--------------------------------------------------------------------------- WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY? WLIIA Chat Games --------------------------------------------------------------------------- BARTENDER --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Game: Bartender Players: Brady, Mochrie Scene: Mochrie thinks he is an ostrich HEY, I'D LIKE A DRINK PLEASE...ANYTHING YA GOT. HERE YA GO. YOU DON'T LOOK THAT GOOD ... LET ME TELL YOU WHY... * Brady pushes the drink in front of Mochrie. OH, I'M SAD AS CAN BE, MY LIFE REALLY BLOWS.... CAUSE I'M COVERED WITH FEATHERS, AND I ONLY HAVE TWO TOES I'M AN OSTRICH, I AM, AND I DON'T KNOW WHY AND I'LL NEVER BE FREE, CAUSE I JUST CANNOT FLY BEIN' AN OSTRICH IS NO FUN AT ALL YOU CAN'T SING, YOU CAN'T DANCE, YOU CAN'T GO TO THE MALL IF I COULD GIVE ANYTHING IN THIS WORLD, YOU SEE I'D LIKE ONE MORE TOE, CAUSE THEN I'D HAVE THREE! * BSherwood sniffs... tis sad :) LOL! ROFL! LOL! LOL! SO CAN YOU HELP ME, BUD? TOUGH PROBLEM, BUT YOU KNOW ... NOW YOU KNOW YOU DON'T REALLY HAVE TO BEG DON'T GET SO ANXIOUS, YOU MIGHT LAY AN EGG!!! I KNOW THE ANSWER TO YOUR PROBLEMS, YES I DO I KNOW YOU WANT TO STICK YOUR HEAD IN THE SAND YOU SEE YOUR REAL PROBLEM IS YOUR STRESS PULLS YA DOWN TO THE LAND GET LOOSE AND YOU CAN LEARN TO FLY FROM YOUR PROBLEMS, IT'S TRUE!! LOL! LOL! LOL! LOL! FLY AWAY LIL BIRDIE! :) LET ME SPREAD MY WINGS AND FLY!! * Brady tries to scare Mochrie into flight. :) * Mochrie flies away...then crashes into a wall. * DaHuLori cheers. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Game: Bartender Players: Brady, BSherwood Scene: BSherwood is in love with flannel * Brady pours drink. * RUSH2112 plays the "in love with ____" music in the background...a la R.V BARMAN, BARMAN POUR ME A DRINK! I'VE GOT TASTE IN CLOTHING THAT REALLY STINK I AMAZE ALL WITH MY TASTE IN ATTIRE MY PREFERENCE FOR FLANNEL, MAN IT'S SO DIRE SO BARMAN, BARMAN HELP ME IF YOU CAN FLANNEL JAMMIES AREN'T RIGHT FOR A KIWI MAN! :) ROFL!!!!! Heh heh Very Good!! LOL! Very clever Dean! WELL FLANNEL IS A COMFY FABRIC I REALLY THINK AND IT'S GREAT FOR COLD WEATHER, NO IT DOES NOT STINK!! BUT LOVING IT THAT WAY CAN BE KINDA MESSY SO WEAR IT YES I THINK THAT'S COOL BUT IF YOU DO ANY MORE WITH IT MAN YOU'RE A FOOL SO STOP IT RIGHT NOW, JUST LISTEN TO YOUR FRIEND JESSIE!! CAUSE CLOTHING IS CLOTHING, NOTHING MORE PICK YOURSELF OFF MAN, DON'T FALL TO THE FLOOR AND FIND YOURSELF SOMEONE IN THEM INSTEAD THEY'LL MAKE YOU WARMER THAN THE JAMMIES IN YOUR BED!! LOL Oops! LOL! Very good Jess :) LOL! * St_Emile applauds tremendously....at the appropriate juncture!! LOL...ditto! *grin* Thanks :) --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Game: Bartender Players: Brady, RStiles Scene: RStiles is angry about his neighbours BARKEEP, A DRINK. THANK GOD, I'M OUTTA THE HOUSE. HERE YA GO ... PROBLEMS AT HOME? THE THING ABOUT MY NEIGHBOURS, THE KIDS ARE SUCH BRATS THEY HAVE THIS TINY LITTLE DOG, I THINK IT'S PART RAT THE DAD IS LOSER, AND THE WIFE IS A HAG WHENEVER I SEE THEM, I THROW UP IN A BAG. JUST DON'T THROW UP HERE OKAY? LOL! Very good :) It wasn't that good!! NEIGHBOURS YES THEY CAN BE QUITE A PEST BEING LOUD, BUGGING YOU, AND ALL THE REST BUT YOU KNOW YOU DON'T HAVE TO PUT UP WITH THAT THERE ARE DIFFERENT WAYS TO GET YOUR REVENGE YOU KNOW YOU CAN CLEAN YOUR DRIVEWAY FILLING THEIRS WITH THE SNOW OR EVEN STRAP EXPLOSIVES TO THEIR CAT THE DOG'LL GET IT, AND THEY'LL ALL SCREAM AND YOU'LL FEEL GLORIOUS, LIKE IN A DREAM THEY MIGHT KEEP COMPLAINING AND BUGGING I GUESS BUT THEN AGAIN YOU JUST MIGHT FINALLY GET SOME PEACE AS LONG AS YOU SCARE EM ENOUGH SO THEY DON'T CALL THE POLICE. CAUSE IF THEY FEAR YOU THEY MIGHT GIVE IT A REST!! YAY! Woo! Woo! Woo!!! :) :) LOL! JUST DON'T TELL ANYONE I TOLD YOU TO DO THAT! * BSherwood wishes he was as good as you guys :) * BayofNine applauds... Oh, don't start Dean! :) Wow..talk about long!! LOL! Long verse Jess! Yeah, I got carried away Jeffy! :) I know, I got stuck and had to keep going to finish it. It was great tho.. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Game: Bartender Players: ChipEsten, Mochrie Scene: Mochrie is angry about his apron * ChipEsten wipes the bar casually. POUR ME A LARGE DRINK BUDDY, AND DON'T SPARE THE SUDS.... OKAY, YOU SEEM TO NEED IT. I'M PISSED, AND I GOTTA TELL YOU WHY, IT AIN'T FROM THE BEER EITHER! TELL ME! YOU'D THINK THAT BEING A FRENCH MAID WOULD BE THE EASIEST JOB TO DO... UH-HUH. LOL! LOL! TO WEAR THAT FRILLY APRON ALL DAY LONG SOUNDS GREAT TO ME, AND SHOULD TO YOU... OH YEAH! BUT I GOTTA TELL YOU, I'M MAD AS HELL, AND I GOTTA LET LOOSE SOME THINGS... IT'S HARD TO BE A MAID IF YOU'RE ALWAYS TIED TO YOUR APRON STRINGS! WELL LET ME TO TELL YOU THAT APRON SUITS YOU LOTS AND LOTS... WELL THANKS....I DO LOOK GOOD IN IT. SOME PEOPLE WOULDN'T LOOK QUITE SO GOOD IN LINCOLN GREEN WITH PINK POLKA DOTS... LOL! LOL! LOL! BUT IF YOU'RE A FRENCH MAID AND YOU WANNA GET IT ON... TELL ME! TELL ME! I'LL GIVE YOU TEN BUCKS IF YOU SUCK ON MY SAUCISSON! MAIS OUI! *BZZZZZZZZ* * Mochrie buzzes, and curtsies... * jk appluds! * ChipEsten wipes the bar again. LOL! Yay!! --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Game: Bartender Players: ChipEsten, Steen Scene: Steen is in love with Lisa HIYA BARKEEP, GIVE ME A DOUBLE! A DOUBLE WHAT? ANYTHING, JUST MAKE IT A DOUBLE! OKAY. YOU HAVE SOMEONE ON YOUR MIND? I HATE TO MAKE IT SOUND LIKE I'M A BIG LOSER... UH HUH... BUT I'M IN LOVE WITH A SOUTH TEXAS WHOSER... OH NO! Hehe! *grin* SHE'S VERY CLEAN AND SHE DOESN'T HAVE FLEAS... BUT IN A COUPLE OF MONTHS, SHE'S GOING TO BELIZE! LOL! YOU'VE GOT TO TELL ME WHAT I'M SUPPOSED TO DO... WELL YOU KNOW THIS GIRL'S A TEACHER, AND THE KIDS ALL THINK SHE'S GREAT.... HEY, LET ME FINISH MY STORY, YOU... SORRY, CARRY ON... :) LOL!!! LOL! SHE'S VERY POPULAR IN FRONT OF HER CLASS... Uh oh...LOL! Oh dear... AND WHEN I LOOK AT HER, SHE HAS A NICE ...BEHIND. I KNOW! :) Hmmm, Steen pulled a Greg! :) LOL! hehehe *g* I'LL JUST TAKE A DRINK NOW... :) WELL THIS GIRL'S A FANTASTIC TEACHER, ALL THE KIDS THINK SHE'S THE TOPS... BUT WHEN SHE'S GOING AFTER A MAN, SHE PULLS OUT ALL THE STOPS... SHE'LL GIVE YOU LESSONS, HER CLASSES REALLY ARE THE BEST... AND I'M SURE SHE'LL GIVE YOU FULL MARKS IN THE ORAL TEST! :) Oh no... Woooo! LOL! LOL! * jk applauds. * Claud cheers. *BZZZZZZZZZZZZ* Matt, Joe, i'm ashamed of you!!! LOL!!! * ChipEsten needs a drink now! :) * jk thinks Clive should award all the points to herself! :) All 69 of them! *clap* *clap* *clap* --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Game: Bartender Players: ChipEsten, D_Siegel Scene: D_Siegel is angry about her hairstyle * LauraHall plays a melody in the background. HEY CHIP... HI DENNY, YOU LOOK MAD AS A BALLOON I HAVE A BIG PROBLEM YOU SEE, CAN I SING YOU ABOUT IT? CARRY ON... I WENT TO THE SALON TO GET A NEW STYLE FOR PROM YOU SEE UH HUH *wipes glass flamboyantly* BUT NOW, THIS HAT I WEAR IS ALL THAT ON MY HEAD BE * LauraHall laughs while playing the keyboard and breaks a nail. IT MAKES ME SO MAD WHAT SHE DID TO MY HEAD I JUST WANT TO CURL UP AND GO TO BED! I WAS SO ANGRY I WENT TO THE PHONE AND CALLED, I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT DITZ MADE ME BALD! *Takes a drink* You've come as Clive Anderson! ;-) * D_Siegel slaps LauraHall around a bit with a large trout. * Clive glares at LauraHall, then laughs. PLEASE DON'T BELIEVE THAT YOU HAVE BECOME A FREAK THAT HAIRSTYLE MAKES YOU NOTHING IF NOT UNIQUE I'M SURE THE STYLIST WHO SHAVED YOUR HEAD WAS A LID SHORT OF A BOX AND DECIDED IT WOULD IMPROVE YOU TO SHED YOU OF YOUR LOCKS ANYWAY, DON'T THINK THAT YOUR HAIRCUT IS A SHAM AND ONE BIG FARCE YOU'LL ALWAYS WIN COMPETITIONS FOR LOOKING LIKE A BUILDER'S ARSE AND REMEMBER EVERY TIME PEOPLE STOP YOU TO HAVE A GOAD.... *BUZZ!!!* * D_Siegel stands up and hits Chip with trout as she leaves. =) Oops! THERE'S THAT GREAT NEWLY-OPENED WIG SHOP DOWN THE ROAD :) *wipes bar as he finishes* OK -- *BUZZ!* We both messed up! LOL! --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Game: Bartender Players: Bremner, ChipEsten Scene: Bremner is in love with Sam's cat Beau He's an orange tabby weighing 16 pounds if that helps... OK... I don't think it will *wipes bar enthusiastically* OH, BARKEEP, I'M REALLY MAD... STEAMED! BARKEEP? YOU MUST BE A MAD AMERICAN! I USED TO LOVE A PRETTY KITTY, YOU KNOW ITS NAME UH HUH... IT DIDN'T START WITH J, BUT I LOVED IT JUST THE SAME *head hits the bar* WE USED TO GO ON WALKS, AND THEN WE'D GO TO DINNER OF ALL THE CATS I'VE LOVED BEFORE, I THINK BEAU WAS A WINNER BUT THEN ONE DAY SOMETHING HAPPENED, NOW I'M HERE LIKE A BUMP ON A LOG MY PRETTY KITTY LEFT ME... LEFT ME FOR A DOG. *takes drink* Beau, you slut you! :) LOL! Hehehe! I CAN SEE YOU ARE ANGRY, YOUR FACE LOOKS TIGHT AND FRAUGHT YEP. IT REALLY IS THE RIGHT TIME NOW TO TAKE A BRIEF PAWS FOR THOUGHT I SEE. *groan* =) Only in IRC, people! IT'S TOUGH WHEN A LOVED ONE LEAVES YOU, IT MAKES YOU CROSS AND MAD AND WHEN YOU GET OVER THE FURY, YOU'RE JUST LEFT FELINE SAD UH-HUH. SO THERE'S LITTLE I CAN TELL YOU THAT YOU DON'T ALREADY KNOW YOU HAVE TO ERASE FROM YOUR MIND ALL THOUGHTS OF BEAU BUT MAY I TELL YOU NOW YOU SHOULDN'T BE SO FUSSY *I'm going to regret this* Alert the ABC Censor :) *waits for it* You get slapped if u need to be censored! THERE'S MANY A GUY OUT THERE WHO'D LOVE TO BE SEEN WITH SAM'S PUSSY! *wipes bar and cowers* THANK YOU. * D_Siegel slaps ChipEsten around a bit with a large trout. * Mochrie sticks an ABC "Censored" sign on Chip's mouth. *BUZZ!* (beer) ROTFLMAO!!! Yeah!!!!!! LOL! LOL! Hooo boy! Woo! LOL!! Chip couldn't have done better himself :) * Broth_Sam is still laughing. Er, actually, he could! :) Hehehe! --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Game: Bartender Players: Bremner, D_Siegel Scene: Bremner is angry that no one remembered his birthday HEY BARKEEP, NO BEER YET! I'M TOO YOUNG :-) HERE, THERE'S NO ALKY, BUT IT TASTES GOOD. WHY ARE YOU SO UPSET? TODAY, I'M MAD, I'M REALLY REALLY MAD A DAY SO GOOD, JUST TURNED OUT TO BE BAD FOLKS MADE ME FEEL LIKE SUCH A JERK AT HOME, AT SCHOOL, ON CHAT, AT WORK (I don't go to work, but for the rhyme.) SUCH AN IMPORTANT DAY, YOU KNOW, FOR ME... BUT EVERYONE THOUGHT I WAS BORN ON APRIL THREE... OF COURSE, I KNOW, THAT'S JUST AN EXCUSE BUT IF I DON'T GET SOME GIFTS NOW I'LL UP AND BLOW A FUSE. GRRRRRRRRR! *takes drink* *GASP* I'M SO SORRY, MY BRAIN IS SHOT I THINK I'VE LOST WHAT MIND I GOT I HAD NO IDEA YOU'D BE SO UPTIGHT SO CLIMB UP THIS LADDER AND TAKE A LIGHT UH-HUH. UH, IT'S MY GIFT TO YOU SINCE YOU'RE SUCH A GOOD FRIEND HERE'S HOPING OUR FRIENDSHIP DID NOT JUST COME TO AN END! *FINISHED OFF DRINK* Yeah! *BUZZ* Not horrible for a first attempt . . . =) Not bad for somehting I dreamed up while on the phone with my cousin. Good job! :) Thanks Squeeze Toy! :-) --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Game: Bartender Players: Bremner, ChipEsten Scene: Bremner is afraid of his yearly bath * Sherwood holds nose AHH, MAY 20, DON'T YOU KNOW IT'S TIME FOR ME TO WASH MYSELF OF ALL THAT DIRT 'N GRIME I'VE MANAGED TO AVOID IT, SINCE I WAS A LITTLE KID WHY DO I HAVE TO TAKE A BATH, I DON'T KNOW WHAT I DID. MY TRADEMARK SCENT, MY ODOR, OH HOW I HOLD IT DEAR PLEASE DON'T DIP ME IN THE TUB, IT'S THOSE BIG WHITE SUDS I FEAR!!! Hmmmm... YOU ABSOLUTELY STINK, YOU MAKE ME WANT TO HURL... YOU NEED TO BE CLEAN AND FRAGRANT IF YOU WANT TO GET THE GIRL LOL! Nice start! :o) Hehehe! BUT I HAVE, HER NAME IS... MAKE THE EFFORT WITH A BATH EACH DAY OR A SHOWER AT THE MOST AS THAT LADY WILL THEN BE PLEASED TO LET YOU BE HER HOST AHH, THANKS! I'LL DO IT FOR HER... AND IF YOU GET LUCKY, I'LL WAGER MORE THAN A GRAND... Uh oh... :o) SHE'LL DO THE JOB FOR YOU, AND GET YOUR LOOFAH IN HER HAND!!! OH WOW! *wipes bar* * Sherwood applauds. LOL! How did i know that was coming... :o) I'm surprised he knew what a loofah is! We have them too in England - despite being a third world nation ;) I was referring to your gender, not your nationality! --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Game: Bartender Players: D_Siegel, ChipEsten Scene: D_Siegel is angry that her two front teeth are missing Before we begin, here's an extract from the lengthy debate preceding this game, where the Whosers were deciding what Denny's quirk would be... Clive, is she angry, pleased, thinks she smells...? Now Denny is up...let's say she's angry about something... Angry about being indecisive? Angry about being so happy! :) Angry that there isn't much fruit in her fruit pie? Then give it to John Sessions! LOL! Oh no, don't give Linz a pie one! :) Heehee Hehehehehehe!!!!!!! Angry about her haircut? Not enough cream in her Twinkie? (Ooops, that's a loaded one.) No...not with the frame of mind I am in...Twinkie...too many possibilities! Not to mention cream... WOW! We just had an eagle in the back yard! She's angry about... what? Hmmm....angry that there are eagles in her backyard? She's angry about an eagle in her back yard Nah, regular occurance here Come on - I pay for every minute i'm online!! :) She's angry about the neighbors having too many parties? Angry about the ass in her backyard! Well, maybe it crapped on your head or something, I dunno!!!! LOL! *sigh* Physically impossible, that :) You just have to be flexible... Oy vey....angry about being robbed? She's angry about paying for web access Yes, robbed sounds okay. Robbed of what? Anything you like! She's angry that an eagle robbed her neighbors at a party! LOL! What? I need something . . . come on!! Robbed of your birth control pills? Her eyes, tampons, children, hat? Tampons????? LOL!! No!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Just tossing out suggestions! I've created a monster! Robbed of her virginity? * D_Siegel is laughing at that possibility . . . No jokes about her going through a tough period then... Haha! *groan* * Clivey smacks his forehead. Bloody sad, really! ;) I was gonna use that! Someone stole her house! And no jokes about going with the flow... Ewwwww! ...or inserting a pregnant pause! Anyway... :) Can we get on with it please?? Geez, I'm glad I'm not the one saying it...you guys are stealing all my material! Angry about her dog crapping on the carpet! Angry about her oatmeal being runny! Doodoo is always funny... Angry about an eagle crapping on her dog Ew!! Sama! LOL! LOL! A dog crapping in her oatmeal? Jeff, you really are not helping! :) Ok, so Matt's period jokes are ok but as soon as I bring in oatmeal it's "ewwww"?? I'm not either.... U bring up oatmeal as often as U like, Sam lol :o) Angry about an eagle carrying away her tiepin! Angry about just finding out that there's no Santa Claus? Angry about finding out what a Scotsman's got under his kilt? :) Ocelot: Usually a chill... * Clivey thinks we'll be here all night just figuring out suggestions! LOL! Make a decision Clive!! The sad thing is this is probably funnier than the game! :) Hey! Thanks for the confidence in me, Jeff :) Angry about finding out that her grandfather's sporran is rented? WHAAAAAAAT? Let's get a suggestion going, people! This is a 30 minute show! And Sam.... *laugh* That was for Kerri. Angry that her two front teeth are missing? Yep! * ChipEsten is happy with that. * Sherwood wakes up after a short nap. I suppose so! You said that the other times Matt, and look what happened! Now get on with it! Before I take your points away! The points don't matter...just like Em... =) ------------------------------ AND NOW, ON WITH THE GAME!!!!! ------------------------------ HI THERE GAPPY!! MAN! I AM SO ANGRY!! LOOK! JUST LOOK! I AM SO MAD THAT THE DOC MESSED UP . . . HE HIT ME WHEN HE MADE ME SPIT IN THE CUP AND NOW I'M READY TO SCREAM AND SHOUT BUT I CAN'T THEEM TO GET MY "ETHES" OUT LOL! :) WD! THO NOW I HAVE PROBLEMTH WITH TALKING YOU THEE AND HERE'S HOPING YOU'LL THTILL TRY AND TALK WITH ME . . . I TALK JUTH LIKE THE PEEPTH IN THE THONG (SONG PEOPLE!) AND HERE'S HOPING WE'LL STILL GET ALONG . . . * OcelotGal claps. *WOULD TAKE A DRINK, BUT WAS NOT OFFERED ONE* =) THORRY FOR IMPERTHONATING YOU BUT I REALLY COULDN'T RETHITHT... LOL! :o) :) I UNDERTHAND YOU'VE HAD YOUR TEETH KICKED OUT BY A DENTITHT WHO WAS PITHED... HE WAS! LOL! LOL! *g* VIOLENTHE IS NEVER A GOOD THING ETHPECIALLY FROM A MEDICAL MAN AND NOW YOU HAVE GAP THAT'TH WIDER THAN A 40 TON TRANTHIT VAN * D_Siegel covers mouth... BUT ONE CONTHOLATION I CAN OFFER YOU AS YOU LEAVE MY DRINKING ROOM IS THAT I KNOW A GUY LOOKING FOR LOCATIONS FOR THE NEXT TEMPLE OF DOOM WHAT'S THAT? SO AS YOU DRINK YOUR WHISKY AND THINK ABOUT FLYING SOUTH THOUTH? REMEMBER YOUR TEETH WILL HELP YOU BECOME A GIRL WITH HARRITHON FORD IN HER MOUTH!! *wipes bar* * OcelotGal claps. * Susan10 applauds. * EddieIzz claps, LOL! Oh, Matt! (((Matt))) WD Chip! :o) Well done! * OcelotGal laughs and claps. I enjoyed that! :)