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                           WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?
                               WLIIA Chat Games
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                               EVERY OTHER LINE
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Game:    Every Other Line
Players: Mochrie, Slattery
Scene:   Two people meeting in a supermarket, Slattery reads from "Death
         Of A Salesman", Mochrie's end line is "Have you seen the Spice
         Girls' movie?"

<Mochrie>  OH MY GOD! TONY! IS THAT YOU?
<Slattery> OPPORTUNITY IS TREMENDOUS IN ALASKA, WILLIAM. SURPRISED
           YOU'RE NOT UP THERE.
<Mochrie>  WELL, I'VE BEEN PLANNING TO GO TO ALASKA FOR SOME TIME, BUT
           I'VE ALWAYS BEEN PUTTING IT OFF.
<Slattery> HEH?
<Mochrie>  NO, IT'S TRUE!
<Slattery> WHO?
<Mochrie>  WELL, ME, THE WIFE, THE THREE KIDS, THE GERMAN SHEPHERD. MAYBE
           NOW THAT EL NINO'S IN FULL SWING, I'LL START PACKING TONIGHT!
<Slattery> *WILLY, TAKING A POT, SMILING* FINE, FINE.  
<Mochrie>  WHAT'S NEW WITH YOU THEN, TONY?
<Slattery> IS MOTHER LIVING WITH YOU?
<Mochrie>  NO, WE GOT RID OF THE OLD GOAT THREE YEARS AGO.
<Slattery> WHO?
<Mochrie>  MY MOTHER! YOU SHOULD KNOW HER! I BELIEVE YOU DATED HER A FEW
           MONTHS AGO.
<Slattery> *WILLY, TO CHARLEY* HEH?
<Mochrie>  OH, THAT'S MY SON, CHARLEY. DON'T MIND HIM. HE'S A SHOPLIFTER
           BY TRADE.
<Slattery> HEARD ANYTHING FROM FATHER, HAVE YOU?
<Mochrie>  WELL, LAST I HEARD, HE WENT TO SEE THE NEW SPICE GIRLS MOVIE,
           SPICEWORLD. HAVE YOU SEEN IT?"

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Game:    Every Other Line
Players: DCarey, HeatherM
Scene:   First flying lesson, HeatherM reads from "Death Of A Salesman",
         DCarey's end line is "Where is my Tickle-Me-Elmo doll?"

<HeatherM> HOW COULD I WRITE TO YOU?  FOR OVER THREE MONTHS YOU HAD NO
           ADDRESS.
<DCarey>   WELL, MY PO BOX IS ON THE WAIVER YOU HAD ME SIGN... 
<HeatherM> I KNOW DEAR, I KNOW.  BUT HE LIKES TO HAVE A LETTER.  JUST TO
           KNOW THAT THRE'S STILL A POSSIBILITY FOR BETTER THINGS.

<Dr__Nick> Dear? :-)
<HeatherM> It's in the play :)
<Dr__Nick> I know. Is DCarey there?

<DCarey>   AS FAR AS I KNOW, THEY ONLY HAVE NUMBERS ON THOSE DAMN THINGS...
           YOU CAN'T GET EM PERSONALIZED, LIKE LICENCE PLATES... I WOULD WANT
           MINE TO READ "MAILSTUD"!
<HeatherM> IT'S WHEN YOU COME HOME HE'S ALWAYS THE WORST.
<DCarey>   YEAH... LANDINGS ARE A BITCH... SO I'VE HEARD. BUT YOU'RE GOING
           TO GET ME THROUGH THAT.  THAT'S WHY I'M PAYING YOU OVER 40 QUID.

<Dr__Nick> Heh heh!
<Mochrie>  Haha!
<Dr__Nick> This isn't easy!
<Mochrie>  I know.
<HeatherM> No kidding.  ;)    

<HeatherM> WHY ARE YOU SO HATEFUL OF EACH OTHER?  WHY IS THAT?
<DCarey>   HE DOESN'T HATE ME.  HE JUST DOESN'T LIKE THE IDEA OF FLYING.
           BESIDES, NO ONE SAID I COULDN'T BRING HIM OR ANY OTHER PET
           GERBILS ABOARD THIS FLIGHT. I KNOW HE'S GIVING ME THAT "GERBIL
           SPITE" LOOK.

<Dr__Nick> LOL!
<Mochrie>  ROTFL!

<HeatherM> BUT YOU NO SOONER COME IN THE DOOR THEN YOU'RE FIGHTING!
<DCarey>   BUT WE GET ALONG WELL, EVEN THOUGH HE'S MORE INTO WHEELS THAN
           WINGS. SO WE FIGHT. NAME ONE PERSON THAT DOESN'T YELL AT THIER
           PETS...AND DON'T COUNT SIEGFRIED AND ROY.

<HeatherM> LOL!
<Mochrie>  Heehee!

<HeatherM> BIFF, YOU CAN'T LOOK AROUND ALL YOUR LIFE, CAN YOU?
<DCarey>   THEY HAVE A TIGER... THEY HAVE ALOT TO BE WORRIED ABOUT IF THAT
           THING GETS A HOLD OF THIER HAND...NO. THAT'S WHY WE HAVE THE REAR
           VIEW MIRRORS... I READ ABOUT THEM IN THE OWNERS MANUAL... THIS
           ONE IS FLAT, SO YOU SEE RIGHT BEHIND YOU. THE OTHERS ARE CURVED...
<HeatherM> BIFF, A MAN IS NOT A BIRD, TO COME AND GO WITH THE SPRINGTIME.
<DCarey>   SO YOU CAN SEE MORE, BUT THE OBJECTS LOOK CLOSER THAN THEY
           APPEAR...ALTHOUGH I'VE NEVER TESTED IT OUT FOR MYSELF. WHAT?
           ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME THAT I SHOULDN'T BE FLYING THIS THING.
           THEN WHAT DID I PAY YOU THAT MONEY FOR, IF I'M GOING TO GET
           LECTURED... THE ONLY REASON THAT I WENT WITH YOU GUYS IS BECAUSE
           YOU DIDN'T ASK ANY QUESTIONS ABOUT MY EYEPATCH AND FLIPPER ARM.
<HeatherM> OH, IT'S BEEN GRAY SINCE YOU WERE IN HIGH SCHOOL.  I JUST STOPPED
           DYEING IT, THAT'S ALL.
<DCarey>   MY GOD.  WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME MY FLIPPER ARM WAS DISCOLORED...
           NOW I'M GOING TO HAVE TO GET IT LOOKED AT BY THE DOCTOR. YOU'RE A
           LOUSY FLIGHT INSTRUCTOR. FOR THAT MATTER, I CHECKED IN MY LUGGAGE,
           BUT AFTER 5 MINUTES OF FLYING, I CAN'T FIND MY DOLL. WHERE IS MY
           TICKLE-ME-ELMO DOLL?
           
<Mochrie>  Woo hoo! Great game you guys! :)
<DCarey>   Thanks... not bad for the first one, eh?
<HeatherM> D'oh!
<HeatherM> I had a great next line..."You're such a boy!"
<Mochrie>  Heehee!
<HeatherM> Damn, that was tough!
<Dr__Nick> LOL!

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Game:    Every Other Line
Players: Mochrie, Wayne
Scene:   Two pilots going down in a plane crash, Wayne reads from "Recess",
         Mochrie's end line is "Let sleeping dogs lie."

<Mochrie> MAYDAY, MAYDAY! WE'RE RUNNING OUT OF FUEL! DON'T JUST SIT THERE
          JOHNSON, DO SOMETHING!
<Wayne>   EACH ONE OF US HAS BRAINS LIKE SIEVES
<Mochrie> WHAT DO YOU EXPECT, WITH ALL THAT CRAP THEY TEACH US IN FLIGHT
          SCHOOL! FIVE YEARS, AND MY BRAIN IS TURNING INTO MUSH! LOOK, WE'RE
          LOSING ALTITUDE HERE!
<Wayne>   SHOUT IT ALL AT ONCE!
<Mochrie> NO, WE'LL LET THE PASSENGERS DO THAT. HOW ABOUT LETTING THEM SHOUT,
          "AAAAAAGH!!"
<Wayne>   WE'RE A DUNCE!
<Mochrie> WE? I HATE TO BURST YOUR BUBBLE, JOHNSON, BUT IF YOU REMEMBER, I'M
          THE GRADUATE OF THE FLIGHT SCHOOL. YOU JUST WENT TO EARN FREQUENT
          FLYER MILES.
<Wayne>   WE CAN'T SOLVE LIFE'S MYSTERIES.
<Mochrie> YOU MEAN, LIKE HOW THEY GET THE CARAMEL INSIDE THE CARAMILK BAR?
<Wayne>   OUR GRADES OF LATE AIN'T BEEN SO HOT.
<Mochrie> DAMN IT! WE'RE PILOTS! GRADES AREN'T IMPORTANT! WHAT *IS* IMPORTANT
          IS LANDING THIS STUPID PIECE OF JUNK. AND SO FAR YOU'VE BEEN NO
          HELP AT ALL!
<Wayne>   CALL US MENTAL RUNTS.
<Mochrie> I PREFER THE TERM "AEROPLANE PILOTS"....I SWEAR, SOMETIMES I THINK
          YOU'RE ABOUT AS USEFUL AS A DOG.
<Wayne>   MRS. CRABAPPLE (RAISES HAND) MRS. CRABAPPLE!
<Mochrie> ALL RIGHT! YOU'VE FOUND ME OUT. I'M NOT A PILOT. I'M A TEACHER. SO
          WHAT IF I AM, I THINK WE SHOULD JUST LET SLEEPING DOGS LIE.

<Clive>   BUZZZ!!
<Wayne>   Good game!
<Mochrie> Woo!!!
<Clive>   That was good!
<Clive>   Was that from The Simpsons, David? It had Mrs. Crabapple!
<Wayne>   LOL! No, it is a play my class at school is putting on next month.
<Clive>   Oh, LOL!

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Game:    Every Other Line
Players: dananana, JoeIsham
Scene:   Taking something to be repaired in a shop, dananana reads from
         "Romeo & Juliet", JoeIsham's end line is "Does that come with
         batteries?"

<dananana> I PRAY THE, GOOD MERCUTIO, LET'S RETIRE.  THE DAY IS HOT, THE
           CAPULETS ABROAD.  AND IF WE MEET, WE SHALL NOT 'SCAPE A BRAWL!
<JoeIsham> YEAH, BUT I CAN'T GET MY TOASTER TO WORK. GO FIGURE.
<dananana> AM I LIKE SUCH A FELLOW?
<JoeIsham> YOU'RE WEARING THE 'SEARS' UNIFORM. I FIGURED YOU WORKED HERE.
<dananana> AND WHAT TO?
<JoeIsham> THE REPAIR DESK, OF COURSE.
<dananana> AN I WERE SO APT TO QUARREL AS THOU ART, ANY MAN SHOULD BUY THE
           FEE SIMPLE OF MY LIFE FOR AN HOUR AND A QUARTER.
<JoeIsham> THAT'S WHAT THE SIGN SAYS, 'MINIMUM CHARGE, 1 HR. 15 MINS.' SO
           CAN YOU FIX IT?
<dananana> BY THE HEAD, HERE COME THE CAPULETS.
<JoeIsham> WELL, THEY CAN GET IN LINE BEHIND ME.
<dananana> FOLLOW ME CLOSE, FOR I SHALL SPEAK TO THEM.  GENTLEMEN, GOOD DEN!
           A WORD WIT ONE OF YOU.
<JoeIsham> UM, OKAY. JUST AS LONG AS I CAN GET MY TOASTER BACK TODAY.
<dananana> YOU SHALL FIND ME APT ENOUGH TO THAT, SIR, AND YOU WILL GIVE ME
           OCCASION.
<JoeIsham> RIGHT. WILL YOU HAVE TO CALL ME LATER, OR CAN I WAIT FOR IT?
<dananana> MERCUTIO, THOU CONSORT'ST WITH ROMEO.
<JoeIsham> I'M GLAD TO SEE YOU HAVE THE WHOLE STAFF HERE TODAY.
<dananana> WE TALK HERE IN THE PUBLIC HAUNT OF MEN, EITHE RWITHDRAW UNTO
           SOME PRIVATE PLACE OR REASON COLDLY OF YOUR GRIEVANCES, OR ELSE
           DEPART; HERE ALL EYES GAZE ON US.
<JoeIsham> UH, SURE, I CAN WAIT IN THE BACK.

<EmileJ>   LOL, this is turning out good :)

<dananana> WELL PEACE BE WITH YOU SIR.  HERE COMES MY MAN.
<JoeIsham> GOOD. I THINK I'LL JUST BROWSE WHILE I'M WAITING.
<dananana> ROMEO, THE LOVE I BEAR THEE CAN AFFORD NO BETTER TERM THAN THIS.
           THOU ART A VILLAIN.
<JoeIsham> I WANT TO KEEP THIS ON A PROFESSIONAL LEVEL.
<dananana> BOY, THIS SHALL NOT EXCUSE THE INJURIES THAT THOU HAST DONE ME;
           THEREFORE TURN AND DRAW.
<JoeIsham> YEAH, THE SPRINGS JUST POP LOOSE AND POKE YOU WHEN YOU PUSH THE
           KNOB.
<dananana> O CALM, DISHONORABLE, VILE SUBMISSION!
<JoeIsham> IT IS PRETTY BAD, BUT IT SHOULD BE COVERED BY WARRANTY.
<dananana> WHAT WOUD'ST THOU HAVE WITH ME?
<JoeIsham> I WOULD HAVE YOU EITHER FIX MY TOASTER OR REPLACE IT.
<dananana> I AM FOR YOU.
<JoeIsham> UM, ER, THANKS, BUT CAN I GET MY TOASTER FIXED?
<dananana> DRAW, BENVOLIO; BEAT DOWN THEIR WEAPONS.  GENTLEMEN, FOR SHAME,
           FORBEAR THIS OUTRAGE!  TYBALT, MERCUTIO, THE PRINCE EXPRESSLY
           HATH FORBIDDEN BANDYING IN VERONA STREETS.  HOLD TYBALT!  GOOD
           MERCUTIO!
<JoeIsham> LOOK, ALL OF VERONA MALL IS GOING TO HEAR THIS. WHY DON'T I JUST
           GET ANOTHER TOASTER?
<dananana> WHAT!  ART THOU HURT?
<JoeIsham> WELL, YEAH, I'M HURT THAT YOU DON'T SEEM INTERESTED IN FIXING MY
           TOASTER.
<dananana> COURAGE MAN; THE HURT CANNOT BE MUCH.
<JoeIsham> I'LL BE OK.
<dananana> I THOUGHT ALL FOR THE BEST
<JoeIsham> YES. I THINK I'LL JUST GO FIND ANOTHER TOASTER.
<dananana> THIS GENTLEMENT, THE PRINCE'S NEAR ALLY, MY VERY FRIEND HATH GOT
           THIS MORTAL HURT IN Y BEHALF; MYU REPUTATION STAIN'D WITH TYBALT'S
           SLANDER.  TYBALT, THAT AN HOUR HATH BEEN MY COUSIN.  O SWEET
           JULIET!  THY BEAUTY HATH MADE ME EFFEMINATE, AND IN MY TEMPER
           SOFTENED VALOUR'S STEEL.
<JoeIsham> I DON'T GIVE A RAT'S *** ABOUT VALOUR'S STEEL! I'M INTERESTED IN
           STAINLESS STEEL... SAY, THAT'S A NICE ONE.
<dananana> THIS DAY'S BLACK FATE ON MORE DAYS DOTH DEPEND; THIS BUT BEGINS
           THE WOE OTHERS MUST END.
<JoeIsham> OH, SO IT'S GOT TO GO TO THE SHOP, HUH? WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT
           THIS MODEL?
<dananana> HERE COMES THE FURIOUS TYBALT BACK AGAIN.
<JoeIsham> DOES IT COME WITH BATTERIES?

<JoeIsham>    *scene*
<dananana>    Woohoo! That was hilarious!
<JoeIsham>    Yay!!! It were great!
<ShitButtons> *applause*
<EmileJ>      Yay!
<dananana>    That was hard - I didn't get to do too many of the famous
              lines -- the 'tis not as wide as a church door' bit. :)
<Locknestra> *claps*

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Game:    Every Other Line
Players: EmileJ, Locknestra
Scene:   At a hotel reception desk, Locknestra reads from "Bald Soprano",
         EmileJ's end line is "Add that to the list of things I'll never
         have."

<Locknestra> DO YOU KNOW HER?
<EmileJ>     I'M NOT SURE, WASN'T SHE THE ONE WHO CHECKED IN AT 4:30?
<Locknestra> I'VE NEVER SEEN HER, IS SHE PRETTY?
<EmileJ>     SHE'S QUITE...UM...CURVACIOUS, IF I MAY SAY SO. SHE'S GOT ALL
             THE RIGHT ANGLES.
<Locknestra> WE SHALL HAVE TO GO TO THEIR WEDDING, I SUPPOSE.
<EmileJ>     THAT'S RIGHT! YOU GOT AN INVITATION TOO! 
<Locknestra> WHY DON'T WE GIVE THEM ONE OF THE SEVEN SILVER SALVERS THAT
             WERE GIVEN TO US FOR OUR WEDDING WHICH HAVE NEVER BEEN ANY USE
             TO US?

<dananana>   *snort*

<EmileJ>     AW, FOR CRIMINY'S SAKE, BEATRICE! I TOLD YOU I'D USE THEM
             EVENTUALLY! WHY GIVE THEM TO SOME COUPLE WE BARELY KNOW?
<Locknestra> BUT WHO WOULD TAKE CARE OF THE CHILDREN?
<EmileJ>     WE HAVE CHILDREN? THAT'S NEWS TO ME, BEATRICE! IS THERE
             SOMETHING YOU AREN'T TELLING ME?
<Locknestra> WHO? BOBBY WATSON?

<dananana>   *snort again!*
             
<EmileJ>     OH MY GOD. THAT OL' LOUT?! WASN'T HE A JANITOR?
<Locknestra> NO, IT'S NOT THAT ONE, ITS BOBBY WATSON, THE SON OF OLD BOBBY
             WATSON, THE LATE BOBBY WATSON'S OTHER UNCLE

<Locknestra> *LOL*
<JoeIsham>   ROFL!

<EmileJ>     OH. I SEE........BOBBY *WATSON*. I THOUGHT YOU SAID BOBBY
             WATSON. MY MISTAKE.

<dananana>   You guys have not read this play, I guess! The whole thing
             reads exactly like this scene!

<Locknestra> ARE YOU REFERRING TO BOBBY WATSON THE COMMERCIAL TRAVELER?
<EmileJ>     I SUPPOSE I'M NOT. BUT THAT STILL DOESN'T EXPLAIN THE CHILDREN,
             DOES IT, BEATRICE?
<Locknestra> I DON'T KNOW EVERYTHING, I CAN'T ANSWER ALL YOUR IDIOTIC
             QUESTIONS!
<EmileJ>     IDIOTIC QUESTIONS? EXCUSE ME? I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW, I KNOW
             EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS BLASTED HOTEL WE WORK IN. AND I KNOW A
             FEW LITTLE...SECRETS OF YOURS.
<Locknestra> MEN ARE ALL ALIKE! YOU SIT THERE ALL DAY LONG, A CIGARETTE IN
             YOUR MOUTH OR YOUR POWDER YOUR NOSE AND ROUGE YOUR LIPS, 50
             TIMES A DAY, OR ELSE YOU DRINK LIKE A FISH!

* dananana is following along in the french version

<EmileJ>     I'VE NEVER WORN ROUGE IN MY LIFE, BEATRICE! A LIGHT FOUNDATION,
             MAYBE, SOME MASCARA, ONCE OR TWICE, BUT NEVER ROUGE!
<Locknestra> IT'S NOTHING TO ME! BUT IF YOU'RE ONLY SAYING THAT TO ANNOY
             ME... I DON'T CARE FOR THAT KIND OF JOKING, YOU KNOW THAT VERY
             WELL!
<EmileJ>     OH ALL RIGHT. FINE, BEATRICE. HAVE IT YOUR WAY...I SUPPOSE YOU
             DON'T LIKE MY FRILLY DRESSES EITHER?
<Locknestra> I HOPE YOU'VE SPENT A PLEASANT AFTERNOON, THAT YOU WENT TO THE
             CINEMA WITH A MAN AND THAT YOU DRANK SOME BRANDY AND MILK. WE
             DIDN'T DO IT ON PURPOSE.
<EmileJ>     WE, WE, WE....HONESTLY...I THINK YOU'RE JEALOUS!
<Locknestra> MY DEAR, WILL YOU PLEASE ASK MR AND MRS MARTIN TO STEP IN, WE
             WILL CHANGE QUICKLY.
<EmileJ>     HAVING ANOTHER MOOD SWING I SEE. *SIGH* A WOMAN WITHOUT PMS...
             ADD THAT TO THE LIST OF THINGS I'LL NEVER HAVE.

<JoeIsham>   *scene*
<dananana>   Woohoo!
<JoeIsham>   Yay!
<jk>         *BUZZ*
<dananana>   Bzzzzt!
<Locknestra> *sniffles*
<EmileJ>     *hugs* Great game, Linz! :)
<dananana>   Wooohoo!
<Locknestra> *gi* I forgot how much fun this play is! "Let's go and slap
             Ulysses!"
<dananana>   It's the strangest play ever. It's even weirder in french.

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