* *bort* Em can't remember his last name lately :p Is it my bloody fault the K is so dangerously close to the K! Emile is Kool? :) J even? Funny, on my kbd the K is completely opposite the K :) Darn them for putting all the letters close to each other! I've had days like that DAMN YOU QWERTY! The K *IS* dangerously close to the K... ;) * Su (UserID@cn-18887.dialup.mindspring.com) has joined #WLIIA Su Su! Su su? What the? I don't care about K being close to J... I just wish D wasn't next to F! *sigh* LOL Jeffus! ;o) LOL! Oh that poor trout. Did he send you his therapy bill yet? Why, writing about ducks? ;) Just when I think I have the smallest name in the biz.... ALONG COMES SU!!!! Ahhhh! I quit! :) * EmileJ is now known as E Not anymore, bub! :) * E is now known as EmikeJ Argh! That damned K!! * EmikeJ is now known as EmileJ Teehee! The same reason the i and u is so close together *sigh* no more over sized rubber dickys/duckys for me... :oP K is also next to L in case you didn't know LOL -- MuchMusic is playing that commercial for self breast exams, with the guy who offers to perform them for free. "Put your breasts in my hands. Operators are standing by" that's the funniest damn thing I've seen in ages. Someone shoot me pease! LOL! OMG Shar! LOL!! Hee hee! * Gregsgirl shoots peas at Em! Appease me! shoot your peas? okay That's a good commercial, yeah The modern keyboard was invented by Augustus P. Qwerty, whose fingers had been horribly mangled in an agricultural accident. Incredibly vain, he spelled out his name on the first row of letters to ensure immortality; the other letters fell in an order that would ensure Augustus could type them with his mangled fingers. Oh yeah, like I appease you. It goes to a shot of his 3 loser friends on the couch, looking horny, with 3 phones in front of them. LOL, this is an actual commercial?! It is Em! to increase breast cancer awareness and to encourage monthly self-examinations. LOL, that would have been interesting to see It's been playing on a bunch of stations for a few days now. Well, then, at least it's a good commercial. And there's bad 70s porn music playing in the background. you sure it's not just the match game theme? Why am I not surprised. I'm surprised he wasn't speaking in a Swedish accident. What the? ACCENT!! Swedish accident? What the heck am I on? *crash* Oh my, I have crashed my Volvo! LOL! Swedish accident? Does it involve meatballs? LOL! ROTFL!!! * EmileJ buries his face in his hands and sobs. I was in a car crash in Sweden And did you bring enough to share? * Susan looks to see what Emile is sitting on.. Emile you're on your end. * giveit2me is still laughing. * EmileJ changes topic to ' I'm surprised he wasn't speaking in a Swedish accident' *snicker* LOL! *g* Swedish accident: When the models fall through the cracks in the floors. * EmileJ is laughing so much his stomach is hurting and he's getting a headache! MAKE IT STOP! When meatballs attack! * EmileJ now has tears in his eyes * jen_gurl (Jewellry@cn-26446.66.123.206.on.wave.home.com) has joined #WLIIA Hi jen I got picked to go on a free trip to Israel!!!!!!! Mazel tov! I hope it's not one way! Take a gun! Are you sure Israel is a safe place to vist at the moment? "You've won a trip to beautiful downtown Hamilton!" ;) Visit even? Apparently the trip will be running as long as there is no war! Well then Jen, you can expect to fly over there in 2004! Forget the gun. take the meatballs! So it's a trick prize then And it's not until my reading week Uh oh.. that might be a long wait Hee hee Alan! LOL, take the meatballs *g* Whose meatballs, Ang? Are they peaceful meatballs? Swedish people never get in wars, Jen! I think you should start your own religion and start a war over a square foot of land on some random street corner. Ah, yes...bring whoser religion to israel... * EmileJ is still at a loss trying to explain how he wrote the word "accident" instead of "accent" LOL! It's not *that* far off....really ;o) Emile, I'm getting a little worried about you... You probably tried my Swedish meatballs, Em. Hehehe *g* * Niashinno offers her typo tiara to Em Were these 'funny' swedish meatballs? ;o) Only if you watch other people eat them Bouncey ones As long as u don't typo 'I'm going to fix my rubber ducky' I think you're pretty safe :o) Em in a tiara? Bouncy balls? * EmileJ gives the Tiara to Richard Vranch. He looked better in one. LOL! It was just an accent Emile! Just don't let Ronnie see it :o) * EmileJ tosses giveit2me into the Jell-O pool! *SPLASH!* *Wiggle, Wiggle!* * giveit2me smacks EmileJ with a large cream pie And now I'm too tired to type...gaaaaaarrrrrrr...*sigh* Hope I'll be awake tomorrow :) See you all then :) Oh, he had a narcolepsy call! Aww. Bye Alan! Peas out, x> Awww. Bye Aklan! Alan even! Nite 'toly Sleep well alan! Aklan, LOL! Aklan?! Buh-bye :) LOL, E! That damn k again! * EmileJ is now known as Typo-Dork LOL! Can i call your dork for short? * Typo-Dork gives Susan a lovely pie...*YANK!* *SHOVE!* *PAT! PAT! PAT!* * Gregsgirl calls the dork...oh he isn't here yet *splutter* *cough* Shouldn't that be typo-forj? LOL! Smartarse :-P Typo dork san Yes I am :) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- One evening in IRC, Laura (CarpetAG) and I somehow broke into an impromptu game of Film Trailer. :) You'll just have to imagine the dramatic music in the background. Just Laura with the three guys ;) :) * CarpetAG crosses her fingers against all the boycooties. :-) We won't bite! :) well, not unless you want us to :) * stelic gives em a shocked look *chuckle* Don't worry Laura, your 8 layers of petticoats will protect you :) * CarpetAG arranges her voluminous skirts and sits primly. * EmileJ changes topic to 'Welcome to Petticoat Junction! Starring Laura!' "Petticoat Junction"...where lace meets muslin against the forces of indecency ... *g* Muslin? Nah, I think we're all Christians here. * CarpetAG cues a rim shot. Ba doom boom ching! "See the helpless waif try to escape the clutches of the Evil villain, using the only thing she has, a pair of knitting needles and a hell of an uppercut." * jk is ROTFL at the thought of CarpetAG as a helpless waif :) "Knit one!" *poke* "Purl two!" *punch* "Take that, you brute!" ROFL!! "See the Evil Villain fight for his life by taking classes in defensive crocheting." "Hmm ... I'd heard of a right hook before, but I didn't think it would look like this!" "See the helpless waif win the affections of the noble Baron!" "An ... afghan? For me, Elizabeth?" "Well, dear sir, it started out as a mitten, but I never was very good at finishing these things off ..." "Let me kiss you!" "Starring Chaf Bagley as the noble Baron! Hear him quip..." I don't hear any quip :) "My darling, I want you to skein me alive if I should but hurt you." There. Happy? :-) Aaaah, THAT quip :) "Darn Yualtohel, as the Evil Villain! Hear him say..." "Damn! I need to stop wearing those rustling crinolines....Oops, did I say that? *blush*" "And introducing Fiona Grab-Bag as the Helpless Waif." "My mother always warned me about strange men and the yarns they spin." "It's Petticoat Junction! Where good meets evil against the forces of Indecency! No one will be seated during the last 2 crochets. Coming soon to a theatre near you!" "Damn! I dropped a stitch! *covers mouth with a gloved hand* Oops ..." *BUZZ!* That was fun :) Never did Film Trailer before. :) Hmm...perhaps this can be added to my IRC game archives! If you like. :-) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Another evening in IRC, after Jeff spilled some text from earlier that night, the gang broke into a spontaneous game of Sports Commentators... Let's check it out! * jedi_yam remembers stel's b-day party and a banana... oy, that was disturbing lol lol stels banana is a pretend man kit that finds water? Last I checked, it weren't pretend ... * jedi_yam yams jeff LOL, thanks for the replay, jeff :) lol, i bet it can't even find lake Michigan! :) What, the water? aahh, substitute, very well lol@laur! waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Michigan! Let's watch that in instant replay! Let's go to the video tape. Slow motion scroll on that text, Jeff? Sorry! Ang! Outta my skull, woman! ...What'd i do? Oh! I see it now...nm * jedi_yam plugs up the spill. * jedi_yam hands ang a yam. Too roomy in yours anyway ;o) *yams stel* LOL! LOL, what are we doing? Sports commentator? :) Yes! U can see yammy reaching for her choice of weapon...it's a... IT'S A...YAM! she's gonna do the old yam up the nose trick! * jedi_yam sticks a yam up stel's nose. This move won her the championship title last year against all her opponents at the Heffleneffler 2001. * stelic -- in slow motion -- shakes a can of whipped cream. * stelic pulls out amy's shirt collar. He's goin' for the can! * stelic presses the nozzle. * EmileJ watches in amusement. And it's a direct shot! how will she ever recover from this? I don't know. I dunno where you come from, but that...has got to smart! * stelic puts the can down on the table, in slow motion. * jedi_yam tackles stel --- in slow motion --- jumps, and lands on stel's chest. * stelic contorts, and makes a face that looks twisted in pain, with eyes crossed Oh and what's this! Yammy has tackled stel! Now what has she got up her sleeve? 2001 was the year of the yam people, our champ could do no wrong in the ring, and she's going for the yam you body slam! Oh i have never seen such agony from her opponent, have u ever, emu? I certainly have not. But I do recall an incident from the Fluffmeister Games of 1967! Oh that was a crazy time, emu! * jedi_yam pulls a carton of cottage cheese out of her sleeve. * stelic slowly shakes his head "no". * jedi_yam opens the carton, grinning It's the cottage cheese! oh no! this will cripple her opponent for sure! Oh...my...god! * stelic holds up his hands. Now, is that large curd or small curd? It looks like small curd to me. She's going to do it! There is no mercy shown here! She's showing whey no mercy! LOL! Oh the agony!! * jedi_yam drips cottage cheese down stel's shirt. * stelic makes a disgusted face. Ah, yes. This seems to be a departure from her usual technique ...she normally seems to go for the LARGE curd. This has a much more velvety texture, and ... Think of the laundry bills! Oooohhh! She has totally creamed her opponent ladies and gentlemen! *splort* * jedi_yam drips it stel's hair and rubs it in. Now what's stel going to make of that? He's dripping with small curd cottage cheese, he's crippled, what can he do? Will stel survive this top notch move from our champ? Only time will tell, my friendly. But his hair is getting an EXCELLENT moisture treatment. * stelic grabs a large spoon full of mashed potatoes. * stelic pulls the spoon back with one hand. * stelic aims for amy's face. Oh my lord! It's the mashed potato catapult move! * Anathema changes topic to ' she has totally creamed her opponent ladies and gentlemen! * jedi_yam drips it in stel's hair and rubs it in' * stelic releases, point-blank ... the mashed potatoes, people -- outta the gutter! I have not seen such carnage since the Groovemonkistan Champs in 1984! His signature! This could easily win the contest. If he aims it right! * Anathema changes topic to ' she has totally creamed her opponent ladies and gentlemen! * jedi_yam drips it in stel's hair and rubs it in * stelic releases...' LOL nattie! You have those last two out of order, Nattie. :P He's firing point blanks! And he lets the stuff fly! But where will it land? Will it hit his target and win the title?? Bingo! It landed right in Laura's face!! It seems we have stray potato in the ring people! Please don your safety gear! * jedi_yam holds up her hands in disgust as the potato hits her in the eyes! * stelic pulls his arm back in a celebratory "yes!" gesture. * jedi_yam claws at her face and cries. * CarpetAppGrl whips off her potato-splattered specs and glares fiercely. The ref must be blind ... I think that is a penalty! Right square in the eyes! And it's Stel's secret recipe mashed potatoes! Emu, you've seen stel perform this technique several times against different opponents and has it worked this well before? Indeed i have. Well, his aim is usually better, but I chalk this one down to .... other reasons. Which we won't go into here :) What about my safety gear? Who said anything about safety gear! :) Not that "tennis" elbow again ... Tennis elbow? Well, it was zero-love at the time ... ROTFL! That's right, there is zero love in this match tonight folks! Aaallllrighty then....let's see that, in instant replay! Let me get the telestrator... * stelic rewinds into a pose holding the spoon back. * jedi_yam holds her hands up again. * CarpetAppGrl stares at the replay monitor with trepidation. *draws line* Now funnily enough his arm was a little higher than usual. * stelic moves forward VERY slowly. Here u can see how he is using a slighty different move but it's still his trademark! * stelic pulls back the spoon, and his eyes widen and sparkle. * CarpetAppGrl is oblivious to what's about to happen. * jedi_yam eyes open in fear. * stelic's mouth opens with an exultant yet mute yell of ecstasy, and he releases the spoon. Now usually, at that particular angle, it would go off in a different direction, but...*draws squiggles* it dekes around for some unknown reason, and attains perfect trajectory!