--------------------------------------------------------------------------- WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY? WLIIA Chat Games ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- QUESTIONS ONLY (Part One) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Game: Questions Only Players: Izzard, Stiles Scene: First day of school READY FOR SCHOOL? ARE YOU? DON'T I LOOK IT? WHAT IS THAT YOU'RE WEARING? DO YOU LIKE MY LEOTARD? IS THAT LEOPARD PRINT? DOESN'T IT LOOK LIKE IT? WHAT DID YOU BRING FOR LUNCH? IS THERE LUNCH TODAY? DON'T YOU NEED TO EAT? CAN'T U SEE TELL I'M ON A DIET? WHY WOULD YOU BE ON A DIET? DO I LOOK FAT? SO YOU THINK IT'S SAFE TO ANSWER THAT QUESTION? WHY ARE YOU BOTHERING ME? DON'T YOU DESERVE IT? :) CAN I PICK ON YOU NOW? DON'T YOU REALIZE IT'S TIME FOR CLASS? ARE YOU READY FOR PHYS-ED? AM I TAKING PHSY-ED? ISN'T THAT YOUR LEOTARD? AREN'T YOU THE ONE WEARING THE LEOTARD? DON'T YOU HAVE ONE IN YOUR BACKPACK? DIDN'T YOU NOTICE THAT I LEFT MY BACKPACK AT HOME? WHY WOULD U LEAVE YOUR BACKPACK AT HOME? DON'T YOU KNOW I HAVE A BAD MEMORY? WHAT DID I JUST SAY A FEW MINUTES AGO? WASN'T IT SOMETHING ABOUT, UM, UM, YOU BEING FAT? DON'T U REMEMBER? REMEMBER WHAT? DO I LOOK LIKE I KNOW? DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING? ISN'T THAT WHY WE'RE AT SCHOOL TODAY? DO YOU THINK YOUARE CAPABLE OF LEARNING ANYTHING? MUST YOU INSULT ME? AREN'T YOU EASY TO PICK ON? WHY WOULD YOU SAY A THING LIKE THAT? ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Game: Questions Only Players: Colin, PeterCook, She-Ryan, Stiles Scene: Renting a car at LAX (Los Angeles Airport) MAY I HELP YOU? WHAT KIND OF CARS DO YOU HAVE? WHAT MODEL WOULD YOU LIKE? YOU RENT MODELS TOO? WOULD YOU LIKE A BLONDE OR A BRUNETTE? WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE? HAVEN'T YOU EVER HEARD OF PEROXIDE? ARE THE BLONDES FAKE? ARE BLONDES EVER REAL? DOES IT MATTER REALLY? AREN'T ALL MEN JUST HORNY AND DON'T CARE ABOUT THE QUALITY OF THEIR MODEL'S HAIR? BZZZZZZZZZZZ (There's no way I can continue this without getting arrested!) BUUZZZZ. Colin out, Donna in. WHY CAN'T YOU JUST GIVE ME A CAR? ARE YOU THE MODEL WE'RE RENTING OUT? DO I LOOK TALL (OR THIN) ENOUGH TO BE A MODEL? AREN'T YOU THE PICTURE OF BEAUTY? SHOULD I SAY DON'T HATE ME BECAUSE I AM BEAUTIFUL? SHOULD I HATE YOU BECAUSE YOU'RE STANDING ON MY FOOT? IS THAT WHY YOU ARE YELLING? AREN'T I IN A LOT OF PAIN? SHOULD I CALL AN AMBULANCE? HAS MY FOOT FALLEN OFF? BUUUZZZZZ. Ash out, just because Dean needs a turn, And Ash is taking too much time on other conversations. IS THAT IT OVER THERE UNDER THE COUNTER? HOW LONG DO YOU WANT THE CAR FOR? CAN I INTERST YOU IN BUYING A CAR THEN? HOW MUCH WILL THAT COST? HOW MUCH HAVE YOU GOT? SHOULD I REPORT YOU TO THE BETTER BUSINESS BUREAU? DIDNT YOU COME HERE LAST WEEK, RENT A CAR, AND NEVER RETURN IT? WHY DO YOU THINK THAT WAS ME? ARENT YOU DONNA, THE CAR THIEF WHO POSES AS A LAW LIBRARIAN? DON'T YOU KNOW THAT ALL LIBRARIANS ARE NOTORIOUS CRIMINALS? ARENT YOU TALKING A BIT LOUDLY? DIDN'T YOU KNOW THAT I AM THE LOUDEST LIBRARIAN ON THE FACE OF THE PLANET? SO WHERE'S THAT CAR YOU RENTED THEN? WHAT CAR? ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Game: Questions Only Players: Colin, She-Ryan, Stiles Scene: In a hospital waiting room DO YOU THINK THE DR CAN HELP YOU WITH THE IMPOTENCE? DO YOU REALLY THINK THAT'S A PROBLEM? ISN'T NOT HAVING SEX IN SIX YEARS A PROBLEM? HAS IT BEEN SIX YEARS? DON'T YOU KNOW HOW TO COUNT? WHY WOULD I KEEP TRACK OF SOMETHING LIKE THAT? DON'T YOU CARE ABOUT SATISFYING ME SEXUALLY? DO YOU EVEN HAVE TO ASK? DON'T YOU KNOW THAT I MIGHT START HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH THAT GORGEOUS MILKMAN WHO TENDS TO COME AND "DELIVER HIS MILK" THREE TIMES A DAY WHILE YOUR AT WORK? WHAT KIND OF WANTON TROLLOP ARE YOU? DON'T YOU KNOW THAT I KNOW THAT YOU ARE HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH THE MILKMAN'S BROTHER PEPPE? HOW DID YOU FIND OUT ABOUT THAT? DON'T YOU KNOW THAT HE IS PREGNANT WITH YOUR BABY AND HERE TO DELIVER RIGHT NOW? (got in the baby:)) HOW THE HELL DID PEPPE GET PREGNANT?!?!? BUUUZZZZ * CliveMode buzzzzes out Rob to save his blushes and because she wants to see Ashley and Donna work this out. DID YOU SEE THE PHOTOGRAPHERS HERE ABOUT THE FIRST PRGNANT MALE? SOMEONE TOOK PICTURES? DIDN'T YOU BRING A CAMERA? DON'T YOU SEE THIS VIDEO CAMERA ON MY SHOULDER? ISN'T THAT A HUMP? DON'T YOU THINK IT'S RUDE TO COMMENT ON SOMEONE'S PHYSICAL APPEARANCE? WON'T IT MAKE UP FOR THAT IF I SAY THAT YOU ARE THE MOST ATTRACTIVE HUNCHBACK I'VE EVER SEEN? BUUUZZZZ * Clivemode buzzes out Ashley because that question is too circuitous. Jump in again, Rob. HAS PEPPE GIVEN BIRTH YET? DID YOU ASK THE NURSE? DO YOU THINK I SHOULD? HOW ELSE WILL YOU FIND OUT? WHERE DID THAT TROLLOP GO? DO YOU THINK SHE WENT TO VISIT THE MILKMAN? DO YOU THINK I SHOULD TELL HER I'VE BEEN SLEEPING WITH HER SISTER FOR THE PAST SIX YEARS? HAVEN'T YOU BEEN SLEEPING WITH *BOTH* HER SISTERS? WHO TOLD YOU ABOUT THAT? DIDN'T YOU KNOW SHE HIRED A DETECTIVE TO FOLLOW YOU, YOU UNFAITHFUL BASTARD? WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE IF SHE DID? DID YOU KNOW SHE JUST LEFT TO BUY A GUN? BUUUZZZZ * CliveMode buzzes out Donna to let Ashley have the last word. DO YOU KNOW THAT YOU ARE AN UNCARING BASTARD AND THAT I HAVE BEEN SLEEPING WITH YOUR UNCLES, BROTHERS, FATHERS, NEPHEWS, ETC, AND THAT YOU COULD NEVER SATISFY ME EVER BECAUSE YOU'RE IMPOTENT AND THAT MY SISTER'S WERE ONLY USING YOU BECAUSE THEIR DOCTORS SAID THAT LAUGHTER WAS THE BEST MEDICINE AND THEY HAD THE FLU? * CliveMode declares Ashley the winner and gives her 50,000,000 points. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Game: Questions Only Players: ColinM, Mochrie Scene: At the drugstore MAY I HELP YOU? DO YOU HAVE MY PRESCRIPTION? DO YOU NEED IT NOW? CAN'T YOU SEE THIS RASH IS DRIVING ME CRAZY? CAN YOU WAIT WHILE I GET YOUR MEDICINE? DO I HAVE A CHOICE? WOULD IT UPSET YOU IF WE LOST YOUR PRESCRIPTION? ARE YOU SAYING YOU LOST MY PRESCRIPTION? WHAT ARE YOU IMPLYING? SHOULD I GO BACK TO MY DOCTOR AND GET ANOTHER PRESCRIPTION? WOULDN'T THAT BE THE BEST COURSE OF ACTION? HOW LATE ARE YOU OPEN? IS MIDNIGHT TOO LATE? CAN YOU WAIT UNTIL I GET BACK? WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO? DID YOU MISS ME WHILE I WAS AWAY GETTING ANOTHER PRESCRIPTION? DID YOUR DOCTOR GIVE YOU THE SAME PRESCRIPTION? IS THAT BAD? HOW ARE YOU GOING TO PAY? DO YOU ACCEPT VISA? WHAT IS THE CARD NUMBER? CAN YOU HANG ON A MOMENT WHILE I LOOK IT UP? DO I HAVE A CHOICE? DOES 90674536823 SOUND LIKE THE RIGHT NUMBER? IS THAT A VISA NUMBER? ISN'T THAT WHAT IT SAYS ON MY CARD? SHOULDN'T THERE BE 14 DIGITS? DO YOU WORK FOR THE CREDIT BUREAU? ARE YOU TRYING TO RIP ME OFF? DON'T YOU TRUST ME? DOES TRUST REALLY HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH THIS? DOESN'T THE FACT THAT I'VE BEEN COMING HERE FOR THE LAST 25 YEARS COUNT FOR ANYTHING? ARE YOU A REGULAR CUSTOMER? WOULDN'T YOU CALL 25 YEARS REGULAR? WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE THE PRESCRIPTION FOR FREE? WOULD THAT BE ALL RIGHT? WHY NOT? ARE YOU THE MOST GENEROUS PHARMACIST AROUND OR WHAT? DOES PETER COOK? ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Game: Questions Only Players: Gregario, Kristin, LoriV, Mochrie Scene: At the barbers DO YOU WANT A LITTLE OFF THE BACK? CAN I SEE A PHOTO FIRST? DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE LASTEST STYLES ARE? AREN'T TAILS STILL IN STYLE? CAN I JUST SHAVE YOUR HEAD? WHY WOULD I WANT YOU TO DO THAT? ISN'T SHORT HAIR MORE MANAGEABLE? ARE YOU A STUDENT BARBER? DO YOU NEED A PROFESSIONAL? DO I LOOK LIKE I HAVE MY HAIR CUT MY AMATEUERS? BZZZZZZ! HOW MUCH IS THIS HAIRCUT GONNA COST ME? DOES $20 SOUND FAIR ENOUGH? COULD YOU GIVE ME A DISCOUNT? HAVEN...sorry...premature! ARE YOU A CHEAP BASTARD? BZZZZZZ! WHY DO YOU WANT A DISCOUNT? DON'T YOU KNOW THAT I'M YOUR BEST CUSTOMER? HAVE YOU BEEN HERE BEFORE? CAN'T YOU REMEMBER ME COMING HERE YEARS AGO, WHEN I WAS BUT A BOY? Almost poetic like... SHOULD I? WEREN'T YOU MY FATHER'S BARBER TOO? DO I LOOK THAT OLD? AREN'T YOU IN THE GOLDEN YEARS OF YOUR LIFE? ARE YOU EVER GOING TO PAY ME? WHERE DO YOU GET THOSE COOL BARBER CHAIRS THAT GO UP AND DOWN? WOULD YOU LIKE ONE? HOW MUCH ARE THEY? DO YOU HAVE A COUPON? IS THE PRICE NEGOTIABLE? DOES $1500 SOUND FAIR? DO YOU TAKE ANY OF THE MAJOR CREDIT CARDS? DID YOU SEE THE CASH ONLY SIGN? DO YOU THINK I NEED GLASSES? DO YOU HAVE POOR EYESIGHT? BZZZZZ! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Game: Questions Only Players: LoriV, McShane, Rush2112 Scene: Golf lessons WHAT DO I DO WITH THIS PUTTER? IS THIS YOUR FIRST LESSON? DO I LOOK LIKE I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING? COULD SOMEONE HELP ME? CAN YOU PLEASE HOLD A MINUTE SIR? WHERE IS MY CADDY? DO I LOOK LIKE A SIR? WHY SHOULD I KNOW? WHO ARE YOU? CAN WE GET BACK TO THE GAME? HAVE I TAUGHT YOU HOW TO DRIVE? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? IN MY CAR? WHERE WERE WE? WHERE SHOULD I START? CAN YOU PLEASE PAY ATTENTION? WHY DON'T YOU START WITH DRIVING? WHAT'S THAT OVER THERE? CAN'T YOU TEACH? DOES THAT LOOK LIKE GODZILLA TO YOU? ISN'T THAT YOUR CADDY? ISN'T THAT COLIN MOCHRIE? ARE YOU SURE IT'S NOT RYAN? RYAN WHO? WHO'S RYAN? HOW SHOULD I KNOW? CAN WE GET ON WITH THE LESSON PLEASE? AREN'T YOU THE TEACHER? IS THE POPE CATHOLIC? IS CILLA BLACK? IS BARRY WHITE? ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Game: Questions Only Players: Bremner, EstenC, MikeMcSha Scene: Getting directions at a gas station DO YOU KNOW HOW TO GET OUT OF CAMBRIDGE? HAVE YOU TRIED TURNING LEFT? DO I LOOK LIKE I KNOW HOW TO TURN LEFT? ISN'T THERE A MOTORWAY SOMEWHERE? CAN'T YOU FIND IT? DOES MY BREATH SMELL LIKE BBOZE? DOESN'T YOUR BREATH ALWAYS SMELL LIKE BBOZE (Booze is illegal) IF YOU CAN'T EVEN PRONOUNCE IT, DON'T YOU THINK THAT'S A BIT OF A GIVEAWAY? ARE THERE REALLY 12 OF YOU? DO YOU KNOW YOU'RE MAKING A BREMNER OUT OF ME? ARE YOU ASKING ME, OR THESE OTHER ELEVEN MES? IS THERE SOME COFFEE I CAN DRINK? WHY DOES OUR CAR LOOK LIKE A TWIGLET WITH A STEERING WHEEL? DID YOU MAKE IT OUT OF A TWIGLET? WHY WOULD WE MAKE OUR CAR OUT OF A TWIGLET? DOES IT LOOK LIKE THERE'S MARMITE STICKING TO THE CAR OR SOMETHING? CAN YOU OPEN IT UP? ARE YOU MY LONG LOST SON? PHIL JEFFERSON? DAVE BALANGALANGALANG? IS CILLA BLACK? WHY THE HELL ARE YOU WORKING AT THE PETROL STATION? DO YOU THINK I ENJOY THIS? DO YOU THINK WE SHOULD LEAVE? DO WE EVEN HAVE DIRECTIONS BACK TO THE MOTORWAY YET? DIDN'T I TELL YOU? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT YOU DIDN'T TELL US? DON'T YOU KNOW THAT HE NEVER REMEMBERS ANYTHING? DIDN'T YOU REMEMBER MY LACK OF REMEMBRANCE? DON'T YOU REMEMBER THAT I DON'T REMBEMBER THAT YOU CAN'T REMEMBER? ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Game: Questions Only Players: Joanne, Mochrie, RStiles, SFry Scene: Waiting for the bus ARE YOU WAITING FOR THE BUS? DOES IT LOOK LIKE I'M WAITING FOR THE BUS? WOULDN'T YOU KNOW THAT? HOW DO I LEAVE HERE? DON'T YOU GET ON A BUS? ARE YOU ASKING ME? ISN'T THIS QUESTIONS ONLY? =o) AREN'T WE ASKING QUESTIONS? * RStiles feels a buzz coming on for her BUZZ! And there it is =o) okay, I take over for Claud. DO YOU THINK WE'LL BE LATE? CAN'T YOU TELL TIME? DON'T YOU NOTICE THAT I DON'T HAVE A WATCH ON? DIDN'T YOU SEE THE CLOCK BEHIND YOU? DOES THE BUS STOP AT UNIVERSITY AVENUE? DOES IT LOOK LIKE I KNOW OR CARE? DO YOU KNOW HOW INSENSITIVE YOU ARE? LOL! LOL! BUZZ! WHY ARE YOU WATING FOR THE BUS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD? SHOULDN'T WE STEP BACK ON THE CURB? ARE YOU GOING TO STEP BACK NOW? DON'T YOU THINK IT'S A GOOD IDEA, SEEING AS THERE'S A BUS COMING? WHY AREN'T YOU LISTENING TO ME? HAVEN'T YOU NOTICED I'M DEAF? IS THAT WHY.... BUZZ! Heh! Yikes! LOL! Do we want to go on, or stop? We'll stop! Emile is the linner! HA! Monaco is the linner! Oh ya, Monaco's won de big prize, bwana! Hehehe! LOL! * MrsTony loves Python references :) * SFry I love Monty Python And now, guten abend, the scores! Das scores, des scores, ho scores, HA SCORES! (Scores in Japanese characters) LOL! :) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Game: Questions Only Players: Joanne, Mochrie, MrsTony, SFry Scene: Having Clive Anderson's love child DID YOU KNOW I'M PREGNANT? WHY WOULD YOU ASK SUCH A THING? DIDN'T YOU ASK IF I'VE GAINED WEIGHT? HOW DID IT HAPPEN? SHOULDN'T YOU HAVE LEARNED THAT IN SCHOOL? DO YOU THINK I WENT TO SCHOOL? HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF CLIVE ANDERSON? DOESN'T HE HAVE NO HAIR? DON'T YOU KNOW THAT BALD MEN TURN ME ON? HOW WOULD I KNOW ABOUT THESE THINGS? HAVEN'T YOU WATCHED ME FONDLE HIS SCALP? ISN'T THAT UNSANITARY? LOL! We need a Clive! To buzz that is! Hahahahaha! Nick can be Clive! * Dr_Nick rips out all his hair! I loved that "fondle his scalp"!!!!!! ROFL! CAN'T YOU SEE THAT I DON'T CARE? ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME YOU'RE HAVING HIS LOVE CHILD? DOESN'T THE WORLD KNOW ALREADY? WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO NAME THE BABY? IS THROATWOBBLER MANGROVE ANDERSON TOO STRANGE? DO YOU SPELL IT RAYMOND LUXURY-YACHT? LOL! Hehehehe! HAVE YOU BEEN LISTENING INTO MY CONVERSATIONS WITH MY DEAR CLIVE? ARE YOU TRYING TO IMPLY SOMETHING? ISN'T IT TRUE THAT YOU WANT TO CARRY CLIVE'S LOVE CHILD? DOESN'T IT BOTHER YOU THAT I'M MALE? Hehehe! DOES IT BOTHER YOU? DO YOU KNOW IT'S GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE? HAVEN'T YOU HEARD THAT LOVE CAN CONQUER ALL? LOL! :) WHEN IS THE CHARMING BABY DUE TO BE BORN? DIDN'T YOU SEE IT FALL TO THE FLOOR JUST NOW? EWWWW!!!! .... wait, that's not a question. I'm out! :) WHY DID YOU LET IT FALL? DIDN'T YOU SEE THAT MY HANDS WERE FULL? IS IT OK? DID YOU HEAR IT CRY? DO YOU KNOW FIRST AID? DO YOU THINK HE LOOKS LIKE HIS FATHER? WHY DO YOU ASK ME THAT? IF HE DOES, THEN DOES HE REALLY NEED FIRST AID? IS THAT REALLY A FAIR QUESTION? ARE YOU AFRAID TO TELL ME THE TRUTH ABOUT MY SON? DO YOU THINK YOU CAN HANDLE THE TRUTH? CAN I BUZZ YOU OUT IF I DON'T THINK THE TRUTH IS GOOD ENOUGH? WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THE CHILD IS A BOY? (snort) HAVEN'T YOU SEEN A BOY BEFORE? Hahahaha I have NO ANSWER for that!!! <--- rolling DOES A BEAR DANCE? ARE YOU SAYING THAT CLIVE'S SON LOOKS LIKE A BEAR? LOL! DO YOU THINK I ASKED THAT QUESTION? WHAT WAS I TO INFER FROM YOUR QUESTION? WHAT WAS MY QUESTION? LOL! WHY ARE WE DWELLING ON THIS WHEN WE SHOULD BE TALKING ABOUT MY CHILD! Is that a question? Heh! LOL! * MrsTony bows out WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO NAME THAT CHILD? DIDN'T I TELL YOU ALREADY? WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME? DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU EVERYTHING? ARE YOU GOING TO CALL AN AMBULANCE? WHAT'S THE NUMBER FOR 911? LOL! DON'T YOU KNOW IT? WHY IS THERE NO "11" ON THE PHONE? LOL! DON'T YOU KNOW THE NUMBER 1? IS THAT HALF OF 11? WHY DON'T YOU LOOK IT UP? WHAT DO I LOOK LIKE, A MATHEMAGICIAN? DO I LOOK LIKE MOTHER THERESA? ISN'T SHE DEAD? DO I LOOK DEAD? LOL! WOULD "NO" BE A WRONG ANSWER? BUZZ! Good game!!! Game over! We all win! Yaaaaaay! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Game: Questions Only Players: GaryGary, Mochrie, SFry, Wayne Scene: At the Millenium party IS IT MIDNIGHT YET? DON'T YOU HAVE A WATCH ON? CAN'T YOU SEE THAT I DON'T? HOW OLD IS DICK CLARK NOW, A HUNDRED? DOESN'T HE LOOK GOOD FOR HIS AGE? WHY WOULD I CARE ABOUT THAT? CARE FOR SOME CHAMPAGNE? DO YOU KNOW THAT I DON'T DRINK? WHY NOT? ISN'T THAT A LITTLE PERSONAL? WHAT IS A LITTLE PERSONAL INFO BETWEEN FRIENDS? WE'RE FRIENDS? LOL! :) AREN'T WE? OK, that was lame!