--------------------------------------------------------------------------- WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY? WLIIA Chat Games --------------------------------------------------------------------------- SUPERHEROES --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Game: Superheroes Players: LawrenceJ - Chicken Woman, Mochrie - Leave Vowels Out Of Words Man, PeterCook - Obscure Reference Boy, Sweeney - Captain Beavis and Butthead, StilesR - Shakespeare Boy Scene: A meteor is heading towards the Earth HMM...TIM FR MY DLY CHCK F TH CRSS MNTR...H MY GD! MTR S HDNG TWRDS RTH! TIM? SRRY! WHT CN DO...HP MY SPR FRNDS ARRV SN... SORRY IM LATE, I DROPPED MY LIGHTER. THNK GD YR HR, BSCR RFRNC BY...MTR'S HDNG TWRDS RTH! W ND T D SMTHNG! WELL AS THE POPE SAID TO THE PRIME MINISTER, LIVERPPOL SHOULD WIN -- BUT DIDNT SHAKESPEARE WRITE, "OH BUM"? LOL LOL LL :-) 'M STYNG N CHRCTR. I THINK EVEN ARISTOTLE WOULD SAY WE NEED HELP HERE. :) SORRY I'M LATE. I WAS STUCK IN TRAFFIC. THANK ABBA YOURE HERE! WHT R W T D? W ND T DSTRY TH MTR! CAPTAIN BEAVIS AND BUTTHEAD! LOL HUH-HUH. COOL. A METEOR. THIS SUX. LL BUT THEN AS I SAID TO THE HEALTH COUNCIL, GET STUFFED! HRRY! W GTT SV TH RTH! IF WE ALL DIE, I'LL NEVER, LIKE, SCORE. HUH-HUH. WE NEED SOME MORE HELP. IT WAS WRITTEN IN THE BIBLE, COKE ADDS LIFE. HELLO, SORRY I'M LATE -- I GOT STUCK AT A ROUNDABOUT... AS TOLSTOY WROTE: WAR AND PIZZA. HEY, COOL. WELCOME SHAKESPEARE BOY. hee hee :) IF I WERE BUT A MAN WHO COULD HELP, I WOULD BE USEFUL... LOL FORSOOTH... THE METEOR PORTENTS GREAT DANGER FOR THE LAND. 'M S GLD YR HR SHKSPR BY! WHT SHLD W D? REMEMBER THE OLD PROVERB: NEVER COUNT YOUR METEOR BEFORE IT LANDS. NO NEED TO WORRY, I HAVE ARRIVED, HOW CAN I HELP? SHALT NOT THOU BE WORRIED, FOR I SHALL CAST A DIVINE WIZARDRY ON THE METEOR.... AH, THANK GOODNESS YOU ARE HERE, CHICKEN WOMAN! BAUK, BAUK, A METOER, OH MY! WHT CN W D, CHKN WMN? BAUK, WE CAN LAY MANY EGGS, I DON'T KNOW IF IT'LL HELP, BUT ITS ALL I CAN DO! WELL, I HAVE TO GO, AS CONFUSCIOUS SAID "I NEED A SMOKE"! METHINKS THAT PLAN HATH GREATNESS IN IT! HUH-HUH. HUH-HUH. THAT PLAN SUX. THOU HATH RETURN-ED TO FIGHT THIS MONSTROUS METEOR! THNK 'LL G VST DN QYL... --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Game: Superheroes Players: LawrenceJ - Two-Syllable Word Girl, PeterCook - Baby Talking Person, PMerton - Woman Who Thinks LawrenceJ Is Your Long-Lost High School Lover, izzard - Rhyming Couplet Man Scene: The earth's water supply is being contaminated by twiglets TWIGLETS, GOING INTO WATER. HE-ELP! I'M SORRY I WAS LATE, I WAS HAVING MY PROSTATE ENGRAVED. WELCOME BABY TALKING PERSON! IS THAT NICE TO EAT MUMMY? I NEED SOME WATER NOW!!!!!! WAAAAAAAAAH!!! I'M SORRY FOR BEING LATE, I HAD TO STUFF SOME TWIGLETS DOWN tHE GARBAGE DISPOSAL... TWIGLETS, CANYA BELIEVE TAKING OVER WATER! GOOD TO SEE YOU...WOMAN WHO THINKS LAWRENCEJ IS YOUR LONG-LOST HIGH SCHOOL LOVER! JOSIE - IS THAT YOU?? YOU LOOK SO GREAT!! I WANT SUM WATER NOW!!!! THE MEMORIES JUST COME FLOODING BACK - REMEMBER THAT TIME BEHIND THE BLEACHERS!!! BY THE WAY, I LOVE YOUR NEW HAIR STYLE! HEY, I'M RIGHT HERE GUYS, CAN'T YOU SEE ME? I'M NOT THAT SHORT! THANK GOD YOU'RE HERE RHYMING COUPLET MAN! NEVER FEAR, FOR I AM HERE, FIGHTING EVIL WHERE IT LIES, EATING TWIGLETS WITH THE GUYS! ABOUT TWIGLETS, WHAT EVER HAPPENED? DO YOU THINK IF I POUR MY MILK IN THE WATER IT'LL BE OKAY MUMMY? I THINK I'LL JUST LICK THEM UP LIKE THE WAY I ... OH, NEVER MIND... --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Game: Superheroes Players: Merton - State the Obvious Woman, Mochrie - Sexual Innuendo Man, She-Ryan - Dyslexia Woman, Vranch - The Narcoleptic Kid Scene: The world's pencils are running out of lead LET ME TURN ON MY WORLD CRISIS MONITOR - THAT'S THE THING THAT LETS ME SEE THE WORLD! OH MY GOD! THE WORLD'S PENCILS, WHICH ARE THESE LONG THIN THINGS THAT PEOPLE USE TO WRITE WITH, ARE RUNNING OUT OF LEAD...IT'S ACTUALLY GRAPHITE! WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO? * Mochrie enters SORRY I'M LATE, I WAS AUDITIONING FOR A PART IN THE NEW PLAY "NEON LOVE CHICKEN"! ROTFL! THANK GOD YOU'RE HERE SEXUAL INNUENDO MAN! Hehe! HMM...PENCILS ARE RUNNING OUT OF LEAD...LET ME GET ABREAST OF THE SITUATION. OH BUM! I'LL NEED SOME HELP HERE! BUMS ARE WHERE WE SIT - AND ALSO ANOTHER WORD FOR TRAMPS. * She-Ryan enters SORRY I'M LATE I WAS FEEDING MY OCTOPUS! THANK GOD YOU'RE HERE...DYSLEXIC WOMAN... THAT WAS A FORM A ALLITERATION. WE NEED TO FIND SOME LEAD FOR THOSE LEAN, HARD PENCILS..... SEY, I...HO ON! ON LAED? * Vranch enters * Mochrie is blushing so profusely you'd never believe it. I love it Moch! LEAD IS VERY HEAVY! IT CERTAINLY IS...AND SO ARE YOUR THIGHS! LOL!!! (how right he is...) * Vranch is trying not to get kicked out of the lab for laughing! SORRY I'M LATE, I WAS OUT THROWING BREAD AT THE JUNIOR RESEARCH FELLOW. HTANK DOG! TI'S HTE NARCOLEPTIC DIK! I THINK WE ALL KNOW WHAT THAT IS, DON'T WE! WHAT IS GOING ON OH NO, THE PENCI..... VRANCH FELL ASLEEP! HO ON! HO ON!!!!! Well, that's narcolepsy for you... * Vranch wants to be woken up VRANCH WANTS TO BE WOKEN UP! KAWE PU! WAKE UP, VRANCH. THIS CRISIS NEEDS TO BE SATISFIED...AS DO I! Hehe!! TAYS WKAEA! AH THAT WAS A JOLLY NAP. I'LL JUST GO ON MY MERRY WAY AS I CAN'T HELP HERE....

SHOG, YUOR HONRY! Oh my..... NO YOU CAN'T! WAIT! THERE'S SOME PENCIL LEAD UNDER THE *SHAG* PILE! LAL RIHGT! SHAG IS A TYPE OF CARPET! Eheh! AHAH, ERMT! HTAT TI SI! OS LNOG! I MUST GO NOW...GOTTA FEED MY HORNY TOADS. WELL THANK GOD THAT CRISIS IS OVER. SINCE MOCHRIE FOUND THE PENCIL LEAD, THERE IS NO LONGER A SHORTAGE! I knew you had it in you, Moch! Oh dear...(true in character) I didn't know I had it in me! Well, u did! And I never want to let it out again! Excellent job! Oh, it's out! LOL! Well that was certainly interesting ...for me at least...god, i'm blushing! That was true to the game... --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Game: Superheroes Players: Arden - Captain Lisp, McShaneM - Uses A :) All The Time Man, Mochrie - Ultimate Worrier, PeterCook - Talks-Way-Too-Slow Man, PMerton - War Hero Woman, She-Ryan - Identity Crisis Woman Scene: Toupee shortage RIGHT-O MITHTER ANDERSON, HERE'S YOUR - OH NO, WHERE HAVE ALL THE TOOPEETHS GONE? I HOPE MY THUPER FRIENDTH GET HERE THOON! SORRY I'M LATE, I WAS PLAYING TWISTER WITH MY POODLE. (:o <--- Clive with no hair THANK GOODNETH YOUR HERE, UTHES A :) ALL THE TIME MAN! NO PROBLEM :) GLAD I COULD BE HERE :) WHAT'S THE PROBLEM? :) WERE ALL OUT OF TOOPEETH! COLIN, CLIVE, AND THTEVE ARE REALLY DEPRETHED! THAT'S TOO BAD! :) I'M REALLY SAD ABOUT THAT! :) NO, REALLY I AM! :) DON'T LET MY SMILE FOOL YOU! :) Hehe! LOL! THIS JOBTH TOO BIG FOR THE TWO OF UTH. I SHOULD SAY SO :) WE NEED MORE HELP :) HI! I WOULD HAVE GOT HERE SOONER, BUT I WAS BUSY DOING A CAT FOOD COMMERCIAL. WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU? GLAD YOU COULD JOIN US 'ULTIMATE WORRIER' :) WE'RE OUT OF HAIR PIETHES! OH NO! OH NO!!! NO TOUPEES! THIS IS TERRIBLE! I'LL BE BALD FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE! AUGH! CAN YOU IMAGINE ME AS A BALD MAN! (:o I FEEL VERY BAD FOR YOU :) THERE GIVING AWAY THERRETS ATH REPLATHMENTS. WHAT'LL MY WIFE SAY! SHE'S GONNA LEAVE ME FOR THE MILKMAN, I JUST KNOW IT! I'D BE THERE TO CONSOLE YOU :) I'D BE VERY SENSITIVE ABOUT IT TOO :) OH, THINGS CAN'T GET MUCH WORSE!! I COULD USE SOME MORE HELP! SORRY IM LATE BUT MY HAIRLINE RECEDED! I THEE YOU'VE HEARD! THANK GOD YOU'VE COME, TALKS-WAY-TOO-SLOW MAN! WEEEELLLL.......I DID HEAR......SOMETHING......OR...... THPIT IT OUT! ......DID I? HAIR'S...... HELP! WE NEED TOUPEES! MY LIFE WILL GO TO SHAMBLES WITHOUT IT! ....TO YOU.... THAT'S QUITE A SPEECH IMPEDIMENT HE HAS, I FEEL BAD FOR HIM :) ITH TERRIBLE! ...I HEAR....SOMEONE....ABOUT TO......ARRIVE? SORRY ABOUT THE DELAY, BUT I WAS NEARLY RUN OVER BY A MOB OF SCREAMING BALD MEN! WHAT AM I GONNA TELL MY KIDS? THEY'LL STOP LOVING ME JUST 'CAUSE I'M -- FOLICALLY CHALLENGED!! THANK GOD YOURE HERE....WAR HERO WOMAN.... THOLICALLY CHALLENGED? YES, NOW THAT I'M HERE, EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE. YOU KNOW HOW I GOT THIS PURPLE HEART, DON'T YOU? WIGS.....I LIVE FOR.....THEM STOP IT MOCHRIE, YOU'RE MAKING ME SO SAD :) THERE HATH TO BE SOMETHING WE CAN DO! WHAT CAN I DO! THIS IS THE END OF MY LIFE AS WE KNOW IT! I FEEL FINE :) LIFE.....THE END......SOUNDS.....KINDA...UMMMMM....SAD...... I WAS STRUCK DOWN IN 'NAM WHILE DOING HAIR TRANSPLANT SURGERY. OH, SHUT UP! SHUT UP! --- SHUT UP ONCE AGAIN! WHAT A TRAGIC SITUATION VIETNAM WAS :) I told u not to vacation in 'Nam! Haha Nick! WERE BEING BLINDED BY THERE BALDNETH! WE NEED HAIRPIECES! OTHERWISE I'M DOOMED! WHERE CAN WE FIND ANY? OH HELP! HELP! HELP! BUT I NEED SOMEONE TO ASSIST ME IF I'M ABOUT TO PERFORM THIS OPERATION AGAIN. I HOPE SOMEONE COMES SOON... WELL, MOCH....OR SHOULD TAHT BE.......MOCHRIE? MY....FRIEND? DOOMED?.......ARE YOU....SURE?.......REALLY? I'M SORRY I'M LATE, I WAS BUSY BRUSHING AND CONDITIONING MY LONG, THICK, BEAUTIFUL, SHINY HEAD OF PROTEIN! THAT WASN'T NICE SHE-RYAN :) THANK GOD YOU'RE HERE IDENTITY CRISIS WOMAN! HELP! HELP! ARGH! WE NEED HELP! THE THIX OF UTH THOULD BE SUTHICENT TO DEAL WITH THITH CATATHTROTHE... *** She-Ryan is now known as LispBoy *** LispBoy is now known as TalksTooS *** TalksTooS is now known as Smileyguy I'VE GOT AN.....IDEA....OR...... YEAH, I WAS IN NAM....RIGHT? SNAP OUT OF IT LADY! WE HAVE WORK TO DO - JUST LIKE BACK IN THE GULF WAR.... I DID HAVE IT....NOW I'VE....FORGOTTEN IT! *** Smileyguy has quit IRC (Leaving!) WAIT! THAT RUG OVER THERE! IT'S MADE OF -- HAIR!!!!!! LOOKS LIKE YOU CHASED HER AWAY :) IDENTITY CRISIS WOMAN IS HAVING A REALLY BAD TIME OF IT. WE'LL USE MY THPIT TO MAKE THUM WIGTH FROM IT! NOW SHE THINKS SHE'S INVISIBLE! JUST LIKE THOSE STEALTH BOMBERS! HEY...LETS NOT MOVE....TOO FAST.....HERE. *** SOLUTION (SciGal2933@166-49-247.ipt.aol.com) has joined #WLiiA BUT WAIT! OH NO! THERE'S ALSO WAR, CRIME, POLITICAL STRIFE AT HOME AND ABROAD! AUGH!! I'M THE SOLUTION AND I'M HERE! IDENTITY CRISIS WOMAN IS NO LONGER INVISIBLE. RADAR CAN DETECT HER NOW. I SURE....WON'T.....WELCOME.....BACK.......ASH......LEY..... *** SOLUTION is now known as bABYGIRL GOO GOO GAA GAA! *** bABYGIRL is now known as ACow MMOO! I'M ON A......PERMANENT......LAG! GLAD YOU ARE BACK :) *** ACow is now known as Sheep BAAAAAAA! I KNOW! I'LL TAKE THE RUG AND DO HAIR TRANSPLANTS ON EVERYBODY! THAT WILL SOLVE THE CRISIS! GOOD.....COW! *** Sheep is now known as Rug HOORAY! HORRAY! OOPS.....SHEEP..... I'M OFF TO PREPARE FOR SURGERY! OOPS.....RUG..... THANK GOODNETH! I'VE GOTTA GO WORRY ABOUT OTHER THINGS...SEE YA! I MUST....................GO....... GLAD I COULD HELP. :) I HAVE A FUNERAL TO GO TO :) BYE :) THANK GOODNETH THAT CATATHROTHES AVERTED.....IT WAS JUST GETTING THILLY! --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Game: Superheroes Players: Colin - Witty Retort Man, McShaneM - Paper Boy, Mochrie - '99 Bottles Of Beer On The Wall' Man, PeterCook - Sound Effects Man, Quen-Tin - Talk Show Woman Scene: The Sudbury (Ontario) Council is taking over the world OH SURE MOM, JUST LIKE IT'S MY FAULT YOU MARRIED DAD! YOU'RE NUTS MA. LOOK GOTTA GO, THE WORLD CRISIS MONITOR IS BEEPING. OH MY GOD! THE SUDBURY CITY COUNCIL IS ANNOUNCING PLANS TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD! WHERE'S PINKY WHEN YOU NEED HIM? OH WELL, I'LL WAIT FOR THE ONE OF MY SUPERFREINDS TO ARRIVE! SORRY I'M LATE, I ACCIDENTALLY KRAZY GLUED MY DOG TO THE FLOOR AND...WELL, NEVER MIND. LATE? YOU'RE NOT LATE! YOU'RE EARLY FOR THE NEXT WORLD CRISIS PAPER BOY! LOOK, I'M JUST HERE TO COLLECT FOR LAST WEEK'S DELIVERIES! NEVER MIND ABOUT THAT KING TARDY, WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO? JIM GORDON IS THE WORLD'S BIGGEST WINDBAG AND HE WANTS TO RULE THE WORLD! (He's the mayor of Sudbury.) I COULD THROW A PAPER THROUGH HIS FRONT WINDOW IF IT WOULD HELP! YOU'RE A PAPER BOY, YOU SHOULD HAVE KNOWN ABOUT THIS BEFORE! ESPECIALLY THE SUNDAY EDITION! HEY I JUST DELIEVER 'EM, I DON'T READ 'EM! IF I READ, I COULD SPELL PROPERLY TOO! EXCUSES EXCUSES! I THINK I HEAR MY FRIEND COMING ALONG TO HELP US... I'M SORRY I WAS LATE, I WAS HAVING A LEAK.......FIXED IN MY FURNACE. I HEAR THERE'S AN EMERGENCY! THANKS FOR SHOWING UP '99 BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALL' MAN WELL, 99 BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALL, , 99 BOTTLES OF BEER, TAKE ONE DOWN, PASS IT AROUND, 98 BOTTLES OF BEER... I LOVE THAT SONG, EXCEPT I'M TOO YOUNG TO DRINK! OH YEAH, GETTING DRUNK WILL SOLVE ALL OUR PROBLEMS! SURE! I THINK WE NEED SHOME HELP TO SHORT OUT THIS CRISHISH! I'M SORRY IM LATE, BUT I JUST COMMITTED TO MEMORY THE MINUTES OF THE LAST FIVE YEARS OF SUDBURY CITY COUNCIL MEETINGS! THAT COULD COME IN HANDY... SHANK GOD YOU'RE HERE -- SHOUND EFFECTS BOY. LOL! * PeterCook blows a trumpet to announce his appearance! THE SHUDBURY COUNSHIL IS TAKING OVER THE WORLD. WE GOTTA DO SHOMETHING! YOU HAVE SUCH A FULL LIFE SOUND EFFECTS BOY! DO I HEAR WIND BLOWING FROM THE COUNCIL! IS ANYBODY GONNA PAY ME FOR LAST WEEK'S PAPERS OR WHAT? * PeterCook whoooosh! MY BOSS WILL BE TICKED IF I DON'T GET ALL THE COLLECTIONS! * PeterCook clink clink clink! I LOVE THOSE BOTTLES! YOU'RE BOSS IS A TICK IF HE HIRED YOU! I'D LOVE SOME HELP TOO! ...77 BOTTLES OF BEER ON DA WALL........ DON'T BE SURPRISED IF YOUR SPORTS SECTION IS MISSING... SO, HEY, WHUT'S HAPPENING...... THANK GOD YOURE HERE TALK SHOW HOST WOMAN! TODAY ON THE SHOW, THE SUDBURY COUNCIL...ITS SECRETS, ITS SHAME... I COULD PELT THE BIT SUDBURY NICKEL WITH NEWPAPERS UNTIL IT COMES OFF ITS BASE, ROLLS INTO THE COUNCIL BUILDING AND CRUSHES THE ENTIRE COUNCIL... ...44 BOTTLESH...AH, SHTUFF IT!... IT'S A SHAME THERE IS A SUDBURY CITY COUNCIL... * PeterCook whir whir whir! LOL Nick! THE SUDBURY COUNCIL THINKS THEY'RE HERE FOR TAKING OVER THE WORLD, BUT WHAT THEY DON'T KNOW IS BACKSTAGE, WE HAVE A FORMER COUNCIL MEMBER HERE TO TELL THEM A SECRET........ ...26 BOTTLES......... WE COULD GET THE COUNCIL LIQUORED UP ON SOME OF 99'S BEER, TAKE INCRIMINATING PHOTOS WHICH WE COULD RUN IN MY NEWSPAPER, AND FRAME THEM! ...THAT THE FORMER MEMBER HAS ALREADY TAKEN OVER THE WORLD, AND THEY ARE POWERLESS TO STOP HIM. THAT'S ALL THE TIME I HAVE TODAY, GOODNIGHT AND SEE YOU NEXT TIME WHEN OUR TOPIC WILL BE.....JUST WHAT DID HAPPEN TO CLIVE ANDERSON'S NECK? * Quen-tin leaves. LOL! Hee hee! LOL Hee (hic) hee (hic) hee (hic)! WELL I THINK IVE SOUNDED OUT THIS SITUATION! WELL, I GUESSH I'VE GOTSTA GO....SHEE YA... WELL YOU BETTER PAY NEXT WEEK... I HAVE TO GET THE REST OF THIS DEADBEAT NEIGHBOURHOOD... BYE. THANKS TO DEFEATED FORMER COUNCILLOR RONALD McDONALD (No kidding, that was his name!) WE'RE SAFE FROM TERROR AND TYRANNY AND UNENDING BOREDOM. NOW ABOUT REGIONAL COUNCIL'S PLANS FOR WORLD DOMINATION... --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Game: Superheroes Players: Dean - Sudden Mood Change Man, AlanaO - Drunk Tour Guide Woman, EstenC - Bad Clive Anderson Impression Man, She-Ryan - Country Bumpkin Woman, Toksvig - Captain Horny Woman Scene: The Earth is hurtling towards the sun I'LL JUST SWITCH ON MY CRISIS MONITOR OH NO THE EARTH IS HURTLING TOWARDS THE SUN, HOW DEPRESSING :( ON THE OTHER HAND IT COULD INPROVE MY SUNTAN :) OH THESE CRISES MAKE ME ANGRY OR BORED SORRY I'M LATE I CAME AS SOON AS I COULD I WISH SOMEONE WOULD ARRIVE TO HELP SORT THIS OUT GOOD TO SEE YOU, DRUNK TOUR GUIDE WOMAN WELL, I WOULD HAVE BEEN HERE SOONER BUT I GOT LOST AND I RAN OVER SOME PEOPLE IN THE TOUR BUS (slurred) I'M SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU :) BUT YR DRUNKENNESS MAKES ME ANGRY :( YOU SURE BOUT DAT? YOU'RE MAKING ME CRY ABOUT RUNNING PEOPLE OVER HI, SORRY I'M LATE, SOMEONE RAN OVER ME IN A BUS. * Dean weeps buckets. THANK GOSH YOU GOT HERE, BAD CLIVE ANDERSON IMPRESSION MAN YES, WELL... OKAY, WHAT'S THE NEXT GAME THEN... SORRY BOUT DA BUS HAHAHA SOUNDS LIKE AN AMUSING INCIDENT DERE'S A PROBLEM, BUT I CAN'T REMEMBER WHAT IT WAS I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU 500 POINTS FOR THAT, AND ONE MILLION TO DEAN BECAUSE HE WASN'T IN IT. THAT MAKES ME REALLY ANGRY MARK YOUR SCORING IS JUST UNFAIR I'M SORRY I'M LA...MY GOD! YOU'RE CLIVE ANDERSON!....WITH HAIR..? WHAT? WHAT'S GOIN' ON, I THINK I PASSED OUT FOR A MINUTE YES, LOOKING AT YOUR HAIRLESS HEAD MAKES ME SO SAD * Dean weeps again AND UP AGAINST THE METEORITE TONIGHT WE HAVE, FIRSTLY, THE VERY FUNNY COUNTRY BUMPKIN WOMAN. WELL, YESSIN, I SURE 'NUFF JUST COME RIGHT T'ON UP HERE AND THAT THERE SUN WAS MIGHTY HOT...Y'ALL! YOU MIGHT HAVE SEEN THE METEORITE BEFORE IN "THE SKY IS FALLING" OR "END OF EARTH"... LESS LIKELY YOU'D HAVE SEEN IT IN "TELETUBBIES" AS IT WASN'T IN IT. GOD, WHAT ARE WE ARE GOING TO DO, IM SO SCARED * Dean hides behind Alana AND PASSING VENUS PUTS THE EARTH INTO A SHOCK SECOND POSITION... 'ELL I BE! IT'S HOT'NUFF TO DARN NEAR MELT MY BROTHER LEROY'S TRACTOR! Y'ALL SORRY I'M LATE, I WAS PUTTING ON 150 SUNSCREEN. YOU BEEN DRINKING? WELL GEE GOLLY GOSHKINS! I SHORE AM HAPPY TU SEE YA CAPTAIN HORNY WOMAN...Y'ALL! NOW THE NEXT GAME IS CALLED 'MOVING PEOPLE', AND THE OBJECT OF THIS GAME IS TO EVACUATE THE EARTH BEFORE IT BURNS UP. TO HELP WITH THIS I WILL CHOOSE 4 BILLION VOLUNTEERS FROM THE AUDIENCE... OOH, HI CLIVE. WANT TO COME BACK WITH ME? I'LL READ YOUR CREDITS ANY WAY YOU LIKE. I AM DISGUSTED WITH U ASHLEY! SUCH A SHOCKING SUGGESTION! WELL, LET'S GO INTO A GAME OF STAND, SIT, BEND... WELL, LET'S TREK ON DOWN TO THE SUN AND SEE IF IT BE HOT DOWN THAR....NOW MOOD SWING BOY, ARE YOU GITTING FRESH WITH ME? YES, MY FAVORITE GAME! ESPECIALLY THE BENDING! SUCH WANTON BEHAVIOUR! HOW ABOUT LET'S MAKE A DATE? NOSSIR, I BE A 'SPECTABLE YUNGIN......UNLESS YORE MY COUSIN...HAR HAR! ON THE LEFT YOU NOW SEE, UH, I FORGOT, LIQUOR MART, OR MARS FLYING BY. AND THAT MOVES EARTH INTO A SHOCK FOURTH PLACE... WELL, THIS GAME HAS BECOME VERY DEPRESSING.... * Dean leaves I THINK I'LL GIT CUSSIN BILL, WHO'S ALSO MY UNCLE AND BROTHER... AND FATHER...AND GRANDMA...HE CAN SOLVE THIS PROBLEM! I HAVE TO GO AND SOBER UP. WELL, ALL THAT REMAINS IS FOR ME TO TOTAL UP THE POINTS... I KNOW -- I WILL MAKE A GIANT RUBBER SHIELD OUT OF MY USED DIAPHRAMS AND BOUNCE THE EARTH BACK INTO IT'S ORBIT. SORRY GUYS, I *WILL* SEE YOU LATER. WELL, SAVING THE EARTH HAS TO BE WORTH AT LEAST FIVE MILLION POINTS... SHAME THAT WAS A NON-SCORING ROUND. * Toksvig leaves as fast as possible. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Game: Superheroes Players: Arden - Overwhelmed With Passion Man, BradS - Robbie The Robot Man, She-Ryan - Singing Ballerina Woman, Toksvig - Captain Sexually Frustrated Nun Scene: Shortage of toothbrushes OHHHH MYYYY GOOOODDDDDD! WHERE OH WHERE HAVE ALL THE TOOTHBRUSHES GONE? * Arden sobs uncontrollably NOW I CANT GET RICHARD TO SHOW HIS PEARLY WHITES! THIS CRISIS IS FAAR TTOOOO BIG FOR ONE MAN! I'M SORRY IM LATE BUT I HAD A PLAQUE BUILDUP! THANK GOODNESS YOU'RE HERE ROBBIE THE ROBOT MAN! WE'RE OUT OF TOOTHBRUSHES! IT'S SO SAD! DOES NOT COMPUTE, DOES NOT COMPUTE! I CAN'T HANDLE THAT! I AM NOT PROGRAMMED TO RESPOND TO THIS INPUT, WHHHIIIRRRRR.... ITS ALRIGHT - I STILL LOVE YOU. CARE TO OIL ME? THAT WOULD BE THE BEST EXPERIENCE EVER! BUT IM SHAKEN UP TOO MUCH! I NEED SOMEONE TO ARRIVE SOON TO REPROGRAM ME! * She-Ryan enters SORRY I'M LATE, I WAS LOOKING FOR SOME SCREWS! I PROMISED MYSELF I WOULDN'T CRY! THANK GOD YOURE HERE SINGING BALLERINA WOMAN! OH NO - MY FLOSS HAS BROKEN NOW TOO! * She-Ryan dances around like a ballerina and sings * Arden breaks down crying DOES NOT COMPUTE, WHAT IS FLOSS? THE TEARS ARE RUSTING ME WHERE HAVE ALL THE FLOSSES GONE? * She-Ryan sings "Floss is nice, floss is teeny, some girls use it as a bikini..." I AM PROGRAMMED TO RECOGNISE BIKINIS. * Toksvig enters * BradS has eyes on stalks THANK GOD YOURE HERE! SORRY I'M LATE I WAS TRYING TO FIND A GOOD DENTIST. THAT'S SO SAD! LALALALALALALALALALA ::SINGS:: "OH HOW NICE, OH HOW FUN! IT'S CAPTAIN SEXUALLY FRUSTRATED NUN!" * Toksvig is going to have to stop coming in after the sex fiend. Amused now lis??? :) Ashley you're a worry! OH, HELLO EVERYONE. I WAS PREYING FOR A ROBOT *JUST* LIKE THIS ONE. IT HAS SO MANY . . . APPENDAGES. THAT'S JUST PURE POETRY! I AM PROGRAMMED TO RESPOND. * BradS grabs Toksvig and embraces her. WHAT SHALL WE DO FIRST? . . . I MEAN ABOUT THE TOOTHBRUSHES. YES, THE TOOTHBRUSHES. LALALALALALA::SINGS:: CAPTAIN NUN SHE IS SO KEEN, SHE LIKES TO HAVE SEX WITH A MACHINE"! (SORRY!!!!) IT'S ALL TOO MUCH! I KNOW. I SHALL PREY THAT GOD SHALL DROP LONG, THIN, FLEXIBLE... IS IT HOT IN HERE? . . ANYONE HAVE TOOTHPASTE I COULD USE AS A LUBRICANT? ::SINGS:: CAPTAIN NUN, SHE'S A HORNY MATE, SHE ONLY LIKES TO FORNICATE!! HEY, THAT APPENDAGE LOOKS LIKE A TOOTHBRUSH! THAT'S SO SAD! YES, GOD SHALL DROP TOOTHBRUSHES LIKE MANNA FROM HEAVEN. I SHALL GO AND PREY. * Toksvig leaves after giving the robot her number. OH, THATS NICE ISN'T IT! DOES NOT COMPUTE, DOES NOT COMPUTE! ::sings:: GONNA GO COLLECT BRUSHES EASE, AND GIVE THEM TO ALL, IF YOU PLEASE" * She-Ryan dances out THEY'VE ALL GONE! =( * Arden dies --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Game: Superheroes Players: Ashdown - Alliteration Woman, McShaneM - Captain Stutter, Proopsie - Captain Know-It-All, Quen-Tin - Talk Backwards Girl, Toksvig - Crusading Canadian Scene: Clive Anderson is shrinking everybody's necks BEEPER BECKONING, BETTER BELLY ON OVER TO THE TV TO CHECK CRISIS. SOME SLOVENLY SILLY SICK HOST HAS SHRUNK NEARLY EVERYONE'S NECKS! HOPE HAPPY HELPING HEROES ARRIVE A.S.A.P.! SORRY I'M LATE, I WAS ARRANGING MY DUST BUNNIES ACCORDING TO SIZE! BOY AM I GLAD TO BE HERE....WHOEVER I AM! THANKS FOR FOLLOWING FRAIL FICKLE CRISIS, CAPTAIN STUTTER! W-W-W-WELL, N-N-NO P-P-PROBLEM I JUST H-H-H-HOPE I C-C-CAN HELP. HEINOUS HOST HURTING EVERYONE ELSE EVERYWHERE, SOME SUGGESTIONS? I W-W-W-WONDER WHO WOULD W-W-W-WANT TO SHRINK P-P-PEOP-P-PLE'S N-N-NECKS LIKE TH-TH-THAT! SOMEONE SERIOUSLY SICK! SORRY I'M LATE. LISA'S DIRECTIONS GOT ME TO AUSTRALIA AND BACK. I H-H-HOPE S-S-SOMEONE ELSE C-C-COMES ALONG TO H-H-H-H-HELP US. G-G-G-GLAD Y-Y-YOU C-C-COULD M-M-MAKE IT C-C-C-CAPTAIN KN-KN- KNOW-IT-ALL! WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT THE PROBLEM IS? I KNOW THAT EVERYONE WITH A SMALL NECK IS AN IDIOT. WHY DID THEY LET THIS HAPPEN TO THEMSELVES? * Quen-Tin swooooshes in. WHUT? OH G-G-G-GREAT, HE TH-TH-THINKS HE KN-KN-KNOWS EVERYTH-TH-THING! HEY, IT'S TALK BACKWARDS GIRL!! INTERESTINGLY INTELIGENT! ?PLEH I NAC WOH OF COURSE IT'S INTELLIGENT. !EVILC LIVE TAHT NMAD NEED NECKS!!! D-D-D-DO W-W-WE KN-KN-KNOW IT'S H-H-HIM? CLIVE IS A STUPID BITCH!!! I WHOOPED HIS BUTT IN MATH WHEN I WAS IN SCHOOL! !MIH TOOHS LL'I !DEPPOTS EB TSUM EH ISN'T TH-TH-THAT A LITLE S-S-SEVERE? WE MUST QUIZ HIM, YOU KNOW! THAT I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN BEAT HIM. WH-WH-WHAT WOULD HAPPEN T-T-TO WH-WH-WH-WH-WH-WH-WH, WH-WH-WH-WH, WH-WH-WH-WH, THE SHOW? PERFECT PLAN! SORRY I'M LATE, I'VE BEEN TRYING TO UNDERSTAND THE X-FILES CONSPIRACY. !NAIDANAC GNIDASURC EHT S'TI :-) WELL, HERE HAVE A MAPLE LEAF. WHAT'S THE PROBLEM? SHALL WE ALL GO TO MEECH LAKE AND DISCUSS IT? WAY TO G-G-GO C-C-CAPTAIN KN-KN-KNOW IT ALL :-) I LIKE KO-KO-KO- KO-KO-KO-KO-KO-KO-KO-KO-KANEE! SIMPLY SUPER SOLUTION! HEY, DID YOU KNOW THAT CANADA IS THE SECOND LARGEST COUNTRY IN THE WORLD? * Toksvig pulls out a 24 and hands around some Sleamans. IS ANYONE GOING TO TELL ME THE PROBLEM? ?ETARAPES DNA CEBEUQ EKIL EB UOY T'NOD YHW SOME GAME SHOW HOST IS SHRINKING PEOPLES NECKS, AND I KNOW WHO IT IS. SEPERATE? AND LOSE THAT DISTICTLY CANADIAN INDENTITY WE HAVE WORKED SO HARD TO BUILD? !PLEH !TSOH VT GNIKNIRHS KCEN !EVILC SAW TI UOY DLOT I OH DEAR, THAT'S A TERRIBLE THING. I WILL GO TO THE NATIVE PEOPLES OF CANADA AND HAVE THEM DISTILL A POTION LIKE THAT LEWIS CARROL DESCRIBES IN ALICE AND WONDERLAND. SHRINKING SINEWS NEAR NAPE OF NECK, CRUSADING CANADIAN! FOR SURE IT'S CLIVE. THEN ALL THE NECKS WILL GROW QUITE LONG, CLIVE'S INCLUDED AND HE WILL NO LONGER FEEL INFERIOR TO GREG! TH-TH-TH-THAT M-M-M-MAY W-W-WORK! !LOOC * Toksvig leaves to wander the beautiful forests of Canada and find the cure. HEY LOOK, IT'S CLIVE, READY TO JUMP OFF THE CN TOWER!! !EYB EYB WELL I'VE GOT TO GO. I HAVE A TEST TOMORROW THAT I KNOW I'LL GET 100% IN. WELL TH-TH-TH-TH-TH-TH-THAT'S ALL FOLKS! CRISIS CONTAINED, TIME TO TEST THE TURTLES...BYE BYE! --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Game: Superheroes Players: Mochrie - Captain Loves Inanimate Objects, PaulMerto - Multiple Accent Man, RushIzz - Captain Haiku, Sam_Slatt - Captain Can't Be Standing Up, Z`Daniel - Cartoon Obsessive Boy Scene: World is running out of laundry detergent OH, DEAR. MY CLOTHES ARE ALL...DIRTY...WITH....DIRT AND OTHER... NASTY... * Mochrie nuzzles his clothes. LOL!