Balbir
A Sardar had arrived early at the stadium
for the first cricket game of the series between
local rival teams only to realize that he had
left his ticket at home. Not wanting to miss any
of the first inning, he went to the ticket booth
and got in a long line for another seat.
After an hour's wait he was just a few feet from
the booth when a voice called out, "Hey, Balbir!"
He looked up, stepped out of line and tried to find
the owner of the voice-with no success .Then he
realized he had lost his place in the line,and had to
go back to the end of the line and wait all over again.
After he had purchased his ticket, he was thirsty,
so he went to buy a coke. The line at the concession
stand was also very long. But since the game hadn't
started he decided to wait. Just as he got to the
window, a voice called out"Hey, Balbir!" Again He
tried to find the voice and got out of line as he
wandered looking for the owner of the voice.
But no luck. he was very upset as he got back in
line for his coke.Finally he had his coke and took
his seat eager for the game to begin.
As he waited for the first pitch, he heard the
voice calling, "Hey, Balbir!" once more. Furious,
He stood up and yelled at the top of his lungs,
"My name isn't Balbir!"
Santa Singh once won the lottery. He went to Delhi
to collect his money, only to find that the money
would only be delivered to him lakh by lakh over
the next month. The sardar was angry. "Yaar,
I want all my money now."
Teller: "I'm sorry, but that cannot happen.
It will be delivered to you later.
Santa: "Very well. In that case, I want back the
money I paid for the lottery ticket!
Santa once went to the library.
Santa (to librarian): I borrowed this book a week
ago.There was no plot,climax,whatsoever.It only had
a bunch of names and numbers.The story was
completely pointless.
Librarian: Oh, you must have been the one
who borrowed our phone book!
Poetic Sardar
Once many people from around the world were invited
at Queen Victoria's residence for lunch.
Many Indian Queens like Gunjan Tripathi and many of
their slaves like adwitya were there.
AT the beginning of the lunch it was announced that
every thing which is to be asked will be asked in a
poetic way. There was a sardar also. A person sitting
next to sardar said to his partner "Mr. Tibutboon,
please pass the spoon".
Now the sardar wanted custard. He thought a lot for
a simile for custard but couldn't find one. In the end
he said to his partner "you basturd, pass the custard".
Once a day santa climb-up in building,
which have 200 stories.
One of Santa's friend called him Banta your son has dead.
When he heard this he came soon early,but when he came
down on 100 story then he remember,aree I have no son,and
when he came on 50 story he remember,aee I m not married.
And when he came down on last story, then he remember
his name is santa not a Banta
Good bye, Mother!
A young man was walking through a supermarket to pick
up a few things when he noticed an old lady following
him around. Thinking nothing of it, he ignored her and
continued on. Finally he went to the checkout line,
but she got in front of him.
"Pardon me,"she said,"I'm sorry if my staring at you
has made you feel uncomfortable.It's just that you look
just like my son,who I haven't seen in a long time."
"That's a shame," replied the young man, "is there
anything I can do for you?"
"Yes," she said, "as I'm leaving, can you say 'Good bye,
Mother!' It would make me feel so much better."
"Sure," answered the young man. As the old woman was
leaving, he called out, "Good bye, Mother!" As he stepped
up to the checkout counter, he saw that his total
was $127.50. "How can that be?" he asked,
"I only purchased a few things!"
"Your mother said that you would pay for her,"
said the clerk
Cell Phone
A sardar is in a bar and his cellular phone rings,so he
picks it up and says "Hello,how did you know I was here?"
Banta & Thief
Banta Singh, coming back from a late night movie was
attacked by a thief. There was a terrific fight and
Banta gave a good account for himself. But finally
the thief tied him down and went through his pockets.
He found only 25 Paisa.
The exasperated robber exclaimed "What the hell.
Why were you fighting for only 25 Paisa"
Banta replied "Oh. You were only after this 25 paise
is it ? I thought you were after the Rs.1,000
I have hidden in my left shoe".
There was a Sardarji who was down on his luck.
In order to raise some money he decided to kidnap
a kid and hold him for ransom. He went to the playground,
grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him,
"I've kidnapped you."
The Sardarji then wrote a note saying: "I've kidnapped your kid.
Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and
put it beneath the mango tree next to the slide on
the north side of the city play ground".
Signed, "A Sardarji".
The Sardarji then pinned the note to the kid's shirt
and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next
morning the Sardarji checked, and sure enough a paper
bag was sitting beneath the mango tree. The Sardarji
opened up the bag and found the $10,000 with note saying,
"How could you do this to a fellow Sardarji?"
All the police organizations in the world are called to
meet at a common place to evaluate the best organization.
Only major organizations like the New York Police, the
Melbourne Police, Scotland Yard, the Dutch Police and
the Mumbai Police pass the eliminations round.
Now the task is to select the best one among them.
Surprisingly, all the 5 groups do equally well in all the
events so the judges put in a last (tiebreak) event to
select the best team. They set a tiger free into a nearby
forest and the team that catches the tiger in the least
amount of time is to be declared the winner.
First the Dutch Police go into the jungle and catch the tiger in 30 minutes.
Next the Melbourne Police go and return in 20 min. with
the tiger. After this the New York police go and catch
the tiger in 15 min. Next Scotland Yard detectives go in
and catch the tiger in a mere 10 min. The Mumbai Police
have the the last slot. The tiger is released and the Mumbai
Police start chasing it. 10 min go by.......20 min go
by......30 min go by....1 hour passes by....3 hours pass by.
The judges get vexed and decide to go into the jungle
in search of the Mumbai Police. In a short time after
getting into the jungle, they are amazed to find a big
BEAR tied to a tree trunk, being hit left and right by
the Mumbai Police,who are shouting,
'BOL TU SHER HAI ........... SALE BOL !
TU SHER HAI !' ('Come on say...... you are the lion!)
Two rich men were talking over coffee and croissants at
their country club one day and one of them said to the
other one, Hey, I tell you my driver is really stupid...
you don't think so?
Let me show you. And he called his driver Banta Singh over and said,
"Banta, here is a 10 dollar bill, go to the car showroom
and buy me a Mercedes." To which Banta replied, "Yes Sir!
Right away!" and rushed off to the showroom.
The rich man turned to his friend and said, "See,
I told you he was stupid."
The other rich man said, "That's nothing, you want to
see stupid, I will show you stupid." And he called his
driver, Santa Singh: "Santa, go home now and check to
see if I'm at home."Santa said, "Yes Sir!! Right away,
Sir" and ran home.
"See what I told you? He doesn't even have enough
brains to know that I cannot be at home if I am here."
Later on, the two drivers met on the road. Banta said to Santa, "Eh,
you know my boss is sooo stupid. He gave me 10 dollars and asked me
to go to the car showroom and buy him a Mercedes.....Doesn't
he know that today is Sunday? The showroom is closed!
" Santa replied, "You think he is stupid, huh? My boss is
so much worse, he asked me to go home to check if he is at home....
He's got a cellphone, right, he can just call home to check!
A Bihari was waiting for his bus at the bus stop.
Finally the bus arrives and he gets in. The bus is
fully loaded with sardarjis. One sardarji
orders Bihari to tell a joke. Now, the Bihari thinks
he's in big trouble because he knows only sardar jokes!
After thinking for some time he decides to substitute
all references to 'sardars' in his joke with 'Biharis'.
He starts the jokes with, "There was once a Bihari..."
And suddenly he gets a major blow on his back from one
of the sardarjis who shouts,"Kyon be! Sab sardar mar gaye hai kya?"
Santa was invited to Banta's home for dinner, where he
noticed that his buddy preceded every request to his wife
with endearing terms, calling her Jalebi, Honey, Pyaari,
Darling, Sweetheart etc. He was impressed, since the couple
had been married almost 40 years. While the wife was in the
kitchen, Santa said, "I think it's wonderful that after all
these years, you still call bhabhiji those pet names."
Banta hung his head. "To tell you the truth,
I forgot her name about 10 years ago."
Santa Singh and Banta Singh were discussing how they
would like to die. Santa said, "When I die, I want to
go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep.
I dont want to die screaming like some of his friends,
who also died at the same time."
Banta asked, "How did his friends die screaming while
your grandfather died sleeping peacefully?"
Santa Singh replied, "His friends were the passengers
in the car he was driving."
One train which was going peacefully on the rail-tracks
suddenly deviated from the tracks and went to the fields
nearby and then came back on the tracks.
The passengers were horrified.
On the next Railway station the driver was caught:
He was found to be a Sardar.
When he was questioned. He explained that there was
a man standing on the track and he was not moving from
there even after lots of honks etc.
Then authorities questioned : Sardarji are you mad!
just to save life of one person you put life of so many
passengers under danger.
You should have run over that person.
Sardar said : Exactly, that is what I also decided, but
this idiot started running towards the field when the
train came very close!
It's too funny...
While waiting for a bus a sardar sees a truck being towed
away by another truck. He laughs, breaks down, rolls on
the ground and cannot control his laughter.
There is a sindhi who is standing with the sardar for
the bus. He wonders what's up? Calls sardar, but sardar
cannot control himself, points at the towing truck & again
rolls on the ground, billowing more dust.
The sindhi papad is annoyed, pulls up sardar asks him what
is so funny? The sardar says "kya zamana aagaya,
ek rassi uthane ke liya do-do truck."
Cheating...
How Does a Sardar Cheat the Railways?
He buys the ticket but doesn't travel !
One day evening a Sardarji starts from office to
home with pushing his scooter manually.
He met his friend on the way...
Friend: why are you pushing your scooter manually?
Sardarji: 'I forgot to bring the scooter key from my home.
Friend: 'Is it! Then, How did you come to office
from home in the morning?'
Sardarji: 'I was pushing my scooter from home
to office also in the morning.'
Sardar ji sleeping in his house one night hears
some raffling and shuffling in the other room.
Convinced it is a burgler he jumps up and runs into
the other room to find an asian man. He shouts:
"o badmaash, me thinoo phad liya main choodna ne".
The burgler freezes and putting his hands together
anxiously says:"o paa jee, maaf kar do, mein tuwaada singh pai laghda"
Sardar ji says:"Achaa, e gal e? thu singh hega? teri
pug (Turban) kithe gaye a"?
Burglar replies"Tusi itthe wait kuro mein huni le ke aanda".
The burgler leaves and doesn't return.
Two weeks later, the same burgler is in the same home
shuffling away. In a fury sardar ji jump up and approaching
him shouts out:"O badmaash, last time mein tinoo chud ditha si... hon tu ithe
rook - mein teri pug le ke aandha".
Our Sardarji got an opportunity to fly to a nearby country.
Sardarji had never flied before and hence was quite
excited although tense.Once he boarded the plane, a BOEING
707 Sardaji started jumping in excitement,jumping from seat
to seat and shouting 'BOEING! BOEING!! BOEING!!! BO....'.
He forgot all about the surroundings and the
shouting reached the cock-pit.
Irritated by the sound, the Pilot came out and shouted
'BE SILENT! '.
There was a pin-drop silence everywhere and everybody was
looking at the Sardarji and the angry Pilot.
Sardarji stared at the Pilot in silence for a moment and
the next moment was shouting,
'OEING! OEING!! OEING!!! OE...'.
Garry Kasporav & Sardarji
Mr Banta Singh is traveling from Moscow to Bhatinda.
Seated besides him is Gary Kasparov. Gary asks him whether
he would like to play chess to kill time.
Banta : 'Oye Gar(r)y. You think I don't know who you are?.
I can't compete with a world champion'
Gary : 'How about if I play left handed ?'
Banta : [Think.. Think..] 'OK!'
Banta is demolished in 4 moves... and is very upset
through-out the rest of the journey. On landing he
meets his friend Santa Singh.
Banta : Hey! You know what! I played Chess with Gary
Kasparov and he defeated me inspite of him playing left-handed.....
Santa : Oye ullu-de pathey!! He sure did fool you!!
You know what!! Gary IS LEFT-HANDED!!
Sardarji & Telugu
One day a Sardarji talking with his friend.......
Sardarji: We have to learn Telugu within 6 months
or we will not be able to communicate with my child.
Friend: Is it! Why?
Sardarji: We have adopted a telugu child and it will
start to speak after 6 months.
Banta Singh in Heaven
After death, Banta Singh reached the door of the
heaven smoothly.
There he met Saint Peter and he said, 'Well, Banta...
It is nice to talk to you but we have changed our
policy these days. I will ask you a question and you
need to answer it correctly before you go in.'
Banta, with lot of self confidence told Saint
Peter to go ahead and ask him the damn question.
Saint Peter - How many seconds are there in a year?
Banta, after lot of thought, answered,'12'.
Astonished Saint Peter asked him - But how?
Banta - January 2nd,February 2nd,March 2nd,..........
Santa singh & message board
Santa Singh was walking on the road and paused to
read the graffiti on the wall.
It read 'Padne waala gadha.' (one who reads this is an ass)
Santa Singh sat on a nearby bench, and after much thought
erased it and wrote 'Likhne waala Ghadah'.
(One who wrote this is an ass)
Santa and the Interviewer
Santa Singh, who has a bad memory, goes for a job
interview in an office. The interviewer starts with
the basics. "So, can you tell us your age, please?"
Santa counts carefully on his fingers for half a minute
before replying. "Um .. 28."
The interviewer tries another straightforward one to
break the ice. "And can you tell us your height, please?"
The man stands up and produces a measuring tape
from his bag. He then traps one end under his foot
and extends the tape to the top of his head. He checks
the measurement and announces, "Five foot four!"
This isn't looking good so the interviewer goes
for the real basics; something the he won't have
to count, measure, or lookup. "Just to confirm for
our records, your name please?"
Santa Singh bobs his head from side to side for about
fifteen seconds, mouthing something silently to himself,
before replying, "Santa Singh!"
The interviewer is completely baffled at this stage,so
he asks,"What were you doing when I asked you your name?"
"Oh,that!"replies Santa,"I was just running through that
song,'Happy birthday to you,happy birthday to you,
happy birthday dear...'"
Balbir
A Sardar had arrived early at the stadium
for the first cricket game of the series between
local rival teams only to realize that he had
left his ticket at home. Not wanting to miss any
of the first inning, he went to the ticket booth
and got in a long line for another seat.
After an hour's wait he was just a few feet from
the booth when a voice called out, "Hey, Balbir!"
He looked up, stepped out of line and tried to find
the owner of the voice-with no success .Then he
realized he had lost his place in the line,and had to
go back to the end of the line and wait all over again.
After he had purchased his ticket, he was thirsty,
so he went to buy a coke. The line at the concession
stand was also very long. But since the game hadn't
started he decided to wait. Just as he got to the
window, a voice called out"Hey, Balbir!" Again He
tried to find the voice and got out of line as he
wandered looking for the owner of the voice.
But no luck. he was very upset as he got back in
line for his coke.Finally he had his coke and took
his seat eager for the game to begin.
As he waited for the first pitch, he heard the
voice calling, "Hey, Balbir!" once more. Furious,
He stood up and yelled at the top of his lungs,
"My name isn't Balbir!"
Santa Singh once won the lottery. He went to Delhi
to collect his money, only to find that the money
would only be delivered to him lakh by lakh over
the next month. The sardar was angry. "Yaar,
I want all my money now."
Teller: "I'm sorry, but that cannot happen.
It will be delivered to you later.
Santa: "Very well. In that case, I want back the
money I paid for the lottery ticket!
Santa once went to the library.
Santa (to librarian): I borrowed this book a week
ago.There was no plot,climax,whatsoever.It only had
a bunch of names and numbers.The story was
completely pointless.
Librarian: Oh, you must have been the one
who borrowed our phone book!
Poetic Sardar
Once many people from around the world were invited at Queen Victoria's residence for lunch. Many Indian Queens like Gunjan Tripathi and many of their slaves like adwitya were there. AT the beginning of the lunch it was announced that every thing which is to be asked will be asked in a poetic way. There was a sardar also. A person sitting next to sardar said to his partner "Mr. Tibutboon, please pass the spoon". Now the sardar wanted custard. He thought a lot for a simile for custard but couldn't find one. In the end he said to his partner "you basturd, pass the custard".
Once a day santa climb-up in building,
which have 200 stories.
One of Santa's friend called him Banta your son has dead.
When he heard this he came soon early,but when he came
down on 100 story then he remember,aree I have no son,and
when he came on 50 story he remember,aee I m not married.
And when he came down on last story, then he remember
his name is santa not a Banta
Good bye, Mother!
A young man was walking through a supermarket to pick up a few things when he noticed an old lady following him around. Thinking nothing of it, he ignored her and continued on. Finally he went to the checkout line, but she got in front of him. "Pardon me,"she said,"I'm sorry if my staring at you has made you feel uncomfortable.It's just that you look just like my son,who I haven't seen in a long time." "That's a shame," replied the young man, "is there anything I can do for you?" "Yes," she said, "as I'm leaving, can you say 'Good bye, Mother!' It would make me feel so much better." "Sure," answered the young man. As the old woman was leaving, he called out, "Good bye, Mother!" As he stepped up to the checkout counter, he saw that his total was $127.50. "How can that be?" he asked, "I only purchased a few things!" "Your mother said that you would pay for her," said the clerk
Cell Phone
A sardar is in a bar and his cellular phone rings,so he picks it up and says "Hello,how did you know I was here?"
Banta & Thief
Banta Singh, coming back from a late night movie was attacked by a thief. There was a terrific fight and Banta gave a good account for himself. But finally the thief tied him down and went through his pockets. He found only 25 Paisa. The exasperated robber exclaimed "What the hell. Why were you fighting for only 25 Paisa" Banta replied "Oh. You were only after this 25 paise is it ? I thought you were after the Rs.1,000 I have hidden in my left shoe".
There was a Sardarji who was down on his luck.
In order to raise some money he decided to kidnap
a kid and hold him for ransom. He went to the playground,
grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him,
"I've kidnapped you."
The Sardarji then wrote a note saying: "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it beneath the mango tree next to the slide on the north side of the city play ground".
Signed, "ASardarji".
The Sardarji then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning the Sardarji checked, and sure enough a paper bag was sitting beneath the mango tree. The Sardarji opened up the bag and found the $10,000 with note saying, "How could you do this to a fellow Sardarji?"
All the police organizations in the world are called to
meet at a common place to evaluate the best organization.
Only major organizations like the New York Police, the
Melbourne Police, Scotland Yard, the Dutch Police and
the Mumbai Police pass the eliminations round.
Now the task is to select the best one among them.
Surprisingly, all the 5 groups do equally well in all the
events so the judges put in a last (tiebreak) event to
select the best team. They set a tiger free into a nearby
forest and the team that catches the tiger in the least
amount of time is to be declared the winner.
First the Dutch Police go into the jungle and catch the tiger in 30 minutes. Next the Melbourne Police go and return in 20 min. with the tiger. After this the New York police go and catch the tiger in 15 min. Next Scotland Yard detectives go in and catch the tiger in a mere 10 min. The Mumbai Police have the the last slot. The tiger is released and the Mumbai Police start chasing it. 10 min go by.......20 min go by......30 min go by....1 hour passes by....3 hours pass by.
The judges get vexed and decide to go into the jungle in search of the Mumbai Police. In a short time after getting into the jungle, they are amazed to find a big BEAR tied to a tree trunk, being hit left and right by the Mumbai Police,who are shouting, 'BOL TU SHER HAI ........... SALE BOL ! TU SHER HAI !' ('Come on say...... you are the lion!)
Two rich men were talking over coffee and croissants at
their country club one day and one of them said to the
other one, Hey, I tell you my driver is really stupid...
you don't think so?
Let me show you. And he called his driver Banta Singh over and said, "Banta, here is a 10 dollar bill, go to the car showroom and buy me a Mercedes." To which Banta replied, "Yes Sir! Right away!" and rushed off to the showroom. The rich man turned to his friend and said, "See, I told you he was stupid."
The other rich man said, "That's nothing, you want to see stupid, I will show you stupid." And he called his driver, Santa Singh: "Santa, go home now and check to see if I'm at home."Santa said, "Yes Sir!! Right away, Sir" and ran home. "See what I told you? He doesn't even have enough brains to know that I cannot be at home if I am here."Later on, the two drivers met on the road. Banta said to Santa, "Eh, you know my boss is sooo stupid. He gave me 10 dollars and asked me to go to the car showroom and buy him a Mercedes.....Doesn't he know that today is Sunday? The showroom is closed! " Santa replied, "You think he is stupid, huh? My boss is so much worse, he asked me to go home to check if he is at home.... He's got a cellphone, right, he can just call home to check!
A Bihari was waiting for his bus at the bus stop.
Finally the bus arrives and he gets in. The bus is
fully loaded with sardarjis. One sardarji
orders Bihari to tell a joke. Now, the Bihari thinks
he's in big trouble because he knows only sardar jokes!
After thinking for some time he decides to substitute
all references to 'sardars' in his joke with 'Biharis'.
He starts the jokes with, "There was once a Bihari..."
And suddenly he gets a major blow on his back from one
of the sardarjis who shouts,"Kyon be! Sab sardar mar gaye hai kya?"
Santa was invited to Banta's home for dinner, where he
noticed that his buddy preceded every request to his wife
with endearing terms, calling her Jalebi, Honey, Pyaari,
Darling, Sweetheart etc. He was impressed, since the couple
had been married almost 40 years. While the wife was in the
kitchen, Santa said, "I think it's wonderful that after all
these years, you still call bhabhiji those pet names."
Banta hung his head. "To tell you the truth,
I forgot her name about 10 years ago."
Santa Singh and Banta Singh were discussing how they
would like to die. Santa said, "When I die, I want to
go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep.
I dont want to die screaming like some of his friends,
who also died at the same time."
Banta asked, "How did his friends die screaming while
your grandfather died sleeping peacefully?"
Santa Singh replied, "His friends were the passengers
in the car he was driving."
One train which was going peacefully on the rail-tracks
suddenly deviated from the tracks and went to the fields
nearby and then came back on the tracks.
The passengers were horrified.
On the next Railway station the driver was caught:
He was found to be a Sardar.
When he was questioned. He explained that there was
a man standing on the track and he was not moving from
there even after lots of honks etc.
Then authorities questioned : Sardarji are you mad!
just to save life of one person you put life of so many
passengers under danger.
You should have run over that person.
Sardar said : Exactly, that is what I also decided, but
this idiot started running towards the field when the
train came very close!
It's too funny...
While waiting for a bus a sardar sees a truck being towed away by another truck. He laughs, breaks down, rolls on the ground and cannot control his laughter. There is a sindhi who is standing with the sardar for the bus. He wonders what's up? Calls sardar, but sardar cannot control himself, points at the towing truck & again rolls on the ground, billowing more dust. The sindhi papad is annoyed, pulls up sardar asks him what is so funny? The sardar says "kya zamana aagaya, ek rassi uthane ke liya do-do truck."
Cheating...
How Does a Sardar Cheat the Railways? He buys the ticket but doesn't travel ! One day evening a Sardarji starts from office to home with pushing his scooter manually. He met his friend on the way... Friend: why are you pushing your scooter manually? Sardarji: 'I forgot to bring the scooter key from my home. Friend: 'Is it! Then, How did you come to office from home in the morning?' Sardarji: 'I was pushing my scooter from home to office also in the morning.' Sardar ji sleeping in his house one night hears some raffling and shuffling in the other room. Convinced it is a burgler he jumps up and runs into the other room to find an asian man. He shouts:"o badmaash, me thinoo phad liya main choodna ne".
The burgler freezes and putting his hands together anxiously says:"o paa jee, maaf kar do, mein tuwaada singh pai laghda"
Sardar ji says:"Achaa, e gal e? thu singh hega? teri pug (Turban) kithe gaye a"?
Burglar replies"Tusi itthe wait kuro mein huni le ke aanda".
The burgler leaves and doesn't return. Two weeks later, the same burgler is in the same home shuffling away. In a fury sardar ji jump up and approaching him shouts out:"O badmaash, last time mein tinoo chud ditha si... hon tu ithe rook - mein teri pug le ke aandha".
Our Sardarji got an opportunity to fly to a nearby country. Sardarji had never flied before and hence was quite excited although tense.Once he boarded the plane, a BOEING 707 Sardaji started jumping in excitement,jumping from seat to seat and shouting 'BOEING! BOEING!! BOEING!!! BO....'. He forgot all about the surroundings and the shouting reached the cock-pit. Irritated by the sound, the Pilot came out and shouted 'BE SILENT! '. There was a pin-drop silence everywhere and everybody was looking at the Sardarji and the angry Pilot. Sardarji stared at the Pilot in silence for a moment and the next moment was shouting, 'OEING! OEING!! OEING!!! OE...'.
Garry Kasporav & Sardarji
Mr Banta Singh is traveling from Moscow to Bhatinda. Seated besides him is Gary Kasparov. Gary asks him whether he would like to play chess to kill time. Banta : 'Oye Gar(r)y. You think I don't know who you are?. I can't compete with a world champion' Gary : 'How about if I play left handed ?' Banta : [Think.. Think..] 'OK!' Banta is demolished in 4 moves... and is very upset through-out the rest of the journey. On landing he meets his friend Santa Singh. Banta : Hey! You know what! I played Chess with Gary Kasparov and he defeated me inspite of him playing left-handed..... Santa : Oye ullu-de pathey!! He sure did fool you!! You know what!! Gary IS LEFT-HANDED!!
Sardarji & Telugu
One day a Sardarji talking with his friend....... Sardarji: We have to learn Telugu within 6 months or we will not be able to communicate with my child. Friend: Is it! Why? Sardarji: We have adopted a telugu child and it will start to speak after 6 months.
Banta Singh in Heaven
After death, Banta Singh reached the door of the heaven smoothly. There he met Saint Peter and he said, 'Well, Banta... It is nice to talk to you but we have changed our policy these days. I will ask you a question and you need to answer it correctly before you go in.' Banta, with lot of self confidence told Saint Peter to go ahead and ask him the damn question. Saint Peter - How many seconds are there in a year? Banta, after lot of thought, answered,'12'. Astonished Saint Peter asked him - But how? Banta - January 2nd,February 2nd,March 2nd,..........
Santa singh & message board
Santa Singh was walking on the road and paused to read the graffiti on the wall. It read 'Padne waala gadha.' (one who reads this is an ass) Santa Singh sat on a nearby bench, and after much thought erased it and wrote 'Likhne waala Ghadah'. (One who wrote this is an ass)
Santa and the Interviewer
Santa Singh, who has a bad memory, goes for a job interview in an office. The interviewer starts with the basics. "So, can you tell us your age, please?" Santa counts carefully on his fingers for half a minute before replying. "Um .. 28." The interviewer tries another straightforward one to break the ice. "And can you tell us your height, please?" The man stands up and produces a measuring tape from his bag. He then traps one end under his foot and extends the tape to the top of his head. He checks the measurement and announces, "Five foot four!" This isn't looking good so the interviewer goes for the real basics; something the he won't have to count, measure, or lookup. "Just to confirm for our records, your name please?" Santa Singh bobs his head from side to side for about fifteen seconds, mouthing something silently to himself, before replying, "Santa Singh!" The interviewer is completely baffled at this stage,so he asks,"What were you doing when I asked you your name?" "Oh,that!"replies Santa,"I was just running through that song,'Happy birthday to you,happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear...'"