Sardar Ji
A young man excitedly tells his mother he's fallen in love
and going to get married. He says, Just for fun, Ma,
I'm going to bring over 3 women and you try and guess
which one I'm going to marry.
The mother agrees.
The next day, he brings three beautiful women into the
house and sits them down on the couch and they chat for a
while. He then says, Okay, Ma, guess which one I'm going to marry.
She immediately replies, The one in the middle.
That's amazing, Ma. You're right. How did you know?
I don't like her.
Banta`s wife, Preeto, goes to England to attend a two-week,
company training session. Banta drives her to the airport
and wishes her to have a good trip.
Preeto answers, "Thank you honey, what would you like me
to bring for you?"
Banta laughs and says, "An English girl !!!
Preeto kept quiet and left.
Two weeks later Banta picks her up in the airport and asks,
"So, honey, how was the trip?"
"Very good, thank you."
"And, what happened to my present?"
"Which present?"
"What I asked for, the English girl?!"
Oh, that! Well, I did what I could, now we have to wait
a few months to see if its a girl !!!
Banta lost both ears in an accident. No plastic surgeon
could offer him a solution. He heard of a very good one in
Mumbai, and went to him.
The new surgeon examined him, thought a while, and said,
" Yes, I can put you right."
After the operation, bandages off, stitches out, he goes to
his hotel.
The morning after, in a rage, he calls his surgeon, and yells,
"You bastard, you gave me a woman`s ears."
"Well, an ear is an ear, it makes no difference whether it is
a man`s or a woman`s."
"You`re wrong, I hear everything, but I don`t understand a thing!"
Santa heard his son reciting his homework:
"Two plus two, the son of a bit*ch is four; four plus four,
the son of a bit*ch is eight; eight plus eight, the son of a
bit*ch...`" "Shut up !" shouted furoius Santa. "Watch your
language! You`re not allowed to use the swearwords".
"But, Dad," replied the boy, "that`s what the teacher taught
us, and she said to recite it out loud till we learned it."
Next day Santa went right into the classroom to complain.
"Oh, heavens !" said the teacher. "That`s not what I taught
them. They`re supposed to say, `Two plus two,
the sum of which is four.` "
Santa and his wife, Jeeto had just gone to bed for the night.
Just as Santa was about to fall asleep, his wife shook him
and said, "I hear someone breaking in."
At least two nights a week for twenty years Santa had gone
through this. He knew that the only way he would get any rest
was to go and check it out. So this time also he went out for
a routine check.
When Santa entered the den he was suprised by an intruder.
The man held a gun on him and continued to rob the house.
As the theif was about to leave our Santa said, "You have
to go and meet my wife, Jeeto."
The thief said, " Why on earth would you want me to meet your wife?"
Santa replied, "Well, she`s been expecting you for 20 years."