Sardar Ji
Santa Singh, the clever sardar, was interviewed for
the position of an english teacher.
The examiner said, "Let us start with some simple opposites".
The sardar agreed and here is how the interview went..
Examiner: Front
Santa: Back
Above.... Below.... Up.... Down....left....right...
Ugly....
(Santa thinks)
pichli
(examiner confused)
ugly!!!
pichli
(santa stresses again)
you are wrong...
I am right....
its over....
its not under....
dumb and stupid..
speaking and clever....
stop please....
continue please....
shut up....
open down.....
you are killing me.......
I am saving you......
YOU ARE REJECTED!!!
I AM ACCEPTED!!!, and santa jumps in joy!!!!!
A small boy wrote to Santa Claus : " Send me a
brother "
Santa wrote back : " Send me your mother "
Santa Singh was travelling in a crowded bus.
He was carrying the passport size photograph
of his son (for college admission). Accidently,
the photograph fell down from his pocket.
When Santa tried to pick it up the photograph
slipped under a woman's saree. He asked her
"Can you lift that saree? I wanna take a photograph"
The rest is history.
He was beaten so badly that he had to be admitted to hospital.
He was surprised to see Banta Singh on the bed next to him,
in a worse condition. Banta explained what happened to him
He had gone to a remote village to work. He finished late
and missed the last bus. He couldn't find any hotel.
So he approached a nearby house and asked the Owner whether
he can stay there for the night.The Owner replied"I have 2
grown up daughters. Sorry,I can't allow you to stay".
He approached the next house and asked whether he can stay
there for the night.The Owner replied,"I have 3 grown up
daughters.Sorry,I can't allow you to stay".
He went to the next house and asked:" Do you have "grown up"
Daughters?".
The Owner asked,"WHY?????????"
Banta replied," I wanted to stay here for a night....."
Santa was drawing money from ATM. Banta,
who was just behind him in the line said,
"Ha! Ha! Haaa! I've seen ur password.
Its 4 asterisks(****).
Santa replies, "Ha! Ha! Ha! You are wrong. Its 1258."
Santa: What kind of a wife do you want?
Pappu: Exactly like moon; which appears
in the night and disappears in the morning!
Sardar Santa Singh goes to a Udipi hotel to have
something to eat. He orders for Masala Dosa.
The waiter promptly gets him the dish but is surprised
to see that Santa eats only the masala leaving the dosa
behind.Santa then orders for 1 plate Samosa. Again
this time the waiter notices that Santa eats only the
filling and not the shell. Waiter is very curious.
Santa next orders for Batata Vada. This time around
also Santa eats only the filling and leaves the shell
behind. Waiter is losing his patience and walking upto
Santa asks him, "Sardarji, aap dish ke under ka hi cheez
kyon khaa rahe ho, kya baki cheez pasand nahi aaya..?"
(why are you eating the inside stuff don't you like
the rest of it.) Santa Singh says, "Arre bhaiyya,
aisi baat nahi. Hamaari tabiyat kuch teekh nahi isliye
doctor ne kaha ki baahar ka cheez mat khaya karo..."
(I am not feeling so well so the doctor told me not to
it outside stuff.)
Santa singh: Can u spell a word tht has more thn 1000 letters in it?.
Banta singh:Post office.
Sardar: Doctor help me, mein jab baat karta huun to
muje sirf awaaz sunai deti hai, aadmi nahi dikhta.
Dr: Aaisa kab hota hai?
Sardar: Phone karte waqt.
What is the chemical formula 4 water?
Sardar: HIJKLMNO.
Teacher: wht r u talking abt?
Sardar:Yesterday u said H to O.