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                           WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?
                               WLIIA Chat Games
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                               SCENES FROM A HAT
                                 (Part Three)
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Game:    Scenes From A Hat
Players: Anathema, Clivette, EmileJ, Gregg, Gregsgirl, jaclyn, jk, LisaWoob,
         stelic
Scenes:  Life's little mysteries, Things you'll never hear the president say,
         If Disney made porn, Things not to yell out in a public restroom,
         Pictures from Con we won't see, Mistakes on the menu, Least popular
         snack foods, Bad names for shoe insoles, When Turtles invade
         Toronto, George W. Bush's teen years, Signs that you are lost.

<Clivette>  OK....'LIFE'S LITTLE MYSTERIES'.

<Gregg>     HMMM...THE INGREDIENTS OF TWIGLETS!
<stelic>    HOW DID SO MUCH LINT GET IN SUCH A SMALL HOLE?
<LisaWoob>  STEL, WHAT'S YOUR NAME? :)
<Gregsgirl> MOM, WHY DOES MY BELLYBUTTON ALWAYS GET FLUFFY WITH LINT SO
            OFTEN?
<jk>        WHO LET THE DOGS OUT?

<Gregsgirl> LOL!
<EmileJ>    LOL!
<stelic>    LOL@Ang!

<LisaWoob>  WHERE HAVE ALL THE FLOWERS GONE?
<Gregsgirl> OKLAHOMA!
<EmileJ>    WHAT IS WITH THIS FASCINATION WITH BUFFALO?
<LisaWoob>  WHAT IS WITH THIS FASCINATION WITH CANADA?
<jk>        WHAT'S A WOOB?
<EmileJ>    WHAT DO CHICKENS THINK EVERYTHING ELSE TASTES LIKE?

<stelic>    Hahah!
<Gregsgirl> Hehehehehe!

<EmileJ>    DOES ANYONE EVEN *LIKE* TWIGLETS?

<Clivette>  Trish does, believe it or not Em! *g*

<jaclyn>    WOULD TORNADOES STILL STRIKE IF THERE WERE NO TRAILER PARKS?
<Gregsgirl> WHAT EXACTLY IS PUT IN YOUR POUTINE?
<stelic>    WHY ARE TWIGLETS THE ONLY THINGS THAT DON'T TASTE LIKE CHICKEN?

<Gregsgirl> LOL jac and stel!

<LisaWoob>  IF A MAN IS ALONE IN THE WOODS AND HE SPEAKS, IS HE STILL WRONG?

<Gregsgirl> Yes!

<stelic>    IF A MAN QUOTES A WOMAN, IS HE STILL WRONG?
<EmileJ>    IF A TREE FALLS IN THE WOODS AND NO ONE HEARS IT, WILL IT LAND
            ON A MOOSE?

<Gregsgirl> ....ask later, stel!
<Gregsgirl> LOL Em!

<jk>        IF HELEN KELLER WAS ALONE IN THE FOREST AND FELL DOWN, WOULD SHE
            MAKE A SOUND?

<Clivette>  *BUZZ!*....OK....'THINGS YOU'LL NEVER HEAR THE PRESIDENT SAY'.

<EmileJ>    "I HAD SEXUAL RELATIONS WITH THAT WOMAN!"
<stelic>    STOP -- I'M A MARRIED MAN!
<Gregsgirl> I DID HAVE SEXUAL RELATIONS WITH THAT TURTLE
<LisaWoob>  I ADMIT IT - I'M AN IDIOT!
<EmileJ>    "I'M PROUD TO BE PRESIDENT GEORGE W. BUSH!"
<stelic>    I CAN POINT OUT TEXAS ON A MAP OF THE UNITED STATES.
<Gregsgirl> MAH DADDY BUSH IS SO POWERFUL HE VOTED ME INTO THE WHITE HOUSE
<EmileJ>    I KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT CANADA!
<jk>        HELLO, I'M AL GORE.
<EmileJ>    "LET ME TALK TO THE AIDE IN MY PANTS!"

<stelic>    Ooo, hahah!
<Gregsgirl> LOL!

<stelic>    HELLO, I'M HILLARY CLINTON.
<Gregsgirl> MONICA I WANT YOU TO COME WORK FOR ME AGAIN
<EmileJ>    "NEXT TIME, I'LL BRING THE KNEE PADS"

<stelic>    You could have left out "work".
<Gregsgirl> *snicker*

* Gregsgirl pokes stella.

<stelic>    SOMETIMES A CIGAR IS JUST A CIGAR.
<Gregg>     NO, REALLY, I AM A CROOK!
<jk>        WE'RE REALLY GEARING UP FOR THE ERECTION... ELECTION! I MEAN
            ELECTION!!!

<stelic>    LOL@Gregg!
<Gregsgirl> LOL jeff!

<LisaWoob>  OUR COUNTRY IS SO INFERIOR, I THINK THEY SHOULD JUST COME DOWN
            AND TAKE OVER!

<Clivette>  *BUZZ!*......'IF DISNEY MADE PORN'.

<EmileJ>    POKE-A-HONTAS!
<LisaWoob>  WHEN I LIE MY **** GETS LONGER

<Gregsgirl> LOL Em!

<stelic>    A LAD IN A LAMB
<Gregsgirl> HAND?
<Gregg>     M-I-C...SEE WHAT I GOT!

<jk>        LOL Gregg!

<LisaWoob>  A-LAID-IN
<stelic>    K-E-Y ... K-Y!

<Gregsgirl> LOL!

<EmileJ>    UP NEXT, A CARTOON FEATURING FICKEY FOUSE AND FONALD F....

<Gregsgirl> Em!

<jk>        DISNEY HAS SIGNED EMILE JUMEAN TO A 20-YEAR CONTRACT... ;)

<Gregsgirl> LOL!
<LisaWoob>  LOL!

* EmileJ glares at Jeff.

<Clivette>  ROTFL!
<LisaWoob>  LOL!

<Gregsgirl> ROAD TO ELDOR-HARDO!
<stelic>    MINNIE GETS SLIPPED A MICKEY!
<jaclyn>    2 LADIES AND A TRAMP!

<stelic>    Haha!
<Clivette>  LOL Jac!

<LisaWoob>  DONALD DUCK - WHY HE'S PANTLESS.
<jaclyn>    SLEEPING WITH BEAUTY
<stelic>    SNOW YELLOW!

<Gregsgirl> Eeww!
<LisaWoob>  Eww!

<EmileJ>    SNOW WHITE HAD THE 7 DWARVES
<jk>        NOW YOU KNOW THE *REAL* REASON WALT HAD HIMSELF CRYOGENICALLY
            FROZEN!

<Gregsgirl> LOL Jeff!

<EmileJ>    HI, HO! HI, HO!
<stelic>    HEY WALT, IS IT COLD OR SOMETHING?
<LisaWoob>  CINDERELLA LOST MORE THAN JUST HER SLIPPER THAT NIGHT...
<jk>        THE ARISTOPUSSIES!

<Gregsgirl> LOL Woob!
<stelic>    LOL!
<Gregsgirl> *snicker*
<EmileJ>    *head on desk, in tears of laughter*

<EmileJ>    WINNEY THE POO...
<stelic>    HERBIE, THE *REAL* LOVE BUG!
<LisaWoob>  DUMBO - HIS EARS AREN'T THE ONLY THING ON HIM THAT ARE EXTRA
            LARGE!
<stelic>    HAVE YOU EVER SEEN AN ELEPHANT'S FLY?

<Gregsgirl> LOL woob! Stel! LOL!

<Clivette>  *BUZZ!*.....'THINGS NOT TO YELL OUT IN A PUBIC RESTROOM'....

<jk>        PUBIC restroom? LOL!!!
<Clivette>  OMG!......crap.....*PUBLIC*!!!!
<EmileJ>    LOL!!
<LisaWoob>  ROFLMAO!

<stelic>    OH YEAH, THAT'S A *BIG* ONE!
<Gregsgirl> I CAN SEE YOUR PEEPEE!
<EmileJ>    CAN YOU HELP ME WITH MY ZIPPER?
<LisaWoob>  WOOHOO, THAT WAS ONE NICE CRAP I MADE!

<Gregsgirl> Ew, LOL!
<EmileJ>    Ewwww!!!

<stelic>    HOLD THIS FOR A MINUTE, WOULD YA?
<jk>        OH, SORRY, I THOUGHT THE SIGN SAID *PUBIC* RESTROOM! 
<Gregsgirl> IS THAT A BANANA IN YOUR POKET OR DID U JUST REALLY NEED TO GO?

<Clivette>  Argh!! *hides her face and laughs*

<LisaWoob>  IT'S GEORGE MICHAEL!

<Gregsgirl> LOL!

<EmileJ>    WHO LET ONE GO?!!
<stelic>    HEY, THIS THING WON'T TAKE MY QUARTER!
<Gregsgirl> AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH....AAAHH....AAHHHHHH, THERE WE GO!
<EmileJ>    MMM, THIS EXTRA LARGE MINT IS TASTY!!!
<stelic>    HEY BUDDY, CAN YOU PASS SOME OVER HERE?
<Gregsgirl> WHO DOES NUMBER TWO WORK FOR??!!
<jk>        OH MY GOD, IT'S SHAPED LIKE THE HEAD OF RICHARD NIXON!!!
<stelic>    WHY WON'T THIS GO DOWN?

<Clivette>  *BUZZ!*.....'PICTURES FROM CON WE *WON'T* SEE'.....

<EmileJ>    SHOW ME YOUR TONGUE AGAIN ROB!
<Gregsgirl> HEY! I'M TRYING TO PEE IN PRIVATE HERE! GO POINT THAT CAMERA
            SOMEWHERE ELSE!
<jk>        IT'S SHAR GIVING MOLLY A BIG HUG!
<LisaWoob>  EMILE'S PORN VIDEO - PART TWO!
<stelic>    "... AND THIS IS A WOOB!"

<Clivette>  That was parts we won't see Lisawoman, give it time! ;)
<Clivette>  Or pics. *g*

<Gregsgirl> OOOOO VERONICA!! MORE!!!
<jk>        WHAT??? ROB WITH HAIR???

<Clivette>  LOL!
<Gregsgirl> *snicker*

<LisaWoob>  JEFF LOOKS LIKE A STYLIN 21ST CENTURY MAN!
<stelic>    THE FULL MONTY
<jk>        AND THIS IS WHERE I CAUGHT JULES WHEN SHE HAD NOTHING TO SAY...

<EmileJ>    LOL!
<Gregsgirl> Heehee!

<stelic>    ADVENTIST PUPPET GALLERY.
<EmileJ>    THIS IS US WATCHING THE PUPPET SHOW!

<Gregsgirl> LOL!
<Clivette>  Ahhhh, scary thought Em! :)

<jk>        THIS IS JOE TRYING TO READ THE MAP...

<Clivette>  LOL! *BUZZ!*....'MISTAKES ON THE MENU'.......

<Gregsgirl> AH YES, I'LL HAVE THE...POO POO PLATTER?... UMM CHEQUE PLEASE!
<EmileJ>    I'LL HAVE THE FRIED CRAP.

<LisaWoob>  LOL!

<stelic>    LARGE COK     $1.50

<jk>        LOL Stel!!!
<Gregsgirl> LOL Stel!

<Gregg>     HOT ROASTED TWIGLETS!
<EmileJ>    COCO-NUTS PIE
<Gregsgirl> HOT HOME MADE APPLE PEE 

<jk>        LOL!
<stelic>    Hehe!

<EmileJ>    I'LL HAVE THE MUSHROOM AND PEPPERONI PISSA
<jk>        I'LL HAVE THE ROAST *UCK...

<Gregsgirl> Hehehe!
<EmileJ>    LOL!!!
<Gregsgirl> LOL!

<EmileJ>    I'LL HAVE THE TUBBY CUSTARD.....
<stelic>    SEAFOOD PLATTER, WITH REAL CRAP MEAT

<EmileJ>    LOL!!!!!!
<Gregsgirl> *snicker*

<jk>        WELCOME TO TACO HELL
<Gregsgirl> I'LL HAVE THE CREAM OF SOME YOUNG GUY....ARE YOU SURE THAT'S
            REAL CHINESE FOOD?

<Clivette>  Ewwwwww!

<EmileJ>    I'LL HAVE THE EGG FU THONG!
<stelic>    POO POO GAI PAN

<Gregsgirl> LOL!

<Clivette>  *BUZZ!*....'LEAST POPULAR SNACK FOODS'.

<jk>        FIRST PERSON WHO SAYS "TWIGLETS" GETS BUZZED OUT...
<EmileJ>    I'LL HAVE THE TWIGLETS!

* jk buzzes Emile out :)

<stelic>    HMM ... PORK TWINKIES!
<LisaWoob>  HAVE YOU TRIED THE PORK?
<stelic>    BUFFALO CHIPS
<jk>        MMMM... CREAM OF CLINTON!

<Gregsgirl> Ew!

<EmileJ>    THANKS FOR THE COW PIE, JEFF!
<stelic>    ESKIMO COW PIE
<jk>        CAN I HAVE SOME SHEEP DIP WITH MY BUFFALO CHIPS?
<Gregsgirl> MMMM MUD PIE FOR DESSERT *CHOMP* HEY! THIS IS REAL MUD!
            *SIPTOOIE*
<stelic>    I SCREAM SANDWICH!
<Gregg>     MMM, SOYLENT GREEN!

<Clivette>  *BUZZ!*.....'BAD NAMES FOR SHOE INSOLES'.

<EmileJ>    N'STEP.

<LisaWoob>  Who the heck came up with that topic?
<EmileJ>    It sure as hell wsan't me!

<EmileJ>    MILK DUDS! ;-)
<jk>        SOCK IT TO ME!
<stelic>    DR. SCHOLLS' SWISS CHEESE INSERTS

<Clivette>  *BUZZ!*...'WHEN TURTLES INVADE TORONTO'....And we ALL know who
            said that one!*g*
<Gregsgirl> LOL!

<EmileJ>    WHERE'S THIS CN TURTLE I'VE HEARD SO MUCH ABOUT?
<LisaWoob>  SORRY, EVERY FLIGHT OUT IS BOOKED...
<stelic>    WHY ARE THE SHEEP SO NERVOUS TODAY?
<Gregsgirl> JENNA! STOP PEEING OFF THE CN TOWER! YOU'LL NEVER HIT ANYONE!
<jk>        YOU'LL HAVE TO GO TO ESSO, THERE'S NO SHELL STATION HERE!
<Gregg>     WHEN'S WHOSERCON 98 GONNA BEGIN?
<EmileJ>    WOO! A TIT TASSLE STORE!!

<jk>        LOL Gregg
<Clivette>  *groan* Jeff! *g*

<Gregsgirl> WHY IS STEL SO NERVOUS? ARE THE TURTLES MAKING A USA STOPOVER?
<LisaWoob>  MY SISTERS!!!!!
<jk>        WHEN ARE WE GONNA SING "HAPPY TOGETHER"?

<EmileJ>    LOL Jeff!
<Clivette>  LOL!!

<Gregsgirl> I HOPE THEY HAVE LOTS OF TEXAS D IN CANADIA
<stelic>    WHY IS NO ONE VOLUNTEERING TO DO PORNO F&TS WITH US?

<Gregsgirl> LOL jeffus!

<EmileJ>    MMMMM, MMMM, I LOVE "TURTLES"!
<stelic>    WHY IS EVERYONE VOLUNTEERING TO WATCH US DO PORNO F&TS?

<LisaWoob>  LOL!
<Gregsgirl> Haha stel! :o)

<Gregg>     WHY DO THOSE GUYS IN ICE SKATES WANT TO SLAP US AROUND SO MUCH?

<Clivette>  *BUZZ!*.....'GEORGE W. BUSH'S TEEN YEARS'.....

<Anathema>  Aiiiiiiiie!!

<LisaWoob>  HE DOESN'T KNOW.  HE WAS IN A DRUNKEN HAZE...
<jk>        DAD, CAN I BORROW THE HELICOPTER?
<Gregsgirl> IF YOU VOTE FOR ME AS THE STUDENT REP I'LL ASK THE BOARD OF
            TRSUTESS THE MOST IMPORTANT QUESTION, IS THE STUDENTS LEARNING?
<LisaWoob>  HEY DAD, I WANT PEOPLE TO THINK I'M SMART, WILL YOU GET ME INTO
            YALE?

<jk>        LOL Ang!!!

<EmileJ>    AWW, WHATSA YOOS UV LERNING ANGLISH, I AIN'T NEVA GONN USE IT!

<Gregsgirl> LOL! Ang-lish is totally different! ;o)

<EmileJ>    DAD, WHAT'S A BUSH?
<jk>        DAD, CAN I BORROW THE CAR TO USE UP LOTS OF OIL AND SUPPORT THE
            BARONS?
<EmileJ>    MOM, WHAT'S FOR DINNER? YES! MACORARONI AND CHEESE!

<Anathema>  (Kraft Dinner!) (Which I nearly mistyped as Kraft Sinner)
<EmileJ>    LOL!

<Gregg>     WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL ABOUT CUTTING CLASS?  IT'S NOT LIKE I'LL EVER
            BE PRESIDENT OR ANYTHING!
<LisaWoob>  SOME DAY AH'M GONNA BE PRES*HIC*IDENT!

<Clivette>  *BUZZ!*...*AND THE LAST ONE GANG*.....'SIGNS THAT YOU ARE LOST'.

<jk>        JOE CAN'T HELP YOU!
<EmileJ>    WELCOME TO IQALUIT!

<Clivette>  LOL!

<Gregg>     "YOU ARE HERE" ==> MIDDLE OF NOWHERE
<Gregsgirl> THE MAP SAYS I'M IN TE KAUWHATA...WHAT THE??....
<stelic>    SARNIA, 5 MILES?!? WHAT THE F*!
<LisaWoob>  WHERE THE HECK IS SARNIA?

<LisaWoob>  We think alike stel ;)
<stelic>    Hehe!

<jaclyn>    DANGER WILL ROBINSON!
<EmileJ>    I THINK I TOOK A WRONG TURN AT DILDO, NEWFOUNDLAND...NOT THAT
            IT'S A BAD THING ;-)
<Anathema>  OH SHIT I'VE ENDED UP IN NOTTINGHAM!

<Gregsgirl> Hehehehe
<Anathema>  Sorry i had to!

<stelic>    WHAT'S THIS BRACELET SAY? "IF FOUND, PLEASE RETURN TO ..."
<Gregg>     WHY DO I KEEP HEARING THE THEME TO "GILLIGAN'S ISLAND"?
<LisaWoob>  WHAT IS WLIIA? AND WHAT IS A WOOB?  I'M SOOO CONFUSED!
<Gregsgirl> WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT COMPASS?...NOOO...DON'T STICK IT UP
            MY BARTLETT! NOOOOO!
<stelic>    NONE OF THE ROCKS ON THIS MOUNTAIN HAVE MOSS!
<EmileJ>    AM I STILL ON THE I-86? I'LL KILL THAT EV! ;-)
<jaclyn>    WAIT, IS THE SUN SUPPOSED TO BE SETTING IN THE NORTH?
<jk>        DO CANADIANS WEAR SOMBEROS? I THINK I MADE A WRONG TURN....

<Gregsgirl> LOL Em!
<Gregsgirl> *snicker*

<EmileJ>    WELCOME TO "HELL"...AH, AT LEAST I KNOW WHERE I AM NOW.
<stelic>    THERE'S A BEAUTIFUL EARTH OUT TONIGHT ...
<jk>        JIMMY HOFFA! FANCY MEETING YOU HERE!

<Gregsgirl> We have Hell in NZ, it's called Invercargill!

<EmileJ>    WELCOME TO CORK. NOW SHOVE IT UP YOUR....
<stelic>    IT'S LORD LUCAN!
<Gregsgirl> WHERE AM I GOING? AND WHY AM I IN A HANDBASKET?....
<EmileJ>    I DON'T THINK I'M IN ONTARIO ANYMORE!

<Clivette>  LOL...........*BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ*!

<jk>        Good game all!
<Anathema>  LOLOLOLOLOL!
<Gregsgirl> Yay!
<EmileJ>    Amused nattie? :)
<Anathema>  That was too frickin funny
<Gregsgirl> LOL!
<EmileJ>    Yay, we survived!

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Game:    Scenes From A Hat (brief snippet)
Players: Armadillo, EmileJ, JeClive, jk, Jules, NAVYscoot, TheCat         
Scenes:  Bad ideas for a Broadway musical, Bad zoo exhibits

<JeClive>   Ok...ready? 
<Armadillo> Define..."ready". ;)
<EmileJ>    Yep. Letterrip Clive! :)
<Jules>     Ready!
<JeClive>   *rip*
<Jules>     *hands Clive a needle and thread to patch that up*
<JeClive>   ta jules! :)

<JeClive>   "BAD IDEAS FOR A BROADWAY MUSICAL...."

<Jules>     THE MUSIC-LESS MAN
<NAVYscoot> CLIVE'S HAIR SHOW!
<Armadillo> OKLA-HOMIE-G-DAWG
<jk>        FOR THE FIRST TIME... REAL CATS STAR IN "CATS"!
<TheCat>    OH, KANDAHAR!

<Jules>     LOL, Cat!

<Jules>     TAKE OUT DA NOISE, TAKE OUT DA FUNK...
<EmileJ>    THE NEW HIT BROADWAY MUSICAL FROM ANDREW LLOYD-WEBER AND TIM
            RICE, ABOUT AN ARGENTINIAN FAMILY FORCED TO MOVE OUT OF THEIR
            SMALL APARTMENT DWELLING - EVICTA!
<EmileJ>    THE GUMBO THEATRE PROUDLY PRESENTS - OKRAHOMA!

<Armadillo> *laugh!* @ Emmy
<NAVYscoot> ROFLMAO @ Em

<Jules>     THE LION QUEEN
<jk>        MARCEL MARCEAU, IN THE CHARLIE CHAPLIN STORY
<TheCat>    VIAGRA FALLS
<EmileJ>    THE JAPANESE NATIONAL THEATRE PRODUCTION COMPANY PRESENTS -
            OKRAHOMA!
<NAVYscoot> BECKERS: THE MUSICAL!

<JeClive>   Argh! *g*

<Jules>     LETTUCE AND CARROTS STARRING IN, "THE PRODUCE-RS"
<Armadillo> DOLLS AND DOLLS! *cough*
<jk>        ANNIE GET YOUR GUN, STARRING... ROBERT BLAKE

<NAVYscoot> *groan*
<Jules>     Oy!

<JeClive>   OK......"BAD ZOO EXHIBITS"!

<NAVYscoot> THE BETTY FORD CLINIC PRESENTS....ROBERT DOWNEY JR...I'M CURED!

<Armadillo> LOL...that works for both!

<EmileJ>    WELCOME TO OUR MONKEY EXHIBIT, THERE'S BRAD SHERWOOD ON YOUR
            LEFT, AND DAVY JONES AND PETER TORK ON YOUR RIGHT.
<TheCat>    FECES OF THE SERENGETI!
<NAVYscoot> WELCOME TO THE HAIR EXPO...WITH YOUR HOST CLIVE.
<jk>        FEED THE SHARK!
<Jules>     HMMM, "DEAD ANIMALS OF THE WILD"... UM, IDFHTS
<jk>        "WHAT ANIMAL IS THAT?" "THAT'S A *SPRINKLER*, ROBBY!" 
<Jules>     "GO UP TO THE LIONS AND MOCK THEM ... THEY LOVE IT"

<jk>        The above is from an actual zoo trip with my best friend.
<Jules>     That must have been some sprinkler, Jeff!
<EmileJ>    You mean a real *sprinkler*? :)

<Armadillo> *READS A SIGN* PENGUINS...NORTH. TAXIDERMISTS...SOUTH. *PONDERS*
<TheCat>    NOW THIS IS OUR PRIDE AND JOY...OUR EBOLA TESTING LAB!
<Jules>     DINOSAURS?  WAIT ... THAT'S COLIN!

<TheCat>    Colintopia :)

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